Let Me Hold You (11 page)

Roland returned the kiss with interest and this time there was no interruption as he slipped his hand under her sweater and slid it deftly over her head. His sweater followed it, and then her pants came off. He was about to remove his jeans but he paused to go to his dresser and retrieve something. He sat behind Alana on the bed so that she was between his legs and he held the object up so she could see it.

It was the most astounding necklace she’d ever seen. On a thin rose-gold chain dangled a beautiful teardrop that had four bands of tiny stones intersecting at the top and bottom. The teardrop was a soft rose quartz and the tiny diamonds were cinnamon and chocolate-colored. Alana gasped in surprise.

“Do you like it?”

“I love it,” she said softly. She touched it with one finger and sighed. “It’s so amazing, Roland. How can I ever thank you?”

“You don’t have to thank me. You just have to enjoy it, honey.” He fastened the clasp and she turned around to show him how it looked. He was so busy looking at the expression on her face that he didn’t pay much attention to the necklace, other than noticing how pretty the rose gold looked against her skin.

She picked up the teardrop with her fingers and looked down at it before leaning forward to kiss him again. Unfastening the front of her champagne-colored strapless bra, she tossed it onto the bed and said, “One of us is overdressed. What are you going to do about that?”

In about ten seconds, he showed her.

* * *

“Come here, gorgeous,” Roland said in a low, sexy growl.

He was now magnificently bare and ready for her. Alana had one knee on the edge of the bed and one hand on one of the thick posts of the four-poster bed. She looked both sexy and innocent, wearing only her thong and the necklace. She held out her free hand and he took it, pulling her on top of him. The contact with his warm skin made her melt against him.

“Mmm, baby, you feel so good,” she whispered. “You’re so warm. Why are you so warm? Are you a werewolf or something?”

His deep laugh made his pecs move in a way that made her sensitized nipples bloom even more. Her hips began to move as she sought to get even closer to him.

“I’m not a lycan, sweetheart, but I’m pretty sure that you’re some kind of witch because you drive me crazy. I’m hot because you make me that way. I’m going to have to start wearing a cup all day because I think about you and my pal jumps to attention. And I think about you all day, so that’s a problem.”

She acknowledged the compliment with a giggle and confessed that she had the same issue. “Miss Alana can’t seem to behave herself when you’re on my mind.”

He turned so that she was on the bottom and began to lick his way down her neck, stopping when he reached the critical spot between her breasts. Suddenly he stopped, which made her gasp in frustration.

“Who is Miss Alana?”

By way of answer she took his hand and placed it on the moist spot between her legs. “Meet Miss Alana. She likes you a lot and she’s getting impatient.”

Roland tried to hold in his laughter, but failed miserably. “That’s another reason I love you. I’ve never met a woman who could make me laugh and arouse me at the same time. And I really don’t want to keep Miss Alana waiting,” he said before going back to the task at hand.

He tongued the space between her breasts while sliding his hand into her thong and exploring the moist treasure that awaited him. When he moved his mouth to her nipple, he began to manipulate her nub, stroking it over and over while licking and sucking her in the same rhythm until he could feel her begin to throb. When the movement of her hips grew more fevered and she was moaning and sighing and saying his name, he relented slightly and changed positions. He kissed his way down to her navel, lingering there while he removed her thong at last, burying his face between her legs.

Her first orgasm came within seconds; he’d barely begun to taste her sweetness when he felt her juices begin to flow and her tight muscles contract. Her back arched and he put his hands under her smooth rounded bottom so that he could hold her against his mouth; he wasn’t finished yet. The more she trembled and cried out, the more he tasted and tongued her, drinking in everything she offered.

He used his tongue to explore her over and over until she came apart in his hands two more times. He finally joined their bodies in one swift motion while she wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms went around his neck. Their bodies moved as one, pumping and thrusting as he rose to his knees so he could penetrate her even more deeply. The friction increased until a mutual climax rocked them into the most intense sensation Roland had ever experienced.

They collapsed onto the bed in a sweaty, trembling tangle, their bodies heaving as the tremors gradually slowed down.

Alana’s head was cradled on Roland’s shoulder and he held her as though she was his entire world, tenderly and tightly. He kissed her sweet-smelling hair as they lay entwined, bathed in the soft glow of the lamp.

