Last Kiss in Tiananmen Square (10 page)

They held hands and walked back toward Baiyun’s dormitory where Dagong’s bicycle was parked.

“It is so much fun that I don’t feel guilty for not studying TOFEL tonight,” said Baiyun. She couldn’t stop smiling while skipping forward. Dagong had to walk fast to catch up with her.

“Like an old Chinese saying, there is no never-ending party. I will go back to my apartment and study TOFEL,” said Dagong. His face was rather solemn.

“You are right. We should go back to TOFEL study instead of partying all night,” agreed Baiyun as a good and responsible student.

“Even though partying all night would be great!” said Dagong.

“You are too old to party all night,” said Baiyun teasingly.

“Hey, you never know what an old guy like me can do.” Dagong stopped now. They had reached Baiyun’s dormitory. On the side of the building beside the entrance, Dagong held Baiyun by the waist and pulled her toward him. Baiyun’s heart was beating faster. What was he going to do? For some reason she knew. She moved her head closer staring at him with her two innocent brown eyes waiting for his lips to reach hers. A sound startled her.

“Hi, guys.” It was Yumei’s voice.

“Hi, Yumei.” Baiyun quickly moved away from Dagong.

“Oh, sorry. Have fun.” Yumei quickly walked into the dormitory door.

“Well, she stole our kiss,” said Dagong. “I need to go now. It will take me a while to get home.” He held Baiyun’s hands staring into her eyes. He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, and then turned away.

Baiyun was standing in the dark feeling lost. How much she wished he would give her a long kiss. Yet she knew it might be too fast and too rushed. She needs to go to bed.

Chapter 6

At 2:00am on April 25
^th
, Dagong arrived home after an hour and half bicycle ride. He pushed the squeaky gate to the four-corner yard open and saw someone sitting there smoking. As he walked closer, he realized he was Lao Liu with a cat lying next to him. OMG, Dagong said to himself. He wished that not a single soul in this yard had witnessed his coming home this late or this early. He somehow didn’t want to explain. He knew some day he had to explain to Baiyun he was married so he couldn’t marry her even though he was deeply in love with her. Of course, he didn’t have to tell Lao Liu about this.

“Lao Liu, why are you still awake, day dreaming?” Dagong tried to be humorous.

“Dagong? You are late, wild man,” said Lao Liu as though being awoken from a nap.

“Why are you still awake, dead man?”

“Wow, you are getting naughty, too. I guess it’s good for you. You used to be the dead man in this yard. Now I’m it. At least my flowers are alive.” Lao Liu stroked the cat. The cat turned around and seemed to enjoy it.

Dagong sat down next to Lao Liu and lit a cigarette.

“Zhang Ping has been looking for you this evening. She wanted to find you in Tiananmen Square. I told her that it was impossible to find someone there. After the memorial service of Hu Yaobang, so many people were hanging around the Tiananmen Square. It was like a county fair in giant scale. She didn’t believe me. Then I told her I had seen you talking to the students. She screamed and ran into your apartment sobbing. So be careful. If I were you, I would spend the night here in the yard,” said Lao Liu as he lit another cigarette.

“What happened to you? Have you gotten kicked out of your apartment, too for falling in love with your roses?” Dagong made a face.

Lao Liu didn’t answer for a while. Yes it was not quiet. The sound of water dripping down by the laundry hanging from the ropes in front of every apartment could be heard. The crickets and cicadas were chirping, celebrating the late spring night. Even some loud snoring could be heard through the paper-thin windows.

Of course, really loud shouting would soon drown this noise. A door was slammed open. Mrs. Wang was chasing Mr. Wang out.

“Where did you go today after work?” Mrs. Wang shouted. She wore a torn T-shirt and pair of holey shorts. Her long hair was disheveled. She waved a shoe in her right hand.

“I went to Tiananmen Square to see what’s going on?” Mr. Wang tried to run fast. “Be quiet or you will wake up everyone.”

“I don’t care. Do you know it is dangerous there?”

