Leaves of Revolution (29 page)

“No. Honestly, I think he either doesn’t notice that you’re only doing it to him, or else… I don’t know. It’s kind of like he thinks he deserves it or something. He’s been different around you, too.”

“Did you jump down his throat about it, too?”

“Never mind. You are cranky to everyone.”

“See?” Linnea kicked playfully at Quinn’s foot.

Quinn rolled her eyes. “But no, I didn’t talk to him because he hasn’t been
mean
to you, just more distant than he was. And besides, while Zander and I can talk about a lot of things together now, I have a feeling
this
topic might never be an appropriate one for him and me.”

Linnea was giving her a death glare now, but Quinn decided she didn’t care. Whatever was going on was making Linnea more miserable than she needed to be already.

“Did you two kiss or something, Nay?”

“No!” Linnea’s response was so emphatic and immediate that Quinn knew she wasn’t lying, but the brilliant magenta that lit up her cheeks and forehead gave away the rest of the story.

“Oh, Nay.” She slid down onto the cushion beside Linnea, scooting as close to her as she could get. “You like him.”

“No I don’t.”

She raised an eyebrow.

“I have a dead husband and I’m about to have a baby. We’re in the middle of a
war
. I can’t go liking a man from another world that my sister used to court. So no, I don’t.”

Quinn reached for Linnea’s hand and squeezed it. “I don’t think it works that way. All of those things might be true, but none of them have anything to do with how you feel.”

Linnea made a noise in the back of her throat. “I don’t know how I feel.”

“That’s probably because you’ve loaded it all up with all of this other stuff about what you should and shouldn’t be allowed to feel. I’m not going to tell you what I think you should do, because I know I can’t anyway.”

“There’s nothing for me to do, Quinn. It’s just how things are.”

“No. You still have choices. For starters, it doesn’t matter even a little bit that Zander and I once dated. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m married now, and he doesn’t have feelings for me anymore. So as far as this little list you’re keeping in your head of why it’s impossible – you can cross that one off. You’ve got enough real issues without inventing ridiculous ones.”

She chuckled, which made Quinn smile – and her heart ache. None of these things felt like excuses to Linnea. Everything just hurt.

“Nay…” Her voice was nearly a whisper. “The last thing Ben would ever have wanted is for you to hold yourself back from something good for his sake.”

The entire piece of yarn was going to come loose from that blanket – Linnea already had it halfway unraveled. “I know that. He was a guard – we had that conversation before he ever proposed. I think he’d come back and yell at me if he found out I wasn’t happy.”

“Ben yelling at you for any reason is not something I can picture.”

“Okay, maybe I meant I’d have done that to him if the situation was reversed.”

Quinn smiled. “That sounds more accurate.”

“That’s why you love me.”

“It is one of the reasons, yes…. So, if it’s not actually about me and Zander, and it’s not really about Ben… what is it?”

“You already said it, Quinn. When you said I shouldn’t hold myself back from something good. You might be right about that – but how do I know what’s good? Even if I did like him, I don’t know how he feels about me.”

Quinn knew. Although she wasn’t sure Zander was aware of the answer.

“And even if he liked me, so what? I’m still about to have another man’s child, and it’s not fair to ask anyone else to take that on, least of all a guy who might want to go back to his own world someday if that’s ever possible.”

Quinn closed her eyes. She couldn’t argue with that.

“And if that wouldn’t be enough on its own – we’re still in the middle of the war here, and he’s a guard.”

He was a guard Quinn hadn’t been sending to battles, who’d been “safely” ensconced with them at Tobias’ house ever since the incident that had cost Max his arm. She told herself it was all because Zander was much more valuable to her in the command room, planning and strategizing – and that was true – but she couldn’t deny that part of it was how much killing Callum and seeing what happened to Max had affected Zander. He might have been a born planner, but he wasn’t a fighter.

And she knew there was also at least a small part of keeping him here that was because of the same thing Linnea was saying.

It wasn’t safe to be anyone right now – least of all a guard.

And Linnea had already been through too much of that.

