Life Without Limits (6 page)

My belief in the power of hope over despair was reinforced on my first visit to China in 2008. I saw the Great Wall and marveled at the grandeur of one of the world’s most incredible wonders. But the most powerful moment of this trip for me came when I saw the joyful glimmer in the eyes of a young Chinese girl. She was performing with other children who’d put together a show worthy of an Olympic spectacle. This girl’s jubilant expression caught my attention, and I could not look away. While she moved in precision with the other dancers, she simultaneously balanced a spinning plate overhead. She was concentrating so, so hard, yet despite everything she had to think about, she still had this look of intense happiness that moved me to tears.

You see, this girl and all the children in the show were among more than four thousand young people orphaned by a massive earthquake that had hit the region just a few months earlier. My caregiver, our travel coordinator, and I had come to this orphanage with supplies for them, and I’d been asked to speak to them to raise their spirits.

As we traveled to the orphanage, I was overwhelmed by the damage and suffering that had been caused by the earthquake. In
the face of such devastation I worried that I would not know what to tell these orphans. The earth had opened up and swallowed everything they’d loved and known. I had never endured anything so terrible. What could I say to them? We’d brought warm coats and other clothing for them, but how could I give them hope?

When I arrived at the orphanage, I was mobbed. One child after another embraced me. I didn’t speak their language, but it didn’t matter. Their faces said it all. Despite their circumstances, they were radiant. I should not have worried about what words to say to help them. I didn’t have to inspire these children. Instead, they inspired me with the soaring spirit of their performance that day. They’d lost their parents, their homes, and all their belongings, yet they were expressing joy.

I told them I admired their courageous spirits and urged them to keep looking forward, to dare to wish for better lives, and to pursue their dreams with all their power.

Have the courage to pursue your own dreams, and never doubt your ability to meet whatever challenges come your way. I’ve seen people’s amazing capacity to rise above their circumstances not only in Chinese orphanages but in the slums of Mumbai and the prisons of Romania. I recently spoke at a social welfare center in South Korea, where some of the residents were disabled and others were single mothers. The power of their spirits amazed me. I visited a prison in South Africa with concrete walls and rusted bars. The worst criminals were not allowed in our chapel service, but I could hear others outside, throughout the prison, singing along to the gospel music. It was as if the Holy Spirit had filled the entire population with God’s joy. They were captive on the outside but free on the inside because of their faith and their hope. Walking out of the
prison gates that day, I felt that those inmates seemed freer than many of those outside the prison gates. You too can allow hope to live in your heart.

Remember that sadness does serve a purpose. It is perfectly natural to experience this emotion, but you should never let it dominate your thoughts day and night. You can control your response by turning to more positive thoughts and actions that lift your spirits.

Because I am a spiritual person, I look to my faith in sorrowful times. But (perhaps surprisingly) it is my training in accounting that offers a more pragmatic approach. If you say you are without hope, that means you think there is
zero
chance of anything good happening in your life ever again.

Zero?
That’s pretty extreme, don’t you think? The power of believing in better days is so indisputable that, to me, it seems far more probable that your days will change for the better. Hope, along with faith and love, is one of the pillars of spirituality. Whatever your beliefs, you should never be without it because everything good in life begins with it. If you didn’t have hope, would you ever plan to start a family? Without hope, would you ever try to learn something new? Hope is the springboard for nearly every step we take, and my hope in writing this book is that you will find a better life, one without limits.

A passage in the Bible says, “Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” The first time I heard this passage, I realized that I didn’t need arms and legs. Don’t ever forget that God never gives up on you. Keep moving ahead because action creates momentum, which in turn creates unanticipated opportunities.

People around the world were deeply saddened by the devastating 2009 earthquake in Haiti. Yet for all the tragedies that came with this massive disaster, the horrific circumstances also brought out people’s best qualities, as in the survivors who refused to surrender despite the overwhelming odds stacked against them.

Marie’s son Emmanuel was believed to be among the dead buried under a building. The twenty-one-year-old tailor had been with his mother in her apartment when the earthquake hit. She escaped, but she could not find him afterward, their building now just a heap of rubble. Marie looked for her son at an emergency camp set up for people who’d lost their homes, but she could not find him among the other survivors. She waited, hoping he still might make his way there.

After several days, she went back through the chaos and the destruction to search for her son. Heavy machinery at work on the site made it difficult to hear, but at one point Marie thought she heard Emmanuel calling for her.

“At that moment,” she told a reporter, “I knew it was possible to save him.”

Marie let everyone know that her son had called to her from under the rubble, but no one was able to help her. But when international groups of rescue workers arrived, she was able to find an experienced team of engineers. She convinced them that her son was still alive. Using their equipment and knowledge, they cut through steel, concrete, and debris at exactly the spot where she’d heard her son’s voice.

They kept digging until they uncovered Emmanuel’s hand. He was reaching out to them. They continued until they freed his shoulder and they were able to pull him out. He had been buried for ten days. He was severely dehydrated, covered in dust, and very hungry, but he survived.

Sometimes all you will have is your belief that anything is possible, that miracles can happen. As it was for Marie, the world around you may be in chaos, but you should not give in to despair. Instead, believe that whatever you lack, God will provide! That belief spurred Marie to action. Her actions brought her within reach of her son’s voice. It’s not a stretch to recognize that Marie’s hope kept Emmanuel alive, is it?

Life may not be going well for you now, but as long as you are here, as long as you press forward,
anything
is possible.

