Lewis & Ondarko - Best Friends 03 - Now and Zen (20 page)

“I know that people have had new beginnings this week. So, now we celebrate them all. Let the party begin!”

Reaching down, she struck a match and lit the kindling.

The flames from the big log fire shot up, causing the ring of women around the pit to lean back collectively and laugh. One woman, followed by another, picked up guitars from their cases and started to play. The music was wild, gypsy sounding, almost making pictures with the notes if one stared into the fire long enough. It told stories of adventure and freedom and companionship. Pat clapped her hands, and joined in singing:

A young native woman sitting next to Pat leaned forward, holding up a small beaded drum.

“Do you think they’ll mind if I join in?”

“Make it so,” Deb responded, already enthralled by the sounds. Deb nodded her head as the drummer joined in, hesitatingly at first, and then more strongly, instinctively filling in the empty spaces. She was like a weaver adding layers to a tapestry.

Willow and then Skylar stood up and started to slowly dance. They moved without any signs of self-consciousness: a small arm up here, a head turned there, step by step, they moved in place. Gracie joined them, her face like a little sun. Girl by little girl joined in, drawn by the magic of the music, dropping their shoes off and flinging their arms into the air.

“Come on, Grandma,” Willow said, slightly impatient. “What are you waiting for? Wake up!” She stood with her hands on her small hips.

What am I waiting for indeed?
Pat thought. Getting up from the log, she took the two small hands offered. Looking over at Deb, she saw Gracie pulling her own grandmother up to dance. They danced the music of the stars, the fire, and the waves on the beach. They danced all these things and more, joining with dancing females of all ages and sizes on the crowded beach. It was as if they were one body dancing in the dark.

This must be what it’s like to fly,
Pat thought. Time stretched and slowed to the sounds so that she couldn’t even say how long they danced. Still, they danced on. She saw a gentle woman, coming around the lighted circle from the fire. She was illuminated by the glow as she bent to Pat’s daughter, Sarah, and offered her a hand.

It’s a magic night,
Pat breathed with all her will.
It’s a night to dance. Please, please, please accept her offer.
As if she heard her mother, Sarah looked across the flames and met her gaze. She sheepishly took the offered hand and started to dance. A night of new beginnings, Pat thought joyfully, her heart bursting and tears welling up in her eyes.

“Dance, Grandma, dance!” Skylar shouted, and they danced some more. Looking up at the full moon, Pat saw a crow, its beautiful blue-black feathers shining against the brightness of the full moon. She heard its cawing as it circled the fire, seeming to dance with them.

Leaving Gracie to dance, Deb sat down next to her mother, exhilarated by the dancing and the wonders before her eyes. The smoky smell of burned birch bark filled her spirit with peace. She breathed it in, remembering moments at camp as a child when all seemed well in the world.

Looking at the others gathered around the fire, she saw dancing fingers of flame reflected in their eyes. Across the fire, she noticed a young radiant woman nursing a newborn in a folding chair. Next to her sat a proud, attentive grandmother.

That’s our new baby,
Deb thought.
Born at solstice.

“What’s her name?” she asked.

“Summer Joy,” the new mother replied.

Deb got up to take a closer look.

“Oh, what a beautiful baby,” she said, touching the baby’s cheek gently.

Two long-haired teenage girls sat gossiping quietly on large rocks, twirling their flip-flops around their toes, cell phones momentarily tucked away.

In the background, the drummer’s beat was steady. A native woman stood. She had such presence everyone stilled naturally to listen. In a singsong voice she began to speak.

“Madeline Island, the medicine island, gets its name because a native woman, a chief’s daughter, fell in love with a white man. When they married, the dark robe gave her a name from the white man’s religion, Madeline. But some say she had many names before that. Mida was one of them.”

The woman’s body began to sway to the drum.

“In the days when the island had almost as many trees as the fish surrounding it, a certain summer was late in coming. The People had kept warm and safe by helping each other through the long cold winter, but the spring refused to come, and they longed for the trees to leaf out and the sand to be warm between their toes. Even the trilliums, the most brave of flowers did not show their faces. Each day passed and still the sun refused to shine but a short time. Everyone - the birds, the deer, the little children -watched for the change. When none came, the People became afraid.
What could be keeping summer?

