Lethal Consequences (18 page)

Yeah, no shit. He swallowed hard and lowered the bottle, not wanting to think about that too much. “So I suppose I have you to thank for sending in the cavalry.”

“Just doing my job”

No, she hadn’t been. She’d gone above and beyond her job, like always. “How’d you know?”

“You didn’t make your flight.”

“And Olivia?”

She shrugged one graceful shoulder in the thin cotton tank. “A hunch.”

A good one. He shook his head, amazed as always. “You and your hunches.”

“Rarely wrong,” she said with a lift of her brow and a victorious grin.

“I know. Drives Ryder nuts.”

“The only joy in my day.” She sighed. “Anyway . . . When I found out Olivia had taken a leave from her teaching job, I called your hotel. Another hunch. And when she didn’t respond to her cell and you missed your flight without notice—which is extremely unlike you—I knew something had to be amiss.”

He found it a little disturbing that Marley hadn’t assumed he’d whisked Olivia off for a secret romantic holiday. But then, Marley knew him better than most. And this time he was thankful. “Is it too much to hope you didn’t alert my CO at the DIA that I was running all over Sardinia with a terrorist cell on my tail?”

“No one contacted the DIA. As far as they’re concerned, you’re still on track to show next week for work.”

Relief rushed through him. Followed by a shot of dread when Landon thought about reporting back to the DIA.

“How did Wolfe know we were in Sardinia?” he asked, pushing that thought aside. “Olivia said Eve and Zane were already on their way when she got to a phone.”

“Oh, well. That wasn’t me. That was Eve. She slipped a GPS device into Olivia’s purse.”

Landon chuckled. Okay, yeah, Eve was officially worse than him. He looked down at the label on the bottle in his hands and picked at the right corner with his thumbnail.

“Things seem a little tense between you and Olivia,” Marley said after several seconds of silence. “Anything you want to talk about?”

Landon’s hand hesitated against the bottle. He’d already spilled more to Archer in the car than he should have ever said. He didn’t want to get into it with Marley. “She’s fine. And she’ll be better when she gets the hell out of here. Aegis is going to need to set up security for her back home for a while. I’ll foot the bill.”

“Oh, please. Like Jake will let you. Olivia’s family. Don’t worry about that.”

Warmth slid through Landon’s chest. Just knowing someone would be looking out for Olivia when he was gone eased his stress, if only a touch.

Marley folded her arms over her chest. “Okay, start talking. Eve mentioned the Red Brotherhood when she called from the jet.”

Confessing how he’d screwed up that op over a year ago was way easier than spilling what had happened between him and Olivia. When he was done telling Marley everything he’d told Olivia the other night, Marley sighed. “And is it fair of me to assume you know exactly where this Danica Crossler is hiding?”

“Yes. It’s fair.”

She was quiet for a second, then said, “What are you going to do when you get to her?”

“Get her somewhere safe. She’s not careful. Not like she should be. It’s a wonder no one’s found her yet the way she lives. I owe her that much.” The same way he owed Olivia.

No, he realized. Not the same way. His need to keep Olivia safe had nothing to do with guilt and everything to do with the way she made him feel.

“And then?” Marley asked.

The question knocked him back from a slew of emotions he wasn’t sure he wanted to face right now. Especially not on several shots of 151 and Xanax.

But there was always a “then.” Landon blew out a long breath, appreciating the fact Marley understood that. “Then I need to figure out how the Red Brotherhood knows she isn’t dead.”

“You think someone with the DIA told them?”

“It’s possible.” He considered for a moment. “If someone on the inside is compromised. But here’s the kicker: I’m the only one who knew she was still alive. And I sure as shit didn’t tell anyone before I went out on leave.”

“Which means,” Marley said slowly, “someone must have seen the two of you together after the fact.”

“Yeah. Or someone else was there the day her parents died, and I just didn’t know.”

Ryder stepped back into the room with a somber Archer at his side before Marley could answer. “He looks a little more relaxed. The Xanax must be working.”

Marley glanced over her shoulder, her expression shifting from easy to tense in a split second—something Landon found incredibly interesting in his increasingly foggy head. Did she always tense up like that when Ryder was around, or was he seeing things?

“That or the alcohol,” Marley answered. “But I’m still going to need your help.”

She pushed to her feet, and Landon stiffened all over again when he realized it was showtime.

