Lessons From a Scarlet Lady (42 page)
Brianna watched her husband struggle to reveal his feelings and knew—
knew
—that if he wished to apologize, this was the best way possible. For if he mouthed platitudes and tried to explain his actions, she might think it was an excuse to put the unfortunate incident behind them.
knew
—that if he wished to apologize, this was the best way possible. For if he mouthed platitudes and tried to explain his actions, she might think it was an excuse to put the unfortunate incident behind them.
But this, no. This
cost
him.
cost
him.
Colton glanced away, and she could swear she saw a slight sheen to his eyes. “I didn’t know what to do. I’d known I would probably be the Duke one day, but neither my father nor I ever imagined it would happen as it did. Oh yes, I’d been tutored and taught and advised, but never once did anyone tell me the transition would hurt so damned much. Being an heir is an abstract concept. Inheriting is something else altogether.”
“Darling,” she said in a husky voice, her anger evaporated by his raw expression.
“No, let me finish. You deserve this.” He swallowed, the muscles in his throat rippling. “I think that day I felt betrayed to an extent. By him. By his dying. Ridiculous, isn’t it? I was young, but already a man. It just wasn’t supposed to happen so soon. He should be alive
now
. I had to set aside my grief; there was no time for it. So I threw myself into the role of duke in the best way I knew how, and I think maybe I forgot about some other important things in life. Lucky for me, you are doing your best to remind me.”
now
. I had to set aside my grief; there was no time for it. So I threw myself into the role of duke in the best way I knew how, and I think maybe I forgot about some other important things in life. Lucky for me, you are doing your best to remind me.”
She was frozen. Colton, the one she knew, didn’t do this. He did not open up his soul.
“So, may I perhaps beg of you a little forgiveness for my stupidity? I tend to try and make sense out of everything. Your actions, no matter how captivating and enjoyable I found them, confused me.” Her husband looked at her, his lean body tense in the chair. “I really can’t excuse myself for thinking the worst, but I feel vulnerable with you in a way I haven’t experienced for a long time. Nine years, in fact. Add in this coming child and the sense I had you were keeping something from me, and I had that same feeling of being overwhelmed. So I did my best to take control of the situation in the only way I knew how. I am an idiot, but at least I am an idiot who loves his wife to distraction.”
She’d been paralyzed before, but now she couldn’t move if she wished it.
“I must,” he said, the words an obvious struggle, “or I would not be able to act in such an irrational manner.”
Brianna adored him all the more for his typical logic surfacing even as he attempted what was turning out to be a very effective apology.
Then he devastated her with the most compelling statement of all. “I didn’t realize this had happened to me. To
us
.”
us
.”
She sat poised on the bench before her dressing table, her hands folded calmly as she looked at him. But there was nothing calm about the flutter of her heart. “Didn’t know you loved me?”
He was handsome, powerful, wealthy . . . everything a man could hope to be. Still, he seemed at a loss. Then he rubbed his jaw and said raggedly, “I didn’t realize it. And yes, Brianna. God, yes. I love you.”
It got easier.
Saying the words to Brianna hadn’t ever really been the problem. It was admitting he loved her to himself that had been the barricade between them. They loved
each other
. That was even more of a revelation.
each other
. That was even more of a revelation.
Earlier, he hadn’t ever intended to declare to Robert how he felt about him, brother to brother. It just came out. This time, Colton intended to tell Brianna he loved her, but he hadn’t counted on the hoarse tone of his voice or the poignancy of the moment.
And that babe that grew inside her—he couldn’t begin to express the depth of how it moved him that they were going to share a child.
There were tears in his wife’s eyes and he was at fault again, but at least this time it wasn’t because he’d hurt her. The tremulous smile on her lips filled him with relief. She stood and came across the room and courtesy dictated that he should rise also, but he just sat there and waited, locked in place by the expression on her lovely face.
She took his brandy glass from his limp fingers and set it aside on the mantel. Then she settled on his lap and touched his cheek very lightly with one hand. “We are very blessed, aren’t we?”
Emotion held him mute as he looked into her eyes.
“I’d really already forgiven you, you know. As infuriatingly dense as you can be at times, I cannot stay angry with you.”
Her soft mouth was a temptingly short distance away. “I won’t argue with the accusation or your generosity,” he said in a hoarse voice.
