Lily and the Beast 2 (7 page)

This was such a bad idea. 

At first Aidan had thought he was hallucinating when he’d looked up and seen Lily kneeling so sweetly submissive before the fire.  He’d tried everything to distract himself from the black cloud of despair that threatened to swallow him whole and never let him go again, but nothing worked.  He’d already read the same chapter twice, but he couldn’t stop thinking about their last conversation. 

Had she really wanted to stay with him, or was it a combination of fear for her father and pity for him?  How could someone so sweet and lovely want a beast like him?  Aidan knew he didn’t deserve her, didn’t deserve the second chance at happiness after how he’d fucked over the first one.  But still, he wanted it to be Lily kneeling there, he wanted it so badly, that’s how he’d known it couldn’t possibly be real.  And then she’d spoken, and equal parts of excitement and dread had taken hold of his gut, leaving him incapable of speech. 

It was a bad idea, but Aidan hadn’t been able to resist the lure of her all wrapped up like a gift for him, in cuffs and collar no less.  Her voice was like a siren’s song, drawing him near, luring him to ruin.  She was so beautiful, the way her head bent in graceful submission.  She’d dressed up for him, in shiny leather that made his cock stand at attention.  Who the fuck was he to reject such a miracle?

“Blindfold me if you have to, but I want this.  I want you, Aidan,” she tempted him, and he hadn’t been able to resist the lure of that freckle behind her ear, the one that drove him absolutely, fucking crazy.  

He was weak, but she tasted so fucking good, it’d taken all his strength not to bend her over and bury himself deep inside her that instant.  Aidan had to have her, even if it was only for one last time.  

“Keep your eyes closed,” he whispered, teeth catching her earlobe for a single, sharp bite, and he loved the way she trembled as she nodded.  “Stand up.”

Lily rose with fluid grace, lips parting in anticipation.  The urge to taste those lips swept over him, and Aidan broke one of his own rules, devouring her mouth with a groan of pure delight.  Her lips were soft and warm, and so fucking eager as she devoured him right back.  He crushed her to him, pulling her softness close as he tried to feel her everywhere at once.  Lily came alive in his arms, forgetting to be submissive, her hands tangling in his hair as she pressed up against him, and he fucking loved it. 

Walking her back to the bed, he tumbled her down upon the mattress, barely breaking contact with her mouth in the process.  His book thudded to the floor as he slid in next to her, but Aidan didn’t give a damn.  Nothing mattered but the feel of her yielding body beneath him and the murmurs of need she made that drove him wild. 

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d lost himself in the heat of a woman’s mouth, and unable to help himself, he kept kissing her, burying his hands in her hair.  Pinning her hips beneath his, he ground his cock into her mound, and she made the softest purr of satisfaction that made him do it again, and again. 

They lay there, making out, rubbing up against each other like a couple of teenagers.  He couldn’t get enough of that sweet mouth, discovering a new world of delights with every lick and stroke of her tongue. 
Fuck
, he was gonna come in his pants if she kept it up, and he couldn’t help the worry in the back of his mind that at any moment she’d open her eyes and realize what she was doing – or who she was doing it with. 

Even though he loved the way her fingers tugged at his hair, he pulled her hands free, holding them above her head on the pillow as he pinned her hips to the bed with his.  “Lie still,” he ordered.  She settled beneath him instantly, and his cock gave another twitch of approval at how quickly she obeyed him.  Lily made a soft sound of loss as he rolled off of her, and he added another command.  “Quiet.”

Her lips pressed together meekly, but he had to take control, and this was the only way he knew how.  Her hips came up automatically when he peeled the tiny shorts from her body, and he had to smile over how eager she was.  “Good girl,” he praised, grinning when her lips curved in a satisfied smile.  The bra came next, even though he loved the sight of her in it, he wanted nothing between them, not even the sexy garter and stockings.  She didn’t need any of those stage dressings. 

