Legacy (18 page)

Six Months Later …

39

‘You seem to be having a lot of trouble sleeping lately,' Arthur sighed.

‘Lucky you. Were you asleep?'

‘In bed. Reading.'

‘How can anyone sleep with all these police sirens?' Patricia asked as she watched the flashing lights and traffic below her window.

‘You're the one who still wants to live in the middle of Redfern.'

Patricia ignored him. ‘Remember how they used to come for us for no reason?'

‘Sure do.'

‘Now, with all these drug pushers moving in, the coppers are occasionally doing something useful.'

‘It's a shame what these drugs are doing to young people. Back in our days there were plenty of problems with the grog and people would smoke that funny stuff but these hard drugs, they're something else.'

‘Even though they sometimes clean up the pushers, I can't get over that deep hatred of coppers. I still remember how they would roughhouse us, that sound of bones cracking, the pain of being pulled by the hair or punched in the gut. And that's just what they did to us girls.'

‘What's on your mind?'

‘Our old friend Tony just left.'

‘How's he holding up?'

‘He was looking better than the last time I saw him.'

‘He seems to be dropping by your place quite a bit lately. Don't tell me you are falling for his old charms,' Arthur joked.

‘I'm not fooled by something so obvious. No. Once his life started falling apart, I guess he hoped that I would give him some support. You know, like a big sister.'

‘You've always been there for us. All of us.'

‘I know. I'm a black Mary Poppins.' There is a pause. ‘Arthur,' Patricia says, ‘I think I might have done something bad.'

‘What do you mean?'

‘Well, you know I think Tony brought a lot of his current circumstances upon himself, with his constant running around on Beth Ann. But I had a conversation with that young Rachel and I think I might have convinced her to leave Tony.'

‘What do you mean?'

‘I let her know that everyone was talking about her and Tony.'

‘What did you do that for?'

‘To tell you the truth, I didn't really think about it. I'm glad I spoke to her. She's so beautiful, full of promise. But I didn't do it for her. I could see the impact Tony's behaviour was having on Simone, but that wasn't the reason either. I did it for Beth Ann actually. I've always thought the world of her. At least, that was my motivation at the time, what I told myself. And you know, the more I sit back and see how things turned out, especially how miserable Tony is, I can't help but think that maybe I just should have kept my nose out of the whole business.'

‘That's quite a confession.'

‘I guess it is,' Patricia answered.

‘What do you want me to say to make you feel less guilty?'

Patricia thought before answering. ‘I don't know but I am open to suggestions.'

‘Well, I can do better than that. I have a bit of a confession of my own to make. I've asked someone out, someone I gave up years back because I loved Tony so much. I loved them both all these years,. But now I've decided that - if it comes to it - I'll give Tony up instead.'

Patricia paused, looked out across the skyline. ‘That is a very big decision. Are you ready to do this?'

‘I can't let her go again, not if I have a chance.'

When Patricia finally hung up the phone, she felt wide awake. She thought about the night that Tony had come over after Rachel had thrown him out, thought about his fumbled attempt at seduction. She'd known by reading his face that he didn't mean it. He was drunk and blinded by his grief, scared that his life was spinning out of control, driven by desperation, not love. He was lost without Beth Ann and perhaps humiliated by Rachel's rejection. He needed reassurance.

Even though she still longed for him, Patricia was too proud to take him on those terms. Besides, she knew that he wouldn't stay. And there would be no being ‘ just friends' again. There was shallow comfort in the way that Tony still came to her for solace, but he had never again made any move, any suggestion. Each time he had been to see her since it was only as an old friend - talking over old times, new problems, friends, enemies, politics, philosophy.

After each of his visits, she'd console herself. It wasn't just the crumbs. This, she'd tell herself, was something.

40

Rachel clipped the plastic container shut. ‘Lunch,' she announced proudly as she placed it into the backpack.

‘Thanks,' Darren smiled back, his eyes locking with her gaze in the suspended time of fresh love.

‘We'd better go or we'll miss the bus,' Rachel finally said.

She had not intended to go back to university but she found herself there as the new editor of the
Indigenous Law Journal
and Darren had re-enrolled to continue his law degree. She enjoyed being able to see him during the day between his classes and during her breaks.

Rachel had also been thinking about enrolling in a post-graduate degree ever since Patricia Tyndale had started suggesting it. While she always found it hard to say ‘no' to Patricia about anything she also knew that it would be a good way for her to slowly build up her knowledge and expertise, to build a reputation for good work in her own right.

She knew her time with the Aboriginal Legal Service had been a disastrous first step in her career. She had enjoyed the work and was gaining confidence with her abilities but the relationship with Tony had overshadowed everything else. If she hadn't had an ally in Patricia, she wondered how she ever could have summoned the courage to reinvent herself.

The few times she had seen Tony since they broke up were uncomfortable - he could not keep eye contact with her, would fidget, find an excuse to end the conversation. Working with him would have been impossible. She had made the right decision to move on.