“Finally, one morning, the chief took his daughter and called all the people together. ‘Take the children,’ he instructed Mida, ‘to the other side of the island, and ask the ancestors for help, because if summer doesn’t come soon, we will all starve.’

“The woman paused for a moment, looking to the west.

“It was cold, and some of the children complained or cried, but Mida made them continue. Finally reaching their destination, she built a big fire and as the smoke went up into the sky she sang their story, asking for help, and showing the children who would suffer if summer did not come. She pledged a bonfire and songs every solstice. Feeding the children the last of the wild rice bread, she led them back home again.

“Imagine their joy the next morning when a warm western wind blew over the island. The sun shone the longest that day that anyone could remember, and the birds sang their love songs and made nests. The trees blossomed out to hold those nests, and the deer found green grass to eat and were content.

“Filled with happiness, the People gathered together picking berries. The children ran until they lay tired by the shore, with enough fish caught to fill each and every belly. The chief suddenly realized his daughter was not there.

“‘Where is Mida?’ he cried out.

“‘I am here,’ a voice floated from the edge of the wood. Everyone turned and saw her approaching them, wild violets and trilliums wreathed in her hair. She joined them in their celebration. To this day, each year at solstice, keeping her promise, we build the fire and send up songs, and we believe she comes and brings the life of summer to her island.”

The woman sat down amid applause and smiles.

As the music waned, a few women rejoined the fire circle, while others walked to get hot chocolate at a nearby table. Deb looked through the crowd of relaxed faces and caught Pat’s eye. Seated to her right, Skylar sat on Pat’s lap. Willow was asleep at her feet. All three of them looked positively blissful.

“Grammy, I want to dance some more!” Gracie called as she stood before Deb. Deb kissed her on the forehead.

“Come sit with me for awhile,” she said, holding out her hands invitingly. “We’ll dance in our minds.”

“What does it matter?” Deb whispered to Pat. “In the end, this moment is all that is important.”

“It doesn’t matter if the retreat was chaotic,” Pat agreed, nodding her head as if telepathically connected to Deb. “It doesn’t even matter if a strange woman chooses to leave any way she wants.”

“This was a great choice,” Deb said, nodding to the circle. “I wouldn’t have done it any other way.

“Look what happened,” Pat replied, wrapping her sweatshirt tightly around Skylar against the night chill.

“We did it, girlfriend,” Deb whispered to Pat.

“Amen to that.”

Unnoticed by the happy crowd, as if on air, a woman with flowing hair continued to dance in the shadows.

In the cabin following the bonfire, Linda stood with a vacuum cleaner handle in her hand and looked around for an outlet. Music was playing from down the street. The room had an air of joyful lightheartedness. Deb, Pat and the other women were dancing and celebrating.

“Look at this mess!” Linda said in frustration.

The women stopped dancing and stared in silence at Linda for a moment. No one moved. No one seemed to know how to respond. Julie and Noreen look embarrassed. No one wanted to challenge her.

“I think I’m ready for bed after such a long day. I’d like to go back next door,” Julie suggested.

“I’ll go with you,” Noreen agreed.

“I want to walk down to the dock to look for the northern lights,” Deb suggested. “Anyone want to come?”

“I’m in!” Pat answered.

“Who’s going to watch out for the wild creatures of the night?” Carolyn wondered.

“Aw, come on you crazy women, let’s all go. There’s safety in numbers,” Julie said.

Bev walked with her walker over to Linda in silence and gave her a hug. Linda stood alone in the middle of the room, holding the handle of the vacuum.

Carolyn came back in the door and deliberately walked over to the pile of journals. She picked up the journal with the entry that Linda had read earlier and pointed to a passage.

Isn’t there more to life than duty or responsibility?

“Weren’t you the one who told us about this?” she asked compassionately. She turned around and left to rejoin the others at the dock, leaving Linda alone with her thoughts.

