Last Chance Christmas (14 page)

And wasn’t that apt right now? She’d limped her way through this week with J.C. too, afraid of falling for him. Afraid of getting hurt. Except she’d gone and done both those things. She’d come here to make peace with the past, not repeat it with the bonus of sex.

She reached behind a bird ornament in the wreath on the front door and pulled out the key he’d hidden there. Letting herself in, she switched on a lamp by the entrance, bringing the front room into focus. A room where they’d fallen asleep in front of the fireplace. A room with a fifteen foot Christmas tree in the window, waiting to be decorated. They’d planned to work on it tonight, so J.C. had dragged out the shopping bags with all her purchases for that purpose.

So many plans…

The scent of pine filled the open floor plan, drawing her closer to the fragrant balsam branches. She ran a palm along the needles, still soft against her skin since the tree was so fresh. The rolls of red ribbon caught her eye and she reached for one, her other hand stabbing at the remote for the gas fireplace. The fire leaped to life, the perfect backdrop for decorating. If she’d stayed—if she wasn’t packing her bags to go back to New York—she’d be turning on the holiday tunes right now and thinking about what to make them for dinner.

Instead, she really needed to pack. Because she wasn’t repeating her pattern since she wasn’t the only one running this time. J.C. was leaving too.

His voice outside the house made her drop the roll of ribbon.

How could he have gotten here so quickly?

Peering out the window, she could see his shadow in the glow of a car’s headlights, his tall figure outlined as he shouted a goodbye the driver. The guy from the Grizzlies had driven him here.

Heart pounding, she knew he must be here to pack for his trip back to Chicago. The reminder settled like lead in her stomach, but she swiped a hand over her face to hide any remnants of tears. She wouldn’t make this any harder than it already was—for either of them. She would pack. But first, she could do what she’d set out to this week.

She would say goodbye for real. She would make peace with their past and let them both move on.

No matter how much it hurt.

‡

“Y
ou’re still here.”
J.C. burst into the house in a swirl of snow, the white powder blowing in behind him and falling off his boots onto the front mat. “I was so scared I’d miss you.”

Shea fought the urge to start picking up her things. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed her sweater thrown over a chair. Her phone charger close to the couch. She’d made herself so at home here these last few days.

But she would change her old pattern of running. Dignity be damned, she would grow and be a better person. And maybe, in ten more years when she saw J.C., they could be friends. Rather than give her comfort though, the notion made her eyes burn all over again.

“I realized I had more to say.” She hardly recognized her voice, soft and tentative.

This was new terrain for her.

“Me too.” He swiped the hat off his head as he closed the front door, strands of his dark hair falling forward on his forehead while he toed off his boots. “The whole way here—and I think I aged that poor kid about a decade as we slipped and slid up the mountain road—I kept hoping you’d give me a chance to talk.”

As he tugged his coat off and strode toward her, Shea’s breath caught in her chest. He was her ideal man, the model of everything she wanted in a friend and lover. She’d known that in a peripheral way since the first time she’d noticed him as more than just her father’s hockey protégé. But it was scary to love someone. To need someone.

Being angry with him had been easier.

“Maybe I should go first.” She cleared her throat. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since I got all wound up about the key.” She exhaled a long breath, grateful that J.C. had stopped a few feet away from her. She wasn’t sure she could have this conversation with him if he came much closer. The urge to tuck her head against his chest and hold onto him for dear life was too strong. “You were right about that. There’s more going on with me, and I was probably just waiting for an excuse to cut and run.”

“Do you want to share that with me now? Whatever’s happening with you?” He gestured toward the couch, inviting her to sit with him.

Tough to focus on their conversation when she thought about falling asleep with him here. On this very sofa. But she pinned herself into one end and folded her leg under her.

“When I called in to work about my accident—needing to use my sick time—I found out my store is filing for bankruptcy. I have no job.” Now that she was faced with losing J.C., losing her job didn’t hurt nearly as much as it had a few weeks ago. “That’s why I stopped in that boutique and talked to the owner the other day. It occurred to me that I could do something like that.”

“You’d be great at it.” His quiet faith in her was no surprise.

He’d given her the same confidence boosts from the time she was ten and worried about facing a girls’ hockey team reputed to be the best in the state. Or he’d be in her ear—behind the bench—right before a shootout, calmly telling her where he thought she should aim.

“Thank you. Warren told me about the retail space available in the ski resort. I was going to research the viability of a boutique there.” Maybe she still would. Her father had said he liked seeing her. It was practically an admission of missing her. And she missed both her parents. “I didn’t realize how much I missed Cloud Spin.”

She smoothed her hand over a red pillow stitched with a snowflake that she had bought on their shopping trip. She’d tried to buy some of the home décor items herself, but J.C. had beaten her to the credit card machine every time to swipe his rather than hers.

“My best memories are here, too.” His words pulled her head up to gauge his expression since his wife had never even lived in this town. His NHL team wasn’t based in this town. “With you, Shea,” he clarified. “I’d sure like to make more of them.”

“I don’t understand.” Her heart hammered so loudly she thought for sure he must hear it. She couldn’t imagine what he was suggesting since their time together had come to an end. He had to go back to Chicago, didn’t he?

“It might help if I gave you one of your Christmas presents early.” He pointed toward the back of the house. “If I go get it, will you promise not to leave?”

“I’m not going anywhere.” She hadn’t run the other times when she’d been sorely tempted. She sure wasn’t going to leave now when curiosity consumed her.

