Lickin' License (16 page)

“What's up, baby?” Vanessa asked, as Candy trailed her inside of Rich's office.

“Y'all come check this out.” He pointed at the computer screen.

Vanessa and Candy stepped behind the desk. There was silence, both of their eyes glued to the screen.

Rich turned around, watching the women staring in awe. “We can't all talk together, but
somebody lips gotta start moving. Matter of fact, it's plenty of room on this desk for both of y'all.”

Candy and Vanessa sat on the desk and faced Rich. They turned to each other. Tears trickled from Vanessa's eyes.

“Why, Candy?” Vanessa cried. “Why did you do this? You videotaped the first time we had sex and you never told me. Then you had the nerve to give it to Vera? Why?”

“She stole the video,” Candy pled.

“I trusted you. Why?”

“You really wanna know the truth?” Candy replied.

“I'm not sure anymore if you're even capable of telling the truth.”

“First, you tell me why you sleeping with Vera.”

“Sleeping with Vera?” Vanessa's flood gates opened and tears flowed down her face.

“Yeah, I know you and Vera gettin' y'all freak on.”

“Hold on, hold, hold on,” Rich said. “We got a whole lot of talking going on, but nobody
ain't saying nothing. Candy, why the fuck you tape Vanessa? And how this shit get on the
Internet?”

“I wanted . . . her . . . soooo bad,” Candy said, pausing between her words. She explained how the scheme developed. She admitted that Vera had discovered the video and stolen it. She
also explained how she ransacked Vera's apartment in search of the video. She mentioned
finding the video on Vera's hard drive, but that Vera must have had other copies
. Candy was sure that trashing Vera's apartment caused her to post the video on the internet
. “So I was in her crib, trying to fix what I fucked up. That's how I know you were in there too. You left your beads and you signed one of your books and gave it to her.”

Vanessa sniffled, trying to wipe away her tears, but the
emotional flow continued. “She forced me. She said if I didn't have sex with her, she would put the video on the Internet. I only slept with her three times.” She paused. “I'm sorry.”

Rich noticed that Candy had begun sobbing too. He got up and embraced her and Vanessa in a group hug. The room fell silent, except for the sniffling.

Rich felt that their relationship would never be the same. Trust had been broken and the fears they had about their personal lives becoming public would soon be a reality. As he hugged
Vanessa and Candy, he knew the three of them would need to be stronger than they had ever
been to withstand the drama set to unfold because of the video.

Vanessa stepped back.

You all right, baby?” Rich asked.

Vanessa pointed at Candy. “This is your fucking fault! You shouldn't have made that damn tape.” She bolted from the room.

Rich turned to Candy. Her face was covered in tears.

“I didn't mean for this to happen,” Candy mumbled.

“I know you didn't, but it did. Now we got a whole lot of bullshit to deal with.”

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

T
hings had changed drastically for Candy since weeks earlier when the video was posted online. Vanessa had
been living in her own apartment for a week. Guilt overwhelmed Candy each time she
remembered Vanessa telling Rich, “I'm not setting foot in this penthouse if Candy is here!” Candy pled with Vanessa to come back, but she gave up after Rich insisted that Vanessa needed some
time and space. Candy had been sleeping with Rich in his penthouse on some days, while Rich often
spent other nights with Vanessa at her apartment. Candy thanked Rich for forgiving her and
trying to bridge the gap she had created between her and Vanessa. Rich had been a go-between, relaying the thoughts of each woman to the other.

Vanessa was adamant that she loved Candy, but she was too hurt to function in a
relationship with her. She felt that Candy had taken advantage of her.

Rich had reminded
Vanessa that although Candy had violated her, it took place long before the two of them had fallen in love. Vanessa understood that, but she was still left with a wound that had not healed.

Candy was pleased that there had been no backlash from the video yet. She contacted the porn site to file a formal complaint and had the video removed from the website. But another site
posted the video and refused to take it down at Candy's request. Interestingly, no one in the shop had
hinted about hearing of the video or seeing it. The shop was business as usual, except for the tension
that lingered between Candy and Vanessa. But it was undetectable to the other women in the shop. Yet
Candy knew that it was only a matter of time before the gossip began. Her hope was that it didn't
destroy the delicate thread that was holding together her relationship.

Candy was curled in the fetal position in her bed with Rich clutching her from behind.
They had been discussing their relationship for over an hour.

“How would you feel if you was in Vanessa's shoes?” Rich asked.

“Fucked up.”

“Exactly. She still loves you, though. I can see it in her eyes when I talk to her about you.”

“Feels like she's ready to kill me when we're down at the shop.”

“She's hurtin'.”

“It's hard to fix what I fucked up.”

“Tell me about it.”

“But it really don't matter if it's hard. Let's just hope it can be fixed.

