Let It Snow (The Hope Falls Series) (35 page)

T
essa leaned her elbows on the kitchen island, trying to concentrate on editing Amy’s wedding pictures. She wanted to do the best job she possibly could for her. She’d weeded out the duds and only had a few more that she needed to crop and color correct for the slideshow.

She hadn’t slept at all last night after the wedding. Part of the reason was that she wanted to get the slideshow uploaded before Amy and Matt left for their honeymoon tomorrow morning. But the main reason was because she kept replaying everything that had happened the last few weeks in her head. Over and over again.

A few things more than others. Of course every time Jake had touched her, kissed her, and made love to her was getting a lot of review time.

But also the almost cryptic words Jake had spoken to her before he left the wedding last night, kept haunting her as well. Why would he ask her to promise him to say goodbye before she left town?

Did he think that she was just going to leave, forget about Gran’s house, just because of the fight they’d had? Did he think that she was the same scared seventeen-year-old who had left the hospital without telling him?

There were so many questions flooding Tessa’s mind that she knew what she had to do. She needed to talk to Jake. Now.

Wait. Maybe the mature thing to do would be to wait until he was off on Wednesday, make him a nice dinner, and discuss all of the questions that were on her mind.

Nah
. Tessa grabbed her keys and purse off of the counter and headed out the door. Maturity was overrated.

Thirteen years was long enough to wait. She couldn’t wait another second to find out if she and Jake had a real chance, a real shot at this.

Excitement and adrenaline flooded her system as she jumped into her PT Cruiser and headed to the station. Her heart was racing and her palms were sweaty with anticipation as she drove through the small town of Hope Falls. She had butterflies in her stomach, but they weren’t gracefully flitting about. Oh no, it felt more like they were having a full-blown roller derby of destruction in there.

“Okay, okay, okay, okay,” Tessa whispered to herself to try and settle down.

Just as she was starting her second round of ‘okays’, her phone buzzed in her purse.

Jake
.

Grabbing her phone as she pulled up to the intersection the fire station sat at, she felt her heart sink when she saw the call was from Lauren. Not that she didn’t want to talk to her friend. It was just that, for a split second, she thought that maybe she and Jake did, in fact, have some kind of psychic connection and he was calling to tell her that he couldn’t stop thinking about her and they needed to talk. Then she would have pulled into the parking lot and Jake would have been standing there waiting. It would have been like a scene from a movie.

Snapping herself back to reality, Tessa hit the answer button on her phone. “Hey, Lauren.”

“I have some good news,” Lauren said with a small amount of hesitation before adding, “I think.”

Lauren’s contradictory words and tone ratcheted up Tessa’s nervous energy tenfold. The light turned green, and Tessa crossed the intersection and drove to the back of the station, pulling into one of the three empty parking spaces.

When she was no longer operating heavy machinery, she asked, “What good news?”

“We got on an offer on the house, as is. It came in at asking price and you can sign today. The buyer is pre-approved and going to be using it as a rental.”

Tessa went numb. This was good news. Right?

“Oh, okay.” Tessa’s head was spinning.

“Do you want me to come by? With the contract?” Lauren asked.

“Um, I’m actually in town. I have an errand to run, but I will stop by after.” Tessa felt like she needed to see Jake more than ever now.

“Okay, see you then,” Lauren said, and Tessa disconnected the call.

Tessa stepped out of the car and walked in through the back door of the station, operating solely on autopilot. She wasn’t even fully aware of the short trip from the lot to standing in front of Jake’s door. Her hand fisted and she watched as it knocked three times. She couldn’t feel the wood as her knuckles hit it. It was as if she were floating outside herself completely.

Jake’s voice sounded from inside. “Come in.”

Tessa tried to pull herself together before walking into the office. After their fight yesterday, she really wanted to say exactly the right thing. Unfortunately, she had no idea what that was.

“Come in,” he repeated, this time louder and with a hint of irritation.

Taking a deep breath, she turned the doorknob and stepped inside. He looked up, his deep brown eyes locking with hers. Like always, she felt his stare all the way down to her soul.

He didn’t look mad, but he certainly didn’t look happy to see her. He looked…sad.

“Are you okay?” she asked, shutting the door behind her and moving to sit in the green leather chair in front of his desk.

“Yep,” he answered briskly and leaned back in his high-back leather chair.

The vibe between them was so strange that she got thrown off. Well she’d already been a little off balance by Lauren’s call, but now she had totally gone off the rails.

Whether it was because she hated awkward silences or just because she just didn’t want any more secrets between them, she blurted out, “I got an offer on the house.”

His expression did not change one iota. Nodding once, he said with resignation in his tone, “I know.”

Tessa felt her jaw literally fall open. Sure, she knew that news traveled fast in Hope Falls, but this was ridiculous. “Who told you?” After the question left her mouth, she realized it was a stupid one. Lauren had to be the one who had told Jake.

“No one had to. I made the offer.”

“You made the offer?” Tessa asked out loud, thinking that she must have heard him wrong.

“Yes.” Jake’s voice, body language, even his eyes were giving no clues as to what this was all about. It was as if he’d put up invisible walls since she’d danced with him just yesterday to
their
song at his sister’s wedding.

“Why?” she asked, searching his eyes.

“It’s what you wanted, right? To sell the house so you could open up your studio. I just moved the process along for you.” His cold tone caused a sinking feeling in Tessa’s stomach. “Did you stop by to say ‘goodbye’?”

Tessa couldn’t feel her legs, so she wasn’t sure that they would hold her, but she figured that, worst-case scenario, even if she fell flat on her butt, it wouldn’t be any worse that sitting in front of Jake while he did everything but pack her bags for her to get her out of town.

