Life In The Palace (24 page)

“What?” She asked.

“Stacy’s here. She came up with Rob to visit.” I paused.

“Chloe, you’re allowed to see your sister. You don’t have to make a big confessional out of it.”

“Yeah, I know Mom. There’s something else. She asked me to tell you she’s pregnant.”

There was a long awful pause. I heard the scissors being put down and still she didn’t say anything.

I let another minute go by before I said, “Mom, did you hear me?” Although I knew she had.

“Yes, I heard you,” she said very carefully. “How long have you known?”

“I just found out last night. I didn’t even know they were coming, I just got home and here they were.” I stopped talking because I realized I was apologizing again and this wasn’t my fault.

There was another pause.

“Do you know how far along she is?”

“She said about four months. I’m not sure how carefully she was keeping track of her periods.” I leaned against the window frame. Why did I have to be the bearer of bad news?

“Has she seen a doctor?”

“I don’t know.”

“She needs to make sure she’s eating right. Is she taking vitamins?”

“I don’t know, Ma.” I was getting frustrated.

“How does she seem?” she asked quietly.

“To be honest, she’s scared senseless. She doesn’t know what she’s going to do. Rob wants them to move in with his mother in Anthony. I don’t think she wants to though. She doesn’t seem to know whether she’s coming or going. I think it’s all too much for her.”

There was another pause.

When Mom spoke she had her determined voice on, “Is she still staying with you? I’d like to speak to her.”

“Yeah, but she’s not here right now.”

“Please call me when she gets in, I’ll be in the shop.”

I was still staring out the window when Seth stuck his head around the door to check on me.

“How’d it go?”

I turned to look at him, “Better than it could have. There was no shouting. I don’t think she’s running out to start knitting booties, but she didn’t flip out, either. Unless she’s saving it for later. She wants me to call her when Stacy gets back.”

“Are you going to class today?” he walked over to where I was standing and slipped his arms around me.

“It’s doesn’t look like it. One more day won’t ruin my whole academic career. It feels wrong to just walk out and leave them here. Should we take them up on the mountain later or something?”

“We’re just going to pretend this is a social visit?”

I shrugged, “We might as well; it beats sitting around here and just yelling or crying the whole time.”

We were sitting together on the sofa when Rob and Stacy reappeared. I was going through slides with my laptop on my knees, leaning against Seth who was reading the latest anti-Obama op-ed piece because he likes to know what the opposition is saying.

“Was it awful?” Stacy asked as I looked up.

“Remarkably not. She asked a few questions. She didn’t seem that happy, but there was no actual yelling.”

“Wait until Dad finds out.” Stacy sank into the armchair.

“There was one thing.”

“What?” She bolted upright.

“She wants to talk to you. She made me promise I’d call as soon as you came in.”

“So she can yell at me in person?” Stacy wasn’t exactly running to make the call.

“I don’t know, she sounded weird. Could you just go do it please? It won’t get any better if you put it off, and I’ll just get stuck in the middle.” I just didn’t have patience to deal with it anymore.

“You can use my room if you want privacy.”

She looked like a lost little girl. “I’d rather stay here. If you don’t mind.”

“Whatever you want.”

Seth and I busied ourselves with looking like we weren’t listening. Rob was staring straight ahead.
He doesn’t say much. Is he always like that, or is it just this unbelievably awkward situation? He seems pleasant enough, but what does Stacy see in him? I don’t see anything that would make him worth all this trouble.

Stacy looked over at Rob before picking up her phone.

I could hear it ringing as she held it away from her. Maybe she was willing it to go to voicemail.

“Hi, Mom? It’s me, Stacy.” There was a pause, I’m not sure either of them said anything.

Stacy cracked first, “Chloe spoke to you?”

Now Stacy had the phone to her ear I couldn’t hear what Mom was saying, only what Stacy was replying.

“Yes, it’s true.” Stacy bit her lip trying not to cry.

“I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

“I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“Yes, I’m having the baby.” Stacy’s tone was sharp. I guess she was getting sick of being asked that question.

“Rob’s got a steady job, we’ll be fine. We’ve managed so far.” Stacy stood up and started pacing around the room.

“What else is there to do?”

She looked over at Rob, “We might stay with Rob’s Mom for a while.”

Stacy sighed, “Yes, in Anthony.”

“I speak better Spanish than you do.”

She walked over to where Rob was still standing. He slipped one arm around her.

Stacy’s face went white. “You’ve got to be joking. What did you just say?”