* * *

The following night, Candy sat in a BMW X6 with Rich behind the wheel. They
were parked in front of Vanessa's apartment. Rich had convinced Candy to come with him to see
her and allow him to mediate a resolution to their problem. Candy was nervous because it woul
d be the first time she saw Vanessa outside the shop since she left the penthouse. Candy was
uncertain if Vanessa would hold her tongue like she had been doing at work. But
Candy was willing to accept the repercussions of her actions. She was prepared to do whatever
was necessary to restore the life she had come to love.

Candy held Rich's hand. She took a deep breath and exhaled. “I'm ready.”

They stepped out of the car and walked up to the building. Rich inserted his key into the
door, and then led Candy through a narrow hallway. He stopped in front of Vanessa's door.
“Hold on.” Candy closed her eyes and gripped Rich's hand firmly.

“Everything's gonna be all right,” Rich said, then inserted his key into the door and
stepped inside.

“Oh my God!” Candy whispered as they entered the living room. She stared at Vanessa
sitting Indian style on the couch with a box of Kleenex tissues in her lap. Her watery eyes were
puffy and red. Candy rushed over and hugged her.

“Get the fuck off me!” Vanessa barked. “These tears are your fault.”

“No, no, I love you.”

Vanessa screamed again before struggling free. She backed away from Candy. Her
eyes glared at Candy. “Rich, get her out of here, now!”

Candy began crying as Rich stepped over to Vanessa. “Baby, we can't keep going
through this and you know it,” Rich said. “I go home to her, she's crying. I come over here,
you're crying. I'm just trying to wash away the tears.”

Vanessa turned to Rich, then slowly to Candy.

Candy looked square into Vanessa's eyes for the first time that night. She could see the
pain—a pain that she had never seen before. Candy wanted to speak. She wanted to say so much,
but she didn't know how. She didn't know what to say. What words were capable of erasing the
pain? For over a minute, their eyes were steady. Candy mustered the heart to say what she
thought was the most important thing. “I love you, Vanessa. I love you.”

Vanessa fidgeted, sniffling while her eyes teared. She seemed to be stuck in a zone. She slowly stepped toward Candy, walked past her and opened the door.

More tears ran from Candy's face. She turned to Rich. “I tried,” she mumbled, then
walked out of Vanessa's apartment.

* * *

Candy had cried herself to sleep the night she left Vanessa's apartment.
She had never known that Vanessa was capable of being so cold. But Candy
understood the root of Vanessa's actions. She realized the severity of her situation, how deep the
wound that she caused Vanessa was. She saw it in Vanessa's stillness, the extended period in
which they gazed into each other’s souls. A mere glance would have signaled that Candy was not
worth her time. But Vanessa's drawn out stare meant she saw something within Candy worth holding onto. At least that was Candy's interpretation of their face-off.

It was almost time to open the shop, as Candy sat inside of her office. She was gazing at the wall that Vanessa's back was pinned against during their introduction to each other's bodies.
It was the wall now serving as the videotaped backdrop to Candy’s downfall.

Candy snapped out of her daze. She stood and walked toward the door of her office. As
she opened it, she heard Chanel's voice.

“You motherfuckin' fuck tape freak,” Chanel barked.
In a blur

she was stomping toward Vanessa. Candy charged out of her office, grabbing
Chanel by the throat and ramming her head into a locker. “Don't you ever fuckin’ disrespect her!”

Candy squeezed her throat tighter. “You'll end up in a casket and I'll be in a cell.” She slammed the back of Chanel's head against the locker a second time then let her go.

Chanel grabbed her throat and gasped for air as Candy stepped off. Leah and Meisha
had just run to the scene. They stood silently as Chanel leaned against the locker. She was
clearly embarrassed and scared. Her short thick frame possessed merely half the physical power of Candy's towering body.

Candy's heart jumped when she spotted Vanessa crying. She wiped her tears away and
hugged her. She turned to Chanel and the other women, one of her arms still embracing Vanessa.
“Y'all knew me for a long time. Y'all supported me through mad drama. Y'all know I'm open with my sexuality. We joke about it all the time in the shop. How me and Vanessa fell in love and how that video ended up on the Internet is a long story. It's a longer story when you add that we share the same bed with Rich.”

“You jokin', right?” Meisha asked.

“She's not,” Vanessa said. She looked at Candy, then back at their audience. “It's not a
normal relationship, but it's a loving relationship. I just ask that it not be disrespected.”

Vanessa was still coming to terms with the reality that she had just expressed the truth about her relationship to the women in the shop. Surprisingly, she felt liberated. There was a satisfying power that resulted from releasing knowledge of the thing that had brought her so much joy, but that she kept bottled up out of fear that it would cause her pain.

“Listen, girl,” Meisha said. “Like I told Candy a million times, 'You can lick who you
want, as long as it ain't me.'”

Vanessa laughed.

“And Candy, I need to get this straight, no pun intended,” Meisha giggled. “You telling me you go both ways?”

“Like the FDR Drive,” said Candy.

Meisha shook her head. “Vanessa transformed Rich from a hustlin' ho, and Rich done got Candy messing with men again. Y'all some bad motherfuckers.”

