Light (The Shadows Series) (4 page)

I can feel Theron’s muscles tense in my hold. I need to calm him down. “Robert, I’m okay. Theron’s okay. Please just go.” I nuzzle my face into Theron’s chest, breathing in deep. He always smells so incredible. Standing like this, with his arms around me, feels like home, despite the craziness still looming in the air. I feel Theron relax in my hold and I know that Robert has left. I start to move my hands up and down his back, but he pushes my arms away.

“Why would you do that?” I’m left standing cold and vulnerable in just a towel, as Theron turns away from me. Hissing through his teeth, he tries to roll his left shoulder. Why is he so hot headed?

“Theron, your shoulder! Did you hurt it? Let me see it, so I can check your stiches.”

“It’s fine. I’m fine. I don’t need to be inspected.”

“Do you love me?”

“Are we doing this right now?”

“Yes, we are doing this right now. Do you love me?”

He spins to face me, taking my hand in his. “Of course, I love you. I don’t have a choice. I was born to love you. I was made just for you. I have loved you since I was fourteen, and I’m never going to stop loving you. You’re the reason I breathe. The reason I live.” His thumb brushes over my skin, sending bolts of electricity coursing under it. “Do you love me?”

“Of course, I love you. I don’t have a choice. You’re my person, Theron. I was born to love you.”

“I’m your person?”

“Yes. Now, can I please look at your shoulder?” He doesn’t reply, but simply takes a seat on the edge of the bed. I crawl into his lap, straddling his waist. Pulling the collar of his shirt to the side, I inspect his sutures. They look red and angry, but they aren’t bleeding. I let out a sigh of relief, knowing that he didn’t tear any. Carefully fixing his shirt, I place a kiss softly on his shoulder. “You’re okay for the most part. It’s really red, but you aren’t bleeding.” He won’t look directly at me. I gently slip from Theron’s lap and take a step back.

He takes a deep breath, hanging his head. “I hurt you.”

“You did, but it doesn’t matter now. Let me get dressed and throw some clothes in a bag. Then, we can leave. Okay?”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea. I don’t foresee this getting any better. There’s a lot that needs to be dealt with. Are you sure you want to come with me?”

“We are both broken. You more so than me, but we are both broken. I’m not leaving you.”

“Thank fuck for that. I might be able to say, I can let you go, but I can’t do it. I just can’t. I need you.” 

Leaning down, I place a soft kiss on his cheek. “I know you do, and I need you.” I throw on a summer dress and slip my arms into a light button up sweater. I toss what clothes I can fit, plus some of my shower stuff into a bag. I’m so stretched between houses. I really need to gather my things, and just decide on a place. At this rate, I am going to end up losing everything. After a quick search of the house, I find my ballet flats in the kitchen by the front door. I slip them on and reach my hand out for, Theron. He holds my hand and carries my bag to the car.

“Can I drive?”

His question catches me off guard, and I stop to face him. “Yeah, sure. No problem.” It seems like an odd request, but I already feel like I’m walking on eggshells with him, so I toss him the keys.

“I just need to stop somewhere first. Is that okay?”

“It’s fine. You just threw me off for a second. Let’s go wherever you need to. I’m yours all day, and most likely for the next couple of days. I should at the least give Olivia a call over at the bookstore to let her know what’s going on.”

He nods his head and we both slide into the car. We drive for a few minutes, neither one of us talking. The air is thick with questions we both want to ask, but neither of us want to make the first move. We take a turn down a gravel road, marked private. I watch the trees pass by, as we drive slowly down the rocky path.

“Do you like it?”

“What?”

“The bookstore? Do you like working there?”

“I really do. I feel in my element there.”

“Good. That’s good.”