“I suppose I am not blameless.” Her fingers traced the line of his jaw and brushed along his lips. “Though my intentions were good, perhaps I shouldn’t have bought Lady Rothburg’s book. It was an improper thing to do.”
“Very,” he agreed, but added, “But I think the woman is positively brilliant. I can’t say I agree with every observation she makes about men, but on the whole, she seems to have it right. Very insightful.”
His wife’s hand stilled and her eyes widened. “You read it?”
“Indeed. Every word. After all, you left it there on my desk.”
“What a very unstuffy thing to do, Colton.” Brianna’s lashes lowered a teasing fraction.
He fought a wince at the reminder of her scathing observation when she’d confronted him in his study. “I shall contrive to be more open-minded in the future.”
Brianna leaned forward and licked his lower lip. It was just a slow, delicate slide of the very tip of her tongue, but it sent a jolt through his entire body. She murmured, “Tell me, what part of her advice did you like the best? As a woman, I am curious.”
“You are definitely a woman,” he muttered, grasping her hips and adjusting her position on his lap. His growing erection strained the front of his breeches uncomfortably. “What was the question again?”
“The.” She kissed him. “Best.” Kissed him again. “Part.”
“You,” he answered. “No matter what we do, the best part is you, Brianna.”
“Are you saying I may tie you to the bed again someday if I wish?” Her smile was playful and provocative.
He gave a small groan as her soft bottom moved against his aching groin.
That
pleasurable interlude he could recall in all too vivid detail. “I am, at all times, your servant, madam.”
That
pleasurable interlude he could recall in all too vivid detail. “I am, at all times, your servant, madam.”
“That sounds promising. So I may keep the book?”
“I’ll have it enshrined in a glass case.” He pulled the pins from her hair and nibbled on her earlobe.
A breathless laugh brushed his cheek. “I am sure Lady R would be flattered, but you needn’t go that far. However, there is one favor I would like to ask.”
He’d moved his mouth to the side of her graceful neck, and made an incoherent sound of assent.
“From now on I’d like it if we could share a bed.”
“We are about to, believe me,” he vowed, his arousal not in question.
“No. Well, yes, but that isn’t what I mean. I want to lie not just with you, but next to you. My room or yours, it doesn’t matter, but when we make love and you leave me, I feel . . .”
She’d tensed in his arms. Colton drew back enough so he could see her face. If there was one thing he’d learned from the past few days, it was that one of his biggest failings was in following through with the task of trying to understand how other people felt.
This mattered to his wife and she was his world, so it mattered to him.
“Go on, please,” he said quietly.
“Apart from you. Not just physically.” Brianna’s lips quivered, just barely, but enough. “Perhaps it sounds ridiculous to you because you are so practical at all times, but I want to wake to hear you breathe in the dark, to feel your warmth next to me, to share more than just our passion.”
He understood what it meant to feel
apart
. To be distanced from others by his rank, by his responsibility—but mostly by the inner walls he’d constructed to protect himself from emotional attachment and commitment.
apart
. To be distanced from others by his rank, by his responsibility—but mostly by the inner walls he’d constructed to protect himself from emotional attachment and commitment.
He followed the curve of one of her perfect brows with a forefinger and smiled. “I would be delighted to have you sleep next to me each night. There, you see? Done. What else can I give you? Ask and it is yours.”
She shook her head. “I can’t think of what else a woman could want except to be with the man she loves and his child growing inside her.”
She was a duchess married to one of the wealthiest men in England, with all of society at her feet, possessed incredible beauty and a life of privilege, but she wanted only the simplest of gifts. One of the things he loved about her—and had sensed about her from the beginning—was she had never looked at her existence, or their marriage, in a calculating way. Had he been a shepherd, she would still have loved him in equal measure.
She could ask for anything and know he had the means to provide it.
Instead, she wanted to sleep next to him.
How had he found such a treasure?
He didn’t deserve her, probably, but he could try. Colton stood, lifting her in his arms. “Shall we stay in tonight? We can dine en suite and just enjoy each other’s company.”
Brianna’s smile was all languorous seduction. “It sounds marvelous. You do remember Lady Rothburg had a whole chapter about how women can become more amorous when they are breeding? I think she might be right.”
Dear Lord, he hoped so. He’d seen that heavy light in his wife’s eyes before, and his body was more than primed and ready just from holding her. “The woman is a scholar of the highest order,” he muttered as he carried his wife into his bedroom, shouldering the door open and heading toward the huge bed. “A brilliant expert who has generously shared her knowledge with the world. A paragon.”
