Life in the No-Dating Zone (17 page)

“He said he’d talk to you later.”

She sniffed as though that was totally hilarious. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t date.”

She didn’t date? What did that mean?

“Plus, I’d only just met him so he probably won’t even remember after the party’s over.”

Two explosions went off right behind my eyes. I didn’t look at her. I just focused on one deep, solid breath.
And exhale. Stay calm.
“You kissed a guy you’d just met?” I said as if I was talking about the weather.

Her laugh sounded strained. “Thanks for watching out for me. Good night.”

“Night,” I said.

She strolled up the walk to her front door. After a quick wave, she slipped into the house. I, however, enjoyed a rousing rendition of “head meets steering wheel.”

What was wrong with me? It was like I’d chosen the door into the dimension where I liked several girls at once. Would I wake up tomorrow madly in love with Rose? And how far did this liking thing go with Claire? Or was I just attracted to her? Or worse, was it some competition thing brought on by seeing her kiss someone else?

I didn’t know, and I didn’t know what the heck I was going to do about it.

I pulled away from the curb and a metallic clang rang out. I stopped in the middle of the street to search for the source of the noise. It took no time at all. Claire’s silver water bottle rolled back and forth on the floor of the car. I didn’t even have to think twice. There was no way I could face her again tonight.

Thirty

Claire

I set my finished LEGO X-Wing Starfighter on top of my dresser next to the TIE Fighter, arranging the little pilots to stand beside them. I stepped back. Yup. I definitely needed one more piece to round out the arrangement.

I squatted down and dug through the heavy plastic storage box, searching for just the right set. Let’s see, I could go with more
Star Wars
, or do something completely random. Yeah, in my present mood, random would work perfectly. I pushed through the plastic baggies until I found what I was looking for—a
Pirates of the Caribbean
set. Nothing like a little Captain Jack Sparrow for randomness.

I sat back down at my desk and switched my music to the
Pirates
soundtrack. Perfect. That should help keep my mind off Gray.

I’d tried all my usual things—except hanging out with the girls, which wouldn’t work because Lindsey was grounded and hungover and Rose was busy. After Sunday lunch out with the fam, I’d picked up the novel I was currently reading. But no go. I kept remembering Gray’s temper tantrum last night and the rush of relief that tingled all the way to my toes when I realized he was just worried about me. Although he could have figured out a better way to show it.

So, I watched TV. Which lasted about two minutes. I switched to online streaming TV, which lasted about fifteen minutes. Had Gray really thought Lindsey’s kiss meant nothing? Or was he sitting around daydreaming about it?

Thoughts like that kept sliding into my brain, making me feel like my head was trying to turn inside out. I couldn’t focus. Whenever I’d felt that edgy before, the only things that helped were baking or building LEGO models—activities that required following directions and staying focused. And since venturing into the kitchen might mean having a conversation with my mom or dad, LEGOs it was.

Playing with LEGOs had always made me feel better. I could still remember my first LEGO building set—one of those little house sets with its windows and roof pieces. I loved the little flowers you could stick on the base. I loved the little clicking sound the bricks made when you connected them. I still did.

Anyway, I dumped the LEGOS out of the baggie onto my desk and opened the instructions. I’d just sorted the pieces into different piles when someone banged on my bedroom door. I jumped, then swiveled my chair around.

My sister Mimi walked in. She’d changed clothes since church and had on shorts, a T-shirt, and sandals. With no makeup on, she looked about seventeen.

I turned off the music. “What’re you doing here?”

“Hey. I forgot Jack’s diaper bag and wanted to get everything clean before I bring it back tomorrow.”

A reasonable excuse, but she wouldn’t look me in the eye. Something was going on. “I think it’s in the playroom.”

“Yeah, found it.” She fingered the TIE fighter on my dresser. “Why’re you playing with LEGOs?”

“Why not?”

She sat on my bed. “Because there are about a hundred other things I’d rather do.”

I clutched Captain Jack in my fist as though I had to protect him. “No one’s asking you to.”

Mimi laughed. “That’s sure true. How come you’re not with the girls?”

