Let It Snow (11 page)

But he hadn’t gotten her. Not really. Garrett had. He had her for now, and it felt good to have her against him, but eventually, he’d have to let them both go.

She whimpered quietly in her sleep, as if she knew he was beginning to doubt again, and pressed closer to him, wrapping her arm around his torso. He glanced down at her, and gently brushed her hair from her face.

“Do you really love her?”

Garrett sat down on the other couch, close to the edge. Leo hadn’t realized he was there at all, but then again, it had just been him and Bri for a while now. He wasn’t sure where Garrett had gone. He was dressed warmly, a black turtleneck and blue jeans. His boots were a little wet, so he guessed that Garrett had been outside. Yet, he didn’t know when he’d left or why.  Garrett leaned forward, balancing his elbows on his knees, watching his wife sleep.

The smell of snow and Garrett’s aftershave filled Leo’s lungs.  The question Garrett had asked loomed between them. He waited patiently for Leo to answer, but he wasn’t sure what Garrett wanted him to say. Neither of them were very good with words.

“I do,” he said as he brushed a stray strand away from her face again. She’d curled up under the blanket. They both needed to get dressed, but he didn’t have the heart to wake her up just to put clothes on.

“I see.” Instead of the relief he thought he’d see on Garrett, his expression was pained.

“I thought this was what you wanted.” He locked eyes with Garrett as soon as he glanced up. “For me to love her. That was what would make it complete, right? Because as sure as shit, I’ve always been in love with you.”

Garrett didn’t say anything and suddenly vulnerability tore a hole through his lungs, making it hard to breathe. He’d ripped open his heart and left it sitting on the table. He was just a plaything. Garrett didn’t love him, not really. He fisted the blanket with his free hand, the other squeezing Brianna’s arm like he wanted to make sure she was still there.

“Listen, Garrett. I get it, okay? This isn’t going to work. You don’t feel the way I feel. That’s okay. I’m just going to enjoy Christmas tomorrow with my friends. We can have no strings attached sex all day together. Then you guys can go back to your perfect couple life, and I’ll go back to Fort Glasgow to my perfect single life and we’ll all be happy.” Happiness. The very word made him growl internally. There was no happiness without these two.

“Is that what you think is going to happen?” He couldn’t read Garrett’s expression, but the tone was calm and his demeanor patient.

He nodded. “It’s the only thing that can happen.”

Garrett laughed as he stood. His dark eyes wandered over his sleeping wife, from her painted toes to her curled legs to her face tucked against Leo’s side. Then they lifted up to him, mischief dancing within them. “If you think that, Vasquez, you’re about the stupidest son of a bitch there ever was.”

Leo’s face reddened as Garrett left the room. What the fuck did that mean? Was Garrett suddenly encouraging him in this “relationship” Brianna wanted? Had they not thought this through? They wanted a family. What would their kids think of Uncle Leo hanging out at the house all the time?

He glanced down at Brianna, who slept as peacefully as she had before Garrett had come into the room.

He smoothed her hair around her ears and sighed. He kissed the top of her head and whispered into her hair, “What kind of spell did you cast on me, darling?”

A soft sigh was his only answer.

~*~*~

Christmas Eve was spent watching as the snow continued to fall, blanketing the landscape, which Brianna thought looked like a white velvet coverlet. The news had said most of the roads leading up to the mountains were closed, which meant there was no way Leo could get away from them. They were stuck in the cabin until after the snow stopped.

She was determined to convince him that this was right for them. It was the giant elephant in the room. They are accepted it was there, but no one wanted to acknowledge it was real.

Men.

Why hadn’t she become a lesbian?

Of course, she knew the answer to that. She could take one look at Garrett’s strong biceps, or the ripple of Leo’s abs, and know. Nothing beat the feel of cock in her pussy. And it was even better when it was one of her men.

Her men? Was she so convinced this could work that she’d already referred to them as her men? It didn’t make any sense. But there it was, as clear as bolded words on a page.

Brianna grabbed a knit sweater from the bedroom and pulled it on as she walked through the living room. The tree’s lights reflected off the darkened window, looking like multi-colored stars against the midnight backdrop.

