Letters to Katie (5 page)

Katherine wiped the tears away as she left the house and went to search for Chris.
It was nearly dawn. During the hours and hours of excruciating labor, Katherine had
kept up a steady stream of prayer, but her growing sense of helplessness did not abate.
Now it was over, and she had to tell Chris what happened.

In the grayish light of sunrise she could see a dim light burning in the barn. She
walked toward it, breathing in the damp morning air. When she entered she saw Chris
and Johnny, each of them sitting on a hay bale, their heads hung low, their lips moving
in silent prayer.

Her gaze drifted to Johnny, taking in the concentration on his face as he prayed for
his twin sister. The familiar sting of unrequited love reared up inside her. She shoved
it down.

“Chris?”

Both men stood, but Katherine kept her gaze on Mary Beth’s husband. Weariness and
worry had left gray circles underneath his eyes. He moved to Katherine.

“Mary Beth? The
boppli
?”

Katherine took his hand. Tears started to flow again. “Chris, they’re both fine.
Geh
meet your
dochder
.”

Johnny let out a whoop while Chris’s hand went limp in Katherine’s. He nodded and
ran out of the barn. Katherine started to follow him, ignoring Johnny as she had vowed
to do.

“Katie?”

She stopped. He had never called her that before. She turned around. He looked as
tired as she felt.

“You stayed here all night?” he asked.

Katherine nodded. “She’s
mei
best friend. Although I couldn’t do much but pray.”

“That means a lot.” He glanced away. “To Mary Beth. To all of us. I mean, uh, I’m
sure it will mean a lot when she finds out.”

Katherine nodded. As always things were awkward between them, and it was mostly her
fault. If she hadn’t chased him so incessantly, hadn’t been so pathetic in her yearning
for him, he might not run the other way every time she was near. They might have been
friends.

But he wasn’t running now. He hadn’t moved. Instead he continued to stare at her.

Katherine turned away. She couldn’t afford to overanalyze a simple look. Still he
stared at her, the way . . .

The way Isaac did
.

The thought dropped into her mind unbidden: There were other men in the world. Johnny
Mullet wasn’t the only one.

Johnny couldn’t stop staring at Katherine.

In his weariness he’d slipped and called her Katie. It was how he referred to her
in his mind. There were many Katherines in Middlefield, but only one Katie Yoder.

“I better get home. I’m sure
mei
parents are worried about me,” she said, turning away.

He didn’t want her to go. But he wasn’t ready to tell her the truth. Not yet. “Katherine?”

“Ya?”
she asked, not facing him.

“
Danki
. For staying with
mei schweschder
.”

She nodded and hurried out of the barn. Away from him.

He leaned against the thick barn post. The horses whinnied in their stalls, signaling
their hunger. “Just a minute,” he said softly. He gathered his thoughts and his energy.
If he was tired, he could only imagine what Mary Beth had gone through.

Actually, he’d rather not imagine it.

He said a prayer of thanks that his sister and niece were well, then turned to take
care of the horses. Despite his exhaustion, he couldn’t quit grinning. He was an uncle
now. Hard to believe. He couldn’t wait to meet his niece.

As he fed the horses and cleaned up the barn, he said another prayer of thanks. Things
were going well. He had his own place, and in a few months, the start of a horse farm.
His sister and her baby were fine. And Katie—each day he was closer to telling her
his real feelings. To starting the future he had dreamed of the past few months.

His life couldn’t get any better.

C
HAPTER
4

“I’m sorry,
sohn
. I wish I didn’t have to do this.”

Johnny froze in disbelief as Gideon Bender spoke. Just this morning he was counting
his blessings. Two hours later his boss yanked the rag rug from under his boots.

“But I thought business was picking up.” He looked around the small shop, filled with
broken machines in need of repair.

“It is. But other businesses aren’t.” Bender wiped his grease-covered hands on an
old towel and flung it onto a nearby workbench. “John, Zach lost his job at Kline’s
buggy shop. Kline laid him off yesterday.”

A knot of dread formed in Johnny’s gut.

“You’re like
familye
to me. I hope you know that. But
mei
sohn
has a
frau
and
kinn
to take care of. He needs the work. He needs my help.”

So do I
.

“You understand,
ya
? Business is
gut
, but I don’t have enough work to keep both of you.” He glanced away, running
his thumb against the dirty Formica countertop. “I can give you two more weeks.”