So instead of launching any more of the arguments that had seemed so well-planned when she’d first thought of them, Quinn held out her arms toward Linnea for a hug.

“I’ll try to be nicer to him, okay?” Linnea said, after a few minutes.

“Okay.”

“Ooh, feel that.”

Quinn laid her hand over the place Linnea pointed to on her belly. Underneath, the baby pushed and twisted, maybe snuggling up to the warmth and pressure. “Well, at least something good is coming soon,” she cooed to Linnea’s stomach.

ONCE UPON A TIME, William had told her that winters in this world were milder than the ones in the mountains of Colorado where she’d grown up.

She no longer believed him.

The newest storm brought raging wind and pounding snow for the better part of a week.

When the sun finally appeared after six days, it took eight men three solid hours to dig open Tobias’ large barn.

Of course they’d heard nothing from Jonathan during the snow. Travel would have been impossible for even the most adventurous bird. But once the storm ended, the weather turned clear and bright. Quinn found herself watching the sky much too frequently, waiting for more answers, wanting some kind of a plan – or at least to know what Jonathan really wanted from her.

But no message came.

They sent birds out looking for him, too. Larya, of course, but Aelwyn and Raeyan also spent hours searching.

All of them returned with empty canisters.

By the third day, when the snow had melted enough to contemplate traveling again, Quinn and her advisors resumed their plans for slowly pushing their occupation east, into the more central regions of Philotheum.

After a full day of planning, Kian and thirty other guards left Tobias’ to meet up with a larger regiment at the Lincliff base before they made a move on a new village.

They returned two hours later escorting Jonathan.

Forewarned by a message, Quinn, Marcus, Maxwell, Zander, and Ethan were waiting on the porch when Kian led Jonathan through the gate.

Kian clearly trusted Jonathan less than Quinn did. He’d forced him to dismount before Tobias’ property came into view, and had escorted him personally. Jonathan’s hands were tied behind his back, and Kian’s sword was drawn.

Quinn wasn’t convinced that was necessary, but if she was being honest it sort of amused her, so she didn’t say anything. She wondered if having a prince brought before her in shackles was “queenly” enough for her uncle.

Jonathan, for his part, didn’t seem disturbed at all. In fact, when they stopped at the bottom of the stairs, the way he smirked up at her answered her question.

“Nice place you have here, Your Majesty.”

She shrugged, watching his expression. “I suppose it’s not as impressive as a castle, but it will do.”

“Yes, I’m sure it’s been a lovely temporary dwelling – but don’t you think it’s about time to get your castle back?”

This time, his tone made her chuckle. “You say that like it’s just a matter of walking in the door.”

He grimaced. “It may be just a tad more complicated than
that
.”

“And what do you suggest?”

He twisted his head from side to side, looking at the guards who held him. “Any chance you might untie me and then we could discuss it somewhere other than knee-deep in the snow?”

Quinn glanced down at the clean, shoveled steps under her feet and then at her unbound wrists.

Jonathan laughed out loud. “My darling niece has indeed learned something about being a queen.”

She looked at Kian. “You’ve got his weapons, right?”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

“You can untie him. Marcus and Zander, please take him to the sitting room for me.”

Although Kian was clearly on edge about leaving her with minimal security, Quinn invited only Max, Zander, and Marcus into the room with her and Jonathan.

Jonathan stared at Max. “I guess I’ve missed quite a bit.”

“Only everything,” Quinn agreed.

“Who was responsible for that?” He nodded to Max’s arm.

Max cleared his throat. “I don’t know whose arrow it was – some poor drafted kid who’s dead now. But I hold Callum Haddon responsible.”

“And Callum – where is he?”

“He’s no longer a problem,” Quinn said.

“Impressive.” Jonathan walked toward the map on the desk, but Zander stepped in front of him.

“There’s another map on the wall if you need one,” Zander said.

Quinn nodded at him – the one on the desk showed all of the information about where her troops were stationed and their movements.

“You don’t trust me at all, do you Quinn?”

“Should I, Jonathan? I haven’t heard from you in moons, and then you just show up here out of the blue, alone – why would you be alone? And how did you find me anyway?”

