Lillian's Light Horseman (11 page)

“You weren’t to know that my father was lying, William. We were adolescents and I was too young to be married without my parents’ permission. There was nothing that you could have done. My father manipulated the situation to serve him and his future plans. I knew that he was capable of deceit and immoral acts. The years before his death showed me exactly how unscrupulous he could be. But I would never have believed him capable of hurting
me
for monetary gain!”

William’s heart wrenched at the tears that were flowing freely down Lillian’s cheeks. He couldn’t begin to understand how she must be feeling at the full realization of her father’s depravity. He stood and moved to sit beside her on the bed.

“Come here,” he ordered softly and pulled her onto his lap. “It’s done now. Let’s leave the past in the past and focus on the future.” He rocked her gently in his arms.

Slowly, her tears abated and he felt her start to relax against him. Exhaustion over the day’s events had finally taken its toll and she’d fallen asleep. He held her closely for a few minutes, not wanting to wake her. When he was sure that she was in a deep slumber, he lifted her gently and placed her back on the bed. He drew the covers up to her neck and tucked her in securely, placing a kiss on her forehead.

Taking the lamp, he left Lillian’s bedroom and made his way to his own. A sudden weariness overwhelmed him. He needed to sleep on everything that had occurred that day and he was sure that a way ahead for them would present itself to him in the morning.

There was one thing on which he had no doubts—he wouldn’t allow Lillian to leave him again.

Chapter Twelve

When Lillian awoke, the sun shining brightly in her bedroom told her it was much later than she usually arose. She checked the bedside clock and was startled to find that it was just past ten a.m.

As she struggled to wake fully, the events of the previous day crowded her foggy mind until sudden comprehension had her instantly alert. Through all the events and emotions that had unfolded, she felt as if she’d lived an entire lifetime in the span of twenty-four hours. She couldn’t quite believe she’d experienced so many intense reactions—fear, panic, lust, love and sorrow—in such a short period of time.

She recalled making love with William and her body tingled deliciously. Never had her immature fantasies come close to touching on the reality of what she’d experienced with William. She blushed fiercely, remembering what it felt like to have his mouth on her—everywhere. She couldn’t believe that she’d done those things—and enjoyed them.

Too quickly, her thoughts turned to William’s proclamation that he’d felt ashamed and it was as though a bucket of cold water had been poured over her. Of course he was ashamed. She shouldn’t have acted like she had—wanton and immoral. It was little wonder that he regretted what they’d done. Worse still, she had no idea how she should behave around him from this point forward and that made her nervous. She was so inexperienced with the act of lovemaking that she was clueless about his expectations and their current relationship status.

Her thoughts then brought her full circle to what her father had done to them all those years ago and a fresh wave of pain stabbed her. She understood that her father had always been somewhat disreputable, but the things she’d discovered since his death had her realizing that she hadn’t really known him at all.

A soft knock on her door startled her out of her reverie and she turned to see Mrs. Thompson bustling into her room bearing a tray laden with tea and bread.

Lillian sat up quickly and shuffled back to rest against the headboard. “Mrs. Thompson, please, you don’t have to do this,” she said in embarrassment. “I’m quite capable of coming to the kitchen. In fact, I should have been up and about hours ago.”

“Nonsense,” the older woman declared and placed the tray on Lillian’s lap. “After the ordeal you had yesterday, you must rest. You could have caught your death out there in the cold.” She reached across to lay a hand on Lillian’s forehead.

“I’m quite well,” Lillian assured her. “Just a little tired.”

“It’s no wonder. Now I want you to stay put and eat something. Food will do you a world of good.”

“But the children—”

“The children are fine. At the moment, they’re in my kitchen helping me bake bread and scones and having a world of fun doing it,” she said with a laugh. “Take your time. Eat something and join us downstairs when you’re ready.”

With the conversation obviously over, Mrs. Thompson bustled back out of the room, leaving Lillian to her breakfast.

