Learning (14 page)

“You still care about her.” Again it wasn’t a question. But her tone politely asked for more details.

“Yes. Always.” Cody understood why this mattered. If he wasn’t here out of sympathy, and if he enjoyed being with her … then what about his past might stop her from letting herself have feelings for him? She had a right to know. “Things changed between us. At the end of last year.” He explained how he and Bailey had allowed their friendship to turn into a dating relationship, but only for a short while. “My mom went back to prison, and Bailey was busy making a movie with Brandon Paul.”

Cheyenne’s mouth opened, and she sucked in a quiet breath. “That’s where I’ve heard her name. She’s in
Unlocked.
I’ve seen the trailer a hundred times on TV.”

“Yes.” Cody couldn’t help but feel proud of her. “That’s her. The world doesn’t know it, but she and Brandon are dating now.” He faced forward again and rested his forearms on the table. “It’s been over between us for many months.”

“Mmhmm.” She nodded, but her eyes told him she wasn’t quite convinced … that the situation with Bailey Flanigan was a red flag on the panel of her heart, and after tonight she would have a reason to take things slowly.

That was fine with Cody. He didn’t want to move quickly, anyway. Cheyenne was still building up her strength. She didn’t need a serious relationship to complicate her life right now. “Well … we know each other a lot better now.” He laughed, and though it sounded a little nervous it broke the heaviness between them.

By the time they walked back out to the truck they were both laughing about something from the movie. He put his arm around her shoulders again, and as he folded up her walker and helped her into his passenger seat he recognized the obvious: He felt more than friendship for her. “Hey … I have an idea.” He
turned the key in the ignition. “How about we take a drive to Lyle? The uniforms were delivered, and Ms. Baker asked me to count them in.” He liked the idea … the two of them alone in the quiet emptiness of the high school. More time to talk. “Are you too tired?”

“Not at all.” She laughed. “Just don’t ask me to try anything on. I’d disappear in a football uniform.”

His laughter mixed with hers. “Don’t worry … just the helmets and face masks. That’s the only part you’ll have to try on.”

On the drive out, they listened to Tim McGraw and Tyrone Wells and talked about her nursing program. The teachers were going to work with her, so she could make up most of last semester’s units online over the next few months. Once they reached the school, he let them in with his keys. No one was there, but still they talked in whispers as they walked the short distance from the back door of the athletic complex to the equipment room. Cody found a chair for her and he handed her a clipboard. “I’ll count, and you write down the numbers.” He grinned at her. “Sound good?”

“Better than trying on helmets.” She grimaced just a bit as she situated herself.

“You’re hurting.” He would’ve done anything to make her feel better. “Want a different chair?”

“No.” Her expression eased. “It’s not as bad as it used to be.”

Cody started with the jerseys. He was halfway through the count when he heard footsteps in the hallway outside. He stopped and saw that Cheyenne heard the sound too.

At nearly eleven on a Friday night the janitor couldn’t be here. He held his finger to his lip, urging her to be quiet. Was it kids maybe? Someone about to vandalize the school? He moved quietly to the door, and as he opened it he heard the unmistakable sound of someone running down the other hallway, the one that led to the gym.

The flashes came at him with lightning speed, like a series of rapid-fire gunshots. Bright bursts of images … him and Art running for cover across a pock-holed desert floor. “Run!” someone screamed. “Get low!” Cody blinked, fighting the pictures in his head, resisting the urge to obey the long ago commands. Another image and another. Flashes snapping like broken tree limbs in the forest of his complicated mind.

And beside him — right beside him — one of his buddies was hit in the face. His whole face gone in an instant as he crumpled to the ground. Dust and blood and gunfire. More gunfire. “Get down.”

“What?” Cheyenne gave him the strangest look, her voice quiet and panicked. She glanced toward the sound of the running feet and back at him. “Get down?”