“Are you really serious?”

Seth and I stopped all pretense of doing anything but eavesdropping.

“What about Rob?”

She rolled her eyes, “Dad would really love that.”

Stacy pulled away from Rob. “It was his idea?”

Rob mouthed “what?” to Stacy, but she just shook her head back.

“Both of us, together? For how long?”

Tears were welling up in her eyes. “Are you sure?”

“I’ll have to talk to him about it. It’s not my decision to make alone.” One big tear slid down her cheek.

“I’ll call you back as soon as I can.”

“Thank you, Mom. I love you too.”

She hung up.

We all just stared at her as she stood there in the middle of the room with tears running down her face, but something was different.

Rob spoke first, “And?”

Stacy looked at him, “They want us to go and live with them. Both of us, you and me, together in their house in El Paso. For as long as we want. At least until we get on our feet.”

I opened my mouth to speak and then remembered it wasn’t my moment.

You could see Rob thinking about it. Finally he said, “That’s unexpected. Is that what you want to do?”

“Maybe,” Stacy said in a little voice.

Rob wrinkled his brow, “I could probably get my job back at Ted’s. It would be a big help to have your mom around to lend a hand with the baby. The small’uns sure take up a lot of time. Your Dad’s okay with this plan?”

Stacy nodded, “It was his idea.”

“It was his idea?!” I exploded, unable to help myself.

Stacy looked at me as if she was seeing me for the first time, “I know, I think aliens must have taken over his body, but Mom says it was his idea.”

“That’s it? We just move in, have a baby and stay as long as we want, with no conditions?” Rob asked.

“Mom didn’t say it was conditional.”

“There ain’t much in life that’s free,” Rob replied.

“Maybe the price is that then you have to live with Mom and Dad,” I suggested.

Stacy smiled. “It might actually work, at least in the short term.”

“We should think it over for a bit before giving them an answer,” Rob said, although it was clear that Stacy was already sold and that Rob would do whatever made Stacy happy.

Seth and I shared a look which meant something like, “All’s well that ends well? Let’s freaking hope so.”

Chapter 19

A
t noon on
the third day, Rob and Stacy finally left. I came home between classes to wave them off. Seth showed up just as they were getting into the car. We stood side by side and waved as they pulled off down the street.

When the car rounded the corner, Seth turned to me and smiled, “Look you survived! Well done.”

I laughed at his sudden vote of confidence. “Thanks, I guess. Although once we knew they were going to go live with Mom and Dad, it all got a lot easier. It was a bit surreal though, doing the whole sightseeing, welcome to Montreal thing.”

I opened the door for him and we headed upstairs. Without giving it much thought, I sat down at the table and watched Seth move around the kitchen.

“I think I lost the vote on the whole Victoria gig issue,” Seth said as he started chopping vegetables. “It’s in another month. Huddy’s all for making a giant road trip out of it and seeing how many gigs we can line up along the way. I hear where he’s coming from. It would be a good chance to increase the band’s profile. We’re doing pretty well here in Quebec, but frankly our wider profile sucks. Playing actual gigs is more effective marketing than any amount of Facebook or MySpace presence, unless we can get one of our songs to go viral, and that’s a matter of total luck. But it means being gone for a good few weeks, if not a month. I’m not sure I want to do that. Alec would give me the time off work but … ”

He trailed off.

“Chloe, Earth to Chloe, are you listening?”

I shook myself, “You’re going to Victoria?”

“Could be.” He looked at me, “Do you want to tell me what’s going on? Where are you?”

I looked up at him; involuntarily he took a step back. “I just can’t get over Rob,” I said furiously. “Who the hell does he think he is? He just sails into town and takes over her whole life. What the hell is that?”

“Whoa, slow down a minute. You’re mad at Rob?” Seth sat down opposite me.

“I’m not mad at Rob, I’m fucking furious at Rob.”

“I get that. But why?”

“Why?” I banged the table. “He ruined her life!”

Seth kept his tone very calm, “He didn’t do it single-handedly. She did have a part in it. It was her choice too.”

“Was it?” I yelled. “She’s so head over heels for the jerk that she can’t see what she’s doing, until it’s too bloody late. She dropped out of an Ivy League school to go ride around on his bike and have his lovechild.”

“It’s all Rob’s fault? Stacy didn’t have anything to do with it?”

