Life Or Something Like It (7 page)

Ellie bounced over to them. ‘Can I have some candyfloss and a drink, please?’

‘Okay,’ said Cat.

‘I’m sorry I spoiled your treat, Ellie,’ said Charlie.

Ellie shrugged. ‘It’s okay. Can I have some candyfloss then? And also, can I have my picture taken with Yoda? Have you seen him, Charlie? He’s really cool.’

Cat and Charlie exchanged glances before Charlie put an arm around his sister. ‘I have, Ells. Come on, let’s go and try to work out how he does it.’

Cat breathed a sigh of relief and followed them through the crowds. As they were right by the National Gallery, Cat suggested they go inside. Predictably, Charlie declared the idea to be ‘boring’ but as soon as Ellie said that she would like to see the pictures, he backed down.

Cat had always loved this place and, over the years, she had viewed it as some people might view a library – a place of calm and a refuge from the real world. She marvelled at the fact that you could be in London’s bustle one moment and then staring at Van Gogh’s
Sunflowers
the next. She led the children towards the modern paintings, thinking she might impress them with her favourites.

‘I like this one,’ cried Ellie, skipping over to a winter landscape scene. ‘It’s like Christmas. Why is that little man sitting in the snow though?’ she asked peering at the tiny figure.

‘Well – ’ said Cat moving next to her.

‘Can we go and see the sunflowers now?’ said Ellie moving away.

‘Okay,’ said Cat, longing to spend a minute to take in the other pictures. She noticed Charlie stayed by her side. This was a blessing as the gallery was now bustling with visitors. ‘I think you should hold my hand, Ellie,’ she said.

Ellie frowned at her. ‘I’m not a baby.’

‘I know. It’s just that there are a lot of people and how cross would your dad be if I lost you?’

‘Very cross,’ declared Ellie, placing her hand in Cat’s.

It felt odd to be holding a child’s hand and Ellie kept trying to wriggle free when she spotted something new she wanted to look at. Cat led them quickly to
Sunflowers
but it was impossible to get close due to the number of people gazing up in reverent awe. Cat remembered going to the Louvre and the enormous gallery where the
Mona Lisa
hung. She had been overwhelmed by the crowds and underwhelmed when she got close and saw how tiny the painting actually was. She looked round at the other paintings – bridesmaids at Van Gogh’s wedding. Ellie wriggled her way through and was frowning up at the painting. Charlie stood next to her. Cat excused her way through the crowd to stand alongside them.

‘What do you think?’ she asked.

‘I like them,’ said Ellie.

‘They’re dying,’ said Charlie. ‘Why did he paint dying flowers?’

Cat looked at the picture and realised that he was right. In her mind they had always been bright and alive and full of life. In actual fact at least half a dozen of the flowers were drooping. If they had been in her house, she would have thrown them out. She looked for a description, hoping that it might give her an answer for Charlie. ‘Well he painted them for his friend, another painter called Gauguin, and I think he wanted to impress him.’

‘By painting dying flowers?’

‘I think there are a few versions,’ said Cat, trying to scan through the text quickly.

‘I need a poo,’ declared Ellie.

‘Right, okay,’ said Cat, still trying to read the text.

‘Now,’ said Ellie, looking a little desperate.

A lady with a sleeping toddler in a buggy caught Cat’s eye. ‘Kids eh?’ She grinned.

Cat gave her a weak smile. She longed to shout,
I am not one of you! These are not my children!

‘Come on then, you two,’ said Cat, leading them back to the entrance hall.

‘I’ll wait here,’ said Charlie.

Cat wavered. The gallery was very busy and she also wasn’t convinced that she could trust him to stay put, despite their earlier discussion. ‘I want you to come with us,’ said Ellie in a strained voice.

Charlie looked at his sister and rolled his eyes. ‘Okay, Ells,’ he said offering her his hand.

They followed the signs to the basement. ‘I’ve got a turtle!’ shouted Ellie as they sped along the marble corridor with Cat glancing back every now and then to check Charlie was still behind her. Cat’s heart sank when she saw the queue. It snaked out of the door. Could she push in declaring a faecal emergency? She could see quite a few parents ahead of her accompanied by squirming children. Probably not.

She turned to face Ellie and held her by the shoulders. ‘You’ve got to hold on, Ellie. Can you do that for me, please?’ Ellie’s face was screwed up in concentration and she looked as if she might cry.