Sleep seemed to be the next step but neither one of them was ready to let go of the moment. Alana’s hand stroked his chest in slow circles, palming his still-hard nipple and sending waves of sensation through his body. He caught her fingers in his hand and kissed them.

“We’re using protection from now on, sweetheart. If it’s not too late,” he murmured.

“What does that mean?” Her voice sounded sexy, sleepy and satisfied.

“I think we might have just made a baby, Alana. I never felt anything like that before. I’ve always heard that when you love someone you know when it happens.”

Alana’s body went still and he could hear an odd distance grow when she spoke. “I don’t think so, Roland. I don’t think I can have a child. Ever.”

Chapter 10

M
ost men would have been happy to hear that they’d dodged the bullet of fatherhood, but Roland wasn’t most men. He was a man who was completely in love for the first time in his adult life and anything that affected the woman he loved affected him deeply.

He was calm and supportive as Alana explained that the bullet that had ended her baby’s brief life had left scarring that could prevent her from carrying another child. Her recitation of the facts was short and to the point with almost no emotion in her voice. They were still naked in the bed as she told him; he was propped up on the big down pillows and she was still in his arms.

“And that’s that,” she ended simply. “I haven’t been back to the gynecologist for any testing because it didn’t matter to me. I knew that after I lost Sam and our baby that I was done with all of it. I was never going to be involved with another man and it just wasn’t important. I was through with love, with marriage, with men, everything,” she said, raising one small hand and dropping it lifelessly. She moved so that she was looking directly at him.

“But then my beautiful sister met a wonderful man named Jared. And Jared fell in love with her and introduced her to his loving family and his best friend. So I got to meet his best friend who is handsome and caring and sexy and sweet. He’s very patient, too, because I wasn’t interested in him or any other man,” she said in a soft, loving tone. “I was completely wrong about that, the way I’ve been wrong about a lot of things in my life. And he jumped over the wall I’d hidden behind for so long and he rescued me. I fell madly in love with him and he makes me feel like the most amazing woman in the world. I would give anything to make him as happy as he makes me, but I don’t know if a baby is a part of the package. I just don’t know,” she sighed.

Roland studied her face, loving every feature and desiring her even more than before. When she finished talking he tipped her chin up so that he could kiss her. It wasn’t a long kiss, but it was powerful—sweet and binding. “We’ll deal with it when we need to. In the meantime, what comes first, more lovemaking, dessert or a hot bath?”

Her eyes sparkled and she said, “Dessert!” with a teasing smile.

“Whatever your heart desires, my love,” he said.

After he put on a robe and went to get dessert, Alana got out of the bed and tidied it up, thinking all the while that she was a very, very lucky woman.

* * *

Even after the intense conversation they’d had, the next few weeks seemed to fly by for both Alana and Roland. They fell into a routine that was extremely pleasant; evenings spent in just being together, a housewarming party at Adrienne’s and a birthday party for Lucas.

Today was no exception; the women were meeting at Alexis’s house for their annual clothing and cosmetic swap while the guys were at the loft watching ESPN until it was time to head to work. They were also dog-sitting since the sight of so many shoes and pretty clothes might prove too tempting for the doggies, especially Domino, who was still having a love affair with anything that sparkled.

So the loft was filled with Sherri and Lucas’s Westies, Jared and Alexis’s corgis and Domino and they were all having a ball running around on the hardwood floors, chasing each other when they weren’t going from lap to lap getting their ears scratched and sneaking smooches.

At the moment, Domino was happily enjoying Royce’s company, flirting for all she was worth. Jared and Roland were in the kitchen having a long talk while Lucas entertained the corgis.

The Westies were chasing each other from one end of the loft to the other and playing a masterful game of hide-and-seek. Royce raised an eyebrow at Lucas.

“I’ve never been around men who like being married as much as you and your brother,” he said frankly.

Lucas grinned at him. “I know, a lot of people think the men in my family are kinda weird that way, but it works for us.”

Royce wiped one of Domino’s more passionate kisses away while assuring Lucas that he meant just the opposite. “No, man, I was paying you a compliment,” he assured him. “I envy the two of you. From the looks of things, Roland is going to be the next to take the vows and he’s gonna be walking around with that twenty-four-hour Colgate smile just like you VanBurens. I’ma be honest with you—I’ve reached a point in my life where I want what you have. I’m tired of dating, I’m tired of relationships and I want a family of my own.”