Lily remained pliant and cooperative as he undressed her, and when the last stocking was removed, her knees fell open, revealing her juicy folds just waiting for his touch.  God, how he wanted to plunge into her slick heat and lose himself again and again, but he couldn’t risk it yet, he had to maintain control.  If she saw him, even accidentally, then the spell would be broken and the magic would be lost.  Even as that thought terrified him, he felt the perverse need to tempt fate and trust her. 

Not that he hadn’t enjoyed the way she used them, but he linked her wrists together above her head.  Reaching for another carabiner, he clipped her ankles tightly together, drawing the pucker of a frown to her forehead, but she remained silent. 

“You don’t like this?” he prompted, and Lily gave a hesitant response. 

“I’d rather have you chain them apart.”

“Oh, you would, would you?” he chuckled.  “And why is that?”

“So you can fuck me.”

His lips pursed at such a request.  He liked it when her sweet mouth said something dirty.  “Oh, I’ll be fucking you, peaches.  Don’t you worry about that.  All in good time.”

“Yes, Aidan,” she whispered, her breath coming faster in anticipation.  He loved it when she said his name like that, and he was glad he’d never gotten around to training her to call him sir or master.

“You want me to fuck you then?”  Prying her knees apart, he stroked her lightly, tracing the honeyed lips, but staying clear of her clit for the moment.

“Yes, Aidan.”

“Do you think you deserve my cock?”

Her knees tipped a bit wider.  “Yes.” 

“Even though you disobeyed me and entered my room without permission?” 

Her brows twitched closer.  “Only because I didn’t want to leave you.”

“And you think you know better than I do?”

“About this I do.” 

She had a fair point, and he rewarded her with a single rub over her clit before trailing lower again.  “So you don’t think you deserve any punishment?”

“I…”  Lily licked her lips.  “Well, maybe…”

Oh really?  So she wanted him to punish her, did she?  “I don’t have any vibrators in here.”

Her tongue darted out again to lick her lips and Aidan barely resisted the urge to dive after it.  “Whatever you think I deserve, you’re in control.”

“You’re goddamn right I am,” he rumbled, pinching her clit until she squirmed.  “So if I wanted to turn you over and fuck you hard and not let you come…”

“Yes, whatever you say,” she panted. 

“And if I wanted to hook your ankles over my shoulders and tongue fuck you…”

Lily let out a ragged moan, her hips bucking, even though he was nowhere near her clit.  “You keep talking like that and I’m gonna come right here.”

Aidan ground the heel of his hand into her mound.  “Don’t you dare,” he warned.  “I’m the one who decides when you’ll come, do you understand?”

Her face twisted in distress.  “What if I can’t help it?”

“Then I’ll punish you again until you learn to control yourself.”

She squirmed.  “That’s not helping.” 

Christ, could he make her come with his words alone?  Aidan was almost tempted to try it, but the temptation of fucking her was too strong.  “You’re a horny little thing, aren’t you?” 

“You’re the one who stripped me and put me on your bed,” she pouted prettily.

“No more talking or I’ll have to find another use for that mouth.”

“I’d be happy to suck your cock.” 

That eager look on her face almost made him laugh out loud, and Aidan bit his lip.  When the hell had he lost control of the scene?  “Quiet or I’ll gag you.”  He made his voice stern, taking his hands off of her and her lips instantly mashed together again.  “Time to take your punishment.” 

Turning Lily over, he positioned himself behind her, his legs straddling hers.  With her legs linked together and her ass in the air, she was exquisitely tight as he pushed inside her wet heat, the position allowing him to go deep.  Aidan held still for a long moment, relishing the perfect fit.  He reached around and grabbed a handful of her breasts, kneading and stroking, pinching and rolling the nipple between his fingers until she moaned with delight. 

