Leaving (16 page)

“That’s fine.” Devin looked very serious. He stroked his chin like a businessman considering a high-risk investment. “Hmmm. Okay, Maddie. You can sell the busgetti.”

Cole sent a quick look to Landon, but Landon only put his
finger to his lips. “Shhh …” He leaned closer to Cole, his voice a whisper. “Let him have spaghetti at his circus.”

Maddie considered the job for a moment. “Okay. I can do that. As long as I don’t have to wear tights.”

Devin turned to his Uncle Peter, Maddie’s father. “And you, Uncle Peetah, you’ll be my policeman. So no bad guys try to break into the circus without paying their tickets.”

“Very nice.” Peter nodded, fully accepting his duties. He was a doctor by day, but clearly he embraced what would be a definite change of pace. “I think I’ll like that.”

“And you, Mommy,” he didn’t stick to an exact order, “you’ll be the flying girl …” Devin’s diction made it sound like he had assigned her the position of “flying ghoul.”

Ashley bit the inside of her cheek so she wouldn’t crack a smile. “I like flying … that’s perfect for me.”

“Right.” Devin sized her up. “Hmmm … You’ll wear a red costume … and blue ribbons in your hair …” He paused. “And American flag tights.” He swung his arms from one side to the other. “And you’ll fly back and forth across the whole … big, long circus.” He didn’t quite smile. The matter was very serious to him. “Can you live with that?”

Ashley swallowed another bit of laughter. “Definitely.”

Beside her, Landon brushed his cheek against hers, his voice low. “I’d like a private showing of those American flag tights.”

“Thank you.” She grinned at him. “I’ll be sure to set that up.”

Devin continued for another ten minutes until everyone had a job. The cotton candy seller, a joke teller, someone to wave flags as they walked around the room. But, he saved his grandpa for last. “And Grandpa … you’re the lion tamer, okay?”

“Okay.” Ashley’s father puffed out his chest. “That’s because I’m the strongest man in the circus. Right, buddy?”

“No.” Devin didn’t catch the teasing in his grandfather’s tone. “That’s Daddy!”

Landon grinned at Ashley’s dad. “What can I say?”

Ashley wanted to freeze the moment, hold on forever to this time when everyone was healthy and happy and thinking about the role they’d play in Devin’s circus … when Devin believed Landon wasn’t only the strongest man in the room but in the whole wide world.

Devin smiled sweetly at his grandpa. “You tame the lions ‘cause you’re the nicest, Grandpa.” He spoke with the patience of a teacher. “And the only way to tame a lion is to be extra nice.”

“Oh.” Her dad sank a little, drawing easy laughter from the others. “You don’t think it’ll be too dangerous, then?”

“Hmmm.” Devin stroked his chin again. “I know.” His eyes lit up. “Uncle Ryan can take out the lions’ teeth first.” He nodded, convinced the plan was a good one. “Right, Uncle Ryan. That can be another job for you. Can you live with that?”

“I hope so.” He made a concerned face. “Selling pop and taking out the lions’ teeth.” Ryan was Kari’s husband and the football coach at Clear Creek High. He was tall and built like the college football player he had once been. But in this moment he looked very nervous. “I might have to contact my lawyer about that.”

Devin hesitated, not sure if his uncle was playing it straight with him. But given the seriousness of his circus he nodded. “Okay. Do that first.”

Everyone had a position, and Ashley was about to wrap up the discussion when Devin gasped loudly, “I ‘most forgot!” He looked around the room, nearly frantic. “I need someone to run the ‘magination machine.”

Ashley squinted at her son. Of all the things he had talked about regarding his circus, this was something new. “The what?”

“The ‘magination machine.” He used his hands to illustrate a contraption that would be big as his arms could reach and possibly taller and bulkier. “It’s this size, and it fits on a person’s head like this.” He struggled to lift the invisible creation onto his head.

“Buddy, what’s it do?” Ashley’s dad put his arm around Elaine, his eyes twinkling. “I might volunteer for this.”

“Good.” Devin talked as fast as he could, the ideas coming to him with lightning speed. “The ‘magination machine sits on the person’s head and taps into their brainwaves and it helps bring their ‘magination back to life!”

“You mean their imagination?” Ashley knew this wasn’t a joke to Devin. She treated the situation with respect.

“Right.” A burst of joy spread across Devin’s face. “The ‘magi-nation machine! People would come to the circus and pay five dollars, and someone has to put it on their head and then …
Bzzzz!”
He pretended to push a button. “Their ‘magination comes back to life!”