“So this is how things are going to play out,” Marley said as the men moved close, taking charge of the situation like she did everything else. “One of you will need to hold his upper body still, the other his legs. I don’t need him freaking out and nailing me in the side of the head when I’m digging for the bullet.”

Digging?
Fuuuuck.

“I’m not gonna freak out,” Landon interrupted.

Marley huffed. “You can barely handle a blood draw, Bull. I had to drag your ass to your last physical for Aegis, remember? It wasn’t pretty.”

She was right. It hadn’t been pretty at all. Landon scowled and took another deep drink. In the heat of the moment, when bullets were flying and his adrenaline was pumping, he could handle any kind of pain—barely felt it, in fact—but in a clinical setting like this, even something as small as a needle set him on edge.

He was suddenly glad Olivia was nowhere close so she couldn’t hear him scream like a little girl.

He knocked back another long pull, clutched the neck of the bottle with his hand, and held the cool glass to his chest like a safety blanket.

Marley lifted a shiny silver scalpel from the table—one Landon wished like hell he hadn’t seen. Ryder moved behind him and wrapped an arm around his chest, his muscles flexing hard as he held Landon tight to the chair. Archer pinned his legs.

“Ready?” Marley asked when they both had a good grip, looking each of them in the eye in turn.

Fuck no.
Landon would never be ready for this shit.

Ryder and Archer both nodded. Drawing a deep breath, Marley leaned close.

And as a searing pain ripped through Landon’s biceps, he squeezed his eyes tight and imagined the only person who seemed to keep him grounded these days. The only one who ever had.

He thought of Olivia.

“
So I don’t know what to tell him. Every time he brings it up, I change the subject.”

Olivia tugged down the black T-shirt Eve had brought her and smoothed it over the clean jeans she’d already pulled on. After showing her to one of the many guest rooms in Ryder’s giant house, Eve had left Olivia to shower and change, but she hadn’t gone far. She was currently perched on the end of the bed just beyond the bathroom door, rambling on about . . .

Dang. Olivia couldn’t even remember now.

“Why?” she called, figuring that was a safe question. As Eve started babbling again, Olivia spritzed body spray all over, then ran her fingers through her freshly dried hair. A frown pulled at her lips as she took in her reflection.

Her eyes looked tired, sunken-in, totally worn down even with the tiny bit of mascara she’d slapped on. The familiar scent Eve had brought her made her feel more normal, but the frayed ends of her hair weren’t helping matters. She should have gotten a quick trim before she’d flown all the way to Spain, but the minute she’d heard that Landon’s assignment was almost over, she’d jumped on that plane, afraid she might miss him if she waited.

“So . . . if you’re not thinking I’m a simple fool, then what are you thinking?”

Her words in that church, when they’d been waiting for Eve and Zane, echoed back to her. Followed by Landon’s answer.

“I’m thinking I’m so screwed it’s not even funny. Because I’m—”

He hadn’t gotten to finish that sentence. Because he
what
?

Heat rippled through her veins, just like it had when she’d been waiting for more. The way he’d looked at her then. The way he’d looked at her as Marley had been pulling him away to work on his injury only an hour ago. They were the same. And the memory of both burned her cheeks because she sensed whatever he’d been about to say was something she needed to hear.

“Did you fall in, Olivia?”

Eve’s voice startled Olivia, and she gave herself a mental slap
and then smoothed her hands over her hair. “No. I was just”—
fantasizing, stressing, going out of my freakin’ mind
—“thinking.”

She pushed the bathroom door open and worked up a half smile she didn’t feel—for Eve’s sake. “Sorry. What were you saying?”

Eve frowned and tucked a dark lock of hair behind her ear. “I was saying . . . I’m not sure what to tell him.”

“Tell who?”

“Archer.”

Right. Pull your head out and focus, Olivia
.

Eve was working hard to keep the conversation normal and not talk too much about Olivia’s most recent “ordeal,” but Olivia really didn’t have any interest in chitchatting right now. She wanted to find Landon. “About what?”

Eve rolled her eyes. “Oh my God, you really weren’t paying attention. A
bout”—Eve waved her hands—“forever. About getting . . .”
She swallowed hard. “Married.”

“
Oh.” Olivia’s eyes flew wide when the words registered. “
O
h
!” She rushed over to sit next to her sister on the end of the bed. “He
propose
d
?”