“No.” Cody’s voice was an intense whisper, a command to himself. “Not that. Sorry.”
Help me, God … Cheyenne needs me. Someone’s here … I have to think clearly. Please, Father … please …

In the time it took him to breathe out, the images were gone. Sweat gathered across his forehead and the back of his neck and he shook like he hadn’t in weeks. Cheyenne slid to the edge of her seat, clearly concerned. “Cody … what is it? Flashbacks?”

He nodded, hating himself for this weakness. Iraq was behind him. He had no reason to get lost in yesterday at the simple sound of running feet. He wiped his forehead and sucked back a few quick breaths. He wasn’t armed … had no way to protect himself. But if he had to fight someone he wasn’t worried. Cody could handle the situation. He was trained in hand-to-hand combat, and more than once at war he’d had to prove himself. He was one of his division’s best fighters. “Stay here,” he whispered. “I’ll call you if I get in trouble.”

The sound of the footsteps faded, getting farther away. He set off down the hallway running, and at the end of the hall he turned right. Ahead of him in the distance he could see the shadowy
figure of someone trying to leave the building. A guy … tall … dressed in dark clothes. Whoever it was, he didn’t have legal access to the building. And the fact that he was trying to escape told Cody he’d probably done something wrong.

Speed wasn’t a problem for Cody — even since his injury. He had competed in marathons and triathlons since coming home from Iraq, and he still did speed training. Times like this he was grateful. He intensified his run, pushing through the school doors and across the back courtyard between the administration building and the athletic complex. “Hey … stop!”

He ran faster … holding the flashbacks at bay … focusing on the figure in front of him. Faster and faster but just before he might’ve made a dive at the trespasser, the guy turned around, gasping for breath, his eyes wide, terrified.

Cody stopped short, his breathing hard and fast. “DeMetri?”

“Coach, …” DeMetri Smith sank down in a crouched position, too shaky to stand. “You scared me to death.”

“Yeah.” Cody doubled at the waist and exhaled hard a few times. “Me too.” He straightened and looked hard at the kid. “Why are you here?” Cody felt his heartbeat finding normal again. “You should be at home in bed … we have practice tomorrow.”

DeMetri rose to his feet. “I … I don’t have anywhere to stay.” The kid didn’t want to cry, that much was evident. He clenched his jaw, fighting his emotion. “My mom got arrested … they evicted me.”

Cody wanted to drop to the ground and cry right beside his player. Another kid? Another mother like his and Cheyenne’s? How many other teenagers tonight weren’t sure where to sleep? How many parents were in prison while their high school sons or daughters tried to dodge the embarrassment and figure out a way on their own? He took a few slow steps to DeMetri. “Smitty, …” He put his hand on the player’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

DeMetri was still breathing hard. With Cody’s understanding, he lost the battle with his tears. “It’s okay. The school’s fine.”

Dawning hit Cody again. “You’ve been staying here … sleeping here?”

“Yeah,” he stuck his chin out, like the situation was fine, as if he didn’t want any sympathy from Cody or anyone else. “It’s okay. I have some stuff in a closet.”

“Where?” His heart broke for his player. “Where do you stay?”

“The wrestling room.” He blinked, and for a few seconds he looked more like a kid than the adult he was being forced to become. “It’s fine, Coach. Really.”

“It’s not fine.” He felt a gust of anger toward DeMetri’s mom, and all those who didn’t fight harder to be parents. “You’re coming home with me.”

DeMetri blinked. “With you, Coach?”

“Yes.” Cody’s roommate was gone this weekend. Besides, they had an office, a third bedroom that neither of them really used. He could work out the details later. DeMetri wasn’t going to spend another night living in the Lyle wrestling room. His tone softened. “Come on. Let’s get you home.”

He finished counting the uniforms, and he and Cheyenne and DeMetri drove home. They dropped Chey off first, and he got out of his pickup only long enough to help her up the stairs and inside. From there she assured him she had it, and even before he could tell her goodbye, Tara appeared in her bathrobe. “You two okay out here?”

“Yes.” Cheyenne gave Cody a knowing smile. He hadn’t said much since he’d brought DeMetri back with him to the equipment room. He didn’t need to. Everything that might be said on the subject had already been said over coffee earlier that night. If anyone would understand Cody taking DeMetri home with him tonight, she would. It was one more thing they would share, one
more bond between them. Chey looked at Tara. “We were just saying goodnight.”

