Leaves of Revolution (4 page)

“William and I will have to return to the party,” Quinn said. “We can’t just disappear.”

Marcus nodded. “After you feed the baby, you return for a short time before we announce a formal exit. Samuel should stay here under guard, though.”

“That’s going to cause a problem. Sophia will come unglued if I don’t take Samuel back with me. Do you really think we’re in danger – in our own castle, at a party?” Quinn frowned. “I might want to rip Callum’s throat out myself, but he’s managed to keep his ties from Tolliver separate for this long. Perhaps he’s turned against him?”

Linnea’s hands started shaking again.

“Your Majesty.” Marcus’ voice was quiet, but dark. “With all due respect… We’ve made the mistake of underestimating the potential for danger twice now.”

Quinn’s gaze fell to the floor.

“I, too, would prefer if we could trust everyone in Philotheum, but we can’t. As we’ve discussed, the situation is far more complicated than I think anyone realized, and we don’t know everyone involved, or how far the deception goes. The biggest target in this castle is your son – followed very closely by you. Or perhaps I even have that wrong. I have no idea what Tolliver, and those who support him, are after. We must protect both of you.”

AS QUINN HAD EXPECTED, there was fallout from the decision not to bring Samuel back to the party.

She was alone in her apartment, rocking an almost-asleep Samuel when the pounding on the door started, startling him awake. Instinctively, Quinn stood, moving behind the rocker.

“He should be in bed already,” Sophia snapped as soon as she was inside the room. “If you put him to bed properly, he wouldn’t be too tired to attend functions.”

“He’s only two months old!” Quinn said, taking a step back to keep him away from her grandmother’s outstretched arms.

“Two
what
old? You can’t be teaching him those ridiculous words. He’ll never be fit to rule a kingdom if you don’t train him properly. A prince has a duty to stay at an event until he says a formal farewell. Now give him to me. He needs to be put to bed. In his cradle, like a proper prince.”

“He still needs to be burped.” Quinn took another step back. He didn’t need to, not really, but the rocking and patting motion might help hide the furious shaking of her hands.

“Let me do it.”

When the door opened just as Sophia was reaching for the baby again, Quinn nearly fell over in relief.

Charlotte followed William into the room. She looked calm and composed, but a glint in her eye told Quinn that Charlotte had already assessed the situation. “I thought I’d come in to say goodnight,” she said. “That was a beautiful ceremony today, Sophia. Your planning was just perfect.”

“Thank you, Charlotte. I would have thought you’d be tending your younger children now.”

“They’re in bed, so I thought I’d step in here for a few minutes to spend some of the little time I have left here with William and Quinn. I’ll miss them when we return to Eirentheos the day after tomorrow.”

“I’m glad to hear your children are asleep. I was just attempting to impress upon Quinn the importance of a proper bedtime for a royal child.”

“Yes, I’m sure she’ll be putting him down here in a moment. I’m glad I had the chance to see you again this evening. I was just telling Ellen I hoped I would be able to tell you how beautiful those centerpieces were. She was wondering where you had disappeared to.”

Sophia sighed. “I suppose I’d better go and find her, then.”

“Perhaps we’ll have more time to visit tomorrow. I’ve heard so much about your collection of paintings. I’d love to see them.”

“I’m sure that can be arranged.”

“Wonderful. I’ll talk to you in the morning then.”

Quinn had to use her finger to return her jaw to the right place once Sophia had disappeared into the hall.

“Are the children really asleep?” she asked as she handed Samuel over to Charlotte.

“I didn’t say anything about asleep. They’re in bed – or beds, more precisely. I believe Emma and Alex are trying to determine which mattress is bounciest. Alice might be reading in hers.”

“No. Sarah distracted her,” William said, chuckling. “Now they’re building a hideout with all the quilts they can find. Father was helping, but he somehow wound up with three babies in his lap, so now he’s giving directions.”

“Oh, I wish you weren’t leaving,” Quinn said to Charlotte. “I am
never
going to be able to handle my grandmother the way you just did. She was about to rip Samuel out of my arms and put him in the crib so I could listen to him scream. And then she could tell me how he’s only screaming because I’m doing something wrong.”

“She means well,” William said, looking at his mother. “She’s just overly protective of Samuel – and upset that she didn’t get to see him sooner.”