Now she had Darren. He might not have Tony's experience or enjoyed the same status in the community but he had plenty of time to gain both. She enjoyed their conversations and shared interests, his stories about his grandmother and, perhaps most of all, his loving, tender way with her. Darren made her happy to just be herself.

Whenever Rachel thought of Carol Turner she would grin. Rachel had already left the Legal Service by the time Darren came back to pick up the transcripts Tony had been given to approve. As Darren told the story, when he walked through the door Carol had said, ‘I think you came for these.' He nodded as she handed him an envelope. ‘And this,' she'd added, scribbling Rachel's new email address on a scrap of paper.

Later in the day Darren will find the piece of paper slipped into his lunchbox.

Their strange period establishing historical tradition -8 letters.

He will think about it during the afternoon, reverting to meditating on it during the lulls in his contracts lecture. He could never do cryptic crosswords before but there are tricks and, once you know them, they are easier to master. He is proud that he is learning to do them. It is just one more thing that Rachel has given him that he treasures.

Later that day he will smile as he writes at the bottom of her note -
heritage.

41

BOSTON, USA

‘Hi Dad. What are you up to?'

‘Just going through some notes for a meeting tomorrow. You know, catching up on my reading. This is a nice surprise.'

‘I thought I better check up on my old pa. See how you are handling life in a shared house.'

‘There are no all-night parties.' He seems to struggle to make a joke. ‘Have you heard from your mother?'

‘I spoke with her this morning.'

‘How is she?'

‘She's good. Enjoying her new jobs I think. Aren't you two talking?'

‘She's asked me to leave her alone for a while.' He sounds forlorn, worn out.

‘She probably thinks that is kinder for you both, you know.'

‘Well, I miss her.'

‘I know you do, Dad.'

I spoke to Mum earlier in the day. She is changing her name back to Beth Ann Gibson and told me she now better understood why Dad was always so focused on ‘self-determination' and ‘sovereignty'. ‘There is nothing more liberating than taking control of your own life,' she announced. I have seen no signs of regret from her about the end of her marriage. The kindest thing I can do for my father is to change the subject.

‘I just rang to say that I finished the book you sent me. I remembered when you read it to me the first time. I must have been about twelve. I didn't understand it then like I understood it this time.'

‘He was always one of my favourites, George Orwell.'

‘Even though it was about the Russian revolution, the message at its centre is kind of universal. The idea that a society's ideologies can be manipulated and twisted by those in positions of power is evident everywhere, even today.'

‘Yes, it's the sad irony that the book encapsulates: that a utopian society is made impossible by the corrupting nature of the very power that is needed to make it. Orwell was a journalist, remember, and he knew the power of words. Especially of simplistic mantras, manipulative explanations and propaganda.'

‘There was just one thing that puzzled me.'

‘What was that? '

‘The inscription on the inside cover. A list of five points.' I'd seen them as soon as I opened the book, scrawled in a version of Dad's writing:

1. Become someone new

2. Make sure you stay in the spotlight

3. Know who you are dealing with

4. Make people believe

5. Appeal to self-interest, never to mercy or gratitude

‘It was a silly thing really. I wrote them down the night I left the mission with your Uncle Arthur and hitched my way to the Tent Embassy. Anyway, don't take any notice of them. They were a bit misguided, I think. But I wanted you to have the book. It was the only thing I took with me when I left home.'

‘I admire the way you came from there and made something of your life, made something for me.'

‘All you can do is try,' he says with resignation.

‘Well, I better go,' I say.

‘You know you're my favourite child, don't you?'

‘I'm your only child.'

‘But if I had a hundred, you'd still be my favourite.'

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

The work of Gary Foley and John Maynard provided invaluable insights into the political background to the Tent Embassy and its lasting legacy. So did the many conversations I had with my father, talks that shaped my politics and my understanding of our history.

Extract on p. 49 from Kevin Gilbert, ‘Because a White Man will Never Do It' reproduced with kind permission from his daughter Kerry Reed-Gilbert.

Christopher Hitchens's
Letters to a Young Contrarian,
Michael Dirda's
Book by Book
and Francine Prose's
Reading Like a Writer
were inspirations during the writing of this story.

Thank you to Madonna Duffy and Janet Hutchinson, Elyce Newton, Geoff Scott and my mother, Raema Behrendt.

First published 2009 by University of Queensland Press
PO Box 6042, St Lucia, Queensland 4067 Australia

www.uqp.com.au

© Larissa Behrendt

This book is copyright. Except for private study, research, criticism or reviews, as permitted under the Copyright Act, no part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any foram or by any means without prior written permission. Enquiries should be made to the publisher.

Typeset by Post Pre-Press Group

This project has been assisted by the Commonwealth Government through the Australia Council, its arts funding and advisory body.

Cataloguing in Publication Data
National Library of Australia

Behrendt, Larissa
Legacy

1. Aboriginal Australians – Fiction    I. Title.

ISBN 9780702237331 (pbk)
ISBN 9780702245909 (pdf)
ISBN 9780702245930 (epub)
ISBN 9780702245916 (kindle)