Lifesaver (49 page)

I hugged him so hard that we both nearly toppled over, and had to grab the pushchair handle to steady ourselves. George flailed and snored, but didn’t wake up.

‘Yes, Adam, I want to be with you for ever,’ I said, slowly and deliberately.

I remembered back to the day I first cooked for Adam and Max, the scraped-off pasta tubes, chilled wine and sticky tabletop. Adam’s warm body against mine. Then all those weeks afterwards, of Max’s thin arms around my neck; and of waking up every morning feeling as if I was in just the right place.

‘And I’d love to move back to Gillingsbury,’ I added, visions spinning joyfully through my mind like Max’s Beyblades: Vicky and the kids could come and stay, and so could Lil. Lil would
adore
Max. And perhaps I could set up Wigwam Drama in Gillingsbury simultaneously, it could be a franchise. I saw us all discussing it in Adam’s—our—house; Vicky and Adam deep in conversation, Crystal bossing Max and Pat about, Chloe and George running their fingers down the mesh walls inside a playpen and chuckling at the gentle zippy sound. George would be wearing one of Max’s old sleepsuits. It would be too big, and the empty feet of it would flap about as he kicked and cooed…

We were back at the park entrance by then. A car pulled up at the zebra crossing at the park gates to let us cross, a song blasting out of the open windows like heat thawing the cold air; Jackie Wilson, ‘Sweetest Feeling’. The music serenaded us across the road, my hand in Adam’s, our baby’s lashes fluttering on his cheeks, and by the time we reached the pavement on the other side, we had become something different; a new, fledging family. I felt reassembled, like broken china, into something lasting and beautiful.

‘I can’t
wait
,’ I said ecstatically.