Last Telegram (3 page)

“How did the exams go, you two?”

I winced at the unwanted memory. “Don't ask. Truth will out in a couple of weeks' time.”

Mother appeared behind us and threw her arms round him with a joyful yelp. “My dearest boy. Thank heavens you are home safely. Come in, come in.”

He took a deep breath as he came through the door into the hallway. “Mmm. Home sweet home. Never thought I'd miss it so much. What's that wonderful smell?”

“I've baked your favorite lemon cake in your honor. You're just in time for tea,” Mother said. “You'll stay too, Vera?”

“Have you ever known me to turn down a slice of your cake, Mrs. Verner?” she said.

Mother served tea, and as we talked, I noticed how John had changed, how he had gained a new air of worldliness. Vera had certainly spotted it too. She smiled at him more than really necessary and giggled at the feeblest of his jokes.

“Why are you back so soon?” Father asked. “I hope you completed your course?”

“Don't worry, I finished all my exams,” John said cheerfully. “Honestly. I've learned such a lot at the
Silkschüle
, Pa. Can't wait to get stuck in at the mill.”

Father smiled indulgently, his face turning to a frown as John slurped his tea—his manners had slipped in his year away from home.

Then he said, “What about your certificates?”

“They'll send them. I didn't fail or get kicked out, if that's what you are thinking. I was a star pupil, they said.”

“I still don't understand, John,” Father persisted. “The course wasn't due to finish till the end of the month.” John shook his head, his mouth full of cake. “So why did you leave early?”

“More tea, anyone?” Mother asked, to fill the silence. “I'll put the kettle on.”

As she started to get up, John mumbled, almost to himself, “To be honest, I wanted to get home.”

“That's nothing to be ashamed of, dear,” she said. “We all get homesick sometimes.”

“That's not it,” he said in a somber voice. “You don't understand what it was like. Things are happening over there. It's not comfortable, 'specially in Austria.”

“Things?” I said, with an involuntary shiver. “What things?”

“Spit it out, lad,” Father said gruffly. “What's this all about?”

John put down his cup and plate and sat back in his chair, glancing out the window toward the water meadows at that Constable view. Mother stopped, still holding the pot, and we all waited.

“It's like this,” he started, choosing his words with care. “We'd been to Austria a few times—you know, we went skiing there. Did you get my postcard?”

Mother nodded. “It's on the mantelpiece,” she said, “pride of place.”

“It was fine that time. But then, a few weeks ago, we went back to Vienna to visit a loom factory. Fischers. The owner's son, a chap called Franz, showed us around.”

“I remember Herr Fischer, Franz's father. We bought looms from him once. A good man,” Father said. “How are they doing?”

“It sounded as though business was a bit difficult. As he was showing us round, Franz dropped a few hints, and when we got outside away from the others, I asked him directly what was happening. At first he shook his head and refused to say anything, but then he whispered to me that they'd been forced to sell the factory.”

“Forced?” I asked. “Surely it's their choice?”

“They don't have any choice,” John said. “The Nazis have passed a new law that makes it illegal for Jewish people to own businesses.”

“That's outrageous,” Father spluttered.

“His parents think that if they keep their heads down it will all go away,” John said as I struggled to imagine how all of this could possibly be happening in Vienna, where they trained white horses to dance and played Strauss waltzes on New Year's Eve.

“Is there any way we can help them, do you think?” Mother said sweetly. Her first concern was always to support anyone in trouble.

“I'm not sure. Franz says it feels unstoppable. It's pretty frightening. They don't know where the Nazis might go next,” John said solemnly. “It's not just in business, you know. I saw yellow stars painted on homes and shops. Windows broken. Even people being jeered at in the street.” He turned to the window again with a faraway look, as if he could barely imagine what he'd seen. “They're calling it a pogrom,” he almost whispered. I'd never heard the word before, but it sounded menacing, making the air thick and hard to breathe.

