Least Said (9 page)

I
made
coffee
and
filled
beakers
with
juice
and
plates
with
homemade
biscuits
as
the
bigger
children
rushed
off
to
Will’s
playroom,
to
return
time
and
again
with
favourites
from
his
shelves
and
toy
boxes,
held
out
for
us
to
admire.
I
loved
how
Will
brought
suitable
things
for
the
baby
to
play
with
as
well,
and
was
so
proud
of
how
gentle
he
was
with
her.

Lucy
also
noticed.
‘He’s
so
sweet,’
she
said.
‘Have
you
thought
about
having
more
children?
William
would
be
a
fantastic
big
brother.’

‘We’re
working
on
it,’
Jon
spoke
suddenly
from
the
doorway
and
we
turned
to
find
him
smiling,
unperturbed
by
Jade’s
comments.
Like
me,
he
was
more
than
happy
with
the
child
we
had
–
anything
else
for
us
would
be
a
bonus
as
far
as
we
were
concerned.

None
of
us
had
heard
Jon
come
in
but,
once
the
children
heard
his
voice,
they
came
hurtling
into
the
kitchen
and
were
soon
hanging
from
Jon’s
arms,
climbing
up
his
legs
and
begging
him
to
play
with
them.

‘You
couldn’t
have
timed
it
better,’
I
laughed.
‘You
can
take
over
while
Jade
and
Lucy
view
the
cake
in
peace.’

‘You
did
say
you
wanted
a
Mr
Tumble
themed
wedding
cake,
didn’t
you?’
Jon
said
straight-faced.
‘You
know,
to
keep
the
children
happy?’

Lucy’s
expression
was
a
complete
picture
as
she
stared
at
him,
clearly
not
sure
whether to
take
him
seriously
or
not.

‘Don’t
listen
to
him,’
I
advised
with
a
grin,
‘he’s
just
winding
you
up.
Come
on,
let’s
leave
him
to
it.’

Once
in
my
work
room,
with
the
door
safely
shut,
I
led
the
way
across
the
room
and
unveiled
the
cake
–
all
four
tiers
of
it.

There
was
a
stunned
silence,
and
it
went
on
for
so
long
that
I
became
quite
concerned
and
prompted,
‘For
goodness
sake
say
something.
What
do
you
think?
Is
it
all
right?’

‘All
right,’
Lucy
whispered,
‘all
right?’
The
silence
lengthened
again
and
anticipating
a
negative
comment
I
found
myself
trying
to
work
out
how
long
it
would
take
me
to
make
another
one
from
scratch.

Then
Lucy
shrieked,
‘It’s
amazing.
I
absolutely
love
it,’
and
grabbing
hold
of
me
she
spun
me
round
and
round
in
a
mad
impromptu
dance
and,
very
quickly,
Jade
joined
in.

‘How
do
you
do
it?’
Jade
sounded
quite
stunned.
‘It’s
so
delicate,
so
understated
and
so
–
so
elegant.’

‘It’s
everything
I
wanted
and
so
much
more.’
A
tear
trickled
down
Lucy’s
cheek.
‘I
don’t
know
how
I
can
ever
thank
you.’

*

‘So,
I
take
it
she
was
pleased
with
the
wedding
cake,
then?’
Jon
said,
as
we
enjoyed
our
meal
later
after
everyone
had
left.

‘I
thought
you
had
to
be
married
already
to
have
a
baby,’
William
suddenly
piped
up,
as
if
he
had
been
giving
the
matter
a
great
deal
of
thought,
‘and
Lucy
and
Roland
have
had
two.’

‘No,’
I
tried
to
explain
gently
and
simply,
taking
into
account
the
fact
that
he
was
only
six
years
old,
‘you
don’t
have
to
be
married,
you
just
have
to
love
one
another.’

‘But
you
and
Daddy
are
married
and
you
love
each
other,
but
you’ve
only
got
me.’

I
gave
Jon
an
over-to-you
kind
of
look
and
he
picked
up
the
baton
and
ran
with
it.
‘That’s
because
we
weren’t
sure
we
would
ever
get
another
little
boy
as
perfect
as
you.’

I
just
melted
at
his
words
and
I
swear
that
at
that
moment
I
fell
in
love
with
Jon
all
over
again.

‘Well,
have
a
little
girl
then,’
was
Will’s
common
sense
response,
and
we
laughed
and
said
that
maybe
we
would
do
just
that,
one
day.

As
I
lay
in
Jon’s
arms
that
night
I
was
quite
sure
that
life
itself
couldn’t
be
more
perfect
–
and
then
I
saw
him
again.

