Lily's Cowboys (16 page)
I wish I could write more and more often. I don’t want to use up all the pages. I want to save some for when I travel so I can record all my adventures. Amy Mullins’ family is moving to Texas. She promised she would write and tell me about it. Oh, but to go somewhere else.
September 14, 1917
Today my heart broke. My beautiful Da was killed in an accident. At least the sheriff said it was an accident. He was working with James Butler at the Peterson’s place. James claims Da fell off the roof of the barn. My Da could climb anything and not fall. I suspect Butler had something to do with it but the sheriff won’t listen. I don’t know what momma and I will do. The farm is all we have left besides each other. Da, if you are in heaven, please help momma and me. I miss you so much already. Love always, your faithful daughter, Lily.
February 16, 1918
It has been a hard winter. Momma had to sell most of the livestock. Many of the towns’ folks have become very ill. Some have died. I’m scared for momma. She hasn’t been well since Da died. I’m afraid I might lose her and then I won’t have anyone. James Butler keeps coming by but momma won’t give the man the time of day. She sends him away before he even gets off his horse. If the spring doesn’t come soon I fear our food supplies will run dangerously low. Da, if you can hear me, please take care of momma. She misses you so much as do I. Love always, your faithful daughter, Lily.
June 15, 1918
I’ve had to pick up some housekeeping work with the Peterson’s to help buy food. The garden isn’t producing as much as we would like. Mr. Marshall at the General Store has agreed to purchase some of our vegetables to sell at his store. I’ll drop it off once a week when I go to clean the Peterson’s. James Butler hasn’t been around much lately, thank goodness. Momma is still weak and needs me. I do what I can around the farm. We are down to just old Gladys, the mule, and Trudy, the milk cow, plus a handful of chickens. Thank goodness for the chickens, their eggs have been a blessing. Some nights I get so hungry but I know I shouldn’t eat the food we need to sell. Da, momma says to say hello. She’ll wait for you. I love you too, Da. Love always, your faithful daughter, Lily.
December 24, 1918
A blizzard blew in last night. There is almost an inch of ice on the inside of the windows. I can’t write long as we need to save the candles. I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas, Da. Love always, your faithful daughter, Lily.
February 23, 1919
James Butler has been coming around again. Two of our chickens have disappeared and I suspect he had something to do with it. He is trying to get momma to marry him but she won’t. She won’t ever look at another man. She still grieves for Da. He threatened her. I told her she should tell the sheriff but she won’t. I’ll be eighteen soon and the Peterson’s have said they will hire me fulltime as their housekeeper. The farm is more than what momma and I can handle. If I get the job the Peterson’s said we can move into the cabin near the main house. I’ll move momma there and will be able to take care of her better. Da, I’m worried. Please, if you are looking down on us say a prayer for us. Love always, your faithful daughter, Lily.
March 4, 1919
Oh, God. Please help us. James Butler caught me alone in our barn today. I was so scared. He grabbed me and it hurt so bad I screamed. Momma heard me and came running. I know he would have hurt me more if Momma hadn’t picked up the pitchfork and threatened him. He told her he was going to marry her and have me too. It was going to be a packaged deal. He said such awful things Momma and I both cried. Da, if you are there, please keep us safe. I’m so scared. Love always, your faithful daughter, Lily.
April 11, 1919
James Butler came to the house and threatened Momma and me again. He caught me in the barn again and hurt me. Momma came out with the shotgun and warned him away but I fear he will be back. All our chickens are dead. I found a man’s footprint leading away from the coup and it was right after James Butler hurt me. The sheriff won’t listen to me but I plan on telling him what happened again tomorrow when I go to town. I don’t want to go and leave Momma alone but we need to sell our canned goods. The sheriff said Momma and me needed to move away last time. I know he’ll tell us again but where will we go? We have no family. Please Da, we need you. Love always, your faithful daughter, Lily.
April 12, 1919
I died today. I am so scared. I haven’t even had a chance to live and already my life is over. I came home late because of the rain. It took me longer than I expected. I should have stayed home. Maybe Momma and I wouldn’t have died if I had stayed home. The mud was so hard to walk through it took me longer than I expected to go to town and back. I wanted to let the Sheriff know about the threats James Butler had made last night. I knew something was wrong when the house was dark. Momma always had a light shining for me. I found Momma dead. James Butler had raped and beaten her. He said he was going to do to the same to me. I fought him and ran out the door. If only I could have gotten to the Peterson’s place. He caught me down by the river. I fought him off again but there was nowhere to run. He had me trapped. The river was swollen because of all the rain we were having. I’m so sorry Momma. I wish I could have saved you. I can’t let him do to me what he did to you. May god have mercy on my soul. I would rather face death than have his hands on me. He said I didn’t have a choice but I did. I chose the river.
May 23, 1919
Today would have been my eighteenth birthday. I don’t know where I’ve been for the last month. I know I died. I watched as they buried my beautiful Momma next to Da. At least they are together. I saw the volunteers looking for my body. I called and called to them but no one ever turned around. I knew I was dead when I tried to stop Mr. Peterson. My hand went right through him and I saw him shudder. It is strange to know you are dead and can do nothing about it. I feel so alone. Is this the price I must pay for taking my own life? Oh, Momma and Da, I miss you so much.
Oklahoma Press
Wednesday, April 12, 1919
Mother and Daughter Killed by Local Man
The body of a local woman, Maureen O’Donnell, was found beaten and strangled to death. Her daughter, Lily O’Donnell, has not been found but is presumed dead. Lily O’Donnell had gone to the local sheriff complaining of threats made by James Butler, a local farmer. It is suspected Butler killed the mother before attacking the daughter and tossing her body in the local river swollen from the recent rains. Law enforcement officials have arrested Butler after he confessed during a drunken rage. Volunteers continue to search the river for Ms. O’Donnell’s body. Burial for her mother will be at the Oak Grove Cemetery in the year of our Lord, April 25, 1919 at 2:00 p.m.
Ethan’s hands and voice were shaking so bad he had to stop. He looked at the obituary and newspaper article Lily had placed in the journal. He lifted tortured eyes to his brothers as he handed it to them.
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Is it possible?” Allen asked shakily. “This is crazy.”
Caleb didn’t say anything he still held the picture of Lily with her parents. The girl in the picture could have been Lily’s twin.
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There’s more.” Ethan said quietly. Ethan read entry after entry recorded for almost a hundred years. Lily talked about how there were times she just seemed to float through years without really existing. She knew everything that was going on, she was just more of an observer than a participant. It seemed only when someone called out for help that she existed in the physical plane. Each time, once the person or family had been helped she would ‘die’ again. She had appeared this time when she heard Maggie’s call for help. Her last entry was dated Thanksgiving morning.
November 24, 2010
I spent the day yesterday with Helen. I was so confused and needed someone to talk too. I have never felt the way I do about anyone the way I do about Ethan, Caleb, and Allen. It hurt so much them not talking to me. I didn’t know what to do. I love them with all my heart but I know I won’t be here much longer. Already they are healing and won’t need me. I shouldn’t let them fall in love with me knowing our time will be so short. I remember the pain of losing Momma and Da. I can’t imagine surviving the lost of someone who is the other half of me. Allen told me he loved me. What will happen when I ‘die’ again? I have no control over it. I needed help and Helen gave me so much more. She made me realize there were no guarantees in life and I should grab what I can and hold on to it as long as I can. It was funny all the things I was supposed to help Ethan, Caleb, and Allen with were things I had problems with as well. Ethan had trouble enjoying the simple things in life. He was always so worried about everyone else he forgot about himself. I realized I had done the same thing. Before, I worried about Momma, then all the other families I had to help. I’ve decided if I am to help Ethan than I had to realize I needed to help myself. I plan on grabbing hold of life and living it to the fullest every day I am given with my men. Like Caleb, I bottled up my emotions, holding them inside me where they ate away at me. Never again will I hold back. Last night I let my men know I loved them with everything I was. I wanted to scream to the world I loved them all. My last challenge was Allen. My beloved Allen. Like him, I had given up on life. He showed me how much I had to live for. His love broke the wall I had surrounded myself with. For the first time, I want to fight to have a life. To love and be loved. Momma, I wish I could tell you I have found a love like you had with Da. I love my men so very much. If I am given a short time with them so be it. I would rather have had the chance to love them than to have never loved at all. Your faithful daughter, Lily.
Ethan closed the journal. All three of them sat quietly reflecting on what they had just discovered. They had learned things about Lily they had never expected. Ethan ran his hands over the cover.
Lily had woken as Ethan had begun reading some of her newer entries. She knew they had her journal. A single tear tracked down the side of her face as she listened to her struggle and subsequent discovery of accepting her unconditional love for them. Would they feel the same now they knew what she was? Who she was? Would they want to be with her knowing her time with them would be short? A second tear slid down her cheek then another and another until uncontrollable sobs shook her fragile body. Her grief could no longer be contained and she sobbed out all her years of loneliness, pain, and fear.
Strong arms wrapped themselves around her shaking shoulders. Lily felt Caleb’s arms as they held her close to his chest. She turned her face into his soft shirt absorbing his strength.
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Hush, Lily. It will be all right, baby. You’ll see. It will be alright.” Caleb said as he ran his hands over her hair.
Lily felt the bed dip next to her and felt more hands on her. Running over her hair, her shoulders, her arms. Turning tear-filled eyes toward the three men sitting on the bed next to her, Lily whispered softly. “I love you all so much.”
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Lily, it doesn’t change anything. You’re still ours.” Ethan said quietly.
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We love you, Lily. No matter what, we love you.” Allen said gently.
Lily turned to look up at Caleb. “Caleb?” Lily looked up uncertainly at Caleb.
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I love you, Lily. Always.” Caleb’s arms tightened around Lily and he buried his face in her hair. He shuddered. “I thought we had lost you.”
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I did too for a little while.” Lily said softly. “What happened? I don’t remember very much after I fell through the ice.” She shivered again. She didn’t know if she would ever feel warm again.
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Allen and I had made it to the other side of the bridge. We were going to attack the man who took you from both sides right before he drove off it. When we saw your body falling from the bridge…,” Caleb stopped and took a deep breath, “we should beat your ass for that little stunt.”
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Who took you, Lily? Did you know him?” Allen asked. “I couldn’t get a good look at him.”
Lily shook her head. She was about to answer when a soft knock sounded on the door. Ethan got up and opened it. Matt stood outside the door. “Is she awake?” He asked quietly. Ethan nodded and opened the door further.
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Lily, this is Matt Holden, he’s the sheriff for Boulder Flats.” Ethan said. “He needs to ask you some questions.”
Lily held the Sheriff’s gaze for a moment before nodding. “Okay.” She couldn’t help searching for Allen’s and Caleb’s hands. She needed them close. She watched as Ethan walked over to the chair by the window and casually slid the journal out of view.
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Lily, can you tell us anything about the man who abducted you?” Matt asked.