“That’s it?” The words thawed Johnny’s body. He clasped his hands behind his head,
not caring anymore how desperate he looked. Or sounded.

“I wish it could be different. You’ve been loyal to me and the job. I’ve always appreciated
that.” His expression turned grim. “You have a
gut
work ethic, more so than my
sohn
had. At least at first. But Zach’s come around. He’s grown into a fine
mann
.” Bender’s throat bobbed.

Johnny was familiar with the strife between father and son, strife that had lessened
over the years, especially after Zach married Ruth Byler and became a father. But
Johnny hadn’t thought he’d be replaced. He knew Zach had been happy at the buggy shop.
Like Johnny had been happy working here.

Bender sighed. “I don’t see any other way. I can’t abandon
mei
own
familye
.”

Johnny nodded, swallowing the stone lodged in his throat. “I know.”

“If you need a recommendation, I’ll be happy to give you one.” The old man’s weary
gaze finally met Johnny’s.

A recommendation.

Johnny gritted his teeth. A recommendation wouldn’t pay to fix the house or rebuild
the barn. It wouldn’t provide grain for his horse or food for his own table. Only
a week had passed since he bought the farm, and he’d barely started work on it. Without
a job, he couldn’t afford to do anything.

“Here are your past two weeks’ wages.” Bender handed him a check.

Johnny looked at the amount, and his last shred of hope crumbled. Enough to last him
two or three weeks of living on his own, taking care of his basic needs and not much
more. He’d have one more check, then that would be it. Less than a month to find another
job—and jobs were hard to come by. Even Caleb was struggling to find work—he hadn’t
had a steady job since he graduated from school three years ago.

Even in the midst of his own desperation, Johnny couldn’t hold this against Bender.
He could see the man was struggling with the decision.
“Danki,”
he said, folding the check and putting it in his pocket. Then he held out his hand.
After a moment’s hesitation, Bender shook it.

“Don’t thank me. You earned every penny.” He paused before touching Johnny’s shoulder.
“I hope you know this isn’t personal. It’s just business.” Johnny could only nod.
Bender turned away, snatched up a screwdriver from the toolbox, and began working
on a generator a customer had brought in last week. The conversation ended as quickly
as he’d ended Johnny’s employment.

During the day Johnny tried to focus on repairing a wringer washer, but his mind kept
drifting. Where would he find another job? He would start at the woodshop first. Maybe
Sawyer’s family was hiring. But the only job they ever seemed to hire out for was
the office position, and Laura, Sawyer’s girl, already had that job.

Bitterness surged inside him. His dream was slipping away before he’d had a chance
to make it come true.

At five o’clock he picked up his still-full lunch cooler and left the shop. As the
sun dipped behind the roof of Bender’s
shop, Johnny tossed the cooler into his buggy and climbed inside.

When he reached home he pulled into the driveway and parked the buggy outside the
decrepit barn. It reminded him of the old barn Sawyer had hid in when he was fourteen,
the year his parents died and he ran away from foster care. Mary Beth had found Sawyer
there, and he and Johnny had become best of friends.

For the first time that day Johnny’s mood lifted. Sawyer would get him a job at the
Bylers’—even something part-time would be a start. He could trust his friend to help
him out. And he would continue to look—and pray—for other work to turn up.

But he had to find something soon.

He couldn’t fail. Everything hinged on this horse farm.

Everything.

Katherine sat at the kitchen table, piecing together pale green and white squares
of fabric. Another baby quilt, this time for her friend Rachel, who was expecting
a baby in the summer. Katherine was nineteen and Johnny had just turned twenty, but
many of their friends had already married or were paired off.

She sighed and her fingers slipped. The needle plunged into the pad of her thumb.

“Ow.” She brought her thumb to her mouth just as her younger sister, Bekah, came into
the kitchen. Bekah grabbed a cookie from the plate on the counter.

“I think
Mamm’s
taking those to the Mullets later today.”

“She won’t miss just one.” Bekah leaned against the counter and bit into the soft
cookie. “You look tired.”

“I am.” Fatigue wrapped around Katherine as she bent over the quilt. But the work
kept her mind off Johnny.

She had dreamed about him the few hours she slept. Again. She didn’t remember much
of the dream, but he’d been there. During the day she could keep her mind occupied
with other things, but she couldn’t control him in her subconscious.

“That’s great news about Mary Beth,” Bekah said. “What did she name the
boppli
?”