Life's a Witch (4 page)

I rolled my eyes. “Well, then maybe I draw the line at sharing my mom’s chocolate cake.”

“Oh, we both know that’s not true,” Landon replied, nonplussed. “You like it when I’m all sugared up, because then I have more energy for … .”

Mom cleared her throat, causing Landon to straighten. The more time he spent around my family, the more comfortable he became. Sometimes he forgot himself.

“I was going to say that sugar gives me more energy for reading books and taking long walks under the moonlight,” Landon said.

Now it was Mom’s turn to roll her eyes. “Yes, well, I’ll let that one slide today,” she said. “I have enough on my plate. Speaking of that, where are Clove and Thistle?”

“They should be here any minute,” I replied. “The guesthouse has one bathroom and six people stayed there last night.”

“Yeah, we had to conserve water and shower together,” Landon said, winking at my mom and hopping out of the way when she tried to swat him with her spatula. “The others should be down pretty soon.”

“You have a smart mouth,” Mom said, waving the spatula in Landon’s face. “You’re going to want to cut out the sex talk if you don’t want to make Aunt Willa die of a heart attack.”

“I don’t really care what she thinks,” Landon countered. “From what I understand, she’s a horrible woman. I also understand that this … Rosemary … was mean to my blonde. I’m not going to put up with that. So if she’s mean to Bay now, I’m going to say something. You’ve been forewarned.”

“Landon, I understand that you want to stand up for Bay … .” Mom broke off, uncertain. “Actually, I don’t know where I was going with that. Forget what I was about to say. I always want you to stand up for Bay. I would appreciate it, though, if you didn’t do anything until Aunt Willa and Rosemary prove that they deserve it.”

“I can live with that,” Landon said, grabbing my hand. “Come on, Bay. Let’s go see what Aunt Tillie is plotting. I need to know if I should pick up more fire extinguishers in town today.”

We found Aunt Tillie sitting at the head of the dining room table, her gaze fixed on an empty space at the other end. I was pretty sure she was imagining Aunt Willa sitting there and wishing she had the strength to set someone ablaze with the power of her mind. That was one trick she hadn’t yet mastered. Lightning was another story.

“What are you doing?” Landon asked, slipping into the seat next to her. We were early. The other guests were still upstairs. That was probably a good thing.

“I’m debating how I’m going to kill Willa,” Aunt Tillie replied, not missing a beat. “What’s painful but not messy?”

“You realize I’m with the FBI, right?”

“That’s why I’m not going to involve you with my plan,” Aunt Tillie said. “I’m not an idiot.”

“Oh, well, good,” Landon said, shooting me a reassuring wink. He wasn’t worried about Aunt Tillie killing anyone. He was worried about her releasing unholy havoc on Hemlock Cove to prove her dominance, though.

“Aunt Tillie, can I ask you something?”

Aunt Tillie shifted her attention to me. “Don’t worry, crybaby. I won’t really kill her.”

I scowled. I hated it when she called me that when I was younger. It was downright annoying as an adult. “That’s not what I’m worried about.”

Aunt Tillie waited.

“Did Grandma think Aunt Willa was a good person? Is that why she refused to cut her out of her life?”

“Your grandmother was a good person, and that’s why she couldn’t completely cut Willa out of her life,” Aunt Tillie replied. “She … had a heart of gold. She was the best of us all.”

“Would she have changed her mind if she knew Aunt Willa tried to take Mom, Twila and Marnie away from you?”

“If she knew that she’d have burned Willa’s house to the ground,” Aunt Tillie answered. “Ginger could take a lot. She would not take anyone messing with her girls.”

“Kind of like you, huh?”

“Oh, I’m meaner than Ginger ever dreamed of being,” Aunt Tillie countered. “I loved your grandmother, but she had a weak imagination. I’m not encumbered by that little personality defect. When I kill Willa, it will be inventive.”

“Like what?” Landon asked, clearly enjoying the game.

“Well, I was considering hedge clippers, but that will ruin the carpet if I do it inside, and you know how your mother feels about messes.”

Landon patted the seat next to him to entice me to sit. “You don’t want to do anything that leaves a body,” he said. “Try to think of something involving fire.”

“Don’t encourage her,” I warned, settling next to him. “If she thinks you’re on her side, she’s going to play up to her audience.”

“I am on her side,” Landon said. “I don’t like anyone who was mean to you. That includes family members.”