‘Hey, Ellie,’ said Charlie. ‘What’s that song about the kookaburra that Mum always sings?’

Ellie was immediately distracted as she thought. She began a tuneless rendition and to Cat’s surprise Charlie joined in.

‘Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree-ee,

Merry, merry king of the bush is hee-ee,

Laugh kookaburra, laugh kookaburra,

Gay your life must be.’

Cat had to endure this assault on her eardrums for a further ten rounds but they reached the toilet without further drama.

‘In you go, Ellie,’ said Cat.

‘Can you come in with me?’

‘Really?’ asked Cat horrified.

‘These toilets are very dark and a bit scary.’ Cat and Charlie exchanged glances. ‘Please?’ implored the little girl.

‘O-kay but let’s be quick. I thought this was an emergency,’ said Cat feeling exasperated.

They crammed into the cubicle as Ellie sat down and began a running commentary on her bowel movement.

‘It’s coming out now and oooh, that’s much better.’

Cat stared at the ceiling and tried to pretend that she was having cocktails in Shoreditch House. Ellie went about her business and after she had wiped declared that ‘it came out clean so I didn’t really need to wipe.’

‘You stink,’ said Charlie with a grin.

‘I know.’ Ellie beamed.

‘Okay, go and wash your hands now,’ said Cat. As Ellie filled her hands with too much soap and proceeded to flood the floor beneath her basin, Cat turned to Charlie. ‘Thank you for distracting her,’ she said. He shrugged.

‘That was fun,’ said Ellie as they made their way out towards the door. ‘Can we go for lunch now, please?’

When she told Andrew later about their dining experience, he was a little too quick to point out that she should have saved herself the bother and taken the children to McDonald’s.

‘The treat aspect to eating out for kids is the fact that they’re not eating at home,’ he said plainly.

Cat did not know this and she also didn’t go to McDonald’s. Ever. Although she could remember enjoying it as a child, now she was an adult, she could afford to shun fast-food establishments and treat herself to something a little more edifying. So for Cat a meal at a Michelin-starred restaurant was something different and wonderful and she had felt sure that the children would quickly be impressed and won over. The trip to the National Gallery had been relatively successful and she decided that they all deserved a treat. Cat was no fool though. She had deliberately chosen a restaurant run by a female chef with children. She not only welcomed kids but had even designed a menu for them. It was where Cat sent all her celebrity mothers with their offspring.

‘Wow,’ was all Ellie would say as the maître d’ led them through the elegant dining room to their table.

‘Thank you, Philippe,’ said Cat with a smile as they took their places. The children looked bemused when he unfolded their napkins and placed them on their laps. Ellie beamed at Cat and she started to relax a little. Philippe brought the menus, a large one for Cat and two smaller ones for the children.

‘I sink you will be wanting ze brunch menu, Miss Nightingale?’ he asked.

‘That will be wonderful. Thank you.’ He retreated with a small bow and Cat turned to the children. ‘So they have macaroni cheese, burgers or fishcakes. What do you fancy?’

Ellie was looking around in wonder and awe. ‘I feel like a princess,’ she breathed. ‘I like the way that man talks too. Can I have macaroni cheese, please?’

Cat smiled. ‘Of course. Charlie? How about a burger?’

‘I want to go home,’ said Charlie, his face clouding over.

Cat took a deep breath. ‘Come on, let’s have some lunch eh? Ellie is looking forward to it,’ she said with meaning.

Charlie scowled at her but then caught sight of his sister’s hopeful face. ‘I’ll just have chips,’ he said.

‘All right,’ said Cat, deciding that it wasn’t worth a battle. ‘And what would you like to drink?’

‘Can I have a Coke, please?’ asked Ellie.

Charlie gave her a disapproving look and was about to open his mouth when he thought better of it. ‘Coke for me too, please,’ he said giving his aunt a rare smile.

Cat felt encouraged. She would win the children over in one single day and Andrew would have to eat his words. As she placed their order, she spotted Ava being led through the restaurant. She was with a companion whom Cat recognised as Caroline Henderson, a freelance PR consultant Cat had used for the odd campaign. Cat gave them a wave. Caroline looked embarrassed and whispered something to Ava before retreating towards the entrance. Ava made her way over to Cat’s table.

‘Darling,’ she said, kissing the air either side of Cat’s head. ‘How are you?’ She emphasised the question by glancing at the children and giving Cat a look of deep sympathy.

‘I’m fine. Really,’ said Cat with meaning. ‘What happened to Caroline?’