We pull up into what I think is a driveway, but I’m not sure. There’s not much of a house left. I can see some bricks left from the foundation, but what catches my eyes is the stone fireplace standing alone. Overgrown grass and tall, weeds surround its base, while vines crawl up it, reaching towards the sun. Theron, steps out of the car and walks closer to where the house once stood. I watch him, as he softly sits on the ground. His expressions change like the wind. Contentment, anger, and sadness all wash over his face. I hesitate for just a moment, before stepping out of the car, quietly shutting my door so I don’t disturb him. He watches me, as I approach him, his eyes never leaving me. I sit down on the grass beside him. I am quiet for a moment, as I pick a bright yellow dandelion growing beside me. It’s too bad the weed isn’t white and full of seeds, I could really use a wish right now. I spin it in my fingers, turning my head slowly to look at Theron. How can such a broken man make me feel so whole?

“Babe, where are we?”

He grabs a twig from the ground and starts drawing in the gravel at our feet. “This used to be my mom’s house. She grew up here. My grandparents died in a car accident a few years after my parents were married. They left my mom everything. The house was old, but it wasn’t completely run down. A little bit of love and hard work would have made it beautiful again.”

“What happened?” Pulling petals off the dandelion, I start chewing on my cheek. Theron, stares at the fireplace and suddenly I see a lost little boy, instead of a man.

“I was probably about seven or eight the last time my mom came here. She got into a fight with Thomas. He wanted to sell it because he felt she spent too much time here. The thing was she very rarely came here. She just wanted to hold onto it since it was all she had left of my grandparents.” Theron takes a long breath and scratches out his drawing in the dirt. “There was a beautiful flower garden that wrapped around the house. She would stop by to water it and take care of the weeds. Any time spent here was time spent away from Thomas. He already hated how much time she spent with me and the house proved to be an added distraction. He finally agreed not to sell it, since the house meant so much to her.”

“So, he just left it to rot?” I never understood Thomas’ jealousy of Theron, but to be jealous of a house seems insane.

“Sort of. A couple weeks later, the police informed my parents that someone burned down the house. They found an empty gasoline container and some rags, but there were no leads on who did it. My dad collected the insurance money, but never fixed the house. He kept the land, but that was it. I heard my mom crying one night, begging him to let her fix it. He told her there was no reason for her to go there ever again. He didn’t want her to become upset by the damage the fire had caused. When she argued, he told her it was easier to get rid of a house than a person. I don’t think she ever brought it up again.”

 “That’s just awful.”

 “This is why I brought you here. I wanted to show you what he is capable of. He won’t let anything stop him, and he will go to any means to get his way. He wants to destroy me. Right now, you are the only person I have left. You’re the only good thing that I have. He’s going to try to take you away from me again, and I’m afraid of what lengths he will go to. This is why I have to get to him first. I’m going to finish what Gram started and take everything away from him. I’m going to leave him so broken that he will never be able to get close to you or me again.” He breaks the stick in his hand in two. I’m not sure if it was intentional, but he looks at his hands, as if he didn’t know he broke it. Shrugging his shoulders, he tosses the sticks in the tall grass.

 I am not sure if his words should scare me or not, but all I feel his hatred for Thomas. “I get it.” Placing my hand on his knee, I look out at what’s left of the burnt remains. “I bet this place was beautiful.”

 “It was, especially the garden, but you’ve seen that.”

 “What?”

 “The garden was the only thing untouched by the fire. It was odd how only the house burnt, but the garden continued to thrive. I don’t think my mom ever knew the flowers made it through the fire. I used to sneak here when she was sick. My gram followed me here one day. I was sitting in between a bunch of Gladiolas, when I saw her walking up the path. She never asked me anything. She just sat down beside me and held my hand. I remember spending that day laying in the garden with her pointing out different shapes in the clouds. It’s one of my favorite memories.” A soft smile plays on his lips, as he looks towards the house. “That night after dinner, Gram took me with her into the library. It was our space. Thomas hated books. Anyways, she told me how she always wanted a garden. She asked me if she could move my garden my mom left me, to her house. The way she called it my garden, made me feel like I still had a piece of my mom left. A piece Thomas had no claim to. I agreed and she hired a landscape company. Of course she’s added to it over the years, but the flowers and the stones from my mom’s garden are still there.”

 “It’s beautiful.” I’m sure he knows, but I decide to tell him anyways. “Your gram loved you very much.”

