Light (31 page)

 ‘How?’

‘Hold up the crystal and I will do the
rest.  If he is free of the En Sof then we will bring him here where I can try
to undo the link between them.  Now go.’

‘But what if he isn’t free?’

‘Then you must not approach.  I will
bring you back and send you to the other presence.’

‘And if I find Jake or Cherry?’

‘Then I will pull them back with you. 
Go.  Do not delay.’

Fiona continued through the silent void,
comforted by the feeling that the Professor was but a thought away, and then,
way ahead there was movement.  Almost a shimmering in the nothingness that
surrounded her.  Was this the person who had been the focus of her journey or
(a dark thought came) was it something else?  Was the En Sof waiting for her in
this place where it could become real?

‘Hold up the crystal.’

She did so and stared into its glow.

Nothing seemed to be happening.

‘It is clear.  The En Sof is not in
this place.  For now you are safe.  Go and see what it is.’

Thank God.

Nothing changed as Fiona walked faster to
see what was ahead.  Soon it had taken on the form of a distant shadowy
figure.  A wraith almost but, as she looked down at herself, she knew that that
was how she now appeared.  So was it human or spirit?’

‘Hey, you.’

If it heard it made no show of it.

And she tried to increase her speed.

…………………………………

It was another ten minutes before a winded
Fiona finally came close enough to her quarry.  She called again and this time
the figure turned.  Mitch, thank Heavens.

He stopped and waited for her.

To see him again and to see him free of
the monster that possessed him.  It felt quite wonderful.  They could be
reunited at last and, if Jake survived, she would leave her husband for good.

‘Mitch.’

He held out his arms and Fiona rushed into
them.  She rejoiced as he picked her up.  She revelled as he smothered her in
kisses and twirled her about.  To see him again, to be held by him when she had
thought him lost for good

‘Fiona.  How in the name of Heaven did you
get here?’

‘Alex and the Professor sent me.  They
want me to get you back.’

‘No!’

‘But why?  Don’t you know what’s happening
to you?’

‘All I know is that your fucking husband
is here somewhere and he has what I want.’

‘But, Mitch?’

‘Listen, Fee.  I learnt a few things
before I came here but I know a lot more now.  There is a power available that
Alex Lapski is after.  Whoever wields that power becomes like God.  That wanker
you married is trying for it.  I want it.’

‘But, wait?  What do you want it for? 
What good will it do you?’

‘You ask me that?  You ask me that?  If I
gain the Light then I can do whatever I want, can’t you see?’

Mitch had changed.  She did not know
whether it was due to his exposure to the En Sof or whether she had been blind
to this side of him.  True, he had always been ambitious but, hungry for power,
with no thoughts for the consequences, surely not.  He sounded crazier than
Lapski and that was saying something.

‘But what about the En Sof?’

‘The what?’

‘The En Sof.  The creature that Alex
released.’

‘Oh, is that what it calls itself?  What
about it?  Once I have the Light I will be safe from it.  Don’t you worry your
pretty head about it.  This is what I’ve been waiting for all my life.’

She shook her head in disbelief.

‘The En Sof wants to destroy everything. 
If it succeeds nothing will be safe.  Not even you.  I’ve seen what it can do. 
Already it can play with your mind, make you see things the way it wants.  It’s
already tried to manipulate me and it has used Shmueli Isaacson to kill his own
parents.  Now you’re talking about letting that monster free.  What do you
think it will do?  You can’t believe for one moment that you’ll be able to keep
the Light can you?’

Mitch snorted derisively.

‘Is that what you think?  How little you
really know.’

‘Then, maybe you should tell me.’

‘There’s nothing to tell.  The En Sof
wants to live and I want power.  With that power I can protect myself.’

‘But, you don’t understand.’

‘Don’t understand what?  Stop babbling for
Christ sakes.’

‘The En Sof.  It has been possessing you.’

And to her horror Fiona saw that Mitch was
laughing.  There was something in his eyes, something malicious, something
evil, and Fiona knew that she was lost.  The Professor had been wrong.  Mitch
was still possessed and she drew away from him.

She looked again at the man whom she
thought she loved and knew there was one chance.  If he truly loved her (and
she knew he did) then maybe their love could break through the En Sof’s
control.

‘Listen to me, please,’ she began, ‘It’s
me Fiona.  I love you, you know that.  Let me help you fight the thing inside
you.’

‘The thing inside me.  There is no thing
inside me.  You bloody idiot.  How can you possibly even begin to help me?’