“You put up with Thistle,” I reminded him.

“Yes, well … that’s sister stuff,” Landon argued. “You guys fight like sisters, and that means low blows land every so often. I’ve learned to live with that.”

Aunt Tillie snorted. “You’re smarter than you look sometimes.”

“Thank you … I think.” Landon shifted his gaze to me. “Do you have a lot of work to do today?”

“No.”

“How about I drop you at the newspaper and then we get lunch?” he suggested. “I want to stop by to talk with Terry about a few things.”

“It had better not be about my wine,” Aunt Tillie interjected.

“No promises,” Landon replied. “How does that sound, Bay?”

“It sounds good,” I said. “I can finish all my stuff up in an hour or so. Brian wants to have a meeting about some new grand plan he has to boost circulation for The Whistler.”

Brian Kelly owned the newspaper where I worked. Other than me, the only other regular staff included a layout person and photographer – and they were part-time. Since Brian’s grandfather left a stipulation in his will that said he couldn’t sell The Whistler, he was constantly devising ways to boost circulation and advertising to fatten his wallet.

“I don’t like that guy,” Landon muttered. “He keeps looking at you as if you’re on the menu and he wants to order a la carte.”

“Nice.”

Landon squeezed my hand. “I can’t help it if I feel territorial,” he said. “You’re mine, little witch.”

“Ugh, you two are like a bad romance novel,” Aunt Tillie muttered. “If I’m going to set anyone on fire, it’s you two.”

“Oh, what a sweet sentiment,” Thistle said, breezing into the room with Marcus, Clove and Sam on her heels. “What did I miss?”

“The fact that purple hair went out in the nineties,” Aunt Tillie replied, gracing Thistle with a snarky smile.

“Ha, ha,” Thistle intoned. “I thought we were working together this week since we have a mutual enemy. Has all of that gone away because you’re crabby in the morning?”

“Sit your butt down,” Aunt Tillie ordered. “We need to have a strategy session.”

“Does anyone else think these guys are being overly dramatic?” Sam asked, taking his spot next to Clove at the table. He was the newest member of our little group, thanks to his romance with Clove. He was still getting used to our witchy ways. “These people can’t be as bad as everyone makes them out to be.”

“Have you ever seen
The Walking Dead
?” Aunt Tillie asked.

“Yes.” Sam’s face was neutral, but his eyes glowed with mirth.

“You know the zombies?”

“Are you saying that Aunt Willa and Rosemary are like zombies?” Sam asked. “If so, that means they’re slow moving and we can take them.”

“No, dumbass. I’m saying that they’re like the cannibals who ate that guy’s leg in front of him while he was still alive,” Aunt Tillie countered. Of all the men in our lives, Sam was her least favorite. He’d grown in leaps and bounds in her estimation in recent months, but she wasn’t exactly fond of him. “I would prefer zombies.”

“Okay, I’ll bite,” Landon said. “How so?”

“Willa is a meat eater who doesn’t care who she sacrifices as long she lives to tell the tale.”

“You just described yourself,” Landon pointed out.

“You’re on my list,” Aunt Tillie hissed, extending a warning finger in his direction. “You’re right that I’ll sacrifice those I don’t care about to save myself. However, I’ll also sacrifice them for the people I love. Willa isn’t loyal to anyone … but Satan.”

I pursed my lips to keep from laughing. She was really wound up today. “Do you want to get together and plot with us at Hypnotic this afternoon?”

Landon shifted. “I thought we were having lunch.”

“You can come plot with us,” I offered. For some reason, I knew Aunt Tillie needed unfettered loyalty more than Landon needed a private lunch. She was feeling exposed. This was the best way I knew to give her the support she needed.

“That’s a great idea,” Aunt Tillie said, her eyes lighting up. “I’ll steal cookies so we have something to eat.”

“I’m going to have to take a pass,” Marcus said. “I have stuff to do at the stable if I’m going to be ready for the expansion.”

Thistle narrowed her eyes. “What stuff?” Marcus only recently announced his plan to expand Hemlock Cove’s stables, and she was still getting used to the idea. Her biggest problem was that Marcus wouldn’t let her take over the planning.

“Stuff that doesn’t involve plotting,” Marcus replied. “I love you. I don’t want to get involved in this unless I have to, though.”

Clove glanced at Sam. “What about you?”