Mother broke the silence. “This is such gloomy talk,” she said brightly. “I want to celebrate my son's return, not get depressed about what's happening in Europe. More cake, anyone?”

Later, Vera and I walked down the road to her home. She lived just a mile away, and we usually kept each other company to the halfway point. “What do you think?” I asked when we were safely out of the house.

“Hasn't he changed? Grown up. Quite a looker these days.”

“Not about John,” I snapped irritably. “I saw you fluttering your eyelashes, you little flirt. Lay off my brother.”

“Okay, okay. Don't lose your rag.”

“I meant, about what he
said
.”

“Oh, that,” she said. “It sounds grim.”

“Worse than grim for the Jews,” I said. “I'm not sure what a pogrom is exactly, but it sounds horrid.”

“Well, there's not much we can do from here. Let's hope your father's right about Chamberlain sorting it out.”

“But what if he doesn't?”

She didn't reply at once, but we both knew what the answer was.

“Doesn't bear thinking about,” she said.

• • •

When I got back, Father leaned out of his study door.

“Lily? A moment?”

It was a small room with a window facing out onto the mill yard, lined with books and heavy with the fusty fragrance of pipe tobacco. It was the warmest place in the house, and in winter, a coal fire burned constantly in the small grate. This was his sanctuary; the heavy paneled door was normally closed, and even my mother knocked before entering.

It was one of my guilty pleasures to sneak in and look at his books when he wasn't there—
The
Silk
Weavers
of
Spitalfields
,
Sericulture
in
Japan
,
The
Huguenots
,
So
Spins
the
Silkworm
, and the history of a tape and label manufacturer innocently titled
A
Reputation
in
Ribbons
that always made me giggle. Most intriguing of all, inside a plain box file were dozens of foolscap sheets filled with neat handwriting and written on the front page in confident capitals:
A
HISTORY
OF
SILK, by HAROLD VERNER
. I longed to ask whether he ever planned to publish it but didn't dare admit knowing of its existence.

I perched uneasily on the desk. From his leather armchair by the window, Father took a deep breath that was nearly, but not quite, a sigh.

“Mother and I have been having a chat,” he started, meaning he'd decided something and had told her what he thought. My mind raced. This was ominous; whatever could it be? What had I done wrong recently?

“I won't beat around the bush, my darling. You've read the reports and now, with what John told us this afternoon…”

“About the pogrom?” The word was like a lump in my mouth.

He ran a hand distractedly through his thinning hair, pushing it over the balding patch at the back. “Look, I know this will be disappointing, but you heard what he told us.”

I held my breath, dreading what he was about to say.

“In the circumstances, Mother and I think it would be unwise for you to go to Geneva this September.”

A pulse started to thump painfully in my temple. “Unwise? What do you mean? I'm not Jewish. Surely this pogrom thing won't make any difference to me?” He held my gaze, his expression fixed. He'd made up his mind. “It isn't fair,” I heard myself whining. “You didn't stop John going.”

“That was a year ago. Things have changed, my love.”

“The Nazis aren't in Switzerland.”

He shook his head. “Not yet, perhaps. But Hitler is an ambitious man. We have absolutely no idea where he will go next.”

“But Chamberlain…?” I was floundering, clinging to flotsam I knew wouldn't float.

“He's doing his best, poor man.” Father shook his head sadly. “He believes in peace, and so do I. No one wants another war. But it's not looking too good.”

I couldn't comprehend what was happening. In the space of two minutes, my future life, as far as I could see it, had slipped away, and I was powerless to stop it. “But I have to go. I've been planning it for months.”

“You don't need to make any quick decisions. We'll let Geneva know you won't be going in September, but other than that, you can take your time.” Father's voice was still calm and reasonable. I felt anything but.

“I don't want to take my time. I want to go now,” I whined, like a petulant child. “Besides, what would I do instead?”

