Least Said (59 page)

It
was
what
I
had
already
decided
to
do
some
time
ago;
had,
in
fact,
been
trying
unsuccessfully
to
discover
his
whereabouts
before
he
turned
up
practically
on
my
doorstep,
and
this
was
what
I
told
Tina.
At
least
it
was
something
I
could
be
doing,
rather
than
just
fretting
and
worrying, while
I
waited
for
Jon
to
consider
what
his
next
move
might
be.

‘Do
you
want
me
to
come
down?’
Tina
offered.
‘We
could
meet
the
guy
together
–
there
is
safety
in
numbers,
after
all
–
or
I
could
at
least
try
and
speak
to
Jon
and
take
the
blame
for
your
decision
not
to
tell
him.
I
hold
my
hands
up
to
trying
to
influence
you
when
I
should
have
stayed
right
out
of
it
and
I’m
more
than
willing
to
admit
to
that.’

‘No,
and
no,’
I
said
resolutely,
‘there
is
no
one
else
to
blame
for
the
mess
I’m
in
but
me.
I
had
the
affair
and
it
was
with
my
eyes
wide
open,
I
made
the
decision
not
to
tell
Jon
the
truth
when
I
realised
I
was
pregnant,
and
now
I
must
face
the
consequences.’

‘So,
what
will
you
do?’
she
asked
anxiously.

‘Confront
him,
ask
him
what
he
means
to
do
–
at
least
I
know
where
he
is
now.’
I
spoke
firmly,
and
was
pleased
there
was
no
tremor
in
my
voice.
I
definitely
sounded
far
more
confident
than
I
felt.

I
worked
until
just
after
lunch
and
then
leaving
everything
in
my
work-room
exactly
where
it
was,
I
gave
my
appearance
a
cursory
glance
in
the
hall
mirror,
decided
I
would
do,
and
set
off.
I
walked
because
I
was
shaking
so
much
that
I
didn’t
trust
myself
with
the
car,
and
my
nerves
hadn’t
settled
at
all
by
the
time
the
school
came
into
view.

It
wasn’t
until
I
got
to
the
gate
–
the
locked
gate
–
that
I
realised
I
hadn’t
thought
this
through
very
carefully.
Gone
were
the
days
when
you
could
walk
into
any
school
without
a
prior
arrangement
being
made,
the
tragedy
at
Dunblane
had
seen
to
that,
and
that,
of
course,
was
exactly
as
it
should
be.
I
stood
there,
at
a
complete
loss
as
to
what
my
next
step
was
going
to
be.

Then
I
saw
him,
off
to
the
side
of
the
playground,
working
with
a
group
of
young
children.
He
couldn’t
be
mistaken,
this
man
called
Gareth,
because
he
was
so
easily
recognisable
from
his
great
height
and
athlete’s
build
and,
in
a
rush
of
grim
determination,
I
made
my
way
towards
him.
Only
the
sturdy
railings
stood
between
us.

He
suddenly
caught
sight
of
me
and,
after
saying
something
to
the
children,
he
made
his
way
in
my
direction.
At
the
same
time,
and
to
my
complete
and
utter
horror,
a
small
figure
detached
himself
from
the
group,
and
came
barrelling
towards
me,
too.

‘Mummy,’
Will
yelled
joyfully
and
then
was
stopped
in
his
tracks
by
a
deep
voice
ordering,
‘Stop
right there
,
young
man.’

I’d
never
seen
William
show
such
instant
obedience,
as
he
practically
screeched
to
a
halt.
I
could
see
he
was
torn,
looking
from
me
to
his
school
master
in
utter
confusion.

‘You
are
in
school,
William,
and
in
the
middle
of
a
lesson.
Now,
go
and
join
your
class-mates
while
I
deal
with
this.’

All
of
the
children,
including
Will,
stood
in
a
silent
huddle
and
watched
as
the
stern
figure
marched
across
the
playground
towards
me.
He
looked
so
grim
that
my
nerves
almost
failed
me
and
I
had
to
force
myself
not
to
mouth
some
kind
of
excuse
and
rush
off.

It
had
all
gone
wrong
in
ways
I
hadn’t
been
expecting.
The
gate
being
locked
shouldn’t
have
come
as
a
surprise,
but
it
had,
and
finding
William
in
the
middle
of
a
lesson
with
the
very
man
I
was
seeking
had
been
a
complication
I
hadn’t
anticipated,
and
could
well
have
done
without.

‘Mrs
Hammond,
I
presume,’
Gareth
Montgomery
greeted
me.
‘To
what
do
I
owe
this
pleasure?’