‘But, Mitch?’

‘Oh, don’t be so bloody pathetic, woman.’

‘Please Mitch, stay calm.  Let me contact
the Professor.  He’ll bring us home.’

He looked at her strangely, then,
quizzically even.

‘You can contact him?’

Thank God.  That seemed to pacify his
mood.  There was a chance after all.

‘Yes,’ she told him, ‘I have his crystal.’

Even as she produced the Odem she knew
that she had made a mistake.  The look on Mitch’s face had changed to one of
triumph and greed.  Somehow, she had played right into his hands.

She had to call on the Professor to help. 
He had to get her out of there.  She clenched the crystal.

‘Wait, Fee.  What the fuck are you doing?’
he said as he advanced upon her.

She did not dare tell him.

‘Listen to me.  I’m not possessed by the
En Sof, not any more.  I used to be but it released me.  You must believe me.’

But how could she know?  If he was
possessed this was exactly what the En Sof would make him say.

‘I don’t know, Mitch.  Stay back, please.’

‘I don’t know how to prove it to you so
hear me out, please.  I’ve made a deal with the creature.  It will give me
power if I help it.  Don’t you see, I can be a god if I want?’

Still, Fiona could not tell, but he
sounded rational and normal.  Could this be truly Mitch speaking?  If it was
then she had misjudged him utterly.  She had never seen this side of his
character before.

Maybe if he was rational she could try to
persuade him.

‘Oh Mitch, how can you trust that thing? 
It hates anything that lives.  If you do as it wants then it will use you and
destroy you like it destroys everything.’

‘You’re wrong.  I promise you.  Come with
me, Fee.  Let us be together in the new order.’

‘No.  It’s too dangerous...’

‘Then, sod you.  I’ll go on with you or
without you.  Now give me the crystal.’

‘No, I can’t.’

‘You little bitch,’ and with that he
produced his gun, ‘Give me the fucking thing will you?’

‘No, please.  If you’re not possessed how
can you do this to me?  You said you loved me.’

‘Loved you.  You’re a fool, you know.  I
never loved you.  I fancied you rotten, true, and you’re one of the best fucks
around but loved you, no way José.’

And then that was when Fiona understood. 
The bastard.

‘So you only went with me to get Jake’s
crystal.  I don’t believe you.’

‘Don’t you?  Tough.  But you’re right, you
know.  There was more to it than the crystal.  Maybe I should remind you.’

‘Remind me about what?’

‘Think back to when you were in college. 
Do you remember the party when you first met Jake?’

‘Yes, what of it?  Anyway, how do you know
about it?’

‘Because, you silly cow, I was there.’

And then it came to her.  Oh my God.  It
was so long ago and he had made so little impression at the time but she did
remember.

But that couldn’t be everything, surely
not.

‘I wanted you then, but it was Jake that
got you like he got everything.’

‘But you didn’t even know him.’

‘Think about it.  Why do you think I was
at the party?  I was at university with you both.  Like Jake I was also
studying journalism but I was a couple of years below him.  He never knew of
me, oh no, but I knew about him.  He was editor of the college newspaper and I
submitted stories to him.  They were rejected.  He was Captain of the rugger
team and I never got selected.  Look at me.  I’m built right, I’m strong but no
I was not good enough for Mr Wonderful.  He did not even know I existed. 
Everything I wanted to do, he did first.  He even managed to marry you.  Now do
you see?’

She did, but it was all a nonsense.  Mitch
had imagined a whole series of slights for which Jake had no direct
responsibility.  His jealousy had ended here with him holding a gun on her.

‘Then I met Lapski and he told me of the
power I could gain.  At first I thought it was rubbish but then he told me who
could truly wield the power.  Your fucking husband, who else.  I just could not
believe it.’

‘But Mitch, you’re being ridiculous.’

‘Am I?  Ever since I left school I pushed
myself and slowly I got what I wanted.  Jake, however, did it without trying. 
His name was plastered over every college notice board.  I even remember my
bloody tutor suggesting I talk to Jake to get some help.  Some help, for Christ
sake.  How do you think I felt?’

The man was obsessed, that was the only
word for it.  How he must have laughed when Fiona had let herself fall into his
hands.  Now that she knew the truth everything fell into place.  Oh, Jake, why
did you have that problem about children?  Without that none of this would have
happened.

‘So give me the stone.’