“I know she is. I’m trying to get along with her…” Quinn sighed. She wanted to have a relationship with her grandmother, wished that things could be as easy with her as they were with William’s family.

But Charlotte had narrowed her eyes at her son. “Did you even ask Quinn what Sophia said when she was in here?”

William looked at Quinn guiltily. “No. What did she say?”

“I don’t know. The same kind of stuff as usual. Telling me I need to put him to bed. It doesn’t sound bad when I say it.”

“Of course not,” Charlotte said. “When you repeat it, everyone just tells you she sounds like a concerned, well-meaning grandmother.”

“You don’t think she means well?” William asked, surprise in his voice. “You think she means to upset Quinn?”

“I don’t know whether what she means is good or not, William. I haven’t asked her, and I’m guessing you haven’t either. I
hope
she means well. It’s always helpful to assume that someone means well. The
problem
, as it concerns you, is that it doesn’t matter what she
means
. Look at your wife.”

He did. Quinn could feel the difference when he really looked, when his steady hand stretched toward her still-shaky one.

“Now,” Charlotte said, lowering her voice as Samuel was getting drowsy in her arms, “at the risk of exposing my own neck as a grandmother, both of you need to understand that being polite to Sophia and trying to get along with her isn’t the same as letting her run over you – over Quinn, especially. If she has good intentions, that’s lovely. It’s still none of her business when or where Samuel sleeps. Or what he eats, or whether he has socks on his feet, or even whether he remains at an event long enough to suit her. She’s not his mother.”

“She is the former queen. She knows more about this than I do. I’ve never been a queen before. Or a mother.”

“So ask for her advice, Quinn. Twenty seconds before she starts in on you, if you can learn to time it. But remember you’re the queen now. And you’re Samuel’s mother. The advice may be hers to give, but the decisions are yours to make.” She kissed the now-sleeping baby on the forehead.

“We do have a guard outside the door,” William said. “We could just ask James not to let her in.”

Quinn chortled. “That would cause more problems than it would solve.”

“Would it?” Charlotte asked. “I’ve no doubt it would upset her, but then she manages to upset both of you nearly every time she comes in here. Do you intrude on Sophia in her rooms?”

“I’ve never even seen the inside of her apartment.”

Charlotte raised her eyebrow knowingly. “You’re allowed to have rules like that, too, Quinn. Don’t confuse being polite and respectful with allowing someone to do whatever they want to you. Some things can’t be solved by giving in.” She looked at Will. “And when Sophia is crossing a line, Quinn needs help standing up to her, not excuses for Sophia’s behavior.”

William nodded.

“You can’t make people be who you wish they were. Sophia may come around, or she may never be quite the grandmother you imagine. In the meantime, William, Quinn needs your ear and your support more than she needs a grandmother. Standing up to Sophia isn’t going to be easy. It would be nice if she had more family, but it’s even more important for the family she has to cover for her.”

Charlotte placed the sleeping infant carefully in William’s arms before turning back to Quinn. “I wish this wasn’t so challenging for you, and I wish I could be closer to help you navigate it. But my first advice is to listen to your feelings. If you feel like she’s overstepping, she is. Be nice, but have rules.” She hugged Quinn tightly. “And if you ever need me to send a message to my son to remind him whose side to take…”

Quinn giggled, glancing toward the bedroom where William had carried their son. “He’s a fast learner. I think we’ll be okay.”

*          *          *

When William came out of the bedroom, Quinn was standing by the window, looking out at the dark night.

“I’m sorry if I’ve been making excuses for Sophia instead of standing up for you,” he said, walking up behind her.

She turned to face him. “I don’t blame you, Will. This is new for both of us. It’s not like you
listened
to her.” She smiled and nodded toward their bedroom, where Samuel was sleeping in a small cot right next to their bed, rather than in the elaborate cradle in the nursery. “Just because your mother has good advice for making things better doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate how you’ve tried.”

“I love you, Quinn.” He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close. “Sometimes I look at you and I think I’m the luckiest man in two worlds, but then I talk to you, and I
know
I am.”

Stretching up on her toes, she kissed him, long and slow. He held her tight, running his fingers through her hair and then down her back until he found the top button of her dress. When he started to unbutton it, though, she pulled back a little and shook her head.

“I’m still waiting for Marcus to report back to me about having Callum Haddon followed.”