Did she come by to say ‘goodbye’? No, she came by to tell him that she wanted to try. That if he really couldn’t be happy without her, then she would stay. That she loved him and had only ever wanted what was best for him. That she was sorry that she’d wasted years of their lives that they could have spent together, but that if he wanted her, she wouldn’t waste another second by not being with him.

Obviously she wouldn’t be saying those things now, so she just nodded as she swallowed a huge lump in her throat. Standing, she was happy that her legs did not give out on her. Tessa tried to hold the tears that were threatening to fall at bay and keep her voice strong as she said, “I am so glad we got to spend this time together. Thank you, Jake. For everything.”

He didn’t respond. He didn’t get out from behind his desk. The only indication that he’d heard her at all was his jaw locking tightly and the vein on the side of his neck popping out.

Tessa had no idea what he was mad about, but she didn’t want their last conversation to be a fight. So she plastered on her best fake smile and turned to leave.

“Bye, Jake.”

But as her hand touched the doorknob, something stopped her. It was the realization that she still had questions in her mind and she didn’t want to live out the rest of her life wondering about them, even if that meant the last conversation she and Jake had would be a yelling match. She’d made the mistake of not talking things out with Jake when she was seventeen. She was not going to do that again.

Turning back, she asked quickly, before she lost her nerve, “Is that why you told me to say ‘goodbye’ to you before I left yesterday? Because you knew you were going to buy Gran’s house?”

*

Jake didn’t know why Tessa was dragging this out. He’d given her an out. She was free. “I met with Lauren before the wedding. I’d already put an offer on the house.”

“Because you want me to leave?” Tessa asked, her voice shaking like
she
was the injured party here.

Why am I always the asshole?

“Tessa”—Jake raked his hands through his hair—“I saw it in your eyes yesterday on your porch. You
are
leaving. Like I said, I just sped up the process.”

“Because you want me to go?” Now tears were falling down her cheeks.

This was ridiculous. Hadn’t he asked—no,
begged
—her to stay just yesterday?! Jake did not want to fight with her again, but he was really getting pissed off. As calmly as possible, he said, “It doesn’t matter what I want. You’ve made that perfectly clear.”

Tessa still stood on the other side of the room in front of the door. Jake could see her shaking from here, and she was white as a ghost. More than anything, he wanted to go to her, hold her in his arms.

But he couldn’t. He had to start protecting himself. Because when she left, there had to at least be pieces of himself that he could try and put back together to make a life with. A miserable life, but a life.

He saw her draw in a deep breath before she asked, “What if it did matter?”

His heart jumped in his chest. “What do you mean?”

“I mean…” Shaking her head a little, she crossed back to the visitor chair, whispering, “Okay, okay, okay, okay,” to herself and sat down. Her blue eyes looked up at him, and what he saw made a small glimmer of hope twist in his chest. She continued, “What I mean is, what do
you
want to happen here?”

Jake was confused. He’d thought he could not have made himself any clearer yesterday on the porch. As much as he wanted to see where this was headed, a small part of him was scared that he would pour his heart out and she would walk away. Again.

So instead of answering, he asked, “What do
you
want to happen here?”

She looked like a deer caught in headlights. Obviously, she had not expected him to turn the tables on her. It wasn’t so fun when you were the one in the hot seat. He waited. Inside he was dying, but he sat there silently. Waiting.

“Well,” she said after what felt like hours, “I was thinking about what you said yesterday…and…”

Jake’s heart started beating faster.

She licked her lips nervously and her gaze dropped to her hands, which she was wringing in her lap. He thought he heard her mumble, “Oh screw it,” under her breath before she looked back up at him with a new fire in her eyes. “I love you. I have never stopped loving you. I only left and stayed away because I wanted the best for
you
. I wanted you to have everything you’d ever dreamed of.

“But I was thinking about what you said about me, about the other girls, about you not living in your house. So, I came over here to tell you that if you still wanted to be with me, I’m yours. I mean, I’ve
always
been yours, but I’ll stay. If that’s really what you want.

“But
then
I got Lauren’s call and I came in here and
you
said you bought the hou—”

Jake was up and around the desk, and before she had a chance to finish what she was saying, he had her in his arms. His lips found hers and he claimed her with his kiss. Her arms flew around his neck and her legs wrapped around his waist. She parted her lips and his tongue swept inside of her mouth. She kissed him back with equal fervor, meeting him lick for lick.

It had only been a day since he’d kissed her last but damn, Jake had missed her mouth. He knew her kisses were like a drug to him that he would never get enough of. Jake took his time, pouring all of the love he had inside himself into this kiss.

Tessa’s curves melted against him, and Jake knew he needed to get them out of there before he cleared his desk, stripped her out of her clothes, and took her on top of it. But before anything went further, Jake needed to confirm what he thought Tessa was saying.

Pulling away, he met her half-lidded gaze. She looked almost drunk. He smiled, liking the knowledge that he’d made her feel that way from his kiss.

“So you’re staying?” he asked, his voice strained with need.

“If you want me,” she said, still sounding a little unsure.

“I want you. Only you. Forever.” Jake didn’t know how much clearer he could be.

A smile spread across Tessa’s beautiful face. “Then yes. I’m staying.”

“Marry me.” Jake knew he wasn’t on one knee and he didn’t have a ring, but he had to know that Tessa would be his wife.

“Okay,” she answered immediately, her smile spreading even wider.

“Today.”

“What?” she said as she drew her head back and looked at him like he needed to be in a strait jacket. “We can’t get married
today
.”