This was weird. Mimi never interrogated me. “Because they’re busy. Who asked you to ask me?”

She looked at the ceiling. “Can’t a girl ask her sister how things are going?”

“Sure, but you didn’t ask me that. What are Mom and Dad worried about?”

She twisted her mouth to one side, then shook her head. “I knew you’d figure it out.”

“And?”

“And you were really quiet during lunch and they’re wondering if you’re having trouble with your friends.”

I frowned. “No, we’re fine. Why would they think that?”

“I don’t know, but they wanted me to find out.”

“That’s so weird. They’re not usually nosy.”

She pointed at herself. “Why do you think they asked me to do it? They’re trying not to be. But I’m not sure they’re really worried about you and your friends. I think they’re concerned about your no-dating vow, which, by the way, is really stupid.”

The change of subject surprised me, so I said the first thing that came to mind. “
You’re
stupid.”

She gave me an incredulous look. “What are you,
five
?”

“
You’re
five.” I pressed my lips together to hold in a laugh.

“No,
you
are.”

“No,
you,
” I said, then let the laugh go. Mimi joined me. It felt really good to just sit there, joking around with her. I really didn’t spend much time with Mimi anymore and when I did we mostly talked about Baby Jack. She leaned back on her elbows on the bed, looking relaxed for the first time since she’d walked into my room.

“Why do you think Mom and Dad are worried about my vow?” I asked.

She sniffed. “I think they’re wondering whether some guy has tried to force you to do sexual stuff and that’s why you don’t want to date.”

I couldn’t shake my head fast enough. “No, no.” I squinted at her. “And are you sure that wasn’t just something
you
thought might’ve happened?”

“Okay, you’re right. That was me, not Mom and Dad. But they are worried about the vow. They’ve mentioned it to me before. I’ve always told them as soon as you met someone you really liked, the vow would evaporate.”

Gray’s face came to mind. I looked at the carpet. I couldn’t stop myself. I didn’t want Mimi to know how much I liked him. Because it didn’t matter. He was in love with Lindsey. I had to have my vow to stay sane.

“Uh-oh,” Mimi said, her voice softening. “You already have, haven’t you?”

I nodded, my eyes still trained on the floor.

“And you’re keeping the vow?”

Again with the nod.

She exhaled through her teeth. “Is it Gray?”

One short nod.

“And you don’t want to talk about it?”

I finally met her concerned gaze. “No.”

Mimi leaned forward, an earnest look on her face. “Just tell me one thing, okay? Did you make the vow because of me? Because you’re afraid you’re going to end up like me?”

What could I say? Mimi and Carl were only part of the reason. “Kinda yes and kinda no. I mean, I do want to go to a good college … so I really need to make good grades and stuff. I don’t have a lot of time to get involved in relationships.”

She stared like she could see through my head to the Sydney Opera House poster on the wall behind me. “I think there’s more to it.”

I went over to the dresser and placed Captain Jack right between Luke Skywalker and the TIE Fighter pilot.
It’s okay to be different. I don’t have to do things like everyone else. I don’t have to date if I don’t want to. Everything can stay the same. Nothing has to change
.

“Claire?”

“People leave,” I whispered. I really didn’t know where those words had come from. Or why I had been so stupid to say them out loud. But I had. And from the look on Mimi’s face, she’d heard me.

She came to where I stood. “Did you say ‘people leave’?”

I couldn’t find my voice. I had nothing.

Mimi dragged me to the bed and made me sit. “Tell me what you meant.”

It was a command, but she didn’t sound harsh. Only freaked out. I still couldn’t talk. How in the heck did I get myself in this situation?

“Were you talking about me leaving to marry Carl? Because you know that even if I’d never met him or dated anybody, I would’ve left to go to college or move into an apartment with some friends. It had nothing to do with dating. C’mon, Clairey, you’ve got to tell me more. I’m trying to understand.”

“I don’t—” I didn’t know where I was going with that sentence, so I just stopped. What was I going to do? I thought she already knew about Mom and Dad, but it was starting to look like she didn’t.

“I left. Did somebody else leave? Who are you talking about?”