“Of course it’s Rob’s fault. If he loves her so much he should have been looking out for her. Someone should have told her get a grip and sort it out with Mom and Dad instead of just taking off. Someone should have made sure they were taking precautions. If he loves her, he should have had her back and not just blindly let her make any stupid choice that came into her head.”

“It’s his responsibility to make sure she makes good choices?”

I gave him a look, “Love means not letting the other person destroy themselves just to be with you. Love means doing what’s best for them even if it’s hard for you. Love comes with responsibilities.”

Seth took a deep breath, “Maybe Rob tried. He seemed like a pretty decent guy to me. Maybe he did try to get her to do something else, maybe he thought this was really the best choice.”

“It’s not possible. Rob is probably the only person she would have listened to. If he’d tried he could have stopped it turning out like this.”

Seth nodded, “Her life’s not over, things can still turn out okay. It wasn’t the way anyone expected it to go, but she has actually made up with your parents. If she has their support she should be able to go to college and care for the baby.”

“I hope so,” I said darkly.

Seth got up and went back to the vegetables sizzling in the frying pan.

After a minute he turned back with a smile, “Does that mean you want me to put my two cents in more frequently?”

I returned his smile, “You’ve never been that shy about giving your opinion.”

“I don’t know if that’s true,” he sighed. “I think you’re wrong about Rob, but I’m not going to push it. I know the whole thing’s hard for you.”

I shrugged but I felt some of my anger dissipating. “What’s for lunch?” I asked suddenly.

“Stir-fry. I was wondering if you’d ask before you starting eating.”

“Sorry about that. Will you tell me again about the gig in Victoria?”

Bernie walked me back through the campus after our usual Thursday mid-afternoon caffeine infusion.

“I’m going to the library, so I’ll see you later,” I said as we reached the Arts building.

“More studying? You are a glutton for punishment,” Bernie chuckled.

“I have to catch up what I missed with all of the excitement this week, but also there’s a book I want to check out.”

“You use real books?”

“Some things you just can’t find on Wikipedia,” I joked. “Also I’m meeting Seth after band practice for even more coffee before he goes to work and I ride the caffeine wave to study glory. I’d better grab the book before it’s time to meet up.”

Just then my phone buzzed, I looked down, “Speak of the devil,” I said as I waved goodbye and headed into the warm library.

I texted back.

Got to get a book from the library, be ready in a few.

Seth replied.

I’ll meet you there.

*

Tal crouched panting.

“Was that it?” Jov asked cautiously.

“I don’t think so,” she answered breathlessly. “I feel more coming. Just be ready.”

“As ready as I can be,” Jov still managed to sound cheerful.

Tal rolled her eyes, “How can you be so perky?”

“We won,” Jov smiled.

“By the skin of our teeth. Every day it gets worse. Without the Courts we’d be getting massacred.”

“But we’re not,” Jov winked.

“Could you give me a break?” Tal lost her patience. “Great, we’re still alive, just. While we’re being hammered by the Adversary, she’s out there feeding it. Every little kiss makes them stronger and she just doesn’t care.”

Noy had been ignoring the exchange happening next to her, now she said quietly, “Is now really the time?”

“When is the time?” Tal exploded. “We keep avoiding the topic. We know what is causing this. Why aren’t we doing something about it?”

“What do you think we should do? Kidnap them? Force them apart?” Noy said. “We tried talking to her.”

“A fat lot of good it did,” Tal grumbled.

“It was our best shot. Now we have to fight the battle in the Palace. As above, so below: If we win here, we’ll change the physical world.”

“Or we’ll die,” Tal shot back.

“Tal, enough already,” Jov was uncharacteristically firm. “All we can do is Serve, pray and wait for He Who Knows to hear our prayers. A little more faith would do more good than all these ‘should’ve, could’ve, would’ves.’ You did the best you could with the information you had. If you’ve got a problem with how the world’s being run, take it up with He Who See’s when you get to the Throne Room. In the meantime, shut up!”

Before Tal could respond there was a menacing growl to their left. They each held their weapons tighter.

“Here we go again,” said Noy as the attack came.

*

I looked the book up at the computer bank on the ground floor, then made my way to the fourth floor. I was counting the stacks concentrating on the index numbers and hoping that no one else had the book out. That’s the only way I can explain how I managed to walk straight into her. She was sitting on a chair by the edge of the stacks as I came around the corner. I literally fell over her legs. I felt that familiar adrenalin rush and my head go slightly woozy. For a second her eyes still had that vacant look I associate with her being in the Palace. Suddenly something flashed across her face and she was on her feet facing me.

