Laird of Ballanclaire (27 page)

She shivered. “I don’t think that bothers them. I’m going to be given another identity, and the twins don’t favor me at all. They look just like you.”

“That they do. And that means they look exactly like their grandmother. Lord, but I canna’ wait to apprise her of her grandmother status. Wait a moment. You
know
about this?”

“I overheard them.”

He hugged her close. “Careful, Constant, love. You’ll be mistaken for a spy at this rate.”

“I’d be a failure.”

“I was na’ verra successful, either, if you look at my record. I’ll have to get better at it if I’m going to ferret out your hiding spot.”

“Hiding spot?”

“I’m going to come for you, love. I’ll move heaven and earth to find you. I’ll have to keep everyone guessing while I do. We’re going to have to come up with a secret code, though.”

“Code?”

“For when I find you. You might be verra well hidden. You might be guarded. Contrary to how it looks at present, I have a bit of trouble with guards. They tend to be verra controlling and impossible to escape from. I only managed it tonight because there’s a terrible storm tossing us about and they allowed me up to relieve myself. Do you wish the particulars?”

She shook her head. He continued on anyway.

“They usually wait about while I handle nature’s call. It’s na’ verra conducive to privacy. I’m na’ the shy sort, but even if I was, spending time in your loft would’ve gotten that sort of thing out of my system.”

“Kameron.”

He sighed. “Verra well. I’ll keep to the subject at hand. I’m released to relieve myself, and again when they let me hold our bairns. They promised me that, if I’d cease struggling. They’ll be withholding it if I doona’ get back afore daylight”

“You hold . . . the twins?” Constant hoped he wouldn’t hear the emotional note in her voice. She swallowed it out of existence as he continued talking.

“Every day. Twice. I see them separately. I asked for that. I want to make certain my children ken their father. I love them, Constant. Already. Immensely. When I’m able to, I’ll show them how much. I’ll buy them each an estate. Will that be enough, do you think?”

“Children don’t need things, Kameron. They need love.”

His arms tightened on her. “They’ll get it, I swear. I also asked for them separately because I wanted to hold them and I wanted to smell them. I imagined you holding them just before me, and that I could smell you on them.”

The room was still rocking in front of her, but Constant couldn’t see it through the sheen of tears.

“Our son, Benjamin, loves to be held. Abigail took a bit more persuasion. Actually, she prefers to ride my knees and be played with. She must take after her mother with such a temperament. I was ever amenable to rules and authority, so it canna’ be me.”

“Kameron,” she said.

“You are a difficult woman to fool. I would rather face an inquisition than you. Verra well, Constant. Our daughter has a feisty side. It’s likely my fault. It endears her to me greatly. Perhaps I should have said that, instead.”

“You don’t mind?”

“Abigail’s temperament? Of course na’. In fact, I find my children such treasures I am at a loss as to what I can give you.”

“Give me?”

“You provided me my heir, Constant, and you doubly gifted me with his sister. ’Tis expected I show gratitude. How about a diamond necklace, with two stones instead of one? Would that suffice?”

“I don’t need gifts, Kam. I only need you.”

Her response had him holding her tighter. “Truer words were never spoken, nor more needed. You have nae idea. I swear to you now, Constant, love, we will be together as a family. I will na’ rest until I get that. You ken?”

She nodded. She didn’t trust her voice.

“That’s na’ a difficult promise to make. I already said as much.”

“When?” she replied.

“Doona’ you listen when I talk? I canna’ wed with any princess. I refuse. If I canna’ be with you, then life is na’ worth living. That is nae lie. I swear it.”

She rolled, in the circle of his embrace, and held herself up by leaning on her elbows.

She looked at him. “What time is it?” she asked.

“I doona’ ken. Tuesday?”

“Kameron.”

The lamplight touched his face, slithered away, and returned. Both times he had the same gentle expression.

“You may na’ believe this, Constant Ballan, but you saved me. I was swimming in debauchery, lechery, and every sort of vice, and then I found you. You changed me. It was na’ something I expected. It was na’ something I looked for. It certainly was na’ something I thought I wanted, but I received it, anyway. To do anything less than commit to you with everything I am—and will be—would be a lifetime of hell. I already ken. I lived through a year of it while I recuperated enough to travel. You make me long to bolt from the life of luxury and lasciviousness I was living, and reach for something else. I was actually ready to till the soil. I still am.”

“You can’t become a farmer, Kameron.”

“Why na’?”

“Because you are meant for so much more. You’re related to the king! You can make him listen. You can help resolve the problems they’re having in the colony. You can. I know it.”

He looked at her, his chin lowