Lily: Captive to the Dark (25 page)

“Come, baby. You deserve it.”

Lily’s fingers dove between her legs and seconds of teasing herself sent her body jerking with spasms. I continued the thrusts with both my finger and the toy while she moaned through her orgasm. My cock jerked repeatedly, begging to take her. Fuck, I wanted her worse than I could ever remember.

“So beautiful,” I said, nipping her leg.

I stood, turning the water to as hot as it would go and washing the toy. The moment I laid it down, I adjusted the warmth and washed my hands before reaching down and pulling Lily into my arms. Her weight fell into me so trustingly and I gripped the hip I held to, along with the outside of her shoulder. The squeeze had her smiling up at me.

“I liked that.”

“Me, too.” I kissed her forehead, stepping us back into the water. I hated that we’d probably be leaving in the morning. All I wanted to do was spend every moment with my slave. But I had to do what was right. She wasn’t okay. Not really. I could pretend all day that these were just dreams and they’d pass in time, but if I wanted Lilian at her best, she had to release and cope with what happened. Until she did, she’d continue to be unstable. I couldn’t allow that to happen. I loved her too much not to give her the ultimate protection. Even if it was from her own mind.

Chapter 31

Lily

“Will you train again?” Zain glanced away from the TV to look at me.

My laughter died off from the stand-up comedian’s joke and my smile faded as I took in his question. I knew what he was referring to when he said
train
. It was all the martial arts I’d learned. “I have to get better at self-defense. The confidence will help. It’ll make me stronger. I need that right now.”

He nodded. “I want to watch, if you don’t mind.”

Zain watch me get my ass beat and handed to me every day? My trainer didn’t take it easy and he put everything into making me the best I could possibly be. I should have never quit when I did. I’d just felt so damn strong. I needed that back.

“You promise not to interfere?”

There was a slight tremble in my voice. He was my Master and I was basically telling him to butt out, but I couldn’t go without this. I needed to learn more if I was going to get my nightmares to subside and the fear to fade.

“Maybe. Depends on if he teaches you well enough.”

Zain turned over in bed toward me and I followed suit, facing him.

“And if he doesn’t?” I asked, smiling.

“Then I take over and kick his beefy ass out the door. I’ve seen your trainer, Lilian. He’s lucky he kept his hands to himself before. Let him slip once. I’ll have him in a submission hold so fast, he’ll pray I don’t make the wrong move and snap his neck.”

My lips separated. “Jesus. Well, you don’t have to worry about that. He doesn’t like women. You really think my brother would let someone that close to me if he had to worry about something happening?”

“No. But you never know.”

“I do, and Chuck isn’t interested. Trust me.” I laughed at the teasing smile he cast. The happy sigh couldn’t be held in as we kept each other’s stare. Damn, I didn’t want this to end. I was praying the nightmares held off for at least another few nights. I just doubted I was that lucky.

Zain licked his lips and reached forward, tracing his finger down my nose and across my lips. “I can’t get over how lucky I am. You’re so gorgeous, especially in moments like this.”

“I’m not sure how you can say that. I’m still all bruised up. And they’re at their ugliest now.” The yellow outlines that were beginning to take over looked awful. Make-up did an okay job of hiding it, but it was only going to get worse before they were gone completely.

“You’re beautiful to me, no matter what. I think I could stay like this, just as we are, for the rest of my life and never feel happier.”

My mouth twisted and his eyebrow cocked at my expression.

“You’d be happier if you could be yourself. Will you please tell me more about your secrets? What are you hiding? What is it that you want to do to me that you feel would be so bad?”

A groan came from his mouth and he rolled to his back. “Slave, drop it. We have the rest of our lives to dabble with the dark. Maybe we’ll never even experience it at full force. Let’s just let it go for now, okay?”

“I don’t want to,” I whispered. “I feel like this is important to you. It’s part of who you are. If I hadn’t already seen what you’re capable of, maybe I could have looked the other way, but you’ve gotten really…intense with me before. It’s killing me knowing that you’re ignoring what you want because of me.”

“You want to know?” He sat back up. “What happens when I tell you? What if it pushes you further away from me? Disgusts you? Don’t you feel like if I just did it, you’d get to experience it for yourself? Maybe do something you may have never done had I not told beforehand?”

He did have a point. What if hearing it was different than actually doing it? “I can’t believe anything you’d tell me would make me not want to at least try. I love you. I think I’d do anything you found pleasure in.”

A laugh came from his mouth and he fell back to the bed. I pushed up to a sitting position to look down at him. “What? I’m serious. I happen to think I’m pretty open-minded. Just tell me so I can let it sink in and we can build on this.”

“Okay.” Zain lifted, resting his back on the pillow he fixed to lean against the headboard. “You remember when I had you outside of my building? What I did to you?”

Lust exploded within, making my belly clench. I shifted on the bed. “I remember.”

“And in my penthouse against the glass?”

“Yes.” My body was humming just thinking about how he took what he wanted from me. I may have pretended to fight and sometimes it was genuine, but I’d wanted him all the same.

Zain’s hand reached out, cupping my breast through the silk pajama set I wore. “That’s a little of what I like, baby. Dirty, dark, I’ll-take-you-wherever-and-whenever-I-want-whether-you-like-it-or-not, hardcore fucking. Things that are so wrong, they’re right. Do you understand what I mean when I say that?”

My head shook, hoping he’d continue.

“You worry about work. About what I’ll do when we’re there together. And you should. There won’t be a single desk in that building that won’t be christened with our come by the time we’re finally said and done at Slade Industries. Not a single one. It’s wrong, but I want it.”

No words came as I stared at him in shock.

“That’s just the overall picture though. What you’re neglecting to see is how you’ll be while you’re being forced to obey. There won’t be enough tears left once I get done stripping you down and gagging you with my cock. When I feel you’ve earned some hardcore dick…well, I’ll give it to you the way I like the best, brutally, and maybe even in your ass. You’ll be lucky to walk. And no, I’m not saying that because I think it sounds hot. Baby, you really might not be able to take actual steps. You have yet to see my true colors. I long to rough you up, to bite and draw blood, bruise…” he trailed off. “Plus, more. We’re not there yet and we may never be. You may think you can handle it, but those are just words. To say them is one thing. To experience them is quite another.”

As I let his confession sink in, I stayed quiet, resting my head on his stomach while he played with my hair. Was this something he needed all the time? Or just on occasion? I was pretty sure I could handle it. He’d turned me on before when he’d taken me. I’d tried my best to fight off my attraction to him, yet what he’d done had made it impossible. And I was confident he wouldn’t seriously hurt me. I trusted him.

“I think I can do it.” I turned, looking up at him. The suspicion was there. He wasn’t so sure. I swallowed hard, willing the words that would help me try to convince him, to come. “I know I’m not necessarily okay. I won’t deny that the nightmares scare me. But you don’t. I don’t feel anything we do will trigger my dreams to become worse.”

A finger pressed against my lips, silencing me.

“I’m not risking it. You can try to convince me all you want, but as your Master and the man who loves you, I’m refusing to go ahead with this until I know you’re better. I’ll still train you, but I will not put your state of mind at risk. I won’t.”

There was no convincing him. I knew that in my soul. I’d have to not push and focus on getting better so he’d see I was ready. Zain would know how far to go and how hard to push the boundaries. My guess was that it wouldn’t be much further than he already had.

“There’s something else we need to talk about. It has to do with living arrangements.”

I felt myself perk up, excitement nearly leaving my heart breaking through my chest. Living arrangements…I only wished he’d asked me to move in with him. I knew Slade wouldn’t approve and Zain wasn’t going to rush, but the hope of it happening was still there.

“Living arrangements?” I tried to keep my voice calm, but my eagerness slipped in.

Zain paused and his eyebrows furrowed. Any happiness over the situation faded away. This wasn’t good, I could feel it.

“What?” I sat up, fisting the blanket.

“I’m going to need to start looking for a place when we get back. I can’t stay in my old one. It might put me further away from you. Not too far, but not across the street.”

Anxiety spiked and I tried to rein it in. I’d accepted him not being there because I figured he’d be close. But if he wasn’t…
Stop this, Lilian. You’re a damn grown woman. Independent, remember? You can do this.
So, why didn’t I feel like I could?

“How far?” My voice rose in pitch and I lowered my head, trying to slow the shakiness taking over.

“A few blocks. Maybe a mile. Nothing too far. Hey,” he pushed his finger under my chin, making me meet his stare. “You have nothing to worry about. I can run a mile in five minutes if I have to. Probably faster, concerning you. All it will take is a call and I’m there. Now, instead of looking at the negative, focus on the positive. I’m going to need someone to help me choose a place they wouldn’t mind maybe staying at occasionally. And, I’ll need help fixing it up. You know, the whole woman’s touch and all.”

I couldn’t stop the smile from resurfacing. “You’ll let me decorate your place?”

“I’ll even let you pick the bed sheets. I can handle flowers, let’s just avoid the bright neon colors.”

“No hot pink?” I pouted my lip, playfully, and he laughed, cupping the back of my neck and drawing me in close.

“Only if you beg. Then I might reconsider.”

His lips pressed against mine. The tug against my bottom one sent a moan slipping though. “Oh, I’ll beg,” I breathed out. “I’ll beg all night long.”

“Better start now. I don’t really care for hot pink. It’s going to take a lot of convincing.”

I knew we were both playing. Truthfully, I didn’t care for a hot pink comforter set either, but it would be funny to watch him come home to find his bedroom done in nothing short of a teenage girl who’d went neon-crazy with his least favorite color. It would give us something to laugh about. Something we could look back on and tease each other over.

“Oh, please, Master. Let me have it. I’ll do anything.”

“Anything?” His tone deepened and the vision of sheets and covers disappeared. I knew nothing but going into slave mode. In the place that made me happy. Submitting was something I wanted. No,
needed
to do for him. It was the only state of mind where I felt the happiest. Where I felt at home.

“Yes, Master.”

“Good. You can prove it here shortly.”

Zain’s expression grew serious while both of his hands came up and held each side of my face. No words. Just staring into the depths of my eyes. It was almost impossible to meet his gaze for more than a few seconds. My pulse was racing, my breathing turned shallow. Sweat collected on my skin and the intimidation, the domination, was so thick, it had me desperate to lower out of respect. I knew my place and there was nothing more I wanted than to get there to please him. It had always been like that. Now, it was so naturally coming back and I didn’t want to ever let it go.

“The next few months are going to very trying for you, slave. But they’re also going to be full of change and surprises. Do you like surprises?”

There went that thing in my chest that only seemed to beat for him. The speed appeared to stop, only to slam harder, keeping a steady pace at all the things he could be insinuating. “I do.”

“Good. One may be coming very soon. Focus on that when your mind starts to wander. Even when you sleep, think about all the things I have planned for us. We may have come here so you could make a decision, but there’s not one to be made. Is there, Lilian? You want to be with me, not matter what. Am I right?”

I took his words seriously and knew my answer immediately. “Yes, Master. No matter what.”

A smile came to his face and he lifted my hand, kissing my palm. “Then, come tomorrow, we let the surprises begin.”

Chapter 32

Zain

I couldn’t remember the last time I sported a black eye. Maybe it was in my youth during all my training or possibly in my early teens, but I couldn’t recall. Between Lily and me, we looked like quite the pair. And she wasn’t half as amused as I was.

The nightmare we both knew would come, did. But not with the initial screams like I expected. The first cry I thought would wake me, didn’t. Her punch did, though. The lights that exploded behind my lids caught me off-guard and I dove toward the one place my instincts told me it had come from. It took me all of a split second to place the soft cries of the woman I had pinned down. My attack had awoken her, leaving my startled slave fighting even more for her life in the pitch black. I was able to calm her down with my voice, but once I turned on the lights, she broke before me. Had it not been for the mirror within my view, I wouldn’t have known why. The swelling was already becoming evident and it didn’t take long for the dark bruising to set in. But it wasn’t all bad. It was only in the corner of my eye, closest to my nose. I knew it wouldn’t take long to fade, but even now, as we were about to land at her building, she still had that apologetic expression on her face.

“It’s fine,” I mouthed.

The tears welled in her eyes and she shook her head, looking out toward the roof. The moment we were out and heading for the door, I pulled her close, whispering in her ear. “It really is okay. You didn’t mean to.”

“I’m out of control. I can’t stand this.”

The door open and Brace’s smile turned into a confused stare as we swept past. Lilian kept her head down, hugging her arms around her stomach as we came up on Marcio sitting at the entrance.

“What the hell happened to you?” He stood from the table, intercepting the door to get ready to hold it open. At the shake of my head, he glanced at Lily and turned the knob, allowing us in. Both Slade and Mary stopped eating at our arrival.

“Grab a…chair.” Slade pressed his lips together, but picked up his fork and continued eating.

“Ugh, just say it. Or ask.” Lily broke free and headed to the table, sitting on the other side of him. I took my seat, too, glancing at the food resting in the middle. The buffet style breakfast wasn’t appealing after the sizeable one I’d eaten this morning. Lily had barely touched her food, she was so upset.

“You do that?” Slade asked, nodding toward me.

“Yes,” she whispered. “But not on purpose. It was an accident.”

Mary grabbed a biscuit, tearing off pieces as she stared between Slade and Lily. They seemed to have some unspoken conversation going on. Even I was getting curious about what they were thinking.

“Your appointment is at four. You know Dr. Klauson is probably going to put you back on your meds, right?”