Her hips pressed back subtly, urging him to move, and he slapped her ass, just enough to sting, not to mark her delectable skin.  “Hold still,” he barked, as she squirmed.  The freckle on her neck teased him, and he scraped his teeth over it as he bucked up into her.  “I could eat you up,” he rumbled against her skin, amused by the way her head tilted to give him better access. 

“You were a bad girl coming in here,” he said, delivering another smack, this time to her other asscheek.  Lily whimpered, but didn’t cry out, and he rewarded her with a gentle massage.  “Weren’t you?”

“Yes,” she squeaked and he delivered another slap, hips pumping into her as her ass turned a pretty shade of pink. 

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, I was bad, very bad,” she said on a ragged moan as his cock stroked her deep.

Enjoying the way she clenched around his cock when he smacked her ass, Aidan continued the spanking, careful not to lay into her too many times in the same spot.  Lily panted and moaned with every slap, and she was so fucking wet, it dripped down her leg.  He dipped his fingers in her pussy juice and circled them around the tight rosebud winking up at him. 

“Are you going to do it again?” he demanded.

“Yes… no?  Shit… I don’t know the right answer, but please don’t send me away again!”

Her desperate plea tore at his heart, and Aidan stopped the spanking, instead stroking her heated flesh with nothing but tenderness as he surged into her.  But the way her face pressed into the pillow reminded him of when she’d passed out the night before, and he pulled out.  Lily gave a cry of disappointment at his withdrawal, but didn’t fight him as he flipped her onto her back.  The second he unlinked her ankle cuffs, her legs spread wide to accept him.

Still up on his knees, he towered over her, his cock throbbing in time with his heart, desperate to be inside her again.  Grabbing her hips, Aidan pulled her forward until he buried himself deep with a moan of satisfaction. 
Fuck
… this was where he belonged.  Her cuffed wrists had fallen back over her head, and her hands grasped at the pillows in time to his thrusts, her back arching up off the bed, tits pointed to the sky. 

Aidan liked Lily better without the blindfold, he could read how every stroke and thrust affected her on her expressive face.  But still, that fear nagged at him.  “Don’t look at me,” he whispered in reminder and she nodded, her breath coming faster as he reached down to rub her clit in time to his strokes. 

Her body was strung tight.  “Please…” she breathed.

“Please what?”

“Please, Aidan.  Let me come, or stop torturing me like that.”  Her pussy clenched around him, squirming away from his touch.

“I think you like this kind of torture,” he grinned in satisfaction, rubbing the tiny nub harder and faster, unrelenting. 

“Fuck!  Yes, I like it too much,” she panted, her head thrashing from side to side as she tried to fight it. 

“I like it too.  Too fucking much.”  Aidan shifted above her, driving her deep into the mattress as his hips bucked out of control, his chest sliding against hers.  “Come for me, Lily.  Only for me.”  Her mouth tipped up to his, reaching, straining, her eyes pinched obediently shut.  Aidan guided her lips to his in time to catch her cry of ecstasy when she clenched around him in release. 

Lily was everything a woman should be and more – and she was his.  Aidan emptied himself into her with a guttural cry, and collapsed on top of her, his perfect cheek pressed against hers as he remembered how to breathe again.  It’d never been like this before.  Not with any of the other subs, definitely not with Felice, and he felt a pang of betrayal to her memory in that realization.  Aidan pushed those thoughts away, chasing after the slice of paradise before it faded completely away.

He moved to pull away, and her linked arms wrapped around his neck, holding him close.  “Lily…” he breathed into her neck, feeling her heart jack hammering beneath his.  “I’m crushing you.”

“I don’t care,” she whispered.  “It’s totally worth it.”

“You might think so, but I’d rather not have you smother to death in my bed,” Aidan chuckled, pulling out carefully and rolling to his side.  Immediately, he hauled Lily up against him, her back pressed to his front, instantly feeling safer in that position.  His chin settled on the top of her head, ensuring that she couldn’t see him even if she tried, and he relaxed, gently stroking the underside of her breasts.  Her heart beat fast and hard under his hand, and neither of them spoke, a drowsy cloud of satisfaction descending over them.  