“Well, then.” Tara waved her hand in the air and spun back toward her bedroom. “Don’t let me get in the way!”

Cody and Cheyenne laughed quietly, and he appreciated the understanding in her eyes. He hugged her, and let his face linger near hers. “I had fun tonight.”

“Me too.”

“Goodnight, Chey.” He hugged her once more, gingerly because he didn’t want to hurt her. Not now or ever.

“Goodnight.” She looked back at the truck. “Go take care of that boy.”

“I will.”

Cody waved goodbye once more. Then he headed out to his truck, to a high school boy whose skin color might be different, but who in this moment looked a whole lot like himself at that age. Frightened and determined, trying to find a way through life on his own. And as he climbed in the truck, he committed to God to do whatever it took to help DeMetri, to be there for the young man.

The way Jim Flanigan had been there for him.

J
ENNY SAT ON THE FRONT PORCH AND LISTENED TO HER OLDEST
son Connor sing his heart out. He was trying out for
American Idol
at the end of the summer … something he’d decided just a few weeks ago. The show was making a stop in Indianapolis, and though ten thousand people were bound to show up for the audition, Connor wanted his chance.

“God only opens doors we knock on,” he had told her when he made up his mind. “I have to try.”

She loved that about her kids, that they were willing to go after their dreams. It was a bittersweet joy, because in time their dreams were bound to take them to vastly different places. Bailey already in New York, and now Connor. If he gravitated toward a singing career he would live in Nashville eventually, or maybe Los Angeles. Certainly not here in Bloomington. She smiled to herself.
American Idol
was a long shot, no matter how great he sounded singing at their family’s piano.

But the possibility that Connor’s dreams would take him far away was very real.

She had a five-page document in her hand, her latest article for
Christian Family
magazine. This was her newest writing position, and she liked it better than the other magazines she’d worked for. This one allowed her to talk about the things most dear to her, the challenges of adoption, the task of raising kids who would develop a strong faith of their own, the importance of laughter around the dinner table. Today’s article was on another
topic close to Jenny’s heart: the decision to have an open door to the people God brought into their lives.

Jenny smiled, remembering the many kids who viewed the Flanigans as their second family. None more so than Cody Coleman. She focused on the first paragraph of the article and began to read. But she wasn’t halfway down the page when she heard a car coming down the hill. She looked up and squinted. It was the last day of June, and the heat was getting intense, the humidity causing a buildup of clouds along the horizon. The glare of the sun made it hard to see, but as the pickup grew closer, as it slowed and turned into their driveway, she had no doubt whose it was.

“Cody Coleman,” she whispered out loud. How long had it been? She watched him park, and as he climbed out of the truck and walked closer, Jenny felt her heart hurt at the way she’d missed him, the way they’d all missed him.

He saw her, clearly. His hands in his pockets, he made his way up the porch steps and over to her before he said a single word. She stood to meet him, and they came together in the sort of hug usually reserved strictly for family. A hug that held on and gave absolute unconditional certainty that love once here, was still here now.

She stepped back and they sat down on the porch swing.

“Hi.” He smiled as he spoke for the first time. With the Flanigans, he already knew he didn’t need words. “It’s been a long time.”

“Too long.” She set her document down beside her. “You look good.”

“I am.” He nodded, confident. His face looked older in a good way, more mature than before. “I’m coaching and teaching … at Lyle High … halfway to the Ohio border.”

“Yes.” Jenny smiled at the irony. Cody here beside her when she’d just finished an article about having an open door. “Ryan Taylor told us.”

“I thought he might.” He looked uncomfortable for a moment, like maybe he felt guilty for not calling. “I thought I’d come by and talk to Coach … see if he had any advice about summer camp. I’ve never run one before and … well, it’s coming up. I have a lot to learn.”

“He’ll be home soon.” She smiled, hoping to erase any awkwardness he might feel. Especially in light of the situation with him and Bailey. “He’d love to help you.”