‘She had to pop to the little girl’s room. So!’ said Ava taking a step back.

‘I’m Ellie and this is Charlie,’ announced Ellie.

Ava raised her eyebrows at the little girl. ‘Pleased to meet you, sugar-cheeks. I’m Ava.’

‘There’s a girl in my class called Ava,’ said Ellie with authority.

‘Is that so?’ said Ava, her mouth twitching into a smile.

‘It is so,’ replied Ellie. ‘But she’s mean and I don’t like her. She once poured yoghurt on my skirt.’

‘Well that is mean,’ said Ava. ‘You should do it back to her.’

‘Should I?’ asked Ellie with intense interest. ‘Won’t I get into trouble?’

Ava leaned in to the little girl. ‘Not if no-one sees,’ she whispered.

‘Ava!’ called Caroline from the other side of the room. Cat looked towards her, ready to smile, but Caroline looked away.

Ava saw the hurt on Cat’s face. She put a hand on her friend’s shoulder. ‘Don’t give it a thought, sweetie. Caroline’s a bitch,’ she said. ‘I’ll call you, okay?’ she added before going to join her companion.

‘I like her,’ said Ellie, watching Ava sashay through the restaurant.

Cat took scant consolation from Ava’s kindness. Her comments about Caroline were true but it made Cat feel miserable that someone who would have talked to her the week before her fall from grace barely acknowledged her now. Her status had been downgraded from PR hotshot to child-caring rookie. It was not a post she relished and she felt distracted and ruffled as their food arrived. She picked at her salad and felt a growing sense of irritation as Charlie gave off an air of someone who didn’t want to be there or make any effort to enjoy her incredibly generous treat. He barely touched his triple-cooked chips. They were still there when Ellie’s chocolate fondant pudding arrived. She attacked it with gusto.

‘Eat up, Charlie,’ said Cat.

‘You eat up,’ he replied.

‘That’s a bit rude.’ Cat frowned.
How dare he?

Charlie scowled. ‘Erm, I don’t care?’

‘Charlie, don’t,’ said Ellie looking worried.

Charlie stood up. ‘I’m going to the toilet,’ he said.

‘You can’t go on your own,’ said Cat.

‘Why not?’

‘Because you’re a child and – ’

‘Because I might run off again? What do you care?’ cried Charlie angrily. A couple of diners looked round. Cat noticed Caroline glance over and shake her head.

‘Stop it, Charlie, you’re embarrassing me,’ said Cat quietly.

This was the wrong thing to say. Charlie jumped up on his chair. ‘Oh, I’m embarrassing you, am I? Well I’m so sorry that I’m embarrassing Auntie Cat in front of her stupid posh friends.’

‘Get down, Charlie,’ she snapped.

‘Make me,’ said Charlie. He put a foot up on the table. Cat could see Philippe approaching. She closed her eyes for a second. This could not be happening.

‘I feel sick,’ said Ellie.

Cat opened her eyes and the first thing she saw was Ellie’s face, which had turned a peculiar shade of bluey green. The next thing she noticed was Philippe standing between her and Ellie as the small girl turned and vomited all over his pristine maître d’s jacket.

The rest of the afternoon was a blur – a miserable blur. Philippe was kind and understanding as it was his job to be. They were politely ushered to his office so they could clean up.

No, Miss Nightingale must think nothing of it. It happens all the time. I have a spare jacket just for occasions like this. Do not give it a second thought.

But Cat knew. She saw the looks and stares as they trooped out of the restaurant, the disgusted faces and judging glances. She also noticed Ava and Caroline and the way they completely ignored the whole drama. She felt numb as she led the children back to the train station. No-one spoke as they travelled home. She let them into the house and was greeted by Andrew’s cheery face.

‘I managed to finish early so I thought I would come home and see how you all were.’ His smile faded as he spotted their faces. ‘What happened?’

Andrew took immediate charge as the story unfolded. Cat marvelled at how efficiently he herded Ellie into the bath and then tucked her up in bed. He sent Charlie to his room, gave him a severe telling-off, and Cat didn’t see him for the rest of the day. She made herself a cup of tea and went into the living room feeling shaken and drained. When Andrew appeared a while later, he brought in the biscuit tin. He offered it to her.

‘Custard cream for your troubles?’

‘It’s not bloody funny,’ she said.

He gave a small smirk. ‘I know and I am sorry. I know you tried your best.’

‘But?’