Lilac Avenue (38 page)

“I was glad to help,” Melissa said. “That’s the happiest I ever seen your mama. She didn’t have a cross word to say to nobody this morning.”

Kay came over to the table with Sal Delvecchio.
Sal was a tiny man, with a deeply wrinkled face, a gray paleness and the sunken eyes and cheeks of a serious illness. Over his shoulder hung a canister of oxygen attached by a long tube to a canula in his nose. Scott jumped up and pulled out a chair so the older man could sit.

When Kay hugged Scott
, there were tears in her eyes.

“I am so happy for you
two,” she said. “I feel like God has blessed you both today.”

“Thank you,” Scott said.
“I’m so glad you could be here.”

“Don’t ever forget,” Sal said, although it was a laborious process for him to speak. “Happy wife, happy life.”

“I won’t,” Scott said, and shook his hand.

“We have a present for you,” Kay said. “The city council had an emergency meeting yesterday, and they unanimously voted for you to have a month off with pay so you can take a honeymoon.”

“What!” Maggie said.

“Really?” Scott said.

“About damn time,” Patrick said.

Melissa elbowed him.

“As a reward for your many years of dedicated service for low pay and very little time off,” Kay said. “I felt so bad that we couldn’t give you more time off when your mother was ill. It is the least we can do, and we’re glad to do it.”

“Who are you going to get to cover for me?”

“Chief Purcell,” Kay said. “It works out perfectly. He has a month before he starts in Pendleton, so he can cover for you until you get back.”

“Why is he leaving Familysburg?” Maggie asked. “His dad was the chief there for a billion years.”

“I’m surprised you haven’t heard about it,” Kay said. “During this happy occasion, let’s just say it’s a family matter, and that he’s leaving for personal reasons.”

“You know all about it, don’t you?” Maggie said to Scott.

“He called me when he resigned,” Scott said. “I told him I’d keep it in confidence.”

“Thank you, Kay, Sal,” Maggie said. “Although what I’ll do with him underfoot for a month, and how we’ll keep him from bugging Chief Purcell to death, I don’t know.”

“No need,” Sal said, as he pulled some keys out of his pocket, and with a trembling hand, gave them to Scott. “Be my guest.”

He waved at Kay to explain while he sat back and caught his breath.

“Sal and Antonia have a condo in Myrtle Beach,” Kay said. “They want you to stay there for the month and have a real honeymoon.”

Melissa clapped her hands and Patrick said, “Sweet.”

“You’re kidding me,” Maggie said. “Not really.”

“Yes, really,” Kay said. “You must leave tomorrow, and you are not to step one foot back in Rose Hill for thirty days or I will have Chief Purcell arrest you both.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Scott said.

His heart felt as if it were
full to overflowing.

Kay hugged him again, and then hugged Maggie as well.

“We just love you two so much, and we’re so happy for you,” she said. “You deserve this honeymoon.”

Scott shook Sal’s hand and the older man gestured for him to come closer. Scott bent down and Sal said in his ear, “Remember, a happy wife means a happy life.”

“I won’t forget,” Scott said. “Thank you.”

Claire retrieved her handbag from the ladies’ lounge. Ed followed her to a quiet spot down at the end of a dark hallway near the Sunday school rooms. Claire’s heart was pounding as she unwrapped the test stick. She held her breath as she looked. It was negative. Tears sprang to her eyes. Up until that moment she hadn’t realized how much she wanted it to be positive.

“Aren’t you relieved?” Ed asked. “You seem kind of disappointed.”

“Upstairs, just a few minutes ago, I advised you to see me as I really am,” she said. “Now, here I am downstairs, wanting to hide things from you that aren’t flattering.”

“I think I understand,” Ed said. “Are you worried about fertility?”

“Please don’t ever use
that
word again,” Claire said.

“I’m sorry,” Ed said. “I’m out of my element here.”

“I thought my life was going to be like a movie. I’ve been looking for the perfect setting, the perfect leading man, and the perfect script. Meanwhile, it seems the theater may have fallen into disrepair.”

“I’m no expert,” Ed said. “But I do know Sam’s mother had him when she was well into her forties. He was a big surprise to them.”

“I know that, and there’s a chance I could be wrong about what’s going on with me,” she said. “And I am relieved. I wouldn’t want to be tied to the man who would have been the father.”

“Is he out of your movie?” Ed asked.

“Yes,” Claire said. “The script has evolved into more of a dramedy, and he is a little too Shakespeare-in-the-Park.”

“So this false alarm may have been a good thing,” Ed said. “It helped validate a feeling you were having about what you want and with whom you want it.”

“It’s scary being so honest,” she said.

“Scary feels just like excited,” Ed said. “It’s all in your perspective.”

They returned to the fellowship hall just as the song, “Irish Heartbeat,” by Van Morrison, began playing. Patrick, Hannah, Sam, Scott, and Maggie were all sitting at a table, loudly singing along, as if they had done so many times before. Hannah was sitting on Sam’s lap, Patrick had his arms around Melissa, and Scott was holding Maggie’s hand.

Looking at them, Claire was suddenly struck by the extent of her loss. She had missed out on so many things that her family and friends had done or gone through together; the good and the bad. These were the people she loved most in the world, and while they knew each other very well, they really didn’t know who she was beyond the nineteen-year-old Claire who left Rose Hill twenty years before, and the older version, who couldn’t be bothered to visit more than once every few years.

In her mind, she had kept them trapped in amber, which was both immature and unfair on her part. They were all fully grown adult people, molded by their experiences and their reactions to what life had handed them. Why be upset that they didn’t know what kind of music she liked to listen to, or who she had become, when it was her fault they didn’t get the chance to know?

“This is a good song for us to dance to,” Ed said, as he offered his hand to her.