“Ah.” He dropped his hand.

“Ready to re-think how lucky you actually are?”

“Definitely not.” He took her hand instead, leading her over toward one of the couches. “So you and Marcus decided to have him followed?”

“For now.” She nodded. “I want to arrest him, but I think this is safer until we understand more about what’s going on. I hope it is, anyway.”

“Does Marcus agree?”

“I think he feels the same way I do. We’d both happily lock him up forever for whatever role he played in Thomas’ kidnapping, but if he still has any connection to Tolliver, this could be the break we’ve been waiting for in finding him.”

“What about Charles? What are his thoughts?” William knew Quinn’s uncle had been included in a meeting earlier.

A shadow passed over Quinn’s expression. “Charles wasn’t exactly unsupportive, but he thinks I should concentrate more on winning over popular opinion in places like Brandleby than on pursuing justice for things that happened before I was queen.”

William felt a little sick to his stomach. “He thinks you should just let Callum get away with being an accomplice to Thomas being tortured?”

“He thinks that perhaps my emotional involvement is preventing me from seeing things in the most politically advantageous light – yeah, I had to take a few deep breaths at that, too.”

“Do you think he’s right?”

“I don’t know. I think there are a lot of reasons he’s right in that we shouldn’t arrest Callum right now. I want him held accountable for his crimes, though. Sooner than later, regardless of politics.”

“Do you still trust Charles?”

She sighed. “Yes. I trust that he wants what’s best for the kingdom and for my reign. I’m not sure he and I agree completely on what that is… But the fact is, as much as I loved spending all that time with your family – being gone for almost three moons and having our son born in Eirentheos has made things more complicated here. It’s not about whether I trust Charles. It’s about whether anyone trusts me.”

He rubbed her shoulder, but he didn’t argue. She wasn’t wrong. “We’ll get there, love. Today was good.”

“Yes. Today was pretty great. Samuel is exhausted. Maybe he’ll actually sleep.”

A knock at the door interrupted them.

“That’ll be Marcus.” William stood.

“I might be in meetings for a while.”

“I’ll wait up for you.”

“You don’t have to. It’s been a long day.”

He shrugged. “I’ll catch some snuggles with Samuel maybe. But there’s a certain topic I think I’d like to finish … um …
discussing
with you later.”

THE DAY AFTER THE Naming Ceremony was the last full day William’s family would be in town before returning to Eirentheos. Zander was hopeful this would mean a day he’d be left mostly to his own devices as everyone tried to make the most of their last minutes all together, so he was more than a little surprised when Stephen followed him to his room after breakfast.

“May I have a word with you, Zander?”

Zander fidgeted, but nodded, wondering if he was in trouble for something.

“You don’t have to look so nervous,” Stephen said once they were inside his room. “I’m only very lightly armed.”

“You’re armed inside the castle with your family?”

“It was supposed to be a joke. I’m really not intending to frighten you. Am I that intimidating?”

“Where I come from, a
king
asking to speak privately with me is about as intimidating as it gets.”

Stephen’s eyes crinkled in amusement. “I can concede that point. However, where you live now I expect it will be a commonplace event.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that.”

“People can get used to most anything, if they try. Adjusting to living in a castle with some friends with fancy titles doesn’t rate impossibly high on the difficulty scale.”

“Even if that castle is in an alternate universe you can’t escape from, and you might never see your family again, and the king you’ll be seeing every day is married to the first girl you ever loved?” He stopped talking and took several steps backward, putting a couch between himself and Stephen. He hadn’t meant to say all of that.

“If you weren’t so scared of me Zander, I’d want to give you a hug. You have certainly had your share of disruption and difficulty lately, particularly being ripped away from your family. I didn’t come in here to speak to you as a king. I came to visit with you because I hoped maybe you wouldn’t mind some conversation with a father.”

Zander stared at him.

“I’m not
your
father, I know. And I could never make up for how much you must be missing him, but I did think that perhaps you could use someone looking after you like one, at least a little.”

“I don’t think you’d be very good at being my father.
My
father wouldn’t be wasting this opportunity to tell me what I have to do with my life. Just before I came here, he’d informed me that I had no choice but to go into business with him. I don’t see you saying that to William or Thomas.”

Stephen raised an eyebrow. “You might reassess my abilities if you talked to my oldest son. He was informed of his life’s work at his Naming Ceremony – I didn’t wait until he was eighteen.”