 “Yeah.” Theron stands and brushes the dirt from his jeans. “On that note, we should go. Evan needs us.” He pulls me up from the ground and I follow him back to the car.

 It turns out that Theron’s mom’s house is really close to his gram’s. When we pull up to the circled drive, I notice Evan sitting outside on the steps. Theron helps me out of the car and keeps my hand clasped in his, as we walk towards the house. We stop at the steps and he drops my hand, taking a seat next to Evan. Running his hand through his hair, he looks over at Evan. “Have you been out here all night?”

 “No. A little. I didn’t know where to go. I came home and the house was just too empty without her here. I couldn’t handle it, Theron. Everywhere I looked I saw her face, her smile, and I swear I heard her laughter.” His shoulders heave, as he drops his head back into his hands. “I wasn’t there. Thomas, asked me to leave and I refused, but Isa told me to go. She said she would be okay. I stepped out for a minute and checked my email. The next thing I know, machines are alarming, and Thomas is being escorted out of her room. I could hear him screaming at her.”

A sob like I have never heard in my life, escapes Evan’s throat. It’s like I can physically hear his heart being torn apart. It’s awful. His body is violently shaking, as he cries. “I rushed back to her, but the nurses wouldn’t let me in. I just wanted to hold her hand, to let her know that I was close, and to let her know that I loved her. Eventually, the nurses moved and my sweet, Isa was laying peacefully. I grabbed her hand, and brushed her hair out of her face.” Theron’s face pales, as he wipes away the tears escaping his eyes. He gently wraps his arm around Evan’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Theron. I’m so sorry.” Evan cries as if he is begging for forgiveness.

“It’s okay. You didn’t know. I would have done the same. You only did what she asked.” He squeezes Evan shoulder, as an offer of comfort. I stand still with tears streaming down my face, as I watch them both break in front of me. Watching someone break is so surreal. Everything else fades, and I swear that if you look close enough, you can watch fragments from their soul dissipate into the air around them.

“It’s not okay! You don’t understand. I brushed her hair out of her face, so I could look into her beautiful bright green eyes. I wanted to see them shine back at me. I don’t know what I was looking for. Maybe it was hope that she was still here with me or that she would be okay? I don’t know, but I know I didn’t find it.” Evan pushes Theron’s hand off his shoulder, while tears stream down his face. “I watched her beautiful emerald eyes dull in front of me. I watched as the life left her eyes. All I could do was whisper, ‘I love you,’ over and over again. I don’t even know if she heard me. What if she didn’t hear me? What if she died thinking that she was all alone? I didn’t abandon her. Oh God! Why did I leave her?” Evan pushes himself up from the step and walks out towards the trees growing between the houses. Theron doesn’t follow him. He stares blankly out into the distance. At first, I thought he was staring at me, but his gaze is empty. He’s looking right through me.

I turn my head towards Evan, as I hear a loud bellow rip from his chest. My feet won’t move. I’m frozen still as I watch him pummel his fists into a tree. “Theron. Shit, Theron!” My voice snaps Theron back to reality. He follows my gaze and jumps to his feet.

“What the fuck? Evan, stop it!” He takes off towards the trees. I wish I could follow him, but my mind isn’t connecting my thoughts to my feet. Theron runs full force into Evan, knocking him away from the tree. “What the hell are you doing?”

Evan tries to throw a punch at Theron, but it’s messy and slow. He steps to the side, as Evan’s fist cuts through the air beside him, causing Evan to fall to his knees.

Theron lays his hands on Evan’s shoulder. “Stop, Evan. Please, stop.”

“I want to die.”

“I know.”

“I want to go with her.”

“I know. Eve, can you help?”

I nod my head and will my feet to move. The skin on Evan’s knuckles is ripped, bloody, and barely hanging on. His fists are raw. Kneeling down, I take my sweater off and wrap it around both of his hands. “Theron, we need to get him inside.”

“I don’t want to go in there. It’s full of her.” Evan’s voice breaks and once again he falls apart, but this time in my arms.