Lana's Lawman (10 page)

“I guess I didn't want you to know. Ever. So it wasn't that I thought you weren't good enough for me. It's just that I saw my choices in life slipping away.”

“You saw yourself ending up like my parents,” he concluded. “I should never have taken you by there, even for a minute.”

“No. I knew you weren't like them. But that glimpse into your family life made me realize there were still a lot of things I didn't know about you. When you accused me of being a rich little snob and all that stuff, it was easier to agree with you than to explain something I didn't understand myself.”

He saw tears glimmering in her eyes, and that almost undid him. “Are you saying you were in love with me?”

“I loved you with every bone in my body.”

 FIVE

He shook his head. “I don't understand, then.”

“I can't explain it any better. I was out of control and scared to death, and I bolted.”

“You sure did.” Sloan tapped his fork against the edge of his plate. “Probably just as well. What would we have done about the prom? Could you imagine
me
escorting the prom queen onto the dance floor?”

“All right. You can make light of this if you want. I just bared my soul to you—”

“No, Lana, you're right. I'm sorry. Guess I'm just blown away. I never guessed the true situation.”

She surprised him by smiling. “Actually, I
did
imagine you being my date to the prom. A lot. All the girls would have been sick with jealousy.”

“Lana, get real.”

“You think we didn't watch you, speculate about you, wonder what it would be like to … well, we did. We stood in line to date football jocks, but secretly
we were all wishing we had the nerve to approach you. We were jealous of the girls you hung out with, the bad girls.”

“So you decided to be the brave one and give me a try.”

“No.” She grew serious again. “I never made any conscious decision to go after you. You remember how it went as well as I do. We met at the library. We started talking. I found out you were nothing like what I imagined. And I couldn't stay away.”

“In the end you managed to though.”

“Yeah.” Was that a look of regret on her face? Or was it merely nostalgia? Abruptly her face hardened. “Didn't take you long to get over it though.”

“What do you mean? Oh, Nicole Johnson?” He shook his head, then actually laughed at the irony, the ridiculousness of it all. “We all do stupid things sometimes.” He would offer her no more explanation than that. Nicole had cared for him in her own careless way. She'd been a balm to his aching soul, though she could offer him no more than physical comfort, amusing conversation, and an occasional illicit beer.

Neither Sloan nor Lana said anything for a long time. Finally, when Sloan couldn't stand the silence any longer, he stood and took his plate to the sink, rinsed it, put it in the dishwasher. When he turned back to the table, Lana was still sitting there. He thought he saw the glint of tears on her face, but he wasn't sure. “Lana?”

She faced him with a tremulous smile. She
was
crying! “Looks like you did just fine without me. All this
time, I wondered what would have happened if I hadn't messed things up. I could have brought out the best in you, I thought. I could have straightened out your life. But it turns out you didn't need me for that, did you?”

He didn't quite know how to answer that. Sure, he'd turned his life around. But sometimes he thought that his time with Lana had been the first step. She was the only person at that time who saw good in him, who made him want to
be
somebody, somebody wholesome and decent who could deserve her.

“I've never regretted that time we had together, Lana,” he said. That was all he was ready to admit just then. “And I'm glad you told me what you were going through at that time. I always tried to believe you had a good reason for breaking things off, that it wasn't just that you suddenly found me repulsive.”

She gave a weak huff of laughter. “Not that. Never that.” The sudden warmth in her gaze melted any residual bitterness he might have felt.

“Ah, hell, it's not like we could have made it last,” he said, forcing the casual tone just a bit. “I had some growing up to do before I'd have been any good to a girl.”

“Yeah, me too.” She stood and began clearing the table of the rest of the dishes. He helped, and she let him.

Lana's hands trembled slightly as she put the rest of the green beans into a plastic storage container while Sloan stood right beside her, within touching range, wrapping the remaining pork chop in foil. She hadn't meant their conversation to get so personal, to touch
on such raw spots. She'd wanted only to explain, because she didn't want him to think their brief relationship hadn't been important to her.

But just talking about those times brought all kinds of emotions to the surface. He might not have any regrets, but she sure did. Yeah, it had all turned out for the best that she'd never found him. He'd moved to Dallas, gotten an education and a start in police work.

And she'd gone on to marry the first guy she could catch, the one her mother had thought was so “suitable.” The one who'd battered her self-esteem almost beyond redemption. Ironic that the prom queen had messed up her life while the hoodlum had become a shining example of stability.

“I'll be back tomorrow around four,” Sloan was saying, “to finish the roof, if that's all right.”

She nodded. “Sure.”

“It shouldn't take me too long. Would you like to have dinner afterward? We could still have those hamburgers at Spinner's.”

With regret, she shook her head. “Can't. I have class tomorrow night, and Rob goes to his dad's house.” It was for the best, she told herself. It was foolish to think they could recapture anything from the past. They were two different people now. He still got her all stirred up, but unlike when she was eighteen, she had control, something she'd fought tooth and nail for. And she intended to keep it.

He invited you for hamburgers
, an alluring inner voice reminded her.
What would be the harm?
But she knew. If she could just date Sloan, that would be fine.
But somehow she knew that a few casual dates with Sloan Bennett would be impossible. They would find themselves in bed at the first opportunity, and then where would she be?

A victim of her emotions and her hormones once again. She couldn't risk it, especially at this stage in her life, when she needed all her energy and resources to make a living and raise her son right.