He sounded so cold and Fiona knew that she
had played her last card.  She had been used, abused, and had betrayed her
husband and for what?  Only to satisfy the insane jealousy of this man before
her.

She could not let him win.

Grasping the Odem firmly in her fist she
made an impassioned plea.

‘Professor.’

But, even before the word left her lips
she heard the explosion as Mitch fired his gun.  She felt the force tear into
her gut like a sledgehammer.  As she was thrust backwards by the energy she
became aware of an intense pain.  She looked down at the wound.

Deep red crimson was spreading over her
blouse and she was weakening.

She could hear a voice in her head, calling
her.  The Professor, but he was too late.  She could not answer him.

God, it hurt so much.

Mitch was looking down upon her.  He was
reaching for her, unclenching her fist.

He was taking the crystal.

‘Goodbye, Fiona.  It was fun, always.’

In his heart Jake felt sick.  Cherry was
gone, swallowed alive by the earth beneath her feet as had been the blasphemer
Korach and his followers when he had challenged Moses’s right to lead the
Children of Israel into the promised land.  There was no appeal against her
fate.  She would remain in Sheol for eternity.

Jake was as lost as the souls who
surrounded him.

‘Help us,’ they still cried, oblivious to
his troubles.

He shook his head at them.

‘I can do nothing for you.  I can do
nothing for the woman I love.  How can I possibly help you?’

The sick, the maimed, the wounded; they
looked at Jake and bowed their heads.  He wondered what they thought of him, he
wondered even if they had an opinion, but he knew the speculation was
pointless.  They were dead and he wished that he could join their ranks.

Slowly, they shuffled away until Jake was
alone in his misery and he sat on the ground burying his head in his hands.

‘Jacob,’ called a woman’s voice.  Gentle,
warm, caring.

He opened his eyes and looked up.  A woman
was approaching, she was plump, dressed modestly but with an almost child-like
face.  Her hair was covered by a silk scarf.  He did not know her.

Who was she and why was she talking to
him?  If she was one of the damned, not that she looked it, he would suffer the
same fate as Cherry if he spoke to her but why should he care about that? 
Cherry was gone, maybe he should join her.

‘Why, so despondent?’ asked the stranger,
her accent Brooklyn Jewish.

‘Who are you?’

‘A friend.  I have been sent to help you.’

‘Sent, sent by whom?’

She smiled enigmatically.

‘Does it matter?’

‘Not now.  Nothing matters now.’

‘But, how can you say that?’

‘Because...because...’

‘Because you have lost Cherry.  Then why
do you not search for her?’

It was as if a spark had ignited inside of
him, ‘Search for her?  Search, how?  She’s descended into Sheol.  Hashem will
never allow her to leave.’

Again the woman smiled.

‘How do you know that?  Have you thought
to ask the Lord?’

‘But, I know the law.  She broke it.’

‘And isn’t God merciful, slow to anger and
full of compassion?’

‘Yes...’

‘Then, maybe you should call on Hashem and
see if he will respond.’

Could he?  Would it work?  He hardly dared
to hope.

‘Who are you?’

‘In life I was called Chava Tashlich.’

Tashlich.  He had heard that name before,
but where?  Was it another piece to the puzzle of his past life?

‘Do I know you?’

‘No,’ she smiled, ‘We have never met.  I
died to feed the hunger of the monster that calls itself the En Sof.’

So there had to be some connection between
them.  Why else should the En Sof have picked on her?

‘No, I was a victim for quite another
reason that has nothing to do with you.  Please, Jacob.  I am here to help you;
not to discuss me.’

There were still things Jake did not
understand.  The En Sof gloried in mutilating its victims.  This woman was as
she must have been before her murder which could only mean that she was not one
of those without hope.  He had to know.

‘You did not come to Abaddon when you
died?’

‘No, for I am not of the lost.  On my death
I found my way direct to
Shamayim
^[23]
. 
It is strange.  In Heled some feared my gift, others like my dear husband
refused to believe in it, but here, well here it makes me a guide sent to lead
the lost to their rightful place and to assist travellers in need.’

‘And you will guide me?’

‘For now but not for much longer.  You
have a task to perform.  You know what it is.’

‘To find the crystals of the
Choshen
Mishpat
.’

‘Yes.  You are close to the next crystal
that lies within the Pit of Emptiness guarded by a demon but you must beware. 
There is now another who is questing for the crystals.  He serves only the En
Sof.’

‘Who?’

‘He is known as Mitch.  He is your enemy. 
Be prepared for him for he would like nothing more than to see you dead.’