“I figured.” Cody relaxed. “I miss him … I miss all of you.” His eyes held an aching that made Jenny feel good. Like the time he’d spent with their family mattered to him. Even if he hadn’t been in touch lately.

“I heard about the car accident … your friend.” She wanted him to know he could talk about his life. How he had moved on. “What’s her name?”

He hesitated, and for a moment he looked across the expanse of their front lawn, the sun on his face. “Cheyenne.” He turned back to Jenny. “She’s doing much better. We … we spend a lot of time together.” Again he looked slightly out of sorts. “I guess you know … I haven’t talked to Bailey since she left.” He turned slightly so he could see her better. “How’s she doing?”

“She loves the show.” Jenny had to be careful. Bailey wouldn’t want her saying too much. If Cody wanted to know about her life, he could text or call her. She’d told Jenny that a number of times. “She’s keeping busy.”

“Her and Brandon?” Cody almost winced, and there was no denying the fact that he didn’t really want to know the answer. “Are they … are they together?”

“I’m not sure they have a label.” Jenny studied him, how right it felt that he was back. “Brandon’s a part of her life.”

“Yes.” Cody set his jaw and nodded. “I’m glad she’s happy.” He stood and took a deep breath. “Well … are the boys out back?”

“They are.” Her heart hurt at the look in Cody’s eyes, the way
he so obviously still had feelings for Bailey. But there was nothing she could say to help the situation, no advice or wisdom that would be appropriate. The relationship between Cody and Bailey was something only God and the two of them could figure out. “Come on.” She grabbed her document and together they walked inside. “They’ll be thrilled to see you.”

Connor was first to notice him. He got up from the piano and gave Cody the sort of hug usually reserved for the closest teammates. “It’s been too long …”

“I know.” He nodded toward the piano. “Listen to you, man, … you sound amazing. You going out for
American Idol
this year, or what?”

Connor laughed. “Actually … yeah. This summer.”

“No way!” Cody gave Connor an enthusiastic pat on his shoulder. “That’s awesome, bro, … you’ll blow ‘em away.”

Jenny watched from a few feet away. She loved this, how with Cody it felt like no time had passed. This was their reward for opening their home and hearts to Cody in the first place. He would always be a part of them — regardless of time passed.

“You gotta keep me posted.” Cody shook his head, his grin reaching easily to his eyes. “You’ll knock it out of the park. Seriously … you sing like that and we’ll be watching you on TV.”

They were halfway down the hall, Jenny tailing the guys and headed toward the kitchen when Ricky spotted Cody. “What?” He shouted the word and jumped up. Ricky seemed to grow taller every day, and now he lumbered up to them, all big feet and long legs. “I can’t believe you’re here!” He threw himself in Cody’s arms and the two hugged and slapped each other’s backs.

“What happened to you? You’re huge!” Cody stood back and studied Ricky. “Don’t tell me you’re thinking of passing me up.”

“He’s six-foot-two.” Connor laughed. “Crazy for a thirteen-year-old.”

“Yeah,” Ricky laughed, his expression proud of the fact. “You still have me beat by an inch, but not for long.”

Cody raised his brow. “Not if you’re this tall at thirteen.”

“Come on … Shawn and Justin are playing football out back.” Ricky ran ahead. “Wait till I tell them!”

Cody grinned at Jenny and Connor. “I guess I’m playing football.”

“Me too.” Connor ran for the stairs. “I’ll change and be right down.”

“Like old times.” Jenny hoped he could see in her smile how glad she was that he’d come. “It’s good to have you home, Cody.”

“Thanks.” He started toward the back door. “It’s good to be here.” With a quick step he jogged off to the backyard.

Jenny watched him go. Ricky gathered Justin, Shawn, and BJ, and like he’d never left, Cody organized them and threw the first pass to Ricky.

“And,” Ricky shouted, “he catches it for a first down!”

The other guys clapped, and Shawn began to run, his hand outstretched. “Hit me up, Ricky, … right here!”