“You?” she spat.

“Yes, it’s me. I’m sorry I disturbed you. I was just looking for a book.”

“Everywhere I go, it’s you,” she growled.

I looked at her surprised, “I don’t know why because the last I remember you were dropping me like a hot potato for not dumping my boyfriend when you told me to.”

“I’m risking my life so that you can swan around doing whatever you like.” Her eyes were dark with hatred.

“I thought I was an Other, I thought I can do whatever I want,” I argued.

“But he’s not.” It was so simple for her.

Then I lost my temper. “Are you all racist? Why can’t he be with anyone he wants?”

She looked at me like I was something that had crawled out from under a stone, “You can’t split your heart in two. He can’t be in the Palace and here with you. If he tries then he’s cheating on one of you, but mostly himself.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, “Don’t you people love?”

“Of course we do. You can’t even conceive the love inside the Palace,” she sneered. “Others talk about loving with their souls, but usually they mean with their hormones. Soul love is beyond forever. When you fall in love in the Palace you touch the divine. He Who Knows is actually the third party in your relationship.”

“So you’re polygamous?” I mocked.

Tal gave me a withering look, “I don’t think it counts as polygamy when one of the parties is omniscient.”

In measured tones I said, “I’m not breaking up with my boyfriend because some weirdo religious chick told me to.”

“Once I was your friend.” She looked at me.

I looked back at her, “I thought so too. Tal. Don’t you understand where I’m coming from?” There was an unexpected note of pleading in my voice.

“No. Of everyone, I thought you’d understand me. This is not just some game we’re playing. This isn’t Dungeons and Dragons on a Thursday night. This is people’s lives. It’s the whole world. You’re playing God and you just don’t care.”

Now I was furious, “I’m playing God? I’m not the one going around ordering people to do things. We all need to bow down to you because you’re in the Palace? You’re the one trying to dictate how the world runs.”

Tal shook her head, “Don’t you think I’d want it to be different? Don’t you think I wish you could keep your perfect boyfriend? You don’t know what it’s like. You get to choose. You can choose to bring Oblivion into the world. You can choose to let him die. But I can’t. I have to Serve whether I like it or not.”

“Everyone gets a choice,” I said calmly.

“Not a good one,” she replied. The anger seemed to go out of her. “I thought you were different, but Gal’s right. You are like all the Others. I’m sorry we had to become adversaries. But we will fight you and, it be His will, we will win.”

I rolled my eyes, “What are you going to do, send me threatening messages?”

Tal’s expression was stoic, “We’ll fight you in the Palace. The place of power is the moment, and Connection is the tool.”

“Okay,” I shrugged sounding much more casual than I felt. “Come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough.”

We stood there and stared at each other, as if looks could kill.

Stupid religious freaks. She sounded so bloody believable for a while there. I must have been hallucinating. Saving the world, huh! (I just thought huh, am I losing it, too?) No, I’m the normal one with the loving boyfriend and the nice life. I kind of feel sorry for her and her sad little life. No wonder she wants to go around scaring normal people, she needs some sort of mutant validation. If God wants me to break up with Seth, He can let me know without her help.

“That’s it?” I asked after a minute of silence.

“What else is there?” she asked.

It was only as I turned to go that I realized the whole conversation had happened in the Palace. She hadn’t come all the way out before she started yelling at me. It didn’t make me feel any better.

I wheeled around with one last parting shot, “It will take more than your merry little band to split us up. This isn’t some schoolgirl crush that’s going to fade in the morning. You’d better have some pretty big guns if you plan to break our bond.”

“The biggest,” she whispered.

I turned my head to leave once and for all but froze in my tracks when I saw the thing coming.

In all the times I’d seen the Palace through Tal’s eyes, I’d never seen anything like it. Even with all the late night horror marathons I’d had with Spike, I’d never seen anything like it.

The thing slouched towards me. Its skin was viscous and dripped slowly downward. There were no eyeballs in the sockets, the mouth hung open and listless, revealing a black hole dotted with a few decaying teeth. From its shoulders hung the tatters of a robe. This was the anti-Knight, a dying thing slouching towards Bethlehem to be born. My hands were shaking, but I didn’t lose it totally until it spoke.

“Chlo?”

I screamed. It stopped its advance.

“What is that?” I cried to Tal.

Her face was impassive, “Your boyfriend.”

I gripped the stacks behind me for support.

“That’s what he looks like in the Palace,” she said simply as she walked away.