Lillian smiled to herself as she poured some tea and buttered a slice of freshly baked bread. For so long she’d looked after other people—her mother when she was sick, to a certain extent her father, then, after him, her dear aunt. It was nice to be looked after for a change, even if only for a little while. She still felt guilty about being in bed when everyone else was up and about, but she consoled herself with the thought that the longer she stayed in her room, the longer she could put off seeing William and delay what was sure to be an uncomfortable encounter.

She was finishing her breakfast and preparing to face the day ahead when she was startled by a sharp rap on the door. Before she could say anything, the man whom she’d so recently been distressing over strode casually into the room. Her breath hitched and her heart rate beat in double time when she took in his magnificent physique. He was dressed in fitted jodhpurs and a blue cotton shirt that stretched across the hard muscles of his chest and shoulders.

Nerves and a rippling current of desire had her hands trembling as she placed the breakfast tray on her bedside table. She sat back in bed and trained her eyes on her lap, trying to regulate her breathing.

“How are you this morning, Lilly?” he asked.

His deep voice washed over her like a sensuous caress, pebbling her nipples and sending shivers rippling down her spine.

“I’m very well,” she muttered, still averting her eyes. She felt him move closer to the bed and she stiffened in alarm. She had no idea how to behave after the intimacy between them the previous evening and a deep flush suffused her cheeks.

She heard William drag a chair closer to her bedside and settle himself into it, but still she refused to look at him.

Moments passed in silence, making the air between them heavy and awkward. Lillian picked nervously at a stray thread on her counterpane as she waited for William to say something. When he did, it was so sudden and harsh that it took her breath away.

“Look at me, Lillian!” he demanded.

She snapped her head up and her eyes shot to his in surprise.

“Are you
that
ashamed of what happened between us last night?” he asked, his eyes narrowed.

“N-no,” she said breathlessly. “A little embarrassed perhaps. It was very”—she waved a hand in the air, searching desperately for the right word—“intimate.”

Her face flushed hotly at the admission. She hadn’t ever expected to
talk
about what they’d shared, but obviously, William had other ideas. She dropped her head once more to stare at her clasped hands.

William cupped her chin and tilted her head up so that she was looking into his eyes.

“There is nothing to be embarrassed about, Lilly. If anyone is to be embarrassed, it should be me. I shouldn’t have lost control. I shouldn’t have taken you like that. I can’t regret it, however. You’ve been in my dreams for a long time and last night I selfishly took what I’ve so long desired.”

Her breath caught in her throat. “I thought that you were ashamed of what we did—of me.”

He sucked in a sharp breath and his eyes glinted dangerously.

“Don’t ever think that,” he bit out. “I’ve wanted you for as long as I can remember. I would
never
feel ashamed of you. I’m ashamed of myself for not taking more care.”

He was still grasping her chin, refusing to allow her to look away from him.

“When are your courses due?” he asked quietly.

If Lillian had felt embarrassment before, she now felt acute mortification. Her body trembled with the sensation and she flushed a deep scarlet.

“P-pardon me?”

“I realize that the question seems…indelicate, but I need to know,” he said gently.

Sudden realization dawned and she was astounded that she hadn’t thought of the possibility herself.

“They’ve just passed—one week ago,” she whispered.

He breathed a sigh of relief and finally released her. “It’s not infallible, of course, but chances are that we’re safe.”

She nodded numbly, not really sure herself about the possibility of pregnancy, and wondered idly how William was so knowledgeable.

“Are you very sore?”

Oh Lord, can he be any more personal?

“A little, but nothing that I cannot bear,” she answered and looked once more to her lap.

“Good. Although I’d like to check for myself,” he stated in a matter-of-fact tone.

Lillian’s eyes shot once more to his and opened wide in astonishment. Just when she had thought he couldn’t possibly embarrass her further, he amazed her with this scandalous request. She could only stare at him mutely as words failed her.

He stood, strode to the door and locked it before returning to her bedside and whipping down her covers.

“William!” she cried, finally finding her voice. “What are you doing?”