“No.” Horror flashed across Eve’s features, and panic choked her voice. “No, thank God. Not yet, anyway. But he’s definitely feeling me out about it.”

Olivia’s brain still wasn’t working right after everything she’d been through, but slowly, un
derstanding dawned. “And I take it you’re not wild about that idea.”

Eve pushed to her feet and paced to the window. “I just don’t know. I mean, marriage is so . . . forever.”

“Well, that’s kind of the point, isn’t it?” Olivia turned to look at her sister and knew her voice was harsher than it should be, but she couldn’t seem to keep the animosity at bay. Eve’s biggest problem was that the man of her dreams—the one who’d risked his life for her, multiple times, the one who clearly worshipped the ground she walked on—wanted to spend the rest of his life making her happy, and that wasn’t good enough for her?

Anger simmered through Olivia’s veins. She wanted
that
problem over the hundreds of other issues bearing down on her. She wanted any problem that dealt with real life and not the hell she’d been living these last few days.

“I don’t expect you to understand,” Eve said, crossing her arms over her chest as she looked out at the view.

No, of course she wouldn’t. Because in Eve’s eyes, Olivia was still the simple schoolteacher who’d never done anything important with her life. She pushed to her feet. “I don’t have to be a superspy like you to understand you’re being selfish.”

Eve’s head whipped Olivia’s way. “
Wha
t
?”

A tiny voice warned Olivia to back off, that this didn’t concern her, but she couldn’t seem to stop herself. Something was building in her—something she didn’t understand but which was changing her in fundamental ways. “You’ve got a man—no, an incredible man—who loves you. A man who loved you even when he thought you were a traitor. A man who was ready to give up not only his career but his life for you even before he had proof you were innocent. And your biggest concern is how long marriage is supposed to last? There’s something seriously wrong with that line of thinking.”

Eve sighed. “Olivia—”

“No, don’t ‘Olivia’ me. Yes, marriage is supposed to be forever, and yeah, maybe we didn’t get to see that because Mom died, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t last. If you’re scared you’re gonna screw it up, then admit you’re scared. But don’t hide behind this bullshit excuse that forever is too damn long. Because it’s not. I’d love to have that problem staring me in the face. I’d love, for once, to know what it feels like to have someone love me enough to want to spend forever with me. It’s a blessing, not a burden, Eve. Maybe instead of thinking about all the things that could go wrong if you gave in to what we both know you really want, you should try thinking about all the things that will go right when you finally open your eyes to what’s in front of you.”

Eve stared at her sister, her expression filled with surprise and disbelief. “I . . . I didn’t mean to . . . I wasn’t trying to . . . trivialize any of what you’ve gone through. I’m just . . .” She sucked in a deep breath and blew it out. “I am scared. I always screw things up. And I just . . . I don’t want to do that with Zane.”

“So don’t.”

Eve’s gaze skipped over Olivia’s face, and Olivia knew what her sister was thinking.
Easier said than done.
But it wasn’t. Not in this case, at least. If you loved someone, you went for it. You didn’t let fear hold you back.

So what’s holding you back?

Olivia only just barely swallowed the pathetic huff as the thought circled in her brain. The situation with Landon was way different. First of all, he wasn’t in love with her, and secondly . . .

Gah. She rubbed a hand over her brow. She could come up with a million “seconds.” His job, the woman she’d found in his hotel room, the terrorists he’d pissed off, the mystery woman he clearly had some kind of relationship with. She knew she could go on, but her head hurt too much to keep thinking.

“Liv.” Eve moved away from the window, closer to Olivia standing at the end of the bed. “I know it’s not the time, but can I ask you something?”

Startled out of yet another tornado of thought, Olivia looked toward her sister. “Ask me what?”

Eve’s brow dropped. “What were you thinking? Spain?”

The animosity that had started to slip away came raging back, and Olivia’s spine stiffened. “What bothers you more, Eve? That I left my job and flew all the way to Europe? Or that I did it to see Landon?”

“Both. Because neither is like you.”

“Well, maybe they should be.”

“Look, I know you like Miller, but he’s—”

Oh great, here comes the judgment.
“Landon is what?”

Eve sighed, her expression one of simplicity, as if she were talking to a child rather than a full-grown adult. “Miller is not what you think.”

Olivia was sick of this. Sick of being babied. Eve had been doing it her whole life, and it had only gotten worse since Seattle. “I know exactly what Landon is.”