“Yep. I figured as much.” Lily stabbed her fork into some watermelon, placing it on her plate. “Did you get ahold of Chuck?”

Slade took a drink of orange juice. “Two o’clock.”

A nearly silent laugh shook Lilian’s chest. “Very strategic of you to put him before the doctor.”

Slade smiled, looking down at his plate. “I figured if he wore you out enough you wouldn’t argue with her orders.”

“Very smart of you. I hate meds. They make me feel out of it. I don’t like not having control over my own thoughts.”

Slade peered up from his eggs. “But they helped with the dreams, didn’t they?”

She shook her head. “Not always. Sometimes they just knocked me out so hard, I couldn’t wake up from them. I’d almost prefer not to be stuck in my own personal hell.”

The room got silent and I reached over, placing her hair over her shoulder so I could see her downcast face.

“Just try them out for a few weeks and see if it helps this time.” My voice had her looking over and nodding. The heaviness in the room seemed to lift after that and Lily turned to Mary.

“You look like you’re feeling better.”

Blonde hair cascaded over her shoulder and she smiled as she drew in another bite of her breakfast. “My doctor put me on medication, too. But mine’s for the nausea. It’s working wonders.”

“She hasn’t stopped eating since she’s taken it,” Slade rushed in. “I had to order everything on the menu because she couldn’t make up her mind.” The teasing smile had her blushing, but it didn’t stop him from nudging her small plate of fruit closer. The adoration he had on his face was as clear as day. And the dark circles were gone. Apparently, he’d finally gotten some sleep.

“Slade just knew you two would be here and he wanted to make sure you both ate before he started in with his plan.” Mary raised an eyebrow at him before turning back to her plate. I felt my back stiffen as he shot his wife a look that almost said she’d spoiled some underlying secret.

Lily shifted in her chair, obviously picking up what I had. “What plan?”

“Not a plan,” Slade ground out. “It’s more…errands, if anything.”

“Errands?” I asked. “What sort of errands?”

The impatience was there. He was hiding something.

“You know, just the regular stuff.”

“Slade?” Lily cocked her head to the side. “You’re up to no good. I know you.”

“Bullshit.” He shook his head. “Fine, if you want to know, Brace told me Zain mentioned he was ditching the place across the street. I figured I’d help him relocate, being the generous brother that I am.”

She shook her head. “Now I’m calling bullshit. You never do anything without it benefitting you in some way. What are you up to?”

“Nothing. I have a friend in real estate. There are a few rentals I thought I’d take Zain to look at while you’re preparing for your appointments.” He walked over, picked up some papers, and handed them to me before returning to his seat. “Larry is meeting us in an hour, so we should probably be leaving soon.”

My eyes scanned over the first paper, stopping at the price. I immediately shot my gaze up to him. The stare that met me was a hard one. One that I hadn’t seen on his face before. I flipped to the second home. The third.

“Not going to work,” I said, flatly.

“I think it does.” Not once did he turn his attention away from me. Slowly, my head shook and I looked back down. Did he not hear what I said when I went into his office that day? If I wanted to be filthy rich, I would have taken my father’s funds before I offed him. I didn’t want dirty money. I hated that what I had in my account was tainted with bad deeds.

Again, I shook my head. “No. Unless you’re telling me that an entry-level employee can afford a ten thousand a month rental payment, I can’t go look at these homes.”

Slade’s jaw tightened and I let Lily take the papers from my hand.

“Petaluma!” Her head spun to her brother. “That’s a good hour commute, at least.” She flipped the paper. “Novato. Berkley. Freaking, Half Moon Bay? You can’t seriously think he’d want to live that far away.”

“It’s a beautiful area. I doubt Zain would mind the drive.”

A smile pulled at the corner of my mouth. I may have played into his rules concerning Lily, but I wasn’t going to let him push me around. “No. I’ll stay in the city and find something I can afford. That is, if you still want to hire me. If not, just let me know now. I can easily put in applications while I go house hunting.”

“With your fake name, Mr. Collins? Or is it, Cook? Which one are you going to choose?”

My eyes narrowed and I held my clenched fists in my lap. Whatever the hell was going on, I didn’t like it. What had happened to the sincere man I’d spoken to on the phone? The one that was grateful to me for bringing his sister back?

“I have a reason to know if you’re going to want to be with my sister,” he went on. “I mean, at least give me that if you won’t take me up on the house listings.”

Lily’s fingertips were white as she pressed them into the table. My hand settled on her thigh and I leaned in closer toward him…and her. “Collins will do just fine. I appreciate you going out of your way to get me a place, but with Lily’s nightmares, I’ll be staying close.”

