Learning the Ropes (31 page)

Alicia wanted to let her anger spill over but doing that would release the tears, the ache building in her heart at his betrayal, but she couldn’t allow herself to do that. Not here. It was better to pretend he didn’t hurt her, that she didn’t care, and let the tears fall later, while she was alone. She bent down and lifted the gelding’s hoof against her thigh.

“I have two horses to warm up and a go-round to win today. You can tell Bimbo Barbie and her twin, they are more than welcome to have you join them again tonight.”

She set Beast’s foot down and looked up in time to see his face cloud over. “I’m not staying in there tonight. I’m staying in
my
trailer. That’s what got us into this mess.”

“No, your lying got us into this mess. The fact that you’re a cheating bastard got us into this. My being stupid enough to trust you got us into this.” She shrugged as if she couldn’t care less. “If you won’t go, then I’ll find another place to stay tonight. I’m sure I can find one of the other barrel racers to room with for the weekend.” She bent and took the hoof in her hand.

“Damn it, Ali.” Chris ran a hand through his hair, pain shooting through his skull as his fingers hit his nape, and he took a deep breath. “Why won’t you just believe me?”

She shook her head. “Why would I? You’ve done nothing but play games with me since the first time you introduced me to David.” She finished cleaning Beast’s feet and checked the cinch before slipping his bridle over his head. “You may not know what you want in life but some of us do. Right now, that means I have to win this go-round and the average and I’m not going to let you or that floozy distract me from doing it.”

She stepped into the stirrup and swung her leg over. “By the way, the next time you want to invite someone into the business, we should probably agree on it before you make the offer. Unless you plan on buying me out, no one else is coming into this deal.” She started to walk Beast toward the practice arena and looked back at him over her shoulder. “You’re only here short term. I
am
buying you out before the end of next year and that will be the end of this partnership.”

A
LICIA ALREADY WALKED
and groomed Boogie after another amazing run. He was on a hot streak and she prayed it would hold out for another couple of days to win her the average purse as well as the go-round money. Two go-rounds down with two left to go. So far, the horses and the barrel runs weren’t her problem. Her problem was the man getting ready to head into the box right now.

She sat in the stands, watching him as they made their run, awed by the way he and David worked together as a team. It was incredible to watch how they seemed to speak without words, almost as if they instinctively knew what the other was going to do. How was it possible for them to be so in sync when they weren’t even speaking right now? How did they get so out of sync in the first place?

She felt guilt and shame wash over her like a spring shower. If she was honest with herself, she was a big part of the problem. She should have told Chris a long time ago how she felt, or explained to David from the beginning that her heart belonged to someone else. How could she have let this go this far, cause this much turmoil?

Chris spun to face David as they pulled the rope taut and the flag dropped, signaling the timer to stop. Their run was incredible, close to setting another arena record. It was great for the business and she’d already had several people come talk to her about setting up training and lessons but the way things were going, she wasn’t sure they would even have a business by the time they got back to California.

“Oh, my goodness, he was
amazing
last night.”

Ali cringed when she heard the voice coming from the end of the stands. She glanced over to see Delilah and several of her friends shooting daggers her way but was bound to ignore them. She wasn’t about to let the witch know how much it hurt to think of Chris with her last night. If only she hadn’t tried to force him to apologize to David and had let him come into the trailer.

If not Delilah, it would’ve been someone else.
The cynical voice scratched at her self-confidence.
Of all the women he could choose, you thought you were the one he’d pick? The poor little wannabe from the trailer?

Her doubts crowded out the trust she’d once had in Chris. She wasn’t sure what to believe anymore. She’d trusted Chris with more than just her body and his betrayal had shredded her heart, leaving the bleeding remains in tatters. She didn’t have a clue how to begin trying to put it back together. It wasn’t just that he’d lied about loving her. He slept with the one woman who had gone out of her way to hurt Alicia. And the fact that he’d seen the way Delilah treated her made it seem like a slap in the face. Just another reminder that neither thought she was worthy of their respect.