A knock sounded. Mom came in holding out Mimi’s cell. “Sorry to interrupt. You left this downstairs. It’s Carl.”

Mimi gave me a “this isn’t over yet” look before taking the phone from Mom and walking out the door.

Mom stared at my desk with its piles of LEGO bricks. “You’ve been busy.”

“Yup.”

“Anything you want to talk about?”

I’d rather become a tiny LEGO figure
. “Nope.”

“Okay. I’m—” A buzzer went off in the distance. Mom glanced out my bedroom door.

“That’s the dryer, isn’t it?”

“Yes.” She headed out. “I’d better go take care of it.” In the hall, she leaned against the door frame, her face drawn and tired. “Let me know if you want to talk.”

“Okay, thanks.” I shut the door behind her.

Phone calls, dryers buzzing—I’d take it. Anything to save from having to wander down the trail of feelings. I switched the
Pirates
soundtrack back on and got to work.
 

Thirty-One

Gray

My blood hit the top half of the TV screen for the third time in a row.

“Yes!” Berger said. “You got owned!”

“Shut up.” I tossed my game controller onto the couch, completely disgusted with myself. “If you hadn’t been screen-watching—”

“Oh, right. Blame your sucky play on that.” He blasted through his last two kills. “Besides, you know me—whatever works.”

I grunted, then rubbed at the dull ache that had settled right behind my eyes. Time for more caffeine. I hoisted myself up. “Want something to drink?”

“Yeah, but I’m coming with you. I don’t want any of that organic crap your dad buys.
And
you can tell me what the heck is wrong with you.”

I ignored that last part. “You know he’s here, right?”

“No.” Berger looked around like an escaped prisoner. “You think he heard me?”

“Nah. He’s in his office working.”

Berger shoved me. “Jerk.”

I laughed. Once in the kitchen, I opened the pantry. “Let’s see, my dad supposedly went to the store while we were at our mom’s place.” What was it about staring into the pantry that automatically made me hungry? I craned my neck, but couldn’t tell what was on the top shelf where my dad usually hid stuff from my brothers. I elbowed Berger, who was taller. “See anything up there?”

“Uh, spaghetti, couscous—gross—wait, there’s a twelve-pack of Dr. Pepper in the back.”

“Great. You get a couple of cans. I have to get the non-see-through cups.”

“Cool. I love this sneaky stuff. If your brothers come in and want to know what we’re drinking, I’ll say poison, okay?”

“Whatever.” I pulled out the cups and filled them with ice. “My dad buys it for me, so I don’t complain—just follow the rules.”

He handed me a can and started filling his cup. “That’s our Grayson, such a good little rule-follower.”

I laughed. “As if you’re such a rebel.”

“No, but I like to keep my super-villain identity a secret.”

“Sorry, bro, everyone already knows.” I opened the refrigerator and tossed packages of cheese and deli meat onto the counter.

Berger adjusted his wire-framed glasses. “They just think they know. But they know not what evil dwells in the city’s underbelly, where men are pitted against rats the size of llamas, and women run wild and free as mustangs on the prairie. Where only one teenager can free them and rid the world of its pestilence.”

I took out the mustard and mayo. “Llamas? Grab the bread and those pretzels over there, will you?”

Items in hand, Berger followed me to the kitchen table. “Didn’t you eat lunch like an hour ago?”

“Yeah, but we went to one of those Greek places my mom and
Mel
like.”

He took a napkin from the stand in the center of the table and opened the bread. “Since when do you not like Greek food?”

“It’s okay, I guess. I just wasn’t in the mood.” I threw together a turkey sandwich.

“Right,” he said, meticulously spreading mustard. “Emo day. I forgot. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I said, and bit into my sandwich to buy time. I didn’t really want to talk about what had happened last night, mostly because I was still so confused. Why the heck had I wanted to kiss Claire? I couldn’t get the scene in the car out of my head. And it was really weirding me out. At least I hadn’t woken up this morning in love with Rose. Not much evidence of my sanity, but enough for now.

Berger slurped his drink. “So did your stalker come to the party last night wielding a knife?”

“Right. That would happen.”

“Okay, then. A baseball bat.”

“Really? Fascinating.”