“Dangerous? I think it is safer than with you at home.” He opened the gate and wandered out.

“Ok. I don’t care where you go now. But tomorrow I want you come home after work before going off to some crazy political demonstration.” Mrs. Wang followed him to the gate and yelled to the darkness.

Dagong stared at Lao Liu and shook his head, and then waved at Mrs. Wang who was still breathing heavily from anger.

“Come and have a cigarette,” said Dagong.

“Sure. I need one.” Mrs. Wang sat down and started crying. “What am I going to do? We have four kids.” Her cigarette went out right away and she had to have Dagong light it again for her.

“Don’t worry. He will come home. Where would he go otherwise? He loves the boys. When did he come home today?” said Dagong. But in his mind, he could see Zhang Ping’s anxious face as she was asking about his where about.

“Eleven! What do you think he was doing?” Mrs. Wang calmed down a little.

“He might have been walking around at Tiananmen Square watching Poetry reading or a Rock & Roll concert or maybe he went over to a college to work with students.” Dagong was getting self-conscious.

“Whom are you talking about? Do you think that sounds like my husband? He goes to work and he comes home. He has never been interested in anything else. All of sudden, you think he has joined the pro-democracy movement? Is that absurd? I think he is seeing a woman.” Mrs. Wang whipped her long hair to her back and took a deep drag on her cigarette.

“I don’t know. The country is changing and people are changing.” Dagong turned to Lao Liu. “Hey. Why are you so quiet? Sleeping? Where do you think Mr. Wang has been going after work?”

Silence. Dagong tried to push him. “Hey, if you don’t answer, I will push you into the fish pound.”

“Ha….” Mrs. Wang started laughing hysterically while pounding the bare brick she was sitting on. “A dead cop in the fish pond. What a lovely sight! The government will have to send a new policeman to watch us here.”

“Stop. You will wake up everyone.” Lao Liu all of sudden opened his eyes.

“Ok. You don’t want me here. I’m leaving. I hear one of my boys crying.” Mrs. Wang got up, tripped on a gap between bricks in the yard, steadied herself, and walked quickly into her apartment.

Dagong could imagine Zhang Ping pushing down the door and charging toward him with a knife in her hand. Her face looked red with fangs. He knew that he was in hot water or would be in deep trouble if he kept going to Beijing University and “running” into Baiyun. But he couldn’t imagine not seeing her now. Life is short. If he is ready to take risks in his life, now is the time, he told himself. If Zhang Ping kicked him out, he would just pitch a tent in the square.

Lao Liu lit a new cigarette. “That was a nice nap.”

“Are you awake? Where do you think Mr. Wang has been hanging out in the last few days?”

“The reason I didn’t say anything was I knew where he had been going,” said Lao Liu rather seriously.

“Where?” Dagong was getting very curious.

“He has been taking pictures of protestors for the police. I saw him in the official video. You see that’s why I didn’t say anything. We have a spy here. We have a spy in our yard.” Lao Liu was so angry that he stood up and started pacing. “You have to go to Beijing University tomorrow and tell them to be careful, Ok. I would like to get him arrested but you know I can’t. He is on the government side. Maybe I will have a chance in the future.”

“Ok. I will go to Beijing University tomorrow and tell them this. But I don’t think they would stop doing what they are doing. I hear that they are planning a march to Tiananmen Square soon to commemorate the May 4
^th
student movement in two weeks. They are still trying to have a dialogue with the government and so far the government refuses their demands. They may have a protest march for that in a couple of days. I’m a worker’s representative for the Beijing Student Solidary Federation. I will go back there tomorrow to organize that,” said Dagong rather enthusiastically.

“You really like this movement, I can tell.” Then Lao Liu turned toward Dagong and looked at him in the eye. “Why? Why are you so brave this time? Who woke you up? Who brought you to life?”