Lana tried to concentrate on her botany lecture. But her thoughts kept wandering to her home, her roof, and more significantly, the man fixing her roof. She wanted to be there at least to offer him a drink of water, or maybe a slice of the pie he'd missed the night before because he'd been in such an all-fired hurry to leave.

Maybe she shouldn't have brought up the past. Other than those few little quips he'd made the night he took her to the wedding, he hadn't acted as if he'd borne her a big, hairy grudge over her treatment of him ten years before. It probably meant very little to him. He'd succeeded quite nicely without the prom queen.

“Meez Gaston? Ayee haven't heard from you tonight. Whas da deeference between a sepal an' a calyx?”

Oh, drat! She hadn't been paying the least bit of attention and she was behind on her reading. It took her a few moments to decipher her instructor's heavily
accented English. “Um, a sepal has, um—” She ground to a halt.

“Meester Calhoun, how 'bout you?”

Mr. Calhoun went on to respond to the question at length, but by the time class was over, Lana was still no closer to knowing the answer.

She had to drive out of her way to swing by Bart's house. It was an errand she hated, because the man never failed to say
something
to demean her. The purposeful way he went about undermining her confidence infuriated her, but no more than the fact that she let him get away with it. She always thought of a clever, stinging comeback, but usually she couldn't make herself say it in front of Rob. She refused to stoop to Bart's level.

When she rang the doorbell of the home that used to be hers, Westminster chimes played. Moments later, Bart's current girlfriend, twenty-three-year-old Charlene, pulled open the massive front door. Wearing a stylish exercise leotard, her hair artfully mussed, she smiled smugly at Lana.

“Come in, dear,” she said as if Lana were her seventy-year-old maiden aunt. “Rob is in the kitchen having ice cream with his father.” She made a production out of smoothing her hair away from her face. That was when Lana saw the rock on her hand.

Outwardly she didn't react at all. Inwardly she was thinking,
Oh, Charlene, you poor dear. He once gave me a diamond like that too. Enjoy it while it lasts.
Because now that he had Charlene securely reeled in, he was probably already casting out lures for new prospects. Bart
quickly tired of anything within his grasp. He was always seeking new challenges, whether in the stock market, the squash court, or the dating game.

The thought of this creature being Rob's stepmother was unsettling, but since she virtually ignored Rob from what Rob had said, Lana could hardly feel threatened. Bart's doting housekeeper, Lucia, was more worthy of jealousy.

“Won't you come in? The decorators have just finished with the living room.”

“No, thanks, I'll wait out here.” Lana had no desire to enter Bart's home. The degree of luxury didn't bother her. He was, after all, an attorney, and attorneys generally made good money. It was the fact that Bart constantly complained about his child support payments being such a hardship that made her furious. The payments on his Jag had to be higher.

Rob appeared a few minutes later with his backpack. At first Lana thought she'd lucked out, that Bart had decided not to put in an appearance. But then the door opened wider and there he stood, looking down his nose at her.

“Before you take Rob home,” he said, “I want to know what you intend to do about the garage roof. I won't have my son living in a dangerous—”

“It's fixed,” she said with supreme satisfaction, privately thanking Sloan again, even if he'd jumped in where he didn't belong.

Bart's eyebrows flew up. “But how could you—”

“Does it matter?”

“Yes, it does. If you hired some cheap fly-by-night
contractor who did a lousy job, it could be more dangerous—”

“Officer Bennett is fixing it,” Rob chirped in. “He was supposed to finish it today.”

“You mean that cop from the hospital?” Bart asked, as if he had a right to know. “What, you're
dating
him or something?” He tapped his foot.

“Does it matter? If you don't trust me to properly fix the roof, you can come over and inspect it yourself anytime.”

A muscle jumped in his cheek. “Rob, why don't you run on to the car. I have to speak privately to your mom.” Bart leaned down and gave his son a dutiful hug good-bye, and Rob ran to the car.

“I wish you wouldn't speak to me like that in front of Rob,” he said.

“Like what?”

“Doubting me. Defying me. It sets a bad example.”

“Excuse me? Have you ever listened to the way you talk to me? The day you treat me with an ounce of respect or dignity is the day I'll worry about the kind of example I set for Rob where you're concerned.” She turned and started for the car.

“Lana. I asked you a question, and I expect an answer. Are you seeing this cop?”

“And I gave you an answer. It's none of your business.”

“Anyone who comes in contact with Rob is my business.”

“Look, Bart, do I interrogate you about the women
you go out with?”
Of course not. That would be a full-time job.
“Extend me the same courtesy, please.”

“So this Bennett character
is
someone you're dating?” Bart looked bemused, like he wondered what kind of bozo could possibly want her.

“As I said, and I will say again, it's none of your business.”

She made it to the curb this time without Bart objecting. But she was burning with fury as she started the car. How dare he?

“Are you and Dad fighting again, Mom?” Rob asked. The prospect didn't seem to bother him much.

“Yes, we are,” Lana answered, this time deciding not to shield Rob from the truth. “Your dad is very upset with me for letting the garage roof get so bad that it fell on you. And I admit, I should have done something about it sooner. He wanted to make sure I got it fixed properly, and he's concerned about the kind of people I bring over to the house, because he worries that they might be a bad influence.”

“Like Officer Bennett? He's a policeman. How could he be bad?”

“Well, you and I know he's a nice guy, but Dad doesn't really know him.”