“Really, Your Majesty? Did you think you could keep your location secret forever when you’re establishing a formidable army in one section of the kingdom? It took a while, I’ll admit, but you can hardly expect it’s still a secret at this point. And speaking of your army – do you think I’d be standing here to talk to you if I’d tried to get through to you with guards of my own?”

She glanced at Marcus. He didn’t say anything, but at this point she could read his face so well she didn’t need him to. They could buy Jonathan’s explanation – for now.

“So what made you decide to show up here now?”

Jonathan laced his fingers together, staring at his hands for a minute before looking back up at her. “You’ve done well, Quinn. Better than I would have expected. You have the support you need to do this thing. Word has spread – even to the parts of the kingdom you haven’t been able to reach. And Stephen’s troops are making major headway up through the border. But you’re out of time. You need to get your kingdom back under your control before the tide turns.”

A cold chill crept from her neck to her knees. “Out of time
how?
”

“You have, I imagine, begun to get reports from your easternmost bases about increased cases of pimaeum?”

Zander let out a dark oath.

Her knees went so weak she had to lean against the back of an armchair. They’d been battling the illness sporadically all winter. William and Nathaniel couldn’t figure out where it was coming from, but treating everyone around each case of infection had been helping, and they’d been able to find a way to make more medicine. Lately, though, it had been getting harder to keep up.

“You have to realize there are no depths to which Tolliver will not sink,” Jonathan said. “They tried it at the castle before the invasion, with infected blankets and curtains, but it didn’t work like they’d intended.”

She closed her eyes.
Except on Linnea, who’d been susceptible because of her pregnancy.

“But those bases of yours – guards huddled together in hastily built shelters and tents? And once they figured out how much more effective it is to plant an infected
person
than an object…”

Now Quinn had to sit down.

Zander looked like steam might begin pouring out of his ears.

They’d missed it. Again. Even after Zander had pointed out that Dovelnia and Tolliver had been using “biological warfare” since before Quinn had even come to Deusterros.

“He has guards willing to risk
death
to carry this disease into my bases?”

“I don’t know how much the guards are being told about what they’ve been exposed to. I only know that a lot of them who are sneezing are being assigned as spies. Some of them may know – he’s found ones willing to work with rabid animals if you’ll remember. But it’s not just your bases, Quinn.”

She closed her eyes. Her façade of standing up and looking like a powerful queen fell to pieces as she curled her legs against her chest.

Zander and Marcus covered her immediately, coming to stand to either side of her protectively.

“The villages…” she squeaked out.

“They’ve figured out what you’re doing, Your Majesty. It was brilliant, and it worked. But the places you’ve not yet occupied are in imminent danger of destruction, and the towns where your soldiers are… many of them are already under silent attack. Well, silent aside from the coughing in marketplaces, inns, and churches.”

Quinn was silent for several minutes, trying to process everything he’d just told her. It didn’t work. She was going to need more time, and to talk with people besides Jonathan.

“Tell me about the situation in Wellham.”

He nodded, sitting down in a chair across from her. “For obvious reasons, I wasn’t forthcoming with all of the information about the situation in Wellham. The city is secure at present, and has been for a considerable amount of time. Both Ellen and Charles are there, and they’ve established a strong army of Philothean soldiers themselves.”

Max whistled. “Wellham is awfully close to the castle to accomplish a feat like that.”

“It was very risky,” Jonathan agreed. “It’s possible you underestimate what some people are willing to do for you.”

“Willing to do for the history of the kingdom and the prophecy, anyway.”

“And you, Quinn. Although I admit to seeing where you might have trouble believing that.”

“
Might have trouble
? Where’s your mother these days, Jonathan?”

“My mother – your father’s mother –
Tolliver’s
mother – is in the castle, Your Majesty. Despairing over the level of fire damage to the building, no doubt.”

“And yet I only
might
have trouble trusting that my own family supports me?”

“Touché. Regardless, Wellham is a secure city with its own army ready to join yours in an assault on the castle. Tolliver had plans of sending poisoned food and supplies there, but we’ve stopped it. If we move fast, we can strike before he can recoup and cause more damage.”