He felt in his pocket for his tobacco pouch and favorite briar pipe. With infuriating precision, he packed the pipe, deftly lit a match, held it to the bowl, and puffed. After a moment he took it from his mouth and looked up, his face alight with certainty. “How about a cooking course? Always comes in handy.”

I stared at him, a hot swell of anger erupting inside my head. “You really don't understand, do you?” I registered his disapproving frown but the words spilled out anyway. “Because I'm a girl you think my only ambition is to be a perfect little wife, cooking my husband wonderful meals and putting his slippers out every evening.”

“Watch your tone, Lily,” he warned.

To avoid meeting his eyes, I started to pace the Persian rug by the desk. “Times have changed, Father. I'm just as intelligent as any man, and I'm not going to let my brain go soggy learning to be a wonderful cook or a perfect seamstress. I don't want to be a wife either, not yet anyway. I want to
do
something with my life.”

“And so you shall, Lily. We will find something for you. But not in Geneva, or anywhere else in Europe for that matter,” he said firmly. “And now I think we should finish this discussion. It's time for bed.”

I nearly slammed the study door behind me but thought better of it at the last minute and pulled it carefully closed. In my bedroom, I cursed Father, Chamberlain, and Hitler, in that order. I loved my room, with its pretty damask curtains and matching bedcover, but these treasured things now seemed to mock me, trapping me here in Westbury. After a while, I caught sight of myself in the mirror and realized how wretched I looked. Self-pity would get me nowhere, and certainly not into a more interesting life. I needed to get away from home, perhaps to London, to be near Vera. But what could I do? I was qualified for nothing.

I remembered Aunt Phoebe. She was a rather distant figure, a maiden aunt who lived in London with a lady companion, worked in an office somewhere, drove an Austin Seven all over Europe, and cared little for what anyone else thought about her unconventional way of life. Perhaps I could train as a secretary, like her? Earn enough to rent a little flat? The idea started to seem quite attractive. It wasn't as romantic as Geneva, but at least I would get away and meet some interesting people.

Now all I had to do was convince Father that this was a reasonable plan.

At breakfast next day, I crossed my fingers behind my back and announced, “I've decided to get a job in London. Vera and I are going to share a bedsit.” I hadn't asked her yet, but I was sure she would say yes.

“Lovely, dear.” Mother was distracted, serving breakfast eggs and bacon from the hotplate.

“Sounds fun,” John said, emptying most of the contents of the coffee jug into the giant cup he'd bought in France. “Vera's a good laugh. What are you going to do?”

“Leave some coffee for me,” I said. “I could do anything, but preferably something in an office. I'll need to get some experience first. I thought perhaps I could spend a few weeks helping Beryl at Cheapside?” Beryl managed Verners' London office. “What do you think, Father?”

“Well, now,” he said, carefully folding his newspaper and placing it beside his knife and fork. “Another Verner in the firm? There's an idea.” He took the plate from Mother and started to butter his toast, neatly, right to the edges. “A very good idea. But you'd have to work your way up like everyone else.”

“What do you mean, ‘work my way up'?” Was he deliberately misinterpreting what I'd said?

“You'd have to start like John did, as a weaver,” he said, moving his fried egg onto the toast.

“That's not what I meant. I want
secretarial
experience, in an
office
. Not weaving,” I said sharply. “I don't need to know how to weave the stuff to type letters about it. Does Beryl have to weave?”

He gave me a fierce look, and the room went quiet. Mother slipped out, muttering about more toast, and John studied the pattern on the tablecloth. Father put down his knife and fork with a small sigh, resigned to sacrificing his hot breakfast for the greater cause of instructing his willful daughter.

“Let me explain, my dearest Lily, the basic principles of working life. Beryl came to us as a highly experienced administrator, and you have no skills or experience. You know very well that I do not provide sinecures for my family, and I will not give you a job just because you are a Verner. As I said, you need to learn the business from the bottom up to demonstrate that you are not just playing at it.”