Lead the Way (2 page)

She pretty much hired her on the spot.  Rosa’s job is to keep the large apartment clean, do her errands, grocery shop, and at times simply keep her company.  Over time, she and Rosa have grown closer and closer.  She has come to really rely on Rosa and wouldn’t be able to function properly in life without her.  Rosa has become like a second mother to her, a godsend.

Her thoughts are interrupted by the sound of a key in the door.  The alarm sounds.  She doesn’t panic.  It’s only Rosa, right on time, as usual.  She listens as Rosa punches in the code to deactivate the alarm and then resets it. 

“Hola.  Buenas dias,” Rosa calls out to her.

“Morning, Rosa.  How are you doing this morning?”

“I’m okay.  How did you sleep, Carino?”

“I slept okay,” she lies.  She had her usual nightmare, but she keeps it to herself.  There is no use worrying Rosa.  “I just made coffee, so it’s fresh.”

“Okay, you know that tomorrow is Valentines Day, right?”

“Whoopty doo, Rosa,” she says, rolling her eyes. 

Every year, she acts the same way.  She plays it off as if it’s just another day to her.  Her favorite saying is, “Shouldn’t Valentine’s Day be everyday?”  She tries to act tough, when inside it hurts.  When Valentine’s Day comes around, she plays it off as if seeing the advertisements doesn’t affect her.  The truth is, Valentine’s Day is a stark reminder that she is all alone.  The day reminds her of what she is missing out on, being confined to her apartment.

“Carino, when are you going to get help?  You need to get out of this apartment. All the life you are missing - it breaks my heart.  Don’t you want to have a husband… kids?”

“Rosa, I’m quite happy just the way things are.” 

She can’t bare to say out loud that she has never been lonelier in her entire life.  She knows that each day that she spends inside, more of her life is passing her by.  She tries not to dwell on it, but she knows that amazing opportunities to enjoy the life are going by at rapid speed.  Opportunities and time that she will never be able to get back.  She tries not to be too hard on herself.  She can’t help that she is sick.  She didn’t want or ask to be attacked and turned into an invalid.

“Eva, it’s not good for you to stay cooped up in this apartment.  You need to be out there, living your life.”

“Rosa, I know.”

When she was first attacked, she immediately started to see a psychiatrist.  Being able to talk to someone that understood what she had been through was very helpful.  When she first started to suffer from the symptoms of posttraumatic stress disorder, she was scared.  She didn’t know what was happening to her.  Having a psychiatrist to speak to was able to alleviate some of the fear she was experiencing.  There was a point in time where she looked forward to her twice a week appointments.

However, over time and the more that her problems seemed to be constant with no change visible, the more seeing a psychiatrist became pointless.  It became a waste of money and a waste of time.  There was nothing further that could be done for her.  She and her psychiatrist hit a brick wall.

Her psychiatrist insisted that she keep coming, but Eva just didn’t see the point.  It just wasn’t useful anymore.  She hates to admit it, but she’s come to accept her illness as a part of her, and has accepted that it’s never going away.  Being an Agoraphobic and having severe anxiety is woven through the fabric of her life.  It is a permanent part of who she is.  There is no amount of talking that can make it go away.  She deals with the symptoms, medicating them sometimes, and continues about her business.

She tries to stay positive, which is feat unto itself.  How do you stay positive when you’re abnormal?  How do you stay positive when you know that you’re missing out on the best times of your life?  How do you stay positive when the reality that you may end up being alone for the entirety of your life sinks in?  She’s not sure why she doesn’t jump off her balcony sometimes, but she doesn’t.  Somehow, she remains hopeful that something good is going to come out of her life

.  

Chapter 3

“Ryan Collins, get your stuff,” the guard calls down the range.

He’s been waiting for this moment for five years.  He’s served his sentence and paid his debt to society.  He’s being released back into world and plans to finish what he started five years ago.

Eva wasn’t supposed to live.  She was supposed to die there in that alleyway.  He was supposed to watch her take her final breaths.  He was supposed to see the light leave her eyes.  If that asshole hadn’t interrupted his plans, she would be dead and he wouldn’t have spent the past five years locked up, like a fucking animal.

He watched Eva in court when she had to testify.  He could see the fear in her eyes when she looked at him.  He could tell by her body language, he did damage.  He hurt her.  Knowing that gave him some satisfaction, as he sat in the courtroom, knowing that he was, without a doubt, going to be found guilty.  He knew he was going to be locked up.  How could he have thought anything different?  He was knocked unconscious and lying on the ground when the police showed up.  He was caught with his hand right in the cookie jar.  He mine as well have walked right into the police station and turned himself in. 

It was devastating when he woke up, handcuffed to a hospital bed, charged with attempted murder.  It was even more devastating when he learned that Eva had lived through the attack.  His plan had been completely ruined.  It was like a punch in the face.  He felt like everything that he did was for nothing, because he didn’t get what he wanted.

At court, the prosecutor offered him a deal and he took it.  He will never understand why they did, because he thought that all the evidence against him was solid.  There was obviously something about the case that he didn’t know.  He asked his lawyer, but his lawyer didn’t have an explanation for it.  Ultimately, the reason didn’t really matter.  He didn’t get nearly as much time as he should have.     

The good thing about spending five years in a federal penitentiary is you have plenty of time to think.  For the past five years, he has been creating and shaping a plan.  He’s been putting every detail together, step by step.  There won’t be any mistakes this time around.  There won’t be any Good Samaritans to jump in and save precious little Eva.  This time around, he’s going to achieve his ultimate goal and watch her die.  He loves second chances.