Lucas looked impressed with his friend’s honesty. “Half the battle—no, three-quarters of the battle is knowing what you want. Now you just have to get after it. Alana still has two single sisters, you know. And they’re both fine. Beauty runs deep in that family, man, as well as brains and personality. You really couldn’t ask for more,” he said with the smile of a man who already has more than his share of love and happiness.

Royce nodded his head thoughtfully and said, “Odd that you should mention those ladies, Lucas. I have a definite interest in one of the Sharp sisters, as a matter of fact. I’ve been using my workload as an excuse, but it’s time to get a move on.”

Lucas raised his glass of iced tea high in a brotherly salute. “Get on it. As my daughter told me when she asked me to marry her mother, ‘No pain, no gain, no gain, no glory.’ Go for it, and may the force be with you, dude.”

Their laughter could be heard in the kitchen where Jared and Roland were deep in conversation. Jared rubbed his unshaven cheek and grinned at his oldest and closest friend. He could tell from the way Roland kept glancing at the clock and fiddling with his cell phone that something was on his mind.

“You’ve got it real bad, man. You’re as bad as I was before I put a ring on it. You’re counting the minutes until you see your baby. Don’t deny it,” he warned him in a teasing voice.

Roland frowned at his friend. “I’m not trying to deny anything, Jared. Yeah, I got it bad and yeah, I’m thinking about Alana. You’ve been through it. You know what it’s like to wake up without her next to you, especially when you have one of those red-hot dreams about her. You start to feel like some kind of perverted stalker because you’re thinking about her 24/7, wondering where she is, what she’s doing, how she’s feeling. Whoever said that men run the world is a damned liar because you and I both know that women are the ones in control,” he said glumly.

“And before you get on my case, remember that I’m the one who had to drive down here with you and two wild puppies so you could be here for her birthday and every word out of your mouth was Alexis this and Alexis that. You were so far gone that if she hadn’t said ‘yes’ we would’ve had to have you committed, and you know this,” he said with an evil grin.

“I’d like to say that you’re presenting a revisionist history, but the truth is the light,” Jared said with a bright red highlighting his cheekbones. “But that’s all behind me now. We got married, got a beautiful house, two beautiful dogs, and in a few weeks we’ll have the first of many children. I have an amazing, sexy, brilliant and gorgeous wife and I’ve never been happier in my life. So when are you going to follow in my footsteps? What are you waiting for?”

“I’m having the ring made, for your information, and I plan to give it to her on her birthday along with the keys to our new house. The house is slowing me down because I haven’t found the right place. I haven’t actually talked to her about another place yet because her house is really nice,” he said, getting up from the stool at the work island and going to the refrigerator.

Jared looked thoughtful. “Yeah, I see what you mean. It’s a great little bungalow and she’s made it look like something out of a magazine, but once you start having kids, it’s going to feel like a shoebox.”

“Alana is a magician, isn’t she? The way the T-bird turned out is amazing,” he said with a grin. “The insurance company wrote it off and she and her crew made it look like it had just rolled off the line. She did the paint job herself,” he said proudly. “She’s truly good at what she does, but I’ll be happy when she starts painting full-time and starts fulfilling her own dreams.” He paused and looked uncomfortable before continuing.

“This is just between the two of us,” he said solemnly. “Alana is convinced that she can’t have children.”

Jared looked stunned as Roland tersely repeated what Alana had told him. “Afterward, she just blocked it out in a way. She said she never intended to get involved with another man as long as she lived so it didn’t matter. And to tell you the truth, it doesn’t matter to me, not one bit. If she can’t have children we can adopt, or borrow our nieces and nephews or just get a bunch of dogs,” he said as the Westies careened around the work island on their way to another adventure.

“All I want is Alana. I’m taking her to Chicago to meet the folks again so she’ll understand that she’ll be marrying into a really strange family,” he laughed. “My mother thinks she’ll be a wonderful wife for me and she can’t wait to see her again. I just hope my sisters don’t make her crazy.”

“Alana is used to crazy sisters, Ro. She’s got three of her own,” Jared pointed out.

“True dat. You wanna help me make sandwiches for those louts in the living room or should we order subs?”

“Are you kidding? Order food for them and make them pay for ours,” Jared said and they bumped fists in agreement.