Ashley sat back a little. She looked around the room and saw that she wasn’t the only one touched by Devin’s belief in the power of imagination. She blinked back tears but kept her smile intact. “I like it, Devin buddy. I think people would want to come to your circus just for that.”

“I’d charge more than five dollars.” Ryan cast a definite look at Ashley’s father. “Keep that in mind if you run it.”

Landon’s smile had grown tender in this recent exchange. “Buddy, why do you think people need to have their imagination brought back to life?”

“Because.” Devin held up his hands and let them fall to his sides again. His smile dropped off for the first time since he’d started talking about his circus, and his eyes held a sort of tragic sadness. “When people get older … their ‘magination sometimes hides in a corner.”

For a few seconds no one said anything, and Ashley understood why. Every adult in the room was considering the very real possibility. At one time they might’ve all dreamed of a circus with toothless lions and spaghetti for dinner. But now … maybe Devin
was right. Maybe an imagination machine would help all of them. The idea had certainly lightened Ashley’s mood.

Then — and even later as the red carpet event started and everyone gathered around the television to watch Dayne, and Luke, and their families, and the Flanigans, and Brandon Paul — Ashley still thought about Devin’s comment. She made a plan to work on the painting of Cole and Landon tonight when everyone was asleep. If she wasn’t careful, her fears could kill her creativity — and she’d be first in line for Devin’s imagination machine. And she made another plan too. As she painted she would pray for her husband’s health, and for Cole and Devin and Janessa. That they would have many more nights like this one.

And that not for a minute would their imaginations ever hide in the corner.

B
RANDON WAS RIGHT ABOUT THE RED CARPET EVENT
. T
HE
paparazzi that lined up half a block in either direction of the pathway into the theater was far greater than the crowd that had waited for them outside the
Tonight Show.
Bailey had never imagined anything like this. As she and her family and Brandon Paul piled out of his private limo, she wondered for a brief instant if an explosion had gone off, if maybe some terrorist was wreaking havoc on their otherwise perfect day. But it was only the combined flash power of too many cameras to count.

Even so, only as she stood, as her ivory floor-length gown fell around her ankles and she smiled for the crowd, did she realize just what magnitude of attention Brandon Paul commanded. “Don’t think about it,” Brandon whispered near her cheek. “Just keep smiling.”

She nodded, and a sense of peace came over her. With Brandon leading the way, she could do this. They all could. Ahead of them on the red carpet were Dayne Matthews and Luke Baxter and their families. Even the kids were dressed for the event, with miniature tuxedoes and pretty dresses.

Bailey felt like a princess at the biggest ball of the year, arriving with the prince every other girl wished was at their sides. She hesitated, smiling and waving at the crowd as she and Brandon moved aside and waited while her brothers, and finally her parents, stepped out of the limo. Her brothers wore new suits their mom found on sale. At the time, they had all complained that no
one would expect them to be dressed up, and that they couldn’t move in suit jackets.

But here, they quickly embraced the part.

“Wow!” Ricky said it as loud as he could, and even then the sound was drowned out by the cry of questions from reporters and the clicking of cameras. He waved and grinned, and the other brothers did the same thing. But as much fun as the attention was, none of them wanted to linger in this kind of limelight. They hurried down the red carpet and caught up to Luke and Dayne. Her parents walked fairly quickly also, careful to wave and smile. Her dad was well known in the media because of his coaching position. Brandon had told them he was pretty sure the magazines would run pictures of Bailey’s parents.

Bailey and Brandon took their time.

After all, the press had gathered mostly for Brandon Paul, in celebration of his new movie, and out of curiosity for the change in faith he’d publicly declared, and to see proof of his new, conservative lifestyle — also, of course, to see if there was more than friendship between Brandon and his new leading lady. Before tonight, when Bailey pictured this moment, she imagined staying with her parents and letting Brandon walk the carpet alone. It was his starring role, really. His place to shine alone, without her taking any of the attention. Not only that, but she hadn’t wanted the paparazzi guessing at what the two of them shared.

But ever since the walk up from the beach, Bailey had been dizzy with everything about Brandon. He handled himself with professionalism at the studio meet-and-greet, careful to shield her from scrutiny or direct questions about her future plans to act. She had no plans to audition for more films, and he knew that. But he had told her on the way into the studio to keep her options open. Just in case. So when the president of the studio asked if she’d be interested in more films, Brandon answered for her.

“Bailey promised me that if she’s asked to do a love story, she’d
want me to co-star.” He smiled fondly at her, clearly teasing and keeping the moment light, directing the attention off her answer. As if he would be second in billing to her anytime soon. “Right, Bailey?”