He will get his revenge.  He will find her and he will kill her.  This time he will finish the job.  He will take his time.  He will savor every single minute.  This time he will inflict eternal pain.  He hopes that Eva is cherishing her life and appreciating it, because very soon it will over.

When the prison doors close behind him and he is really free, he smiles to himself.  It’s time to put the first step of his plan into action.  He will find a place to stay and then he will find where Eva Taylor is hiding.  He will find her and he will destroy her.

* * * * *

“Gabriel, I have reviewed your medical report, and unfortunately, you are not medically fit to return to the Navy,” the Doctor says, taking off his reading glasses to look at Gabriel.

“But sir, there must be some mistake.  My vision is a little blurry, but it’s not bad.  I can see well enough,” Gabriel says, pleading.  The Navy is all he’s ever known.

“I’m sorry, Gabriel.  Your vision was permanently damaged by the explosion.  Surgery is not an option.  The damage is irreparable.  You can’t safely be in the field.  You would be a danger to yourself and others.  I’m sorry, but we have to discharge you.”

Gabriel is stunned.  He joined the Navy right out of high school.  The Navy has been his whole life.  Every friend and every experience he’s ever had in adulthood is somehow connected to the Navy.  How is he supposed to leave this place and never look back?  He’s never thought about having any kind of life outside of the Navy.  He thought that he would retire from the Navy at proper retirement age.

“What am I supposed to do now, Doc?” he asks, searching the Doctor’s face for answers.

“Gabriel, you’re young.  You’re tough and you’re smart.  You can do anything you want.  Believe it or not, there is life outside of the Navy.  You will be fine, I promise.”

“Will I?” Gabriel says sadly, looking down at his hands.

“I’m going to set up some counseling for you.  I imagine the transition will be hard at first, but I know that you will be fine.  You just have to keep your head up and keep pushing forward.  Don’t think of this as a failure, son.  Think of it as an opportunity.  You’re free to try new things.  You’ll be able to discover yourself and what you like.  You’ll be able to do what you want to do, and not have to follow someone else’s orders all the time.” 

“That’s all fine and well, but the Navy is my life, sir.”

“Not anymore, Gabriel.  Your life in the Navy is over.  Your life now is outside the walls of this base.”

“Thanks Doc.  I’ll see you around.”

“Take care, Gabriel.  I wish you all the best in the future.”

Gabriel ends the conversations abruptly.  He’s never been one to talk a situation to death.  The message has been received loud and clear.  Now, he just needs to get to a place where he can be alone to process it. 

He takes the back way out of the medical office to his car.  He can’t bare to see anyone and have to explain that he’s been sent home.  He’d rather just disappear, like a ghost, than have to look at the sorry looks on their faces and their sympathetic words.  He doesn’t want anyone’s pity. 

He hadn’t planned for this outcome.  He thought that his vision was adequate enough to return to the field.  He never thought that he would be sidelined.  He hadn’t prepared for this in the least.  Being discharged wasn’t even on his radar screen.  It’s a complete shock.  What the hell is he supposed to do now?  He has nowhere to go.  When he wasn’t on duty, he lived on the base.  He doesn’t have a home off base.  He’s homeless. 

There is only one place that he wants to go, Aunt Rosa’s.  He knows that she will happily take him in.  At least he hopes so.  He dials her cell phone number.

“Hola,” she says, answering after the first ring.

“Hola, Aunt Rosa, it’s Gabe.”

“Gabe!  I haven’t heard from you for so long.  Como esta?”

“I’m fine Auntie.  Listen, I’m calling because I need a favor.”

“What’s wrong?  Are you in trouble?”

“No, I’m not in trouble.  Remember the explosion?”

“Of course.  How could I forget?  We thought that you were going to be blind, but thank God that didn’t happen.”

“Well, I had my medical review today.”

“And what did they say?”

“My vision has been permanently damaged and I can’t return to active duty.”

“Carino, are they sure?”

“They’re sure, Auntie.  My career in the Navy is over.”

“Carino, I’m so sorry.  I know how much you love the military.  What are you going to do now?  What is the favor that you need?  Do you need money?”

“Auntie, I have to leave the base and I don’t have anywhere to go.  I was wondering if I could come and stay with you until I find a place and get onto my feet.”

“Of course you can come and stay with me.  You don’t have to ask.  You can stay with me as long as you like.  It will be nice to have someone around the house.”

“Thank you, Aunt Rosa.  You don’t know how much it means to me.”

“No problem.  I love you.  I’ll help you in any way that I can.  You’ll have to come and pick up the key to the house, though.”

“Where are you?”

“I’m at work.

“Okay, give me the address and I will be right over.”

“Okay, come and get it.”

Rosa gives him the address.  He’s glad that she’s allowed him to stay with her.  Her house as always been a safe place for him, a welcoming place.  When he was a kid, he loved when he would be able to go over to her place and spend the weekend.  He never wanted to go home.  She always spoiled him rotten. 

When his parents were killed in a plane crash, while he was in the military, she was his only support system.  She was there by his side, supporting him like no other.  He couldn’t have asked for a better Aunt. 

If only he were coming to stay with her under better circumstances.  He doesn’t feel very happy and he’s not sure that he’s going to be able to put on a brave face in front of his Aunt.  He knows how his Aunt Rosa will worry about him.  She’ll be on overdrive trying to take away his sadness.  He hates to put that kind of burden on her.