Outside the snow continued to fall. The road, only a few hundred feet from the cabin, was already completely submerged in the white powder. The fire crackled across the room, bathing the room in soft warmth.

So close to the perfect winter night. Except that she didn’t have Garrett and Leo beside her. Leo was cleaning the kitchen. Garrett was in the bedroom, rustling around. She’d heard him earlier. What she wanted was to sit by the crackling fire with a bottle of wine, her two guys, and a soft blanket.

“It’s pretty, isn’t it?”

Brianna glanced behind as Leo meandered up to her. He didn’t look at her, but out where the snow was falling. Was he avoiding meeting her eyes? Was he trying to distance himself from her? She suspected that was more true than false.

“Yeah.” It really was pretty. It left her with a misleading sense of ease and contentment. Something she couldn’t possibly feel when she didn’t have both Garrett and Leo in her arms.

“I primed the generator earlier. In case we lose the lines.”

“Good.”

Was this the equivalent of talking about the weather? Maybe it was because they all knew their time was limited. Brianna swallowed nervously.

“Bri, we need to talk.”

“Oh?” She tried to keep her voice non-committal. Because she knew what was coming. She felt it, deep inside her bones. Sadness lurked inside, waiting, skulking close with every sound, every syllable that left Leo’s mouth. He was going to be done with her, and she didn’t want to hear it.

“I know what you feel right now is very real, and it’s exciting.”

She turned to face him. Anger simmered below the surface of her veiled emotions, and she held tight to it. Anger she could do. Anger would keep her from losing her mind and her heart. “Do you presume to know what I feel, Leo?” Her voice was as calm as she’d ever known it to be.

“I know that threesomes can be confusing. It can lead to feelings that maybe aren’t true.” The calm, patronizing voice grated each nerve in her body.

“Why don’t you just cut to the part where you tell me it’s over?” She snapped the words from her mouth, slicing through the air like a leather whip.

“I don’t want it to be.” Leo shifted from one foot to the other. He pocketed his hands in his jeans. “It’s just not something that can happen the way you want it to happen.”

“Because you’re the resident expert, no doubt.”

“Bri—”

“Lemme make this easy for you, Leo. I’m not saying no. I’m saying yes. You belong with us. Me and Garrett. I love you. He loves you. And you love us. That makes this perfect.” She focused in on him, narrowing her eyes so all she saw was him. He looked as if he wanted to squirm under her scrutiny. When she spoke again, her voice took on a soft, dangerous tone, one of which meant she would no longer take his rejection of what he really wanted. “So you can run all you want. But in the end I’ll catch you.”

She walked away from the window, back to the bedroom. She didn’t look back. Leo didn’t reply. She didn’t dare glance to see. But she was done letting him call the shots. After the night before, she was more convinced than ever that he belonged with them. 

Christmas was tomorrow. That meant the day after they’d be leaving and the chance of convincing Leo that he belonged with them would die. She couldn’t let him slip away, any more than she could have let Garrett go.

~*~*~

Tension at the Christmas Eve dinner lined Leo’s heart with lead, weighed it down and made him miserable. Tomorrow was their last full day together. The next morning after that, Garrett and Brianna would pack up their stuff and head out and Leo would go back to Fort Glasgow. 

It didn’t seem fair to have such a great Christmas vacation and have to go back to being the public figure he was before. In a few short days, he’d become someone else, or he’d finally allowed himself to feel the way he already did. Brianna’s words still echoed in his head as they talked through dinner.

You can run all you want. But in the end, I’ll catch you
.

He’d been trying to escape with his heart intact. He could have sex with them. He could curl up and relax on the couch. Hell, the quiet night they spent after dinner was perhaps his favorite, and they’d not even had sex. It was too soon before Brianna started yawning. He stretched and cleaned the last of the dishes while she’d gotten ready for bed. 

It wasn’t until it came to the moment of bedtime that he felt guilty. Bedtime was sacred and he had no business being there with them, yet she wanted him there. When Brianna scowled, he almost caved and joined them.

"Leo, I just want you near.” Her voice was soft, and matter-of-fact. Like it was a foregone conclusion that he’d be joining them and there would be no resistance. “It’s just a bed.” If only that was the case, But sleeping in the same bed was too much intimacy, too much like being part of something.