Mitch.  Did that mean he was free of his
possession by the En Sof?

‘The man, Mitch, is within certain
limitations his own master.  You must hurry, else he beats you to the stone.’

‘But what about Cherry?’

‘For now you must forget her.  Your
destiny lies with the crystals.  Once you have secured them then you may appeal
to God.

Forget Cherry?  How could he.

‘But…, without her...’

‘No.  What you must do transcends your
feelings for Cherry.  If you fail then everything, everywhere, ends.  If you
succeed then...’

‘Then Cherry will be returned?’

‘No, Jacob, that is not for me to say. 
The answer to that lies with the Almighty.’

He nodded.  The woman was right, of course
she was.  He had to be strong.

‘All right, tell me about this demon that
guards the crystal.’

‘It is a demon of Truth.  It has been
charged to guard the crystal until the High Priest comes.  It will challenge
you with two questions.  You must answer in honesty and open your heart to it. 
If the demon detects an untruth it will destroy you.

‘Now go, and do what you must.’

‘You will not come with me?’

‘No, Jacob.  I have work to do here.  The
En Sof’s victims must be conducted to their true place in heaven.’

‘In that case I thank you for your
warning.’

‘Go in peace.’

There was a shimmering and the woman
vanished.  Jake was alone again.  Despite all he had learnt from the Haham,
despite what the spirit guide had told him, there was still much that he did
not understand.

The En Sof had told him that Faivish would
be spared if he co-operated.  Was it reneging on that promise?  If it was, how
could Mitch use the stones?  He certainly was not a High Priest.

There were no answers.  All he could do
was to continue as before.

Again, the colour was draining from the
landscape and, ahead of him, reality became hazy and fluctuated.  He found it
so difficult to walk.  It was like he was passing through a pocket of
turbulence with air currents buffeting him from every direction and then,
immediately before him, there was a chasm.

It was a barrier, stretching as far as the
eye could see.  There was no way to cross and Jake looked down into the pit. 
There was nothing.  Just emptiness and void.  This then was his destination,
the Pit of Emptiness.

How could he descend?  The walls were
smooth, there was no purchase.

‘Trust in God.’

The voice of Chava Tashlich.

She was right.  He had to be courageous.

Gingerly, he walked forward and crossed
over the edge and...plummeted.

…………………………………

Unbeknown to Jake, Mitch was watching.  He
too approached the chasm.  If Jake could do it then so could he.  He placed one
foot over and stopped.  There was no way he could do that, the chasm was
bottomless.  He withdrew.  This was madness.

‘Go on.  Do not be a coward.  Down
there is the crystal.  If you do not follow then your enemy will gain it. 
Jump.’

Mitch could feel his heart racing.  He
could feel the blood surging, his body heat rising, as the fear gripped him.

‘So I chose wrong.  Must I re-enter
your body?
’

‘No.’

‘Then do it.  Go, I command you.’

And, closing his eyes, Mitch jumped.

As if he had lead weights in his shoes he
plunged over the precipice, the wind rushing past him at a phenomenal rate and
he opened his eyes.  There was nothing to see.  Nothing at all.

Time ceased.

And still Mitch fell.

Down, down into the depths of Hell. 
Sheol, the place of eternal damnation.

When would it end?

‘Mitch!  Do not despair.’

The voice.  The En Sof.  He had thought
that it had deserted him.

‘Help me, please.’

‘You fool.  This pit is the first
gateway into Sheol.  You must face up to your nightmares.’

‘I don’t understand.  I just want to
stop.’

‘Then conquer your fear.’

‘I can’t.’

‘Do it.  Who do you hate?’

‘Jake Tranton.’

‘Then focus on him.  How is he faring?’

Oh yes, Jake Tranton.  He could guess how
Mr Wonderful was faring.  Knowing Jake he would be singing as he fell,
revelling in it.  Whatever that wanker did, it would come out all right.

Fucking, fucking, bastard.

‘Good.  You have done it.’

And Mitch realised that he had.  His feet
were on solid ground but there was still nothing to see.

‘Then, open your eyes.’

But his eyes were open.

‘No, you fool.  Really open them.  Use
your hatred.’

Yes, his hatred.  Tranton was somewhere
ahead, and on the verge of gaining the next crystal.  If only he could spot
him.  Damn him.

And a vermilion glow appeared.  It tinted
everything with an evil red hue, the colour of Mitch’s anger.