“Very close,” she stressed. “Besides,
I’m
helping Zain pick out a place. And I’m decorating.” The smile she threw off had me mirroring it. “Now, if you’ll excuse us, we’ll be taking care of that now before Chuck arrives.”

I stood and she followed. An array of expressions played across Slade’s face before annoyance took the prominent role. Whatever he was up to, I wasn’t sure I wanted to find out. It didn’t look good and I didn’t want things to go south now that we were almost to where we needed to be. And I’d be damned if he tried to keep me away from her now.

The sound of Lily’s heels clicked against the floor while we headed for the entrance. Slade’s voice boomed from behind.

“Be careful and take Marcio with you. We don’t know if it’s safe yet.”

Was that his problem? He didn’t want Lily around me in public because he feared something bad was going to happen again? I calmed the earlier anger and nodded.

He had every right to worry. After all, I still hadn’t taken care of my other family.

We shut the door behind us and found Marcio already waiting. Apparently, he’d heard Slade’s yell.

“Where we going?”

All three of us loaded into the elevator car and Lily pushed the button to the garage. “We’re going to find Zain a house. And we’re taking my car.”

Marcio cursed but stayed quiet until we came to a four door Jetta. And not a new one. My eyes cut over to Marcio, who was laughing under his breath.

“What in the world do we have here?”

Lilian climbed in, leaning over to unlock the passenger door. The smile she wore radiated and in that moment, I couldn’t remember being happier. My slave was dressed to kill, sitting in a car worth less than the fancy half-trench that covered her.

“My first car. I couldn’t bear getting rid of it. It’s great, right?”

“Perfect.” And I couldn’t have been speaking more of the truth. This was what I had wanted when I dreamed of my future with Lily. Real. Simple. Happy.

She turned over the engine, and surprisingly, it started.

“The guards use it on occasion when they’re…doing whatever they do,” she said, as if reading my mind. Her eyes peered back at Marcio, but he kept quiet. “So, I have a few good ideas on where we could drive. Most of the owners stick signs in the windows. Maybe we’ll get lucky.”

“I like that idea.”

We left the garage and headed away from downtown. I manually rolled down the window, letting the cool air fill my lungs. A few streets went by when she took a left, heading up a steep hill. Like a rollercoaster, we went through the motions, weaving through numerous tight knit streets until my hand shot up and I jerked forward, flying into the safety belt.

“There’s one!” Lilian had already slammed on the brakes and I shook my head, trying to calm my rapidly beating pulse. Son of a bitch, she’d caught me off guard. A car honked behind us but she didn’t pay it any mind as she pulled over and wedged between two parked cars. I turned to look at Marcio, whose eyes were wide. I was betting he was going to put on his seat belt the next time we started going.

Lilian pushed the car door open and climbed out. I was quickly behind her, barely making it out before she started walking around and heading toward the front door. All the homes were set up against each other, displaying the same black iron handrail going up the stairs in front of each one.

“I like it.” She headed closer and I took out my phone, punching in the number.

“It’s…bright orange.”

Her giggle was swept away by the wind. “It’ll go great with the new bedroom set.” Dark hair swung over her shoulders as she spun in my direction. “Let’s get it. Slade’s penthouse is close enough.”

“We haven’t even seen the inside,” I said, lowly. “It might already be leased.” At the sad look, I hit the number. Jesus, this woman was going to be the death of me.
Bright ass orange house, a
neon bedroom set, if she had her way, and beautiful eyes that could make me care less about any of that.

A man’s voice came though and I sighed, glancing over to Marcio, who was leaning against the car.

“Hi, I’m calling about the house you have for lease.” I turned toward the intersecting road to see where we were when the phone disconnected. I pulled it back and looked at my screen to make sure I’d wasn’t imagining it. “What the—”

The door to the next house over opened. “It’s still available. You interested?”

Shit. That could be good and bad. My landlord living next door. Tough call, but it wasn’t like I really had anything to hide. Not anymore. I was just a regular man who would have a regular job. Maybe it wasn’t so bad. Orange was an okay color.

“Hi, yes. I’m very interested. Is there any way we could see inside?”

“It’s two bedrooms. Are you the couple and he your roommate?”

The man nodded toward Marcio and Lily laughed. “Oh, no, sir. We’re a couple, yes, but Marcio is just my cousin. We won’t be living with Zain. I’ll just be staying over on occasion.”

A nod was thrown our way as the landlord hobbled down the stairs, favoring his left side heavily on the cane. Keys jingled as he pulled them out and walked up the stairs to the rental.