Linda stood stock-still.

Why aren’t I that woman?

She threw down the vacuum, grabbed her jacket, and followed the laughing voices of the others into the darkness. The dog followed her out the door.

I may not be that woman, but I can be free. I know what I’m choosing,
she thought.

The empty cabin was left with lights on, door open, and vacuum in the middle of the floor.

The women lay on the dock under the star-filled sky. Overhead, the light from the full moon enveloped them in energizing and silky iridescence.

“Ah whooo…,” Deb called loudly toward the lake, cupping her hands around her mouth.

“Sounds like a dying loon,” Julie teased. “Let me try.” She held her hands in front of her face as if in prayer and let loose with a near perfect loon call. A call came back from across the lake.

“Look! There’s the North Star!” Linda said.

“Where?” Deb asked. “Glad you made it, girlfriend,” she added, noticing Linda’s presence.

“Over there at the end of the handle for the Big Dipper,” she instructed. Deb looked up and noticed the telltale streaks of light in the northern sky.

Can it really be? Yes!

“Do you see what I see?” Deb asked, pointing upward.

“Is that northern lights?” Carolyn wondered.

“Yup. Aurora Borealis… now there’s a rare sight.”

The women stayed for a long time watching the kaleidoscopic green, white, and pink swirls of cosmic energy in the sky above them.

“It’s like watching the creation of the universe all over again,” Deb said with awe in her voice.

Linda felt a buzz in her pocket. Pulling out her phone, she noticed her husband’s picture smiling at her from the screen. Inhaling deeply of the night air, she smiled serenely and went off to answer the call.

A sudden movement drew Deb’s gaze towards the bushes down the beach. Squinting, she barely made out the dark shadow of a human form lurking off to the side, as if it was watching the women.

“Time to go back,” Deb said, suddenly feeling the night air on her neck.

There couldn’t really be someone watching us, could there?

“Is someone there?” she called out. “Why don’t you come and join us?”

The only response to her entreaty was the sound of waves lapping the shore.

The other women continued watching the night sky.

I’m not going to let some shadow wreck this whole evening,
Deb thought.

“Want me to walk back with you?” Deb offered, noticing Bev’s yawn. “Long day, huh?”

“But great,” Bev replied.

Soon, they were back in the cabin, Deb lying on the couch in front of a crackling fire in the wood stove. Her mind was ruminating on details.

“Everything has been going great. I just wish we knew what happened to that woman!” Deb exclaimed into the air above her. “It’s like a story with the last three pages missing. I just can’t leave it alone. I can’t stand the thought that someone may have been pushed off the ferry… or worse yet, jumped! If she jumped, what would cause someone to do such a thing?”

Bev listened quietly to Deb, waiting for her to finish.

“It’s just so hard for me to imagine someone doing that,” Deb finished.

A long pause fell between the two women as they looked at each other in the firelight.

“Do you remember that talk we had on the ferry?” Bev asked softly. “We were talking about some reasons why someone’s life could be bad enough for them to want to end it all.”

“Sure, I remember. I was there.”

“I believe we all have those ‘I never thought this would happen to me’ moments in our lives,” Bev said. “We can each fill in the blanks on that one. For me, it was the day I received my diagnosis.”

“I understand.” Deb nodded. “Heaven knows I have had my own share of heavy heartbreak. For me, life always seemed to snatch me back from the jaws of darkness and light a pathway out.”

“I remember the day that my doctor told me,” Bev said softly. “It felt like a death sentence. In the end, it was the beginning of the end of a long struggle over my own stubbornness, a journey towards accepting the new order.”

“I know what you mean.”

“We all have to decide whether we’re going to jump or not,” Bev chided. “We all get to choose how we see and interact with the world… as for the woman on the ferry, we may never know the last chapter. It’s her book.”

With that, Bev set down her cup of tea, leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. There would be no bad dreams chasing after her. She had defeated her demons long ago.

Deb could hear the other women giggling their way up the path.

“I’m going to bed,” Deb said. “It’s time for me to go next door. Have a good night.”

“Sweet dreams,” Bev replied.