There, standing before a group of tunnel
entrances, was the enemy.  There was Jake Tranton.  This time he would kill
him.

‘No.  I need him alive.  Take him.’

And, brandishing his gun, the tool that
had served him so well, Mitch rushed forward.

‘Jake!’

And Tranton turned and...laughed.

………………………………

Jake just could not believe it.  Last time
he had seen Mitch, the man was pointing a gun at him and then he had been taken
away to God-alone knows where.  Now he was back and nothing had changed.

‘Mitch.  I won’t say it’s good to see you
but I’m glad that you’re not dead.’

‘Are you?  Somehow I don’t believe you. 
So, I’m in command again and this time no Bent Ferret is going to pull me
away.’

‘Oh, is that what happened?  Put the gun
away, it seems so incongruous here.’

‘You must think me stupid, this gun is...’

‘Come on.  I’ve heard all this before. 
All right, keep the thing if it keeps you happy.  I’ve got a job to do.  I
can’t stop you tagging along.’

Why did Mitch hate him so much?  There
seemed no reason for it.  It had to be something in the forgotten past.  If
only his memory would serve him better.  For now he would play along with the
lunatic.  There might be an opportunity to disarm him later.

Jake led the way, not that he really knew
where he was going.  The warm light clearly indicated a network of tunnels but
any one of them could be correct.  He picked one at random and soon wished he
hadn’t. 

At first it was just the glistening fungus
on the walls and a dank smell of stagnation but, as the light gave out, even
the texture of the floor changed.  No longer solid it felt spongy underfoot but
not spongy like grass.  It had a gelatinous feel, squelchy, slimy, a bed of
worms.

They could see nothing and Jake
tentatively reached out to touch the walls and withdrew with a start.  His
finger had been burned.  Thank God, he had not placed his whole hand.

And then Mitch screamed.

‘It burns.  It’s acid.’

‘Hold on.’

‘No.  Get me out of here.  I can’t stand
it.’

The guy was panicking and Jake lifted his
ring finger into the air.  Instinctively he knew what to do.  It had worked for
him before, it would do so again.

The crystal gave off its soothing glow and
they were able to see again.  There was something covering the walls.  It
looked like jelly but, quite clearly, it was far more deadly.

Jake looked down to see the obscene muck
in which he was standing.  Pink and red, it had the appearance of living
internal intestinal tissue, as if, impossible as it may seem, they were passing
through a human gut.

‘What is it?’

(Stop whining, for God’s sake.)

‘I don’t know.  Let’s move ahead.  The
sooner we’re through this the happier we’ll both be.’

The tunnel was narrowing and the two men,
both tall anyway, found that they had to stoop until moving became a most
uncomfortable experience.  Simultaneously the smell of something rotten began
to pervade everything.  Like a sewer.

Something throbbed.

A regular pulse.  A giant heartbeat maybe.

But then the pitch changed.  The sound
becoming heavier and more guttural.  It did not need much imagination to think
of it as the purring of a giant cat.

‘Where are we going?’

‘Your guess is as good as mine.  We may’ve
taken the wrong tunnel, I don’t know, but I suspect that they all lead to the
same place.  We’ll just have to see, won’t we?’

‘Don’t patronise me, you bastard.’

‘I wouldn’t dream of it.’

Good, it did not take much to wind Mitch
up.  It might be easy to take him if he lost control.

‘So, tell me about your buddy, the En Sof? 
Must be a doddle knowing that a thing so powerful is looking after you.’

‘I don’t know what you mean.’

‘Don’t you?  That’s not what I heard.  I
gather you’ve formed an alliance.  Some ally.  The En Sof will destroy
everything that ever lived if it succeeds.’

‘But not me.’

‘And why should you be different?  You’re
mortal like the rest of us.’

‘Because.’

‘Because what?’

‘Because it needs me.’

‘Oh I see, it needs you now but what
then?’

‘Then I’ll have the power to protect
myself.’

‘With the C
hoshen Mishpat,
I
suppose.  I hope you’re right, I really do.’

‘Shut the fuck up will you.  Get on; let’s
find the crystal and be out of here.’

Not that (as Jake well knew) they would be
able to leave.  Assuming he recovered the crystal then he would have to enter
into Sheol and face his own hidden fears.  Anything he might experience in
Sheol would be a thousand fold worse than what he might experience here.  No
point in worrying Mitch.  The Lord alone knew what was driving him and it
wasn’t altruism that was for sure.