Connor came running down the stairs dressed in shorts and a T-shirt and flew out the back door to join the others. Jenny couldn’t pull herself away. The scene was like being back in the past, as if she’d taken a ride in Devin Blake’s time machine — the one Ashley had told her about — to one of the happiest moments of her life: when Cody lived with them and growing up seemed like a lifetime away for all her boys. So much had changed, and now Connor was ready to take on his senior year, ready to head into the world and pursue his dreams. And the other boys were only getting taller and older, closer to the front door and the plans God had for them.

But for now, the boys out back reminded her of God’s goodness, His ability to give her gifts like this when she least expected them. There was a sound behind her, and she turned to see Jim
walk in through the garage door. “Hey,” he grinned at her. “Is that Cody’s truck outside?”

“It is.” She turned and watched the boys again. “Like he never left.”

Jim joined her and gave her a quick kiss as he looked at the game of catch going on outside. “He looks good.”

“He’s growing up.” Jenny leaned her head on his shoulder. “He wants to talk to you. About football.”

“Really?” He looked touched by the fact. “Sometimes enough weeks pass I wonder if he even remembers us.”

“Jim …” She raised her eyebrows at him, her voice softer than before. She tapped his chest a few times. “You know deep inside here that could never be true. Cody won’t ever forget us.”

He looked past her to the boys once more. “You’re right.” He smiled. “I’m glad he came by.”

Jenny set about making dinner — leftover chicken and rice. She’d made enough that she easily had plenty for Cody to join them, and once it was heated up she called out to them. She lingered at the doorway, enjoying once more the look of her boys laughing together with Cody, the way they slung their arms over each others’ shoulders and laughed while they headed inside with the football. She looked at Cody as the boys filed past. “Stay for dinner?”

He hesitated, but only for a few seconds. “You have enough?”

“Always enough for you.” Ricky put his arm around Cody’s neck and gave him a light punch in the arm. “Even if I caught more passes than you.”

“He was easy on you, bud, …” Justin grinned. “Don’t get a big head, now.”

The boys made their way to the back bathroom to wash up, and Cody spotted Jim in the other room reading the newspaper. Cody went to him and immediately Jim set his paper down and
hugged him, much the way Jenny had. Like Cody was their long lost son — which after this much time, was close to the truth.

They ate dinner then, laughing over stories from Clear Creek High. “We miss you on the field.” Connor took a forkful of rice and waited until he had swallowed it. “No one coaches us quarterbacks like you, Cody. Coach Taylor’s too busy with the rest of the team.”

“He’s a very good coach.” Cody looked from Connor to Jim. “I keep thinking how lucky I am to have played for you … and to have coached with Ryan Taylor. It’s amazing how much I learned.” He raised his fork in the air. “And how much I still have to learn.”

Jenny watched Jim to see if he might say anything about Ryan Taylor and the possible promotion he might be getting. But when Jim said nothing, Jenny kept quiet too. The Colts were looking to bring in a new coach. Ryan was a former NFL player, with state play-off success at the high school coaching level. He was definitely being considered for the position. Something even Ryan didn’t know.

Like always, the kids made short order of dinner, and the cleanup began with all the Flanigan boys working together. As they did, Jim and Cody headed to the game table in the family room. Jenny couldn’t hear everything they said after that, but Jim pulled out paper and pencils and for an hour the two of them talked intently — taking turns drawing up what must’ve been plays and drills, ways Cody’s summer camp could be productive and effective.

Jenny took a spot at the kitchen bar where she could keep them in view. How would Bailey feel about how easily Cody had fit back into their lives? If only for a day? Once he was gone Jenny planned to call her. She would be on stage still at this point, but later they could get on Skype … talk face to face.

As Jim and Cody finished their talk, as they laughed together and put their heads together, and dreamed about football side by
side, Jenny prayed for Cody. That God would continue to bring him back, and that Cody would work things out with Bailey. So that at the very least they might be friends. Because of all the things Jenny could imagine about the future, there was one thing she couldn’t think about.

The idea of never seeing Cody Coleman again.