* * *

“Can I have this sweater?” Ava pleaded, plucking at the sleeve of the fabulous coral sweater.

“No, Ava, you can’t. We’re swapping things that we don’t wear or don’t care for or can’t wear. I have the sweater on, which means I do wear it. Besides, it was a gift from Roland, so forget about it,” Alana said.

Once a year the sisters and Sherri got together after clearing their closets of clothes that were no longer in first rotation. The idea was to give their siblings first dibs on the items before they went to charity.

It was a good deal all around because they all wore the same size and, with the exception of Adrienne, had the same basic taste in clothes. There were often items that had only been worn once and in some cases, still had the price tags on them. The same went for cosmetics. A fragrance that had fallen out of favor, an excess of body wash or lotion, there were many good things to be exchanged. Besides that, it provided the women a chance to get together and talk for hours.

Alexis wasn’t terribly interested in clothes; she was focused on the impending birth of her first child. She was stretched out on the chaise end of the sofa in the solarium, offering suggestions, but that was the limit of her participation. Sherri was stretched out on the other end of the sofa napping. She was in the early weeks of her pregnancy, but all she wanted to do was sleep. Sydney was having a playdate and since Lucas was, too, she was taking full advantage.

Adrienne, who wasn’t nearly as far along in her pregnancy as Alexis, but past the sleepytime stage, was trying to talk her mother into trying on a dress, one of her original creations. It was a striking combination of bright yellow silk matched to two different prints and Adrienne assured her that it would look fabulous on her. Aretha wasn’t too sure.

“Don’t you think it’s too young for me? I think my days of wearing bright colors like that are over,” she said with a wistful sigh.

Alana took the dress from Adrienne and insisted that her mother try it on. “Come with me, Mama. I think Adrienne is right. I can see you in this little number.”

They went into the guest room and Aretha grudgingly took off her clothes and slipped into the dress. It was fascinating to watch the transition on her mother’s face as Alana showed her how to fasten the wrap dress properly. It was a perfect fit for her still-slender figure and instead of looking loud or gaudy, it looked timeless and utterly chic. The elbow-length sleeves and deep V-neck were designed to complement any woman’s figure. The skirt flared out with godets inset all the way around, which gave the fluttery fabric a better hang. The medley of prints was perfect as all three fabrics were combined in an obi sash that made her small waist look tiny. Aretha was thrilled.

“I told you, Mama, you make the dress yours. You’re wearing the dress instead of the other way around.”

They talked about possible accessories and Alana got a real kick out of seeing how the dress lifted her mother’s spirits. Aretha turned to her with a smile.

“Thank you for taking the time to show me the error of my fashion ways,” she said. “I’m going to love wearing this dress. My girls certainly are a talented group.”

“Yes, we are. How do you like the portrait I did of Adrienne? You saw it at her house, didn’t you?”

“I did and it’s wonderful. I wish you were dedicating your life to your painting, Alana. That’s your true gift. You can sell the shop, or hire someone to run it for you. You should be painting all the time, not just when you can fit it in,” Aretha said firmly, but not in a bossy or demanding way.

“Have you been talking to Roland? Because that sounds exactly like him,” Alana said with a wry smile. “Are you two ganging up on me?”

“Will it work? Because if it will, I’ll be more than happy to. I knew I liked that young man for something other than his good looks and good manners—he’s got a good head on his shoulders and he is completely dedicated to you, Alana. That’s a man who wants nothing but your happiness and he’ll do everything in the world to make sure you have all your heart desires. Trust me, honey. A mother knows these things,” she said smugly.

“Mama, you never cease to amaze me,” Alana said fondly. “I was truly surprised at how quickly you took to Roland. I was afraid you were going to warn me against him and tell me how wrong he was for me and all of that stuff,” she admitted.

Aretha sat down on the bed next to her eldest daughter and took both of her hands. Squeezing them gently, she said, “Sweetheart, unless he was a sociopath or a fortune hunter or something, I wouldn’t have said anything of the kind. I’m happy for you, Alana, I’m happy for you both. After you lost Sam and the baby I was so frightened for you. You don’t remember much of those first weeks after he was killed, but I remember every second of every minute of that terrible time. You were so consumed with grief after the tragedy that I was afraid I was going to lose you, too.