I drowsed for a bit, feeling warm and safe in Aidan’s arms.  My wrists still had the cuffs on them, but he’d unpinned them so I could rest more comfortably.  He must’ve turned off the bedside lamp at some point, as the only light in the room came from the flickering fire light.  I thought maybe he’d drifted off too, but I realized his arm wrapped around my middle wasn’t completely relaxed, holding some of his weight off of me. 

“It’s okay, you can relax your arm,” I said, nudging it lightly with my elbow.  The only response I got was for him to wrap it tighter around me, pulling me flush against the strong planes of his chest.  I laid my arm on top of his, following the veins in his hand with lazy strokes. 

“Why did you stay?” he asked, his voice rumbling through his chest into me.

“After you asked me so nicely to leave?” I smiled.  “I guess I have a masochistic streak.”

Aidan let out a snort.  “That’s a good one.  You cried wolf after one serious spanking.”

“I know.”

“No really.  Why did you come up here after I let you out of the contract?  You missed my cock that much?”

He was only half right.  “That, and because I love you.”  And I knew when he didn’t return the sentiment that I’d been right – I
was
a masochist to fall for a guy who might never say it back.  It was okay, I hadn’t expected him to, I just wanted to put it out there.

Aidan was silent for a few minutes, and I thought maybe I’d been wrong.  Maybe he was looking for the right words to say what he was feeling.  Instead, he slid his hand down to cup my mound, pulling me tighter against him.

“That makes you pretty fucked up, you know that?”

A month ago and I would’ve slapped his face for saying something like that (or maybe not, because I would’ve been too chicken to hit him), but I understood Aidan better now.  He wasn’t upset that I’d said I loved him, he still held me close – if anything, he’d snuggled closer. 

“I guess so,” I allowed.  “No more fucked up than you though.  At least I know what I want.”

“That’s true,” he chuckled, the sound tickling my ears.  “For the record, I know what I want.”  His arm tightened around me.  “It’s just not a good idea.”

“What is, us?”  Was this over before it’d even really begun?

“You saw what I am,” he said matter-of-factly.

“And you don’t see me running away screaming, do you?”

“That’s because I shackled your legs together,” he pointed out in a smirking tone, reaching to unbuckle the cuffs from my wrists, as if he’d just remembered I still had them on.  “Hold still,” he added, bending to undo the ones on my ankles before settling back on the bed.  This time he pulled me into his chest, facing him, his chin still above my head so I couldn’t see his face.  It was the most intimacy he’d allowed so far, and I looked my fill of the crisp blonde hairs on his chest, and the impressive swell of muscles under his velvety skin.  His hand caressed my back in light circles, and I did the same over his chest, tracing them wider and wider and back again to a pinpoint. 

“Can I ask you a question?” I risked, figuring this was my best chance at getting an honest answer. 

“What if I said no?”

“I’d probably ask you anyway.”

“No discipline,” he said with a dramatic sigh, giving my ass a squeeze.  “We’re really going to have to work on that.”

“Only if we’re in a scene.  We’re not in a scene right now, are we?”

“No,” he allowed, kissing the top of my head.  “No, we’re not.”

I smiled against his chest.  That had to make what we had special, right?  No contractual obligations between us, just Aidan and me and the firelight.  “So can I?” I prompted.

“Just ask the damn question,” he growled, but there was no real bite to his voice. 

I took a deep breath, prepared to do some fast talking if he took this the wrong way.  “If it bothers you so much, why not have the scar removed?”

His hand stilled on my back, and I steeled myself for his blistering words, but his voice was calm when he replied.  “I don’t deserve to have it removed.”

What did that mean?  “You know that’s stupid, right?” I frowned, and his grip on me tightened. 

“Careful,” he warned.

“I’m sorry, but you know what I mean. There’s nothing you could’ve possibly done to deserve this.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I know what happened to you.  It was a freak accident, nothing more.”