"That's not the way this works, Bri. We'll play in that bed. I'll fuck you and Garrett both six ways from Sunday in that bed, but I can't do any more than that."

"I'm not asking you to do more. I'm asking you to do less. Just sleep."

"I can't," he whispered, struggling to keep his voice even. He wanted to go with them, but it just wasn’t something he should do. He was glad when Garrett intervened.

"Brianna, baby," Garrett ran a hand over her upper arm. "Leo's got to do what's right for him. I'm tired. Can we go to bed now?

Bri glared at them both. They were ganging up on her, and he was glad of Garrett’s support, though he hated disappointing her. Leo wanted nothing more than to join them, but it wouldn’t be right. That was their marriage bed. Okay, it was technically his bed, but they were staying in it, which made it their marriage bed in temporary status. At least, that’s what he was going with.

She let out a frustrated sigh and turned on her heels. As she disappeared into the bedroom, he met Garrett's eyes, full of recrimination and disappointment. "Don't look at me like that, man."

"Bri always gets what she wants," Garrett replied. A slow smile crept up on his face, knowing and bold. "I know how you feel about us. She does too. You can't fight it forever. You told her you loved her."

"A relationship between three people? I can’t do it. It's not going to happen. You guys are married.” It sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than Garrett. His voice came out higher pitched and almost whining, like he was pleading for Garrett to see his side. “This is just really good sex."

Did he really believe that though? Sadly, he wasn’t sure anymore.

Garrett shrugged, a satisfied smirk on his face, like Leo’s fate had already been decided. "You tell yourself that. You keep repeating it. Maybe it'll comfort you when you realize that woman in there? She’s got you tied right neatly around her little pinky." He laughed and left, following his wife into the bedroom.

His heart pained him as Garrett shut the door, as if he were leaving him out in the cold. 

You can't fight it forever.
Garrett’s voice echoed in his head. Ugh. This seriously sucked.

A surprisingly large part of him wanted to knock on the door and fuck them both into ecstasy until they couldn't move anymore. But the smaller part of him, the more practical side knew it would be stupid. Because if he went in there, and he touched them like he wanted to, showed them that he loved them both, he'd be lost. And then his heart would shatter when they left.

He touched the door lightly with his fingertips as he heard them moving around in there. Bri's cute little giggle. Garrett's low rumbling. The sounds of a couple. There was another problem with this. His career. There was no way he’d be accepted by his teammates if they knew he was bi, let alone in a relationship with a married couple. Was it cheating if the married couple wanted him?

He forced himself to step backward, out of reach of the door. They weren't his future. He needed them to see that as much as he needed to believe it. He blew out a frustrated breath, easy and slow, and turned his back to the door. Grunting in frustration and irritation, he flopped on the couch.

He grabbed the remote and flipped through the channels, none of them giving him what he wanted. Westerns, romantic comedies, stupid junkie reality shows. He scrolled through them all. Finally, he just flipped off the television and curled on his side to go to sleep. He didn't even want to walk to the guest room.

“It’s so irritating!” Brianna grumbled as she turned down the covers. Irritating wasn’t the right word for what she was thinking. Annoyed? Pissed off? So mad she wanted to kick a puppy? Maybe angry enough to trip an old lady?

It was one thing for Leo not to want to get into a relationship. But to lie to her? She knew how he felt. He’d told her he loved her. She saw the way he looked at her husband. He might not admit it, but she knew the truth.

“Leo’s got to do things his own way, babe. We can’t make the decision for him.” Garrett wrapped his arms around her, pinning her arms to her side. “Calm down.”

“I am calm,” she snapped. She took a breath when he chuckled. “I am, Garrett.”

“Think about it from his perspective. We come up here, declare our intentions, and he’s supposed to just go along with it?”

“I really wanted this.” The hushed tone of her voice forced tears to her eyes.

“Why?” He asked her, turning her by her shoulders so she faced him. “Why did you want this so bad? Leo and I… it’s been ten years since we were… together, since we shared anyone. What is it about this that makes you want it so much?”