Chapter 3

I
could
have
been
wrong
–
but
I
knew
by
the
sudden
dread
I
felt
in
the
pit
of
my
stomach
that
I
wasn’t.
It
was
him.
The
rugby
player
I
had
tried
so
hard
to
forget
–
and
pretty
much
succeeded
for
the
past
seven
years
–
was
even
closer
to
home
than
before.
This
was
Bournemouth
town
centre,
and
not
the
much
bigger
city
of
Southampton
where
I
had
seen
him
the
first
time.

I
took
a
mad
dash
into
the
nearest
department
store
and
stood
taking
a
few
very
deep
breathes
to
get
the
panic
attack
that
was
threatening
under
control,
and
then
I
left
quickly
through
another
exit,
raced
back
to
the
car
park,
and
drove
straight
home.

It
didn’t
matter
that
I
hadn’t
purchased
a
thing,
or
that
I
had
nothing
to
wear
for
a
wedding
that
was
fast
approaching,
all
that
mattered
was
that
I
had
escaped
without
him
seeing
me.

Seven
years,
seven
whole
years
without
sight
or
sound
of
the
man,
seven
years
of
being
certain
that
my
shameful
secret
was
safe
and
there
would
be
no
repercussions,
and
then
up
he
pops
–
on
two
separate
occasions
now
-
the
man
who
had
the
power
and
the
knowledge
to
destroy
my
family.

I
felt
sick
and
ill,
but
knew
I
had
to
get
a
grip
and
try
to
get
what
had
just
happened
into
perspective.
I
couldn’t
–
I
just
couldn’t
–
get
on
the
phone
to
Tina
again
knowing
how
busy
she
was.
So
I
tried,
instead,
to
imagine
what
she
would
say.

She
would
say
that
it
was
a
complete
coincidence
he
should
appear
in
front
of
me
-
twice
-
in
a
very
short
time, when
there
hadn’t
been
a
single
sighting
of
him
in
seven
years.
I
had
to
agree
that
it
very
probably
was.
Tina
would
then
ask
me
the
question
-
was
I
really
certain,
completely
certain
-
that
it
was
the
same
man
I
had
seen
on
both
occasions?

Well,
I
gave
the
matter
some
serious
thought
and
reminded
myself
that
on
this
second
occasion
I
hadn’t
actually
come
up
face
to
face
with
him.
It
was
more
of
a
caught-sight-of
moment,
if
I
was
being
honest
with
myself.
I
had
taken
in
the
height
of
the
man,
the
short
dark
hair
and
a
glimpse
of
chiselled
features
that
seemed
familiar,
and
totally
freaked
out.
And
what
was
it
about
seeing
him
–
if
it
was
him
–
that
had
upset
me
so
much?

Did
I
really
believe
that
he
was
out
there
searching
for
me
?
Tina
would
look
at
me
quizzically
with
her
head
on
one
side.
‘Really?’
she
would
ask.

She
would
then
remind
me
that
it
didn’t
actually
seem
very
probable
he
would
have
waited
seven
whole
years
and
then
suddenly
woken
up
one
morning,
wondered
what
had
become
of
me,
and
set
off
to
find
out.

She
was
right,
of
course
-
the
idea
was
so
highly
unlikely
that
I
wondered
why
I
had
been
taking
it
all
so
seriously.
I
had
no
doubt
at
all
that
I
would
have
been
just
one
of
many
such
interludes
in
his
hedonistic
life,
and
I
would
be
very
surprised
if
he
remembered
even
a
single
one
of
us.

But
then
I
recalled
that
he
had
actually
asked
me,
‘Hey,
don’t
I
know
you
from
somewhere?’

In
all
probability
he
hadn’t
given
me
a
thought
in
all
these
years,
but
now
seeing
me
again
had
reminded
him
of
my
existence,
and
maybe
sparked
an
interest
that
hadn’t
been
there
before,
even
a
desire
to
pick
up
where
we
had
left
off.
I
shuddered
at
the
thought.

Most
worrying
of
all
was
the
fact
that
William
had
been
with
me.
What
if
seeing
my
son
had
allowed
him
to
put
two
and
two
together
and
come
up
with
a
very
accurate
four?
I
shivered
and
looked
longingly
at
the
phone.

I
could
speed
dial
Tina
and
be
speaking
to
her
in
seconds,
knowing
she
would
have
no
problem
with
that.
In
fact,
I
reminded
myself,
she
would
have
a
problem
with
me
if
I
didn’t
ring
her
over
something
as
important
as
this.