“And those hands,” Delilah spoke in a loud whisper, determined to making sure Alicia heard every sordid detail of her escapade. “Trust me, he knows how to use those. Now I see why he’s in the top ten because those hands are magic.”

Tears began to well in her eyes. She had to get away before they saw. The last thing she wanted was for Delilah to see her comments hit their mark. Alicia stood up and brushed past the group. “Excuse me.”

“Oh, and there is nothing sexier than a guy with tattoos. He has this one . . . Oh, hello Alicia.” Delilah acted surprised to see her but grabbed her wrist, demanding her attention. “There’s nothing like a man in bed who knows what he’s doing, is there?”

Alicia could see the hatred in Delilah’s eyes, the intent to inflict as much pain as possible. She was like a lioness stalking prey and was watching for any weakness in her victim. Alicia wasn’t about to give her the satisfaction.

“You ought to know, you’ve had enough of them there.” She jerked her wrist away and Delilah laughed.

“Aw, don’t be such a bad loser. You’ve had enough practice coming second to me that you should be used to it by now. Did you really think he’d pick you over someone like me?” She adjusted her shirt to show off her ample, medically enhanced cleavage. She looked Alicia up and down. “I mean, come on. What man in his right mind would pick you . . .” She waved her hand at Alicia dramatically before turning it toward herself and snickered. “Over this? I certainly don’t know any.”

“Well, congratulations, Delilah. I hope the two of you are very happy together. Maybe he can help you celebrate your twelfth place run today.” She turned to leave the group of catty women on the stands.

“Just because you won today doesn’t mean you’re anything special.”

“No,” Alicia called, praying luck would be kind and remain on her side in spite of what she was about to say. “But yesterday’s win and last weekend’s win does. Maybe you should concentrate more on riding your horse than you do riding cowboys.”

She heard the gasp of surprise from several of Delilah’s friends and couldn’t help squaring her shoulders with satisfaction. She was tired of being bullied and she wasn’t going to let Delilah or her friends do it anymore. She was done being nice, letting their comments roll off her back, pretending she didn’t care, trying to prove her worth so they would stop. No matter how hard she tried, it would never be enough for Delilah to accept her.

She was sick of rolling over and letting people take advantage of her. That included the man tying his horse to their trailer. She stormed over, ready to make sure he knew she’d had her fill of being abused.

“How could you do that to me?” The anger she’d been so determined to hide from him earlier erupted with full force. “How could you want to be with someone like me and someone like her?”

“Ali, I didn’t—”

She didn’t give him a chance to say anything. She didn’t want to hear any more words, because that’s all they were to him. Words, excuses, justifications, and apologies. It was a merry-go-round of tolerance and it was breaking her down. She was losing herself in weakness and refused to give into it any longer.

“I don’t want to hear anything, Chris. I’ve heard enough and it means nothing anymore because I can’t trust you.”

She saw his jaw clench and knew he was barely restraining his own temper. “You’ve always been able to trust me, Ali. I promised not to hurt you and—”

“And yet you did.” She could see the defeat in his eyes. She wanted him to fight back, to prove he hadn’t slept with Delilah, to make her believe she was the only woman he wanted. But he said nothing and that said it all. “You don’t love me, Chris. You don’t love anyone but yourself. I don’t even think you know how.”

She moved toward the trailer door. “I’m getting my things and staying somewhere else. Anywhere else.”

Chris followed her inside, shutting the door behind him. “What can I say, Ali? Nothing is going to change your mind since you won’t believe the truth.”

She looked back at him as she threw her clothes into her duffel bag. “I saw you leaving her trailer, with no shirt on, before six-thirty in the morning. What other reason could you possibly come up with?”

Chris reached for her hand and dragged her against him. Her softness cradled him as he buried his hands into her hair and his mouth covered hers, cutting off any protest she might offer. His tongue swept into her mouth, stealing her breath and her resistance. She wanted to hate him, fight him, push him away, but her heart couldn’t deny this last kiss, one last touch.