“No, you don’t,” Eve said in that sickeningly sweet voice, the one she used when she thought Olivia was getting worked up. “If you knew who he used to work for, you’d—”

“I know he worked for the DIA,” Olivia snapped. “I know what he did for them. And I know he
still
works for them. Which I bet is news to you, isn’t it?”

Eve’s mouth snapped closed, and her eyes widened, just a touch, confirming . . . yep. Eve had no idea.

“But I also know his heart’s not in it,” Olivia went on, unable to stop. “And though, yeah, it kinda freaks me out to think of some of the things he’s done, I can’t condemn him for it either. Because if I do, I’ll have to condemn you too. You told me once you’d done things with the CIA you’re not proud of. Things you thought you were doing for the good of the whole. That’s no different from him.”

“Liv.” Eve swallowed and gently reached for her sister’s hand. “You’re right. And I’m not saying he’s a bad person. He’s not. I told you before there’s no one I’d trust more with my life than Miller. But he’s . . .”

Her gaze skipped around the room, and Olivia knew her sister was afraid to finish the sentence. But dammit, Olivia was so sick and tired of being coddled. “He’s what, Eve? Just spit it out.”

Eve’s dark gaze settled back on Olivia, only instead of shock and pity, this time Olivia saw truth. A sad truth she suddenly wasn’t sure she wanted to hear.

“He’s broken, Liv. There’s no other way to say it. Guys like Miller . . . They aren’t whole. Whatever emotion he once had, the DIA trained out of him so he could focus on the job he has to do. Jobs that are dark, ugly, dirty ones none of us would even consider. They can’t afford for guys like him to be worrying about right and wrong and someone else’s feelings when they’re in a life or death situation. When the safety of thousands rests on their shoulders.”

She squeezed Olivia’s hands. “Look, I like Landon. Deep down I know he’s a good guy, and I don’t doubt that he cares for you in some way, but I guarantee he doesn’t know what to do with it. And honestly, I’d be afraid if he did. You’re not part of his real world, Olivia. Not if he’s really still with the DIA. You’re a distraction. And even if he were free to do what he wanted, he’s not the kind of guy a girl can have a happily ever after with. It’s not a part of who he is anymore.”

Olivia’s throat grew thick. Eve had just confirmed every one of her fears, but she still didn’t want to believe it. “Y-you don’t know that for sure.”

“I do.” Eve’s eyes darkened. “I’ve worked with guys like this. It’s not what the DIA does to them, it’s who they are. They recruit certain backgrounds. People who come from broken homes and who already have vague morality lines. It’s not just training you’re fighting against here. It’s his entire human makeup. You can’t change a person’s past, Liv. You can’t change who he fundamentally is inside, no matter how much you want to. I know you’ve worked up this fantasy in your head about him because he saved your life in Seattle, but that’s not real. He’s not real. The last few days have to have shown you that.”

Olivia’s mind skipped back over those days. To the way Landon had kissed her when she’d shown up at his hotel in Barcelona. To the anger and fear radiating off him when she’d come back for him at that compound instead of escaping like he’d told her to do. To the look in his eyes when he’d been watching her in that church.

No. Eve was wrong. Yes, he might be broken, but then . . . wasn’t she? She had to believe that someone as screwed up as Landon still had a chance to be happy. Because if he didn’t, then that meant she was doomed as well.

She swallowed hard and slowly pulled her hand from her sister’s grip. “The last few days showed me I’m not who you all think I am.”

“Olivia—”

“No.” She stepped back. “I understand your concern, Eve, but this isn’t about you. And it’s not about my relationship with Landon. It’s about me. And while I appreciate your coming all the way out here to find me, what I choose to do and with whom I choose to do it is none of your business. Not anymore. If you want to be a part of my life, then you’re just going to have to deal with that reality.”

She moved for the door, but Eve’s hand on her arm stopped her. “Wait. Where are you going?”

“For a walk. I need some space right now.”

“Liv,” Eve said softly. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to upset you. I’m just—”

Olivia faced her sister, her frustration easing just a touch. “You’re worried. I get that. But I’m not a child. I’m your sister. I’m gonna make mistakes. I’m gonna get my heart broken. But that’s part of life, and you can’t protect me from it. You and Landon, you both think I’m some fragile flower that can’t even stand a slight breeze, but I can. And I’m done sitting back listening to what you both think is best for me. I’m old enough to make my own decisions.”