“How come?”

“You need to stay a while with your own ones,” he said.

Claire accepted his proffered hand, and they danced; her hands on his shoulders, his arms around her waist, just like two kids at their senior prom. Claire was not feeling the way she thought she would at the celebration she had worked so hard to put together. She thought she should be thrilled it came off as well as it did, and be happy to sing along with the rest of them. Instead, she felt the same sort of melancholy she had felt many times before, when she was thousands of miles away from Rose Hill, lonely and miserable, in a foreign place.

“While I was away,” Claire said,
“I often felt homesick. Now that I’m home, why do I still feel that way?”

“
Saudade
,” Ed said. “It’s a Portuguese word for the deep longing you feel for something you can’t quite name. There’s also a German term,
Sehnsuch
, or you could use the Russian term
Toska
, which means deep spiritual anguish without a specific cause.”

“Do you ever feel that way?”

“Anytime I’m alone and start ruminating; I think most people do.”

“In other words, everyone feels this way,” Claire said. “Not just me.”

“Probably,” Ed said. “Although if you’ve lost something or someone you cared very much about, that would be a good reason. I used to think mine was about being abandoned by my mother, and then by Eve. Now I think it’s just part of being human; we all long for a feeling of belonging and being loved, and it’s impossible to feel that way every single moment.”

“I’d settle for one moment,” Claire said. “I’m not sure I’ve ever felt that way where it turned out to be true. Look at Maggie and Scott; they’re as meant to be together as anyone I know, but it will never be smooth sailing, even for them. I guess there is no perfect love.”

“Then here’s a good word for you,” Ed said. “
Wabi-Sabi
. It’s Japanese.”

“Sounds like a spicy drink,” Claire said. “What does it mean?”

“Finding beauty in imperfection.”

“You’re just a big ole bucket of nerdiness, aren’t you?”

“I prefer to think of myself as cerebrally well-endowed.”

“I always knew you were smart,” Claire said. “When we were growing up, if I had a vocabulary word to define, or an essay I
had to write, it was you I went to.”

“I like to collect words; untranslatable words, terms for groups of things. For instance, did you know a group of starlings is a ‘murmuration’?”

“That’s pretty,” Claire said. “Tell me another one.”

“A group of owls is a ‘parliament.’”

“I can see that,” Claire said. “Is there a word for the feeling that you may have waited too late to start living your ‘real’ life?”

“Hmmm,” Ed said. “The Germans ha
ve a term,
Torschlusspanik
, which may cover that. It’s the fear of diminishing opportunities as one ages.”

“Well, I’ve got panic all up in my torschluss,” Claire said. “Real bad.”

“I guess it’s worse for women, what with the biological aspect,” Ed said. “On behalf of my gender, I’d like to sincerely apologize for the inequities of life. I also want to reassure you that in no way would the term ‘diminishing’ be used in any description I might use for you. On the contrary, I would use words like ‘luminous,’ ‘captivating,’ and ‘resplendent.’”

“Most excellent apology accepted,” Claire said. “What’s the word for the feeling you get when you’re dancing with someone for the first time, maybe someone you’ve known forever, but it still feels like you’ve just met, and you’re looking forward to whatever happens next, as long as it involves that person
?”

“I don’t know,”
Ed said. “But I’ve got it, too.”

Claire let herself breathe in this moment, which felt pretty darn miraculous.

“We have danced together before, you know, at Homecoming,” Ed said. “The song was “All I Want is You” by U-2. I remember you wore Doc Martins and a very Goth dress.”

“Ugh, another of my unfortunate fashion choices,” Claire said. “I’ve purposely blocked out most of
my teenage years so I don’t have to remember what a mess I was.”

Just then Maggie pulled Claire away from Ed with a jerk.

“You’ll never guess what just happened,” Maggie said. “The city council, at the instigation of our good friend, Kay, just gave Scott four weeks off with pay to take a honeymoon.”

“That’s great news,” Claire said. “Where will you go?”

“I was just getting to that part,” Maggie said. “Sal Delvecchio has a condo in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, and he gave Scott the keys.”

“The Redneck Riviera,” Ed said. “Boy howdy.”

Maggie ignored Ed.

“That’s so wonderful,” Claire said. “When will you leave?”

“Tomorrow morning,” Maggie said. “I have to go home and pack.”

“What about the party at the Thorn?” Ed said. “You can’t miss that. Scooter Scoley and his band are going to play.”

“Help me, Claire,” Maggie said. “I don’t even own a suitcase.”

“Go,” Ed said to Claire. “I’ll see you at the party later.”

“The first thing you have to do is throw the bouquet,” Claire said to Maggie. “Do not put me in a position where I have to explain to your mother why you didn’t do a traditional leave-taking.”

Claire announced the happy couple was about to leave. Everyone assembled on the front steps of the church, leaving a narrow aisle for them to walk through. Hannah, Melissa, and Claire handed out little net bags of birdseed that Delia had stayed up late the night before
preparing. Once everyone was ready, Hannah held two fingers up to her mouth and whistled loudly. Maggie and Scott appeared at the top of the stairs in the doorway of the church.

“Get ready, girls,” Maggie said.

Hannah pushed Melissa and Claire out to the sidewalk, where they were joined by a few other single ladies. Maggie took one last look at where they were all standing, turned around, and flung the bouquet over her shoulder. The long satin ribbon fluttered behind it as the bouquet sailed through the air, bounced off several outstretched pairs of hands, none of which were Claire’s, and landed smack dab in Kay’s arms. Everyone laughed, and Kay offered the bouquet to the younger single ladies, but no one wanted a secondhand bouquet they didn’t catch fair and square.

“The bouquet
has spoken,” Maggie called out to Kay. “You’re next.”

Kay blushed and rolled her eyes.