His chest bobbed higher as he took in a deep breath.  “Maybe I deserve to be as much of a freak on the outside as I am on the inside.”

Where was all this shame coming from?  Shit, he had worse self esteem than a girl.  Did he really believe he deserved to be scarred for life because of his penchant for kink?  What the hell did one have to do with the other?  “There’s a flaw in your logic, you know.”

“I can’t wait to hear this.  Tell me, Dr. Lily, how am I flawed?”  

I ignored the thick sarcasm, struggling to resist the urge to sit up and look at him.  “So basically, you’re saying I deserve a huge bodily scar too?  I’ve been doing the same stuff you have.”

“Just because you went along with what I made you do doesn’t mean you’re depraved.  It means you’re eager to please – which I appreciate, by the way.”

“Ah, there’s nothing that’s happened between us that I haven’t loved.  There’s nothing wrong with a little kink.”

“Sure, if it’s for fun or experimentation.”

“I don’t understand.  What’s the difference?”

He hesitated a few moments before he answered, his words coming slow.  “I… need this.  Need it deep down.  I need to control people, I crave it.”

God, he made it sound like he needed to bathe in the blood of young virgins to get off.  What was the big deal?  It wasn’t like he’d done anything to hurt me.  “So?  What harm is there if you find another consenting adult to do it with?  Not that I’m saying you should find another one.  That’s one thing I’m not up for.  Sharing.”

That made him chuckle.  “Are you the jealous type?”

“I belong to you, right?”

“Yes.  You’re mine.”  His hand rubbed up and down my back in a soothing manner.

“Then you’re mine too.  Not the same way, but you’re still mine.”

“I think I like the sound of that.”  He sounded surprised. 

“So we can agree that you’re making me happy, not forcing me to do anything I don’t want to do.  You deserve happiness too.”

“No, you don’t get it.”

“Then make me understand.  Please.”  If he wasn’t willing to accept the possibility of happiness with me, there was no chance of a future between us.

“I killed her.”

My mouth popped open in shock.  “Who, Felice?  The article said she died in a car wreck, and Mrs. Fisk said you weren’t even in the same car with her.”

“I’m going to have to have a vigorous talk with Mrs. Fisk about speaking out of turn.”

I couldn’t tell if he was joking or not, but it sure wasn’t the time or place for that tangent.  “Oh, for the love of… would you please leave her out of this for now?  What do you mean, you killed Felice?”

“She had no business being on the road that night.  I shouldn’t have let her go.”

“You didn’t force her to get behind the wheel of the car.”

“The hell I didn’t,” he snapped.  “She’d been drinking, I had too, but I was still in control.” 

“You can’t blame yourself for not stopping her from drunk driving.  She’s the one who made the choice, not you.”

“I can if I’m the one who sent her running into the night to get away from me.”

There was so much anguish in his voice, even after all those years, I was almost afraid to ask.  “What happened?”

The anguish dissipated as he spoke again, sounding cold and distant.  “Like you said, there’s nothing wrong with a little kink between consenting adults.  Only Felice… she wasn’t consenting.”

“Oh my God.  You didn’t… you didn’t force her to…”

“No!” Aidan exclaimed when he clued into how I’d taken it.  “But… I got her drunk on purpose, trying to lower her inhibitions.  I knew she wasn’t into it, and I tried to get her to go along with it anyway.  I didn’t force her, but I forced the issue, hoping she’d open her mind and try something new.  But Felice, she didn’t want to have anything to do with it.  She said I was sick and needed help.”  He took another deep breath.  “I got mad, I said some ugly things.” 

“Like what?”

“I called her a frigid bitch who couldn’t suck cock to save her life.”

“Yep, that would’ve done it,” I muttered, starting to get the big picture.  I could see how he felt responsible, but to carry her death for all those years, to deliberately remove himself from any kind of happiness himself – he was the masochist, not me. 