“Only in Candy's Shop is this possible,” Leah said with a smile.

Vanessa was pleased that things were turning out better than she thought. She was
comfortable with the jokes. She had no problem with comedy because it was the nature of the shop. But when the thin line that separated jokes from disrespect was crossed, that’s when she had a problem.

As everyone went to the front of the shop, Vanessa noticed Chanel was still quiet until Leah walked over to her. The pair were having a conversation built on whispers and their eyes shifted to
Vanessa and Candy.

Vanessa didn’t trust Chanel and she was beginning to wonder about Leah.
Vanessa hoped that Candy physically chastising Chanel was enough to end the string of stunts Chanel had been pulling. It was a lesson that Vanessa also hoped would serve as a warning to the rest of the women in the shop that there were boundaries that should never be crossed.

Candy put her hand on Vanessa's shoulder. “We okay, now?”

“Of course not. But we'll talk later,” said
Vanessa.
Although she finally felt free, there was still a slight uneasiness about her relationship being made
public. It was not what would surface in the shop that troubled her any longer. It was the
potential for gossip outside the shop and potential negative results that worried her. And she seriously
wondered whether Leah and Meisha truly respected her or her relationship? Did they
simply say what was necessary to please the woman who was responsible for how they lined their pockets?
Vanessa had always sensed that Leah was genuine and Meisha was a straight talker. But
then again her perceptions had been wrong before.

Vanessa watched Candy busily organizing tracks of weave hair by color. She had no doubt that Candy
loved her. It was evident in her action that left Chanel's world shattered. It was the type of
instinctive response intended to protect loved ones.
The rage on Candy's face and the force that slammed Chanel's head was as powerful as her
death threat. Vanessa was beginning the process of forgiving Candy, but there was stubbornness
within her and a pain that still existed.

“I’m sorry y’all,” Chanel said to Meisha and Leah, “I gotta get the fuck away from Candy.” She stormed out of the shop.

Everyone looked at each other. The fact that Chanel needed a temporary or permanent break after being manhandled by Candy was inevitable. But her delayed response to the incident could be a signal she had reached her boiling point and would soon explode.

* * *

Vanessa strolled down Broadway on her lunch break with Mimi. She had just finished telling Mimi about the shop scene with Chanel and the video being on the Internet.

“So what you gonna do?” Mimi asked.

“What do you mean?”

“With Candy.”

Vanessa was silent.

“Guess that's a I don't know,” Mimi stated flatly.

“I love her. I know you can't understand that. But I love her and I love Rich.”

“Did you find out if she made any other tapes?”

Vanessa shook her head.

“Un fuckin' believable.”

“That didn't cross my mind.”

“Nothing seems to anymore,” Mimi said, sarcastically.

“What are you saying, Mimi?” Vanessa stopped on the crowded street.

“You buggin' the fuck out. That's what I'm saying.”

Vanessa’s eyes widened in shock. “You never cursed at me before.”

“You never was buggin' the fuck out before.”

“Mimi, I don't have to tolerate this from you.”

“You toleratin' a whole lot of shit from Candy. I been your friend for years and never did no foul shit like she been doing to you from day one.” Mimi huffed. “You know what? I don't have to tolerate you beating me in the head with ya fuckin' problems no more.”

An eerie feeling burned deep inside Vanessa's chest as she watched her best friend turn her head and walk away. She never fathomed the day Mimi would literally and figuratively turn her back on her.

Vanessa stood in the middle of Broadway, oblivious to the
people passing and the honking of car horns. All she saw was the unbelievable image of her best friend's back.

* * *

Vanessa moped back into the shop in silence. She spoke to everyone except Candy.
She needed a break from the drama that had
become her life, the drama that started the day she walked into the shop.
The unpredictable atmosphere was slowly breaking her down. She felt out of place.

Candy walked up to Vanessa. “Please, Candy. Not now.” Vanessa walked by Candy. She made her way out the front door.

“Vanessa,” Candy called, jogging behind her until they were side-by-side. “Where you going?”

Vanessa's eyes never veered from in front of her. “I need a break.” She stopped at her car
and slid behind the wheel.

“You buggin' out, Vanessa.”

Vanessa started the ignition and pulled off, never looking back at Candy.

* * *

A week had passed since Vanessa drove off Lennox Avenue in Harlem. She had kept
driving her Altima until she was at Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming. The historic park
was an oasis that her parents often took her to on vacations as a child. The tranquil place always
brought her peace. The smell of the endless marsh of grass she would play in, the canyons, the
fossil forest, the geysers—they were all things that evoked good memories for Vanessa
. She looked to the stars at night, contemplating exactly where she fit in the world. During the day, she walked barefoot through the
grass, taking in the sight of bears, elk, deer and other wildlife in the park. She slept at a nearby
motel where she meditated and pondered life in silence. Seven days of stillness with herself and
nature assured her exactly where she was in life and what direction she should travel in the future.