“Oh.” Zander had never thought about that. “He doesn’t seem to mind.”

“Simon? No. So far as I know he’s always been comfortable with the role he was born into. I suppose I can thank the Maker that my firstborn child is more like his mother than like me.”

“
You
didn’t want to be king?”

“When I was very young, I never thought much about it. I was the heir; I was going to be the king. In my mind, it wasn’t a question – until it was. Until I realized that my brothers and sisters all had choices about what they wanted to do and how they wanted to live, but I didn’t. I watched my father and saw how much responsibility he had – and I saw how much freedom my siblings would have.”

“What would happen if you refused to become king? Can you even do that?”

“The crown would have passed to the son of my father’s oldest brother – yes, there was a time I really thought about it. Especially after Samuel and Nathaniel came to live with us and then discovered the gate. In some ways I envied Samuel his circumstances – the thoughts of a teenage boy, I suppose – but the way things had gone in his kingdom gave him the chance to escape and have the kind of adventures I would never be able to have. And Nathaniel was free in every way. I visited them in your world a few times. At one point I even thought about following them there and not returning.”

“
Whoa.
What changed your mind?”

Stephen sighed, perching on the arm of a couch. “A combination of things, I think. The first was my father. I had a huge fight with him one day – or I meant to, anyway. I told him that he couldn’t force me to be the king and that I was going go live in the other world and do what I wanted with my life.”

Zander let out a low whistle. “I bet that went over well.”

“The reaction you’re imagining is the one I expected – anger, yelling, demanding that I let go of my crazy ideas… That’s not what he did, though.”

“No?”

“No. He was calm – almost scary calm – and he told me it was my life, or it would be, once I was of age. He told me he loved me, and that I had until he died to change my mind, but that he had no intention of leaving his kingdom in the hands of someone who didn’t really want it, anyway. Then he wished me luck at finding the path I wanted to take.”

“And that set you straight?”

“It didn’t
set
me anything. It didn’t change my mind – mostly I was relieved that my father wasn’t furious with me. But it made me think. I spent a lot more time with Samuel and Nathaniel for a while. I learned, slowly, that everyone’s choices in life are limited – either by their circumstances, or by what they value, and usually by both. Making one choice always closes the door on other possibilities. Nobody has freedom from the consequences of their choices. In the end, we have to choose what’s really important to us.”

“And being the king was important to you.”

“Being the king? No, actually. But there were other things I was choosing along with accepting my birthright. I chose my kingdom, to continue the legacy of my father and grandfather. I realized that giving up any of it would be giving up all of it. I would gain one kind of freedom, but lose another. Of course, it didn’t hurt that I met Charlotte and then my priorities changed. It wasn’t just about me then, but about her and our family and our future children. Girls change everything.”

Zander chuckled. He paced back and forth in front of the fireplace as he considered Stephen’s words. “So you think my father was right. I should have just taken the opportunity he was offering me – he’d pay for college and then I’d join him in his business.”

“No. That isn’t what I mean at all. My choice was only the right one for me. My friend Samuel made a different one, you know. He met a girl and chose to stay in your world to be with her and protect her and their child rather than fighting for his crown. His circumstances were different. I didn’t come in here today to talk to you about your father, Zander. I came in here to talk to you about how
your
circumstances are different now.”

“You mean because I might never see my father again anyway.” He stared into the fire, not looking at Stephen.

“Yes. That’s exactly what I mean.”

Zander looked up in surprise.

“I’m not going to shy away from the topic, son. You have enough people around here to do that for you. I’m leaving tomorrow to go back to Eirentheos, so I came today to spend a few minutes discussing the issue nobody wants to discuss with you.”

“What difference does it make whether we discuss it or not? I’m still stuck here. It’s not like I have a choice.”

Stephen stood and took a few steps toward him, although he still kept his distance, not encroaching on the protective space Zander had established for himself. “You don’t have the choice of returning to your world right now, no. You don’t have the choices you thought you were facing at home. Much has been taken from you, and I realize how challenging that is for you. I would love if I knew how to make it easier for you. But you still have choices.”

“Like what? Looking for another gate to get back home?”