“I know… like I said, I’d been drinking, and my self control was shot to shit.” 

“No, it wasn’t though,” I insisted, wishing I could look him in the eye.  Having the conversation with his chest was maddening.  “You didn’t force her to do anything she didn’t want to.  The two of you were engaged, and sex is a pretty big part of marriage.  You had to talk about it at some point.” 

“What I should’ve done was kept my fucking mouth shut and found a way to satisfy those sick urges on the side.”

“Oh sure, because that’s what a wife prefers,” I scowled.  Did he really think that would’ve made it better?

“It’s what she wanted.  She told me I’d better not ever bother her with that kind of twisted shit again, and as long as I kept her in the dark about it, she’d try to find some way to accept me as her husband.  I told her… I told her that if she couldn’t make an effort to satisfy me, she should just get the fuck out.  And she did.” 

The silence stretched between us again as I digested the tragic story and he relived it.  “You had an argument and you said some shitty things.  That doesn’t mean you killed her.  You didn’t know she’d crash her car,” I said softly.  “And you tried to save her life.”

“Fat lot of good it did.  She was already dead the moment she hit that barn – trying to get away from me.  I’m living the life I deserve, trust me.”

“Okay then,
I
deserve happiness,” I declared suddenly, deciding to switch tacks. 

His arms tightened around me, his chin resting atop my head before he let me go.  “Yes.  Which is why you should leave and never look back.”

“You’re the one who makes me happy, dumbass.  If I deserve to be happy, then you should be working your ass off to make me that way.  Have you ever thought of that?”  I steeled myself for the rebuke for insulting him, but he just sounded dumbfounded. 

“You can honestly say I make you happy after everything I’ve told you?”

“I’m saying you’ve earned a shot to try.  That’s all any of us can do, isn’t it?”

“Then that’s what you want us to do?  Try?”

“If you want to.  If you can’t at least try, then… yeah, I should go now before I get in any deeper.”

He was quiet for long seconds, no longer holding or touching me beyond where I lay on him.  This was it.  I’d given him an ultimatum, and the guy obviously didn’t deal well with them.  Shit.  I’d blown it. 

“And what would make you happy right now?”

Besides you telling me that you love me and feel stupid for ever letting me go?
  I squelched that thought, trying to come up with something he was actually capable of giving at the moment.  “Right now I’d settle for a kiss.” 

“Yes, mistress,” he purred, and I barely had time to squeeze my eyes shut again before he rolled me onto my back and claimed my mouth in a hungry kiss.  My heart swelled with happiness that he was willing to try – and oh, how he tried!  Aidan being Aidan, he didn’t stop with a kiss on the lips.  He didn’t stop until I was weak and panting, having come hard against his mouth, screaming his name.  I didn’t need the blindfold to keep from seeing, I was so deliciously wrung out, I couldn’t have opened my eyes if I wanted to. 

When I could breathe semi-normally again, I stroked his head, which still rested between my thighs.  “That was some kiss.”

“Don’t you forget it,” he said, his voice smug with male pride as he kissed my belly on the way back up my body. 

I thought for sure he’d ask me to reciprocate, and I fully intended to, just as soon as I could move my arms and legs again.  Instead he scooped me back up into his arms, tucking me into his chest.  I settled for kissing his nipple, my tongue running over the flat nub.  “Thank you for trying,” I whispered.

“I’d say I fucking succeeded,” he chuckled. 

“You sure did,” I admitted, loving the sound of his low laugh.  “Can I see you?”

He instantly stiffened beneath me – and not in a good way.  “No.”

“Okay, I’m sorry,” I apologized quickly.  He was going to have to let me see him at some point if I was going to keep living with him in such close quarters.  Or was he planning on kicking me back into my own room?  “Can I stay in here with you tonight?”

“Only if you stop talking,” he sighed, sounding annoyed, but his arm wrapped around me tighter.