He disappeared into a storage closet off the laundry room, emerging a second later with a small, flat box wrapped in white foil paper dotted with red ornaments.

“Keep in mind, there are other presents back there. This one is more symbolic than anything.” He handed her the gift and pulled an ottoman over so he could sit next to her while she opened it.

While she ran her finger along the seam where he’d taped the paper closed, J.C. reached for the remote to his wireless speaker and turned on some soft holiday tunes. Between the scent of the tree and the music, it was almost like having a Christmas with him.

Pulling off the cover on the box, she peeled aside the white tissue paper to find a folded piece of heavy parchment paper decorated with a red snowflake someone had drawn very carefully. Smoothing out the paper, her eye went to a silver key taped at the bottom of the note.

A better man would have given you this key to your parents’ house the first day. My only excuse is that I was caught off guard seeing you and then, even after I had time to think about it, I didn’t want you to stay in a house by yourself. Most of all though, I wanted you with me for Christmas. Keep unwrapping though, and I will try to make it up to you.

Shea looked up at him, unsure what to make of his present. It was the same thing he’d already admitted. And she’d forgiven him for it. Still, she wanted to see what the note meant, so she peeled aside another layer of white tissue paper and found another piece of heavy parchment paper decorated with a red snowflake.

Unfolding the note, she spied another key at the bottom of the letter, so she read the words carefully:

I want you to stay in Cloud Spin with me. Forever. Here is the key to the house you’ve already made a home in the few days you’ve been here. Keep unwrapping, Shea.

Her gaze flew to his. Her heart stalled. Then restarted, faster than ever. He didn’t speak though. He just palmed her knee, his warm touch steadying her. Anchoring her.

The Christmas music played on while her whole world was narrowed to that small box and J.C. She skimmed aside another sheet of tissue paper to see a folded parchment paper with a snowflake. Her hands were shaking as she unfolded it. Once more, her eye went to a shiny silver key taped to the bottom of the paper. She swallowed hard as she read:

I want you to live wherever you are happiest. And if that means New York, I will understand even if it hurts. I left you once when you needed me and I will always regret that. But I’ve lived my dreams, and I want to share yours with you now. I would even go to Ne
w York with you if you’d have me there. But I’m giving you a key to my apartment in Chicago. I wish you would be with me there until the season is over and I can come home to Cloud Spin for the summer. I’ll be a free agent then, and I can walk away from the game any time after that.

I love you, Shea. I want you with me all the time. Always. Yours, J.C.

She wasn’t sure how long she stared at those words, but she was startled to see a drop of water land on the most beautiful words she’d ever read, smudging a few in the middle of the note she still clutched tight in her hand.

A tear.

A happy, disbelieving tear on a day of Christmas miracles.

“You see, I had the plan in place for returning the key,” he explained, gesturing to the gift. “And I thought so long about how to say what I wanted to say, I just felt like the notes were going to be more eloquent than I could be if—”

She threw herself in his arms, leaping from the sofa to his lap and bowling him over.

“Yes.” She kissed his face, the bristly scratch of whiskers on her skin the sweetest possible feeling. “Yes.” She stroked a hand over his cheek and cupped his jaw so she could look down into his eyes. “Yes to all of it.”

“Really?” He raised a dark eyebrow at her, his abs flexing under her as he lifted himself up to better see her. “You’ll come with me to Chicago?”

“Yes.” She had issues with hockey, but she wasn’t going to ask him to leave the game because of it. “I understand it’s a different league today than the one my dad played in.” They took care of their players now. Saw the value in protecting their athletes. “I mean, as long as you don’t mind the occasional critique of your play. Because, let’s face it, my wrist shot probably would still put yours to shame.” She wouldn’t let a shared grin substitute for the real emotions she was feeling though. He deserved better than that. “I’m in love with you, J.C. And I have been for most of my life, I’ve just been too stubborn to admit it for half that time and the other half—well, our timing was off.”

“Not anymore. You just gave me the best Christmas present I could have ever imagined.” Sitting up, he brought her with him. Carefully, he slid the notes she still held from her hand and laid them on a nearby table. Then he took both hands in hers. “I mean it about retiring. I’ve achieved most of the things I wanted to.”

“There’s no rush.” She shook her head. “Honestly. I can handle it.” She’d never told him she’d come to one of his games when the Grizzlies played New York a few years ago. She’d been ready to put the past behind them then, actually. But he’d left the arena with the woman who would become his wife later that year. “A lot of my hockey problems were wrapped up with being pressured to be the best. But you’re a much different player than I was. You don’t let it dominate your every waking moment.”

“I want you to dominate my every waking moment. Which is why I’m not going to play much longer either way.” He juggled her against him, turning her so she leaned into him with one shoulder. “But until I retire, we’ll have summers here. And if the team goes on long trips, you can always stay here instead, if you want. Spend time with your folks.”

He stroked warm hands over her hair and she couldn’t imagine a better feeling in the world than having him spell out their future in her ear while he held her close and the scent of pine reminded her of all the fun they could still have getting ready for Christmas. Together.

“Trust me. I’m not giving up those keys. My job left me with quite a few frequent flier miles, so I’ll put them to good use.” She would enjoy preparing this beautiful home for when they could live here full-time. “And we’ll have to come here for all Christmases. Even if it’s just for a few days. I don’t want that rink sitting idle anymore.”

“Spoken like a Walker.” He kissed her temple. Her cheek. The spot beneath her ear that sent shivers down her spine. “And you know I’ll buy you a storefront space wherever you want, whenever you’re ready to go into business, if that’s what you decide to do.”