“That’s one.” Stephen’s voice was quiet and calm, even in response to Zander’s increasingly hostile tone. “We do know that it’s likely other gates exist. You could choose to spend your time here searching for one. Perhaps the fact that you come from the other world will give you a unique perspective when it comes to finding one. You may be able to do it.”

There was an undertone to Stephen’s words. “But you don’t think I should.”

“I don’t think you
shouldn’t
. There are, of course, many questions surrounding whether or not finding another gate would be beneficial to our world, but my feelings about both you and Quinn tend to override my worries about the danger of finding a gate – I can’t blame you for wanting to find a way back to your families.”

Stephen took another step toward him, making eye contact and dropping his voice even lower. “I do hope that finding a gate and focusing on returning to your world doesn’t become an obsession for you, though, Zander.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… Can I be very honest with you for just a moment?”

Zander shrugged, but took one step backward.

“I know you’re going through a difficult time. I can’t imagine what it’s like for you to lose your entire world and a good friend all in one night. You sacrificed everything for what must feel like nothing in return. You were left nearly alone in a world where the only person you really know is a girl you loved who chose another man. There’s a very soft part of me that wants to treat you the way everyone else is – to give you your space, to appreciate what you gave up for us, and ask you for nothing else. We don’t have any right to ask you for anything. But…” he looked at Zander, a silent warning that he wasn’t finished speaking, “there’s a bigger part of me that is a father. I see you the same way I see my own sons.”

He paused, looking at Zander again. The expression in his gray eyes was warm, but firm. He
looked
like a father – almost as much as he looked like a king. Zander couldn’t bring himself to speak.

“My greatest wish for all of my own children has always been that they would find purpose in their lives – that they would learn to give themselves over to others and to the world around them. Having purpose – and fulfilling that purpose – is the only real way to find happiness. In your world, I believe you would have found it. Perhaps you would have learned to eventually find purpose in working with your father, or maybe you would have found it somewhere else. I don’t want to see you lose that, too. You live here now, and I want you to have purpose here – not just be floundering and hoping to be ignored for the indefinite future.”

Zander sank down onto the arm of a chair. “I don’t think I can just ride to the market and pick up some purpose.”

Stephen chuckled. “I like you, Zander. More than you probably think I do. Enough that you’re already another reason I wish I wasn’t going to be so far away. You’re right in that it’s not so easy to find purpose. You can’t buy it, and I can’t give it to you, either. All I can offer you is a start – something productive to do with your time while you search.”

“Like what?”

“I would like you to consider training to be a guard.”

There were words, there had to be, but he couldn’t find them.

“It wouldn’t have to be a permanent decision, but it would be something. It would give you a chance to gain some new skills and meet some new people as well. I think it might be good for you to make some attachments here outside of Quinn’s inner circle.”

“Can I just do that? Just become a guard?”

“Yes. It’s normally a long process but you’re a special case – already a decorated hero. You’d start out in training – Dorian Blackwelder has agreed to take you on as an apprentice, if you’re willing. Truthfully, Zander – Quinn could use another guard she can trust implicitly.”

“Does Quinn know you’re asking me this?”

“Yes. Although I will admit this was my idea. While she agrees that you might enjoy it and that she would be honored to have you among her guards, she was very wary of asking you. She doesn’t want you to feel as though she expects it, or that you’re not welcome here without taking on such a role. As I said when I came in here, this entire conversation is me overstepping and acting as a father. I’m suggesting this because I want you to find a way to be happy here. Maybe even meet a girl.”

He raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think meeting a girl is a great idea when I’m lying about who I am and where I came from, and I might leave and go back to another world someday.”

“
That
, right there is exactly what I’m worried about,” Stephen said, sighing. “I’m worried that you’re going to put your entire life – your entire self – on hold while you wait for a possibility that may never come. You’re here, and you need to live like you’re here. If you have the chance to return to your world someday, and that’s what you choose, you can deal with the consequences then. As far as the lying, when you meet the right girl, you won’t have to. You’ll know she’s the right girl because you’ll be able to tell her everything about your real self.”

“I’m sure that will go over well. You can’t tell me you’d allow one of your daughters to marry someone claiming to be from another world.”

“I’ll let you think about that statement for a moment, son. But I will tell you that I never demanded William and Quinn live here in this world to be together. If Quinn hadn’t decided to pursue her throne, I’m nearly certain William would have stayed in the other world with her. I would have hated it, but I would have given them my blessing.”