His wife gasped with sudden laughter. “Did you just call a courtesan—a scarlet woman—a paragon? You, the Duke of Rolthven, who wouldn’t commit a breach in etiquette for anything?”
Colton deposited her on the bed and leaned over, looking into Brianna’s eyes. “Indeed, I did.”
Then he began to undress her, punctuated by long hot kisses and whispered, wicked words.
And her uninhibited response proved his point.
Lady Rothburg was an exceptionally wise woman.
Epilogue
D
amien Northfield leaned back in his chair, his legs comfortably crossed at the ankle, a bottle of whiskey just within reach. His departure to Spain had been delayed on various administrative levels, which was frustrating, but other matters had turned out in a satisfactory manner.
amien Northfield leaned back in his chair, his legs comfortably crossed at the ankle, a bottle of whiskey just within reach. His departure to Spain had been delayed on various administrative levels, which was frustrating, but other matters had turned out in a satisfactory manner.
His younger brother had married. And married well. Rebecca was even scheduled to have some of her music debut in a public recital soon. Robert had never been one to stick to convention, and flaunting his wife’s extraordinary talent was typical of his audacity.
Colton, also, was more content, more open than he had been since Damien could remember. Impending fatherhood sat well with his older brother, and Brianna fairly glowed with happiness even as she increased. She looked more beautiful than ever, which was really saying something.
He smiled lazily at his two brothers, not bothering to hide his amusement. “So they both read it?”
“And God alone knows to whom else my errant wife might loan the book.” Colton lifted a brow. “I have stopped even trying to control what she does.”
“What you mean,” Robert said in open amusement, “is you indulge her in every way.”
“Perhaps.” Colton looked both unrepentant and relaxed.
Relaxed.
Colton.
That
was
something.
was
something.
“I’m rather an admirer of the book,” Robert said and took a sip from his glass. “Damien, when you marry, you might want to see if Brianna won’t lend it out to your bride. I promise you no regrets if you give it to your beloved. Let’s just say there are certain things a gentleman won’t address with his wife that Lady Rothburg has no trouble discussing in detail.”
If his younger brother’s sinful grin was any indication, it was true.
“I’m headed back to Spain tomorrow.” Damien pointed out. “So I doubt romance of any kind is in my future, but I’ll keep it in mind.”
“One never knows.” Colton commented. “Had anyone said it was in mine, I would have protested vehemently.”
How true. How could anyone have guessed his upright older brother would marry such a lovely but impulsive young lady and manage to become a different man than the upright, unapproachable Duke of Rolthven?
On the same note, how could anyone imagine Robbie would marry a respectable young woman and be persuaded to play his cello in public, no less?
His
secrets were far more volatile and private.
secrets were far more volatile and private.
Damien picked up his glass and raised it. “Shall we toast her then? Here’s to the wise but nefarious Lady Rothburg.”
Epilogue to Lady Rothburg’s Advice
In closing, my dearest reader, I wish to say I hope you have found my advice valuable, even if in only a small way. There is, naturally, no perfect formula for romantic love, as the subjects involved are human beings and therefore fallible, but if I were limited to only one piece of advice instead of an entire book, I believe I would remind both men and women that a successful partnership, sexually and emotionally, takes effort on the part of both parties. What happens in bed—or if you read chapter eight, in various other wickedly inventive places—is important, yes, for sexual desire is what draws us to each other in the first place. But as pleasurable as that may be, the most important part of any romance is the bond you grow as you share a life.
Other books
Cost of Life by Joshua Corin
Death by Obsession by Skye, Jaden
Stalking Nabokov by Brian Boyd
The Red Dahlia by Lynda La Plante
Sweet Dreams Boxed Set by Brenda Novak, Allison Brennan, Cynthia Eden, Jt Ellison, Heather Graham, Liliana Hart, Alex Kava, Cj Lyons, Carla Neggers, Theresa Ragan, Erica Spindler, Jo Robertson, Tiffany Snow, Lee Child
Exposed by Sierra Riley
Inherit by Liz Reinhardt
Anything for Profit 2: Nothing to Lose by Floyd, Justin Amen
7 Days of Seduction by Jaxon, Jenna
La voz de los muertos by Orson Scott Card