Laugh Lines: Conversations With Comedians (23 page)

Corey: Are you and David working on any new projects together?

Amy: We’ve got a new play. Hopefully, it will open in November. We have no idea what it is. We don’t have a title. We just have that vague date. We get like a two-week break in July, and I’ll fly to France and work on it.

Corey: What do you think about David’s stories, especially the ones where you’re a character?

Amy: They’re great. Sometimes David remembers stuff that I don’t remember. I’m like, ‘Really? That happened?’ I was like, ‘You should name “Naked,” “True Enough for You.” I think David’s writing is great. Usually he’ll ask, ‘Hey, I’m writing this thing; do you mind?’ It’s close sometimes. With his imagination, it’s there; it’s all true.

Corey: Each episode of ‘Strangers’ ends with a dance sequence. You’re quite the hoofer on screen.

Amy: I don’t dance in real life. I’m dancing the best I can as Jerri Blank. It’s fun when you’re doing it as a different character because you can go all out. It kind of happened accidentally. When we did the pilot, we were just kind of goofing around and said, ‘Let’s dance at the end of every episode.’

Corey: I understand you are planning to turn the show into a film. Big plans?

Amy: I want to do something in the beginning. (As Jerri Blank): ‘Look, very different from the TV series and anyone who has a problem with that, leave. Eight animals were harmed during the making of this movie. Leave.’

I next caught up with Amy at her quaint New York City apartment around the holidays after “Strangers with Candy” the TV series came to an end.

Corey: Have you done your Christmas shopping?

Amy: Yeah, I’m like 90 percent done. I start early, because if you want to have something made or something, you always have to think ahead of time.

Corey: Did you save anything from the ‘Strangers with Candy’ set?

Amy: I have a lot of her outfits and shoes. I have a few props. That long, brown dress I wore in the violin episode, I wore it again. I got to wear it twice in the shows. I always like it when people repeat their clothing. That’s a really nice dress to me. I remember the price tag being a lot of money, but Vicki got it for like $10. But originally it was like $1,500 or something ridiculous. I remember thinking, ‘Wow.’ And she was like, ‘Heh, got it for 10.’

Corey: How is the ‘Strangers with Candy’ movie coming along?

Amy: We’re writing it right now. It’s gonna start off with her in prison. Then she gets out of prison and she goes home to Flatpoint because she wants to see her family. And she realizes her mom is dead and her dad is in a coma. Then I go to Flatpoint High and ask Principal Blackman if I can go back to school. So, I’m in school for a while and again it’s about popularity and how I desperately want to fit in. Then there’s a science fair going on, and there’s a project. I’m on a team that has a pretty good project, and a team that doesn’t have a good project is a popular team. The guy on the popular team is pretending to like me so I would give up our idea to their team so they could win the contest. So, so far, that’s what we have.

Corey: If the show had continued, what would Jerri Blank do after high school?

Amy: We never figured she’d graduate. She was always going to fail. Something would prevent her from moving ahead.

Corey: That’s pretty sad.

Amy: (laughs) I know. Oh well.

Corey: I just saw you on Letterman. You were awesome, as usual. Do you prepare material for it?

Amy: The last time I did it, they called me last minute. They called the night before at 11 p.m. They had a cancellation and asked if I would do the show. I love last-minute stuff. David Letterman works really, really hard for his show and I always try to be prepared for his show. And I know he respects that. One thing I like about him is, you’ll do a pre-interview, but he doesn’t always stick to that when you go out there.

You don’t know what he’s gonna ask you really. He’s got some stuff in front of him but he may ask and he may not, but you’re forced to listen, which is really good. Sometimes, you get so nervous you’re answering questions that he hasn’t even asked yet. You know he’s not going to let you fail. He’s right there. He’s not out there for himself. He’s not out there to be the funny one. He’s a very giving person, which is really nice.

Whenever there’s a break, he’ll ask me how my family is, because he’ll talk to David now and then. He’ll ask how my family is and what I’m up to. I don’t know him out of that chair and I don’t want to know him outside of that chair. It’s kind of nice to have an audience in front of us every time.

The next time we chatted, Amy had written a new book, “I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence,” full of recipes and party-planning tips right out of the gin-and-bong-water-soaked ’60s. But don’t let the book’s kitschy appearance fool you, Sedaris takes her baking and hosting duties extremely seriously.

Corey: What is the etiquette if hosting a gathering or party and one or more of the guests is allergic to pets like dogs, cats or rabbits?

Amy: I always warn them ahead of time, and I have prescription allergy medicine on hand. But if they swell up, I take a snap shot and save it for a Christmas card and send it to them saying, ‘Have a swell Christmas.’

Corey: Where do you find your dishes and serving platters and what not?

Amy: I throw nothing away. Some were my mom’s gifts. I comb flea markets and thrift stores. I love Mood Indigo in New York, but they are expensive. I'll go there if I can't find it anywhere else. Mr. Pinks is good, too.

Corey: What’s been the most successful meal you have ever prepared?

Amy: Leg of lamb I think. I like making beef tenderloin, and I made a ham once that was really good only because I had to humiliate it to cook it.

Corey: There are a lot of beautiful and fun photos in the book. How do you get into a mode for a long day of photographs?