“I told you, Lilly, that I want to check you myself. I saw the blood streaking your thighs last night and I’d like to reassure myself that I didn’t injure you. Remember also that I’m responsible for you. Until last night, it was the responsibility of an employer to an employee,” he said quietly. “Now it extends to the responsibility of a lover. When I took your virginity, I also took accountability. Now we can do this the easy way, or the hard way,” he finished, furnishing her with a long look.

Lillian stared at him in dismay and realized he was completely serious. She shuffled down until she was lying flat on the bed, ensuring that her long nightgown continued to cover her modestly. When she was fully prone, she lay stiffly and stared up at him, waiting for whatever William had in store for her.

He chuckled and clucked his tongue. “So shy, my darling. You know that I will need to lift this lovely nightgown?”

She nodded, blushed and cursed inwardly at her inability to face anything remotely embarrassing without flushing cheeks. As if reading her thoughts, he smiled and kneeled bedside the bed.

“I love that you blush so easily. Your innocence disarms me. How did you remain so untouched and unsullied in light of your father’s debauchery?”

It was a rhetorical question, so she remained silent while he continued to study her.

“Lie across the bed, facing me.”

She sat up and scooted sideways so that she was lying across the width of the single bed with her legs dangling awkwardly off the side.

He grasped each of her ankles and lifted them so her feet were flat on the mattress and her legs bent at the knee. He gripped her hips and tugged her down until her backside rested on the edge of the bed. It was an alarmingly vulnerable position and she tensed uneasily.

“Just relax, my sweet,” he whispered, drawing her nightgown up her thighs until it was bunched around her waist.

She could feel his breath whisper against her inner thigh as he leaned closer. Her nipples puckered and her breathing hitched, desire flaring low in her belly. She recognized the feeling now, the clenching of her internal muscles and a light, quivering sensation in her loins that signaled her longing for something more. She couldn’t quite believe that laid bare as she was, exposed and vulnerable, her desire outweighed any embarrassment.

She felt William’s warm hands on her inner thighs where he gently caressed her before nudging her legs farther apart.

Dampness flowed between her thighs, warm and moist, and she tried unsuccessfully to close them.

William hissed a breath between his teeth. “You are so wet, my love,” he rasped, gently stroking his fingers through her damp folds.

She couldn’t see his face when he bent to examine her, using his fingers to sift through the furrows of her sex. She held her breath as his caresses sent sharp quivers of desire straight to her core. Her face flushed and her breathing grew ragged. She wriggled under his administrations.

“Stay still,” he ordered, gripping her hip with his right hand. “I’m not finished.”

She stilled and worked to regulate her breathing as he recommenced his explorations between her legs. His fingers entered her and she gasped, more tender than she’d initially thought. His delving produced a slight twinge of discomfort.

“Does that hurt?” he asked huskily, pushing his finger deeper inside.

“A little,” she breathed and tried not to tense.

“Hmm.” He withdrew his finger and circled her clitoris slowly. “I might have to kiss it better.”

Lillian whimpered involuntarily. She recalled what he’d done to her with his mouth the previous evening and the memory sent more flutters erupting wildly in her belly.

“Does that please you, my sweet?” he asked, continuing to circle her clitoris with his finger and slowly working her into a delirium of building sensation.

“Oh, yes,” she whispered, rocking her hips in rhythm with his rotating finger.

“You are so moist and swollen with desire, Lilly. I can tell that you need me to make it better. Would you like that, my love? Would you like me to ease the ache?”

His voice had grown deep and rough. He continued to massage her sex, intensifying the throbbing of her internal muscles to desperate proportions.

“Please, William,” she begged, understanding that only he had the power to relieve the pressure building inside her.

She watched him under lowered lids as he gazed at her intently, studying her face and the effect that his ministrations were having on her. He smiled, a slow, mischievous curl of his lips. “You are far too tender for penetration, but perhaps a massage?” He dipped his head between her legs.

Lillian gasped, feeling his lips on the inside of her thigh. He kissed a slow trail north, grasping her knees to keep her legs parted widely.