“Yes.” She laughed. “What are friends for?”

He was a gentleman then, and as they were whisked on to their next meeting — the dinner with his agent — and then back at his house where a crew of makeup artists waited to help them get ready for tonight. Through it all, Brandon played perfectly the role of her doting friend, her protector, and confidant. She had long since become convinced that he was serious. What he’d told her earlier on the mountain path was exactly how he felt. Now it was only a matter of Bailey agreeing that maybe … despite his crazy life in Hollywood, they might have a chance.

With all that in mind, when he asked her in the limo on the way to the red carpet event whether she wanted to walk alone or whether she would give him the honor of walking with him, she had only one answer. The one that was right, and the one that overflowed from her heart. “Yes, Brandon … I’ll walk with you.”

And so here they were, the two of them taking the walk down a red carpet that felt a mile long. They turned one way and then the other, and Brandon alternated between having his arm around her and waving for the cameras. She felt lightheaded and breathless, grateful for Brandon’s peace and strong presence beside her.

“Are you two dating? Tell us, Brandon!”

“Brandon … over here!”

“Bailey … give him a kiss … show us that you’re in love!”

She laughed in amazement at the audacity of some of the requests being shouted at them. Brandon maintained his smile, but he spoke in a voice loud enough for only her to hear. “Ignore them … they’re fishing … just keep smiling, keep waving.”

His words were like balm to her soul, the only thing that kept her calmly moving down the length of the carpet. After what
felt like an hour of smiling and waving, they finally entered the theater. Inside there were more recognizable faces than Bailey had expected. Everyone who had starred in movies in the last five years seemed to be mingling and sharing appetizers and champagne.

Again, Bailey wasn’t overly shaken by the celebrities in the room. She had hoped to see her former college roommate Andi here, but Andi’s dad — Keith Ellison, who was one of the producers from
Unlocked
—had explained that she was at a weekend retreat. She was healing from the last few years, still finding her way after giving her infant son up for adoption, and definitely getting stronger in her faith. They would have to catch up some other time.

“You don’t look nervous.” Brandon seemed entirely focused on her, practically oblivious to the actors in the room.

“I’m not.” She smiled at him, feeling composed and ready for the night. But for the first time she realized how great the mission field in Hollywood really was. Across from them were a couple who openly practiced Kaballah, and down a few groups was a female pop star who proudly bragged about making out with girls and guys — usually at the same parties.

“I bet I can read your mind,” Brandon held her hand. He leaned in, his words barely louder than a whisper. In this space, they could stand closer together, be the sort of friends Bailey enjoyed being with him. No one in here would talk about them in the morning. They all had their own dramas to tend to.

“What?” Bailey took a glass of sparkling water from a waiter passing by, and Brandon did the same. She clinked glasses with his and batted her eyes, enjoying everything about the moment. “What am I thinking?”

“How godless Hollywood is.” A sadness shaded his eyes, though his smile never left his face. “Right?”

“Sort of.” The room was loud, people decked out and connecting
with one another all around them. But the two of them might as well have been back on the hillside path headed up from the beach. He still had hold of her hand, and they were facing each other. So their conversation was private from others nearby. “I guess … I was thinking how much work there is to do. How badly we need actors who love the Lord … working here, practicing their faith.” She smiled, proud of him. “So the movie industry might see what living for God looks like.”

“Hmmm.” He clinked her glass again. “Cheers to that.” They took sips of their water and looked at each other, not necessarily needing words.

“It’s my turn.” She giggled, grateful for this time with him.

“Never.” He gave her his familiar teasing smile. “No one reads my mind.”

“Mmmm.” She laughed. “I have to try.” She waited, watching him, searching his soul. Had this really been just one day? It felt like she’d been here in Southern California with Brandon for a week or longer. Already they felt closer than at any time during the shooting of
Unlocked.
“You’re thinking if Hollywood needs more Christian actors … why won’t I audition for another movie.”

He didn’t even pretend to laugh at the idea. Instead, his expression immediately filled with a longing that had been there a number of times that day. “You got me, Bailey Flanigan.” He rubbed his thumb tenderly along the top of her hand. “That’s exactly what I’m thinking.”

Bailey had to admit, in that moment she wasn’t sure of her answer. She had always wanted to perform — and always on Broadway. Until now she believed that God would lead her to a stage in New York City where she would sing and dance and shine for Him. But clearly God had closed that door … since Francesca Tilly and her staff still hadn’t called. So what did that mean? And why was her heart doing flip-flops with Brandon Paul standing close enough to kiss her?