“The students. I like them and I like freedom. Have you been to Tiananmen Square recently and looked around? Poetry readings, Rock & Roll concerts, acrobat performances and tarot card readings. People are enjoying themselves. Democracy has been around the west for several centuries and more than two hundred years in the United States. Do you think it is about time for it to shine its light here? It’s definitely not traveling at the speed of light. If so, it would have been here a long time ago.” Dagong stood up as though he was practicing a speech.

Lao Liu cut in, “As you know, China had a brief democracy around the turn of the century under the Sun Yat-sen’s government after the toppling of the Qing Dynasty, the last imperial dynasty of China. It had the first democratic election in 1913. But it was short-lived and only lasted for three months before Sun Yat-sen relinquished his power to General Yuan Shih-kai, who in turm declared himself as the emperor of a new dynasty until his death in 1916. The warlords and Chiang Kai Shek ruled for the next 33 years without success and lost its power to the Communist Party in 1949. The Chinese people have been used to a central government as shown by our more than 2000 years of civilized history. People in power don’t like to give up power because it’s so nice to be the ‘Emperor of China’. So why do you think this time it’s different? I can’t believe how crazy you have gotten.” Lao Liu opened his palms staring at Dagong.

“Yes. I can’t believe myself. Sometimes after you have long suffered long and been almost dead for many years, you tend to believe in miracles.” Dagong sighed.

Lao Liu continued. “Do you remember in 1957 when everyone was encouraged to speak up and to criticize the Communist government? In the end, the government came in, purged the most brilliant and most talented individuals and sent them to labor camps. Have you forgotten that? Have you forgotten the Cultural Revolution? Have you forgotten the labor camp yourself?” Lao Liu stood up, grabbed Dagong’s shoulder shaking. “Wake up!”

Dagong broke free from Lao Liu and sat down. He lit another cigarette and started smoking. “But what is the meaning of life if we keep being passive and dead?”

“Who tells you to question that? You know many of these young people didn’t even know what the Cultural Revolution was like? They were born after that. There is a sucker born every minute.”

“That’s the beauty of that, their naivety They will rise up and overthrow the government,” said Dagong. He was surprised how forceful he had become.

“Then do you think they would be interested in having a democratic government? What makes you think they are not interested in having the power all to themselves?”

“One can always hope. I don’t know. I just don’t want to be negative.” Dagong looked up to the late spring night. The moon came out from behind the clouds, looking huge and pale emitting its cold light. He thought of Baiyun, her angelic face, her beautiful voice, and her troubled family background. She, too, suffered in the Cultural Revolution. Why were they stupid enough to join the movement? He should find her and ask her that question. How much he wished he could see her now.

“I’m going in,” said Lao Liu while standing up gradually. He tried to do a few stretches. “Oh, my legs. But you, Dagong, I think it is safer for you here. Zhang Ping is mad at you and may strangle you if she sees you. Take a nap here by the fish pond.” He slowly walked away. Then he turned back, “Oh, I forgot to tell you that the police have been ordered to line up near the Beijing University and QingHua University so if students were ready to march again, they can be stopped at their infancy. Of course, the police will wait for orders. If there is no order, they will just stay there and watch. Tell the students to be careful. The police are armed. Good night.”

“Ok. I will. Good morning,” said Dagong.

Lao Liu chuckled and sauntered away.

Dagong tried to sleep on the brick wall by the fishpond. Fortunately Lao Liu left him a blanket to cover himself. He couldn’t fall asleep. He thought about what was going to happen if he continued to ignore the TOFEL study, join the student movement and see Baiyun. Regardless whether the students should succeed or not, he would have to change his life. He had woken up. He realized that he had lived in a self-imposed prison for too long. The wind of democracy finally broke the window of his cell so he could escape. But it was up to him to decide whether he should get out or not. It is time, he was telling himself. He would at least pitch a tent in Tiananmen Square tomorrow just like all the people from other provinces. At this moment he could hear the opening and closing of the squeaky gate. He could hear Little Pea’s giggles and her boyfriend Yu Gang’s voice. As soon as they came in, their voices stopped.