Amy: A lot were thought of way a head of time, some on the spot. Some the team and I scurried to create with what I had in my apartment. I wanted each picture to tell its own story so the person who can’t read could write their own book in their head. I had to think quick on my feet to remember where in the hell that something I needed for the picture was in my apartment.

Corey: What do you think of the Food Network?

Amy: I don't watch it at all—never—I just want to do it. I like to remember the shows that were on when I was a lot younger.

Corey: What is the largest number of cupcakes you have made at one time? Do you sample as you bake?

Amy: I only sample if I'm high and it’s late at night. The most I’ve made was something like 450.

Corey: You appear to have a lot of outfits. How do you deal with storage living in New York?

Amy: I force it, force it, force it.

Corey: I don’t like onions. Is there an ingredient you typically avoid in recipes because you don’t like it? Any tips to get me to not hate onions?

Amy: If you don't like onions, then you don’t like onions. I don't like hard-boiled eggs in anything.

Corey: To me, the book has an old-school vibe. What did your kitchen look like growing up? Did you have a favorite cup or glass to drink from back then?

Amy: I liked the glasses that would come with the box of detergent. I loved anything with Goofy Grape on it. I loved his buck teeth.

Corey: OK, you find out you have an hour to throw together a last-minute birthday party for a friend. What do you do? What do you wear?

Amy: I would run to the butcher, buy some steaks; run to the store and buy potatoes and I would grab a bag of spinach. I can make that in half an hour. I might pick up a cake. I would grab the prettiest apron I have, wear it over my blue slip and wear my red high-heel shoes. Then I would call my dealer. If they don’t eat meat or smoke weed then I would say, ‘Oh wow, we should get together sometime to celebrate your birthday.’

Corey: What is your favorite party theme?

Amy: Let’s play slave. You have to do everything I ask you to do.

Corey: Who is the best guest you have ever hosted?

Amy: Impossible to answer.

Corey: What would you serve for dinner for a Jerri Blank-Just-Released-from-the-Pokey party?

Amy: Chips.

Corey: What was the most challenging thing about writing a book?

Amy: Staying focused and committing to a long-term project. And when it came to three days before turning it in, stop thinking of new ideas.

Being a huge fan of sketch comedy, I was glued to Fox’s “In Living Color,” and in particular, was jazzed by its stalwart Everyman, David Alan Grier, who like “SNL’s” Phil Hartman, could transform into a multitude of characters or play even the tiniest role and be a riot.

I was tickled by the inappropriateness of his bind bluesman, Calhoun Tubbs. “Wrote a song about it. Like to hear it? Here it goes.” And who could forget David play half of the gay movie talk show duo, Blaine and Antoine? (I guess I could have been offended, but no group was safe on “In Living Color.”)

But, I will never forget David’s portrayal of the tragic figure, Don “No Soul” Simmons, in the sketch movie, “Amazon Women on the Moon.” I had to ask David about playing a black man born without soul when I caught up with him during a stand-up comedy tour a few years ago.

Corey: Where do you derive your material from these days?

David Alan Grier: It’s actually the same, but I guess it’s become more personal. If I feel like I have an individual take on politics or the war or all these catastrophes together, then I talk about that. But I think the core of my act is about me, my life. I think all comics talk about the same thing; it’s just their voice that makes it different. Guys that blow me away have that ability to take the same thing that I’ve seen or talked about 8 billion times, but they look at it from a different angle or point of view. That’s what’s most exciting. ‘Oh man, I’ve never thought of it like that.’

Corey: As the country’s gotten more conservative, has that translated to comedy audiences as well?

DAG: Not if they’re coming to see me, they’re not. I really don’t care. You have to be true to yourself, your voice. Not that I’m profane, but, no. The first gig I ever did was for this college and I remember I said ‘pussy’ on stage and all these women booed. I had to stop and go, ‘What did I say? Pussy.’ At that point in ’92, to these young women that was a bad word. I don’t know, perhaps snatch, cooter, twat was fine, but pussy wasn’t.

Corey: Pussy wasn’t workin’.

DAG: Exactly! Then, a few years later, pussy, feminists reclaimed the word. Then it became powerful and cool. What I like about performing live is there’s no filter. I don’t have five joke writers who write for me. I write my own material. You connect immediately with your audience, and that’s something that’s unique from any other form. When you talk about movies or television, it’s filtered, and it takes forever—nine to 12 months—before a movie comes out. You just don’t have that immediacy of people sitting there and laughing or not laughing; you’re just communing with your audience.

Corey: What do you think of the comedy scene today as opposed to when you first started? There were a lot more comedy clubs then.

DAG: That was even at the end of—or at least what people told me—the huge heyday in the ’80s. Club owners would tell me they would never have to pay headliners, because it didn’t matter who they had on their stage, people would come. At least for a time. When they had Evening at the Improv. Tonight at Ho-Hos. Whatever. A lot of guys got starts with 10 minutes. You do 10 minutes; you do six months of comedy, and you’re as headliner, because they saw you in some road show. For the last few years, there have been about the same 12 or 15 guys who headline and it’s been harder for people to break through and really headline. You’ve got to get on the radio. You have to get a relationship with those shows. I wish on the club level, they took more care to nurture newer talent. I think it’s for their own survival that they try to breed this next generation.