You may be skeptical that anything is possible by hanging on to hope. Or perhaps you have been brought down so low that finding the strength to crawl out of your despair seems impossible. There was a time when I felt exactly that way. I was absolutely convinced that my life would never be of value and that I would only be a burden to those I loved.

My parents were not prepared for a child without limbs when I was born, and as a result they were despondent. Who could blame them? Every mother and father tries to envision the future for the children they bring into the world. My parents had difficulty projecting what sort of future I would have, and as I grew older, so did I.

We all have at times seen our vision for our lives crash into a cruel reality like a speeding car into a brick wall. The particulars of your experience may be unique, but situations of despair are all too human. Teens often e-mail me stories of abuse and neglect ripping apart their families. Adults share stories in which drugs or alcohol or pornography have left them crippled. Some days it seems like half the people I talk to are dealing with cancer or some other life-threatening medical condition.

How do you stay hopeful in such situations? You trust in God,
remember that you are here for a reason, and dedicate yourself to fulfilling that purpose. Whatever challenge you are facing, you are blessed in ways that will help you find a way through it. Just think of my parents and of the hopelessness that they once faced.

Remaining positive and motivated when your burden feels unbearable is undoubtedly difficult. When I became old enough to understand the challenges awaiting me, I was often haunted by despair and couldn’t begin to imagine that anything positive lay in store for me. My memories of the darkest days of my childhood are hazy. I was going through one of those periods when being different was particularly tough. I’m sure you have experienced those self-doubts too. We all want to fit in, but at times we all feel like outsiders.

My insecurities and doubts sprang mostly from the physical challenges of having no arms or legs. I cannot know what your concerns are, but hanging on to hope helped me. Here is just one, early experience of how it worked in my world:

I was just a toddler when my medical team recommended that my parents put me in a play group with other kids labeled “disabled.” Their challenges ranged from missing limbs to cystic fibrosis and severe mental disorders. My parents had great love and empathy for other special needs kids and their families, but they don’t think any child should be limited to one group of playmates. They held on to the conviction that my life would have no limits, and they fought to keep that dream alive.

My mother, bless her, made an important decision at an early stage of my life. “Nicholas, you need to play with normal children because you are normal. You just have a few bits and pieces missing, that’s all,” she said, setting the tone for years to come. She didn’t want me to feel less than normal or restricted in any way.
She didn’t want me to become introverted, shy, or insecure just because I was different physically.

Little did I realize that my parents were even then instilling in me the belief that I had every right to a life free of labels and restrictions. You have that right too. You should demand to be free of whatever categorizations or limits others try to put on you. Because of my missing bits and pieces, I am sensitive to the fact that some people accept what others say about them and even unconsciously restrict themselves. There certainly were times when I was tired or cranky and tried to claim that studying or going to the doctor was just too taxing, but my parents refused to let me hide behind that.

Labels can provide a tempting hiding place. Some people use them as excuses. Others rise above them. Many, many people have been labeled “handicapped” or “disabled,” only to soar above, enjoying dynamic lives and doing important things. I encourage you to rise above any attempt to restrict you from exploring and developing your gifts.

As a child of God, I know that He is always with me, and I’m comforted to know that He understands how much we can bear. When others share stories with me of their own challenges and trials, I’m often moved to tears. I remind those who are suffering or grieving that God’s arm is never too short. He can reach anyone.

Draw strength from that. Dare to give it a go and to soar as high as your imagination will take you. You can expect challenges. Welcome them as “character-building experiences.” Learn from them and rise above them. You may have an excellent dream. Just be open-minded enough to accept that God may have a different path for you than the one you envisioned. There are many ways to reach your dream, so don’t be discouraged if you can’t yet see the way on your own.

Hope is a catalyst. It can even move obstacles that seem immovable. When you keep pushing, refusing to give up, you create momentum. Hope creates opportunities you never would have anticipated. Helpful people are drawn to you. Doors open. Paths are cleared.

Remember—action brings reaction. When you are tempted to abandon your dreams, push yourself to continue one more day, one more week, one more month, and one more year. You will be amazed at what happens when you refuse to quit.

When it came time for me to begin elementary school, my parents again lobbied for me to have a typical education. As a result of their unyielding conviction, I became one of the first disabled children in Australia to “mainstream” into the regular school system. I did so well in the mainstream school that the local newspaper ran a story with the headline “Integration lets disabled boy blossom.” The story, accompanied by a big photograph of my sister Michelle riding with me in my wheelchair, set off a national media blitz that brought visits from government officials, cards, letters, gifts, and invitations from across the country.

The donations that flowed in after that newspaper story helped fund my parents’ efforts to equip me with replacement limbs. They’d been trying to fit me with artificial limbs since I was eighteen months old. My first prosthesis was just one arm, which didn’t work well for me. The arm and hand were operated mechanically with pulleys and levers, and it weighed about twice as much as all the rest of me!

Just keeping my balance with this contraption on was a challenge. I managed to operate it after a while. I’d already become adept at grabbing objects with my little foot, my chin, or my teeth, so the bionic arm seemed only to make daily chores more difficult. My parents were disappointed at first, but my confidence grew because
I felt good about doing so well on my own. I encouraged them and thanked them and looked ahead.

There is power in perseverance. Our first experiment with an artificial limb failed, but I continued to believe my life would work out for the best. My optimism and high spirits inspired our community Lions Club, an international service organization, to raise more than $200,000 for my medical bills and a new wheelchair. Some of those funds also helped us travel to Toronto, Canada, to try a more advanced set of electronic arms developed by a children’s clinic. In the end, however, even the medical experts decided that I managed to accomplish most tasks more efficiently on my own without the aid of prosthetics.