The mingling wound down, but not before Brandon introduced her to a few dozen A-list actors. Each time he said the same thing. “I’d like you to meet my friend Bailey.” Like he’d told her, no one in the room would talk about them to the press or gossip about them in the morning. The introduction was purely out of respect for her, and Bailey couldn’t express in words how much the gesture meant.

By the time they made it across the room to where her parents and brothers, Luke and Dayne, and their families were hanging out, it was time to move into the theater. They did so with a sense of thrill and anticipation that created an almost electric feeling amidst the crowd. As they took their seats — Brandon on one side of Bailey and Connor on the other — Bailey felt the presence of God’s Spirit in the room.

You’re doing something new, aren’t You, Lord? I can feel it …

Yes, daughter … Look at the new thing I am going to do. It is already happening … don’t you see it?

The verse was from Isaiah chapter 43, something Bailey had studied last semester in her Campus Crusade meetings. The fact that God brought it to mind now was further proof of what she already believed in her heart. That God was at work in Hollywood, and that He was about to use Brandon Paul and
Unlocked
in a very powerful way. So where did that leave her?

Bailey had no answers for herself, but for the next two hours she relished the feel of her hand in Brandon’s and her family all around her. The movie was better than she remembered it, but Brandon had told her she’d feel that way. Halfway through the film he leaned over and whispered, “See … nothing like watching it in a theater on opening night.”

She nodded, grateful again for the experience and swept away by Brandon’s performance as the autistic Holden Harris. “Brandon, … you’re so good.” She put her face close to his. “I mean … you’re unbelievable.”

He winked at her. “I’ve been trying to tell you that.”

A quiet ripple of laughter lightened the moment, and they fell quiet through the rest of the film. When it was over, the audience gave the movie a standing ovation and the party and celebration lasted until well after midnight. By the time they pulled into Brandon’s garage, her brothers were asleep again, and they had only a few hours before the Flanigans had to catch a plane in the morning.

Brandon helped wake up the boys, and when everyone was in bed, he asked Bailey out onto the downstairs deck, the one that was larger and not attached to a bedroom. She was glad he wasn’t too tired to talk. He’d been right about their private time. Even though they were side-by-side through the night, they’d had very little time to talk.

When they were outside, they leaned against the railing and Bailey was struck once more by how long the day had seemed. How long and yet how short. “It seems like only a moment ago I was standing on the bedroom balcony dreaming about this day.” She turned to him. “Now it’s over.”

He took her hands, his eyes shining in the darkness. “It doesn’t have to be.”

“Brandon.” She shook her head and looked out at the moon on the water. “You’re in the middle of shooting a new movie, and I …” she turned to him again, “I’m back in Bloomington.” She liked the idea more than ever, but the practicalities seemed too great to overcome. “I mean … explain yourself. How does this not have to end?”

“Don’t you see?” He took a step closer, his sincerity so real and raw it took her breath. “You finish up your classes and move here. My agent would take you in a minute.” He uttered a nervous laugh. “You heard him earlier today. He’d love the chance to work with you.”

She turned back to the ocean, processing the possibility,
imagining the reality. The surf drowned out the sound of her pounding heart. Was she really considering this? Could she leave Bloomington and her dreams of Broadway? Could she finally walk away from Cody and leave everything about the past behind her? She breathed in deep, fighting to stand when everything in her trembled with fear for the adventure he was suggesting to her.

“You’re thinking about it.” He turned, facing the water, his arm close against hers. There was a thrill in his voice that hadn’t been there before. “You’re actually thinking about it.”

“You asked me to.” She smiled, trying to keep the moment from slipping somewhere too deep to return from, trying not to commit herself to someplace from which there would be no coming back. No matter how hard her heart pounded.

“Bailey, …” he faced her again and tenderly ran his hand along her arm. “You know how I feel … I’ve been honest.” He searched her eyes. “But you … you haven’t said … if you feel any of what I’m feeling.” Brandon’s confidence was something that magnified his charm and appeal. But here, before her, he looked shaken, like it had taken all his bravery to ask the question. “Do you feel it, Bailey?”

The night was warm, same as the day, but even so Bailey felt herself begin to shiver. If she let herself fall for Brandon Paul, if she gave in to the feelings he’d stirred in her this weekend, she might forget who she’d been a week ago. Her dreams and goals, the way she still planned to find Cody and at least get an explanation from him. All of it wouldn’t matter if she allowed herself to get lost in Brandon Paul’s eyes, if she let her heart take up residence here, with him.