Letting You Know (25 page)

Bethany
moved further across the field with Nicholas, filling up a can of
their own. I watched them as they circled a particularly thick trunk.

“
Hey,”
Leah said, drawing my attention. She'd cracked open one of the
pecans, holding up the meat inside. “It's okay to eat them like
this, right?”

“
Of
course.” Taking one of the chunks, I chewed it up, swallowing
with a smile. “They're really good, even just like this.”

Eagerly,
she ate the other half, looking amazed. “Oh my god, and these
are just growing on trees here? Kentucky is amazing, Deacon.”

Laughing,
I picked up more of the pecans, filling the can. “We do grow
some amazing things here.”

“
I'll
say.” Her words were low, teasing. Glancing up, I saw the
implication in her sparkling eyes.

That
was when I heard the scream.

Whipping
my head around, I found the source, even though my ears were already
realizing it had been Bethany. She was standing by the tree down the
hill, gaping at something on the cold ground in front of her.

I
was already running. I didn't need to see better to know what she was
looking at.

It's
Nicholas, oh god, what happened to Nicholas!?

Stumbling,
my knees skid on the dirt, ruining my pants; I didn't care. My
brother was on his back, but as I approached, I saw his eyes were
closed.

No
no no no no.

The
sinking feeling I had experienced the day I'd found Leah, when Owen
had been straddling her bloody body, hit me full force. The
adrenaline pumped, keeping me from feeling the pain of my scrapes.

Keeping
me from vomiting in fear.

Dropping
down beside Bethany, I saw her look at me in terror. “What
happened?” The hard edge to my voice made me sound far away to
my own ears.

Nicholas
opened his eyes, looking up at me with a grimace. “It's okay, I
just... I just fell and...”

“
He
was climbing, trying to shake more pecans down,” Bethany
blurted, words rushing out like water. She pointed up, I saw the
broken branch.

He
fell from so high...

“
I'm
really fine,” Nicholas said, forcing a tight laugh. He went to
sit up, a wince of pain contorting his face. “Shit, I think—”

“
Stop
it, stay still,” I growled, hearing feet pounding down the hill
towards us. I knew it had to be Leah and my grandfather.

My
eyes trailed over my brother's body, finally settling on the angle of
his wrist. “Nicholas, your...”

“
Yeah,”
he said quietly, “I think I broke it. Dammit, that hurts.”
The color of his face was like old cheese, green eyes watching me
with honest fear. “I can't have a broken wrist, Deacon. I
can't, I need my hands for the lab work at school.”

“
Don't
worry about that now,” I said, shaking my head rapidly. “We
need to get you to the hospital.”

“
What
happened!?” My grandfather shouted, coming to a halt beside us,
dropping to his knees. “Nicholas, are you alright?”

A
hand touched my shoulder. I didn't look, I knew it was Leah. “We
need to carry him to the truck,” I said, bending down to gather
my brother in my arms.

I
heard the hiss between his teeth, was sure he was in awful pain.
“This is embarrassing,” he said in my ear, chuckling
bitterly as I cradled him close.

“
Shut
up.” I spit the words, thinking instead about just standing
with his weight. My muscles ignored the heft of him, adrenaline still
keeping me strong and on edge.

“
I'll
call your father,” Grandad said, hurrying up the hill with a
cell phone to his ear. “He can meet us at the hospital.”

“
Nicholas,”
Bethany murmured beside me, her frail looking hands over her mouth.
Those blue eyes were welling with tears, ready to fall any second.

“
I'm
fine,” he said, balancing his injured arm against his chest.
“Deacon, you been working out?” He asked, that grin
twitching on the edges.

“
Yeah,”
I said, trying to lighten the mood. “Yeah, just for you,
actually. Knew you'd need me to carry you somewhere eventually.
Aren't you lucky?”

He
felt weightless in my arms, all the way up that slope. Below my
boots, pecans crunched sharply in the air.

It
wasn't until I had put him in the truck, the wheels squealing as we
all drove towards town, that the exhaustion began to hit me.

My
knees were raw, bleeding through my pants. The muscles in my neck
felt hard as ice; knotted and cold.

Leah,
beside me in the backseat with Bethany, gripped for my fingers. When
she found them, I pulled her close, hugging her to my side for a
moment of comfort I desperately needed.

****

The
house was quiet, tense.

After
we'd taken Nicholas to the hospital, my father meeting us there with
clear distress, the situation had been out of our hands.

“
You
guys go home,” Dad had said, explaining that Nicholas would be
fine. “He's just got a fractured wrist, there's nothing you can
do for him. I'll take care of this and bring him home later.”