“I’m going to withhold judgment until I actually meet these people,” Sam replied. “I’m sure you understand that I need more to go on than Aunt Tillie’s hatred before I can jump on the bandwagon.”

Aunt Tillie scorched Sam with a hateful look. “You’re never getting off my list. You know that, right?” She turned to Landon and arched an eyebrow. “What about you, Fed? Are you going to help or hinder me this week?”

“Oh, I’m in,” Landon said.

Marcus shot him a surprised look. “You are?”

“I’m not risking getting cursed into another book,” Landon replied. “Plus … I already don’t like these women on principle. I’m not as … hopeful … as the two of you. I have a feeling that Willa is coming here because she’s up to something.”

“What makes you think that?”

“Let’s just say I think manipulation is part of the genetic makeup when it comes to the women in this family,” Landon replied. “I know that Aunt Tillie won’t let anyone purposely hurt Bay. Sure, she likes to do it as payback, but she stomps anyone else who tries. I’m siding with Aunt Tillie on this one.”

“And you’re off my list,” Aunt Tillie said, beaming.

“Oh, screw it,” Marcus said. “Count me in. If Landon thinks it’s a good idea, who am I to argue?”

All eyes in the room turned expectantly to Sam.

“Oh, fine,” Sam grumbled. “I’m only doing this so I can finally say I was part of the group, though.”

“That’s good,” Landon said. “As the newest member of our group, that means you’re responsible for lunch.”

Sam frowned. “Now I have to buy lunch?”

“I want Olive Garden,” Aunt Tillie said. “I want the seafood Alfredo and minestrone soup.”

“And where am I supposed to get Olive Garden around here?”

“Traverse City is only an hour away,” Aunt Tillie replied, blasé. “If you leave after breakfast you should have no problem picking up our lunch and getting back in time.”

“Oh, well, this is just perfect,” Sam muttered.

“Don’t forget the breadsticks,” Aunt Tillie said. “Make sure they’re still warm.”

“Being the newest member of this group sucks!”

Four

“I have a great new idea for the newspaper. You’re going to kick yourself for not thinking of this yourself, Bay.”

Brian Kelly sat behind his grandfather’s desk, looking more like a boy playing publisher than the actual thing. When he first arrived in Hemlock Cove I found him annoying but tolerable. Now I mostly want to smack him in the head.

“And what’s your new idea?”

Brian leaned forward, giving the impression that he was about to impart one of the world’s greatest secrets. “We’re going to do … people features.”

Oh, well, great. “Like what?”

“You know … features on people.” Brian held up his hands and shook them to emphasize his point. It still seemed like a lame idea to me.

“But features on people doing what?” I pressed. “Are there people in Hemlock Cove doing tricks I’m not aware of?”

Brian sighed. He hated my attitude. There was nothing he could do about it, though. His grandfather stipulated that I was to remain editor of The Whistler. If Brian tried to sell it – or fire me – I had the option of taking over the newspaper’s ownership. That was the last thing Brian wanted.

“People features are a great way to draw readers in,” Brian said, changing tactics. “They can be charming, funny, and if we do them right we can coax the business owners to buy ads.”

He was so full of it I couldn’t help but wonder how he didn’t fall over more often due to the size of his ego. “And how does that work?”

“Are you purposely trying to be difficult?”

“No. I want to know how writing people features increases advertising.”

Brian sighed, petulant and overdramatic. “If you do stories on people who have businesses, they’re going to be excited and buy more copies of the paper,” he said. “Once they do that, other people are going to realize they want a feature. Then they’re going to buy more ads just so they can stop in and get a feature. Do you see how that works?”

Not even remotely. “I don’t think it’s going to work that way,” I said, rolling my neck until it cracked. “Do you remember when you insisted on doing business features and we ran out of ideas within four months? Those didn’t bring in extra advertising dollars.”

Brian made a face. “I think that was your fault.”

Of course he did. “I think that Hemlock Cove’s advertising dollars are pretty well set,” I countered. “Unless a new business comes to town – like the Dragonfly or the Dandridge – you have a set amount of dollars that are going to be spent. Most of the businesses here run a weekly ad already. Why do you think they’re going to start running two?”

“Because … .” Brian was stumped. It wasn’t hard to do. “Because it will.”

“Fine,” I said, giving in. It would be easier to write three people features and let him find out for himself that it was for naught than argue with him. “Who do you want the first feature on?”