Her hands slipped around the back of his neck, drawing him closer, begging for more of him. If she couldn’t have his heart, she would take what he was willing to give and hate herself for her weakness later. Her fingers clutched at him, desperate to touch him and be touched by him. He slid a hand to her low back and pressed her against him, his fingers sliding up the back of her shirt and releasing the clasp of her bra. Her shirt disappeared over her head, followed by his, and his hands were at the waistband of her pants.

Clothing was shed quickly while his lips seemed to be everywhere at once. She was on fire with need, his mouth and hands burning a path over her flesh until she felt like she was going to explode. Chris laid her on the bed. The weight of his body over her, his skin scorching every inch of her, was sensual, making her tremble in anticipation.

With him poised at the core of her desire, inching himself forward, the love she felt for him, the need, the aching torment—all of it outweighed the pain he caused and she couldn’t turn him away. She couldn’t stop herself from loving him any more than she could stop the sun from rising. If she was going to give in to this weakness, she was going to do it on her terms.

Alicia rolled so that she was straddling Chris, her hands against his chest, holding him down. “Say it,” she whispered.

Chris circled his hands at her waist and stared up at her. “You said it didn’t matter.”

She bent and kissed him, taking his lower lip between her teeth. “I lied,” she whispered against his mouth. “Tell me, even if you don’t mean it.” She slid down the length of him slowly, wrapping him with the sheath of her heat, and he groaned against her mouth.

It was torture, sweet and painful, but she stilled. “Chris?”

He cupped his hands around her face, forcing her to look into his smoldering blue eyes. “I love you, Ali. I promise you can trust me. This is the real thing.” He pressed himself farther into her, sending her over the edge, no longer able to hold back as she dropped her head backward, crying out his name.

It was primal, raw desire, needy, demanding an answering passion from him. Her nails dug into his sides as his hands cupped her breasts, driving into her as she held on. His thumbs stroked over the tight buds and her body quaked against him, clutching him as she rode the waves of ecstasy. Unable to wait for his release, she arched her back, her body exploding into thousands of points of light.

It was the only encouragement he needed and he thrust into her. Alicia realized he’d been holding back his own release, waiting for her, and felt herself cresting the wave again as he took her breast into his mouth, drawing every ounce of passion from her. She shook against him, unable to control her body’s response to him, feeling her body contract around him. He nibbled and sucked at the flesh as she trembled against him.

Chris swirled his tongue around the nipple and she fell over the edge, her body convulsing as she felt herself lose control. He groaned against her and gave himself over to his release. Alicia knew she’d regret this moment soon enough but for right now, she was going to savor the moment of ignorant bliss. She would allow herself this one respite to pretend they were happy and that they could move forward. Even if it was only for tonight.

Chapter Twenty-Two

C
HRIS WOKE UP
the next morning and reached his arms out to circle the soft woman in the small bed with him but his hands found nothing but cold sheets. He opened his eyes but knew exactly what he’d find. The trailer had no trace of Alicia left other than her scent left clinging to his skin and the pillow.

“Damn it.” He rolled onto his back and covered his eyes with his arm. He’d prayed after last night, she believed him.

He swung his legs over the edge of the bed. She couldn’t have gotten far. He knew she wouldn’t leave this close to winning the overall average purse. He still had twenty-four hours to convince her. Pulling on his jeans and slipping his arms into a t-shirt, he headed out to feed the horses, only to find his horses already munching on alfalfa and her animals nowhere in sight. That wasn’t a good sign.

He opened the tack compartment and saw only his tack and dread balled in his stomach. Maybe this wasn’t going to be as easy as he thought. She wasn’t just planning on staying somewhere else tonight. It looked like she was trying to avoid him completely.

“What’s wrong, cowboy? You look like you just lost your best friend.”

Chris turned and saw the last woman he ever wanted to set eyes on again. “You’re going to clear up this mess right now.” He reached for her arm but she jerked it away from his fingers.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She clutched at her arm as if afraid of him. “I can’t help it if you didn’t tell your girlfriend about us.” She deliberately raised her voice, looking around for an audience.