That
had been hours ago, and still, no one seemed able to break the morose
aura. I sat beside Leah in the living room, my pants still ripped
over the knees. Leah had insisted I wash my wounds, going so far as
to drag me into the bathroom to do so.

I'd
sat there, numb, as she applied the bandages.

The
entire time since we'd arrived, Bethany had sat, hugging her legs to
her chest by the Christmas tree.

My
mother was fussing with my grandmother over the food cooking in the
kitchen, acting as best as they could like nothing had gone wrong
that day.

How
did this happen... how did I not see him in the tree? Why wasn't I
watching?

Inside,
I knew it wasn't my fault. It was so hard to shrug off the sensation
of being responsible for my younger brother, though.

Responsible...
as if what he does somehow reflects on me.

“
He'll
be fine,” Leah said suddenly, breaking into my thoughts. She
was staring fixedly at me, her small fingers squeezing my arm. “You
know that.”

“
Yeah,
I do. I—it just feels weird, waiting for him to come back,
knowing he's hurt.”

“
It
was my fault,” Bethany muttered.

Blinking,
I sat up stiffly, watching the blonde girl as she looked at her hands
in her lap.

“
No,
Bethany,” I argued, “it was no one's fault. He just
fell.”

“
I
should have stopped him,” she said, so quietly it was hard to
hear. “Should have told him not to climb the stupid tree.”

Leah
spoke before I could. “It doesn't matter, Bethany. Should have,
could have? It already happened... and,” she added, not halting
when those blue eyes stared at her, “he's fine. A fractured
wrist sucks, but it's better than a broken one. He'll recover.”

A
sudden 'bang' stopped our conversation, the source the front door
shutting.

All
of us jumped up, eager to see who had come back, and no doubt, all of
us hoped it would be the same person.

Nicholas
walked into the room, his right arm in a sling. The sheepish look on
his face was such a strange thing to see, for me. “What?”
He asked, staring around at us. “No welcome home banner? You
guys are awful at this.”

Bethany
restrained herself from jumping on him, but just barely. I could see
the tears falling, a split second before she buried her face in
Nicholas's shoulder.

He
leaned in, whispering in her ear over the sounds of her muffled
crying. Hugging her with one arm awkwardly, he untangled her
gingerly. Bethany stood back, rubbing her face, cheeks crimson and
wet.

His
green eyes found me next; sharp, aware. I tensed, wondering what he
might say to me. After the past days of being on the other end of his
sour moods, I didn't know what to think anymore.

Nicholas
stepped forward, wrapping his one good arm around my shoulders
roughly. “I guess I should thank you for carrying my ass up to
the truck.”

“
It
was nothing,” I sighed, deflating in the view of his
gratefulness. “I'm just relieved it wasn't worse than it was.”

“
I'm
such an idiot,” he whispered, a message that seemed just for
me. “You and I... we need to talk about everything. I think we
have some unclear tension going on. Some stuff to fix.”

Stunned,
I pulled back, catching the pure look of regret on his face.

Then
it was gone, vanishing in the wake of my father stepping into the
room. “Hey guys,” he said, voice terse. “Everyone
can calm down, Nicholas will be fine.” He narrowed his eyes at
my brother and I, speaking flatly. “He's very lucky.”

“
Yeah,”
Nicholas mumbled, stepping around us all, heading for the kitchen. “I
feel lucky.”

Watching
him go, how tight his movements were, I wondered what he meant. My
father hesitated, then followed after him, saying nothing more.

Am
I crazy, or is that the first time I've ever seen my dad openly
disapprove of something my brother has done?

By
the time we got around to finishing dinner, the vibe in the house had
returned to one of jovial cheer.

Nicholas
made light of his injury, allowing everyone else to play along and
enjoy the evening. It wasn't long before we were all gathered in the
living room, sitting together in a circle with the Christmas tree
glowing.

Leah
was snuggled next to me, her knee touching mine in the most casual
expression of affection we could get away with. While my feelings for
her, my deep love of the girl, were clear to me, I knew my parents
still deserved the respect of not being so openly brazen.

“
Now,”
my grandmother said, shuffling until she was sitting beside the pile
of presents, “it seems a good enough time to finally begin
this. I'm sure you're all excited, hm?”

“
Yeah,”
Nicholas agreed, grinning from where he was reclined against the
couch. “I've been waiting all year.”

Our
grandmother chuckled, then began handing out packages. Nicholas got
his first, then I took mine. Beside me, Leah smiled, leaning in to
squint at the wrapping.

Her
expression shifted from being intrigued, to becoming uneasy the
moment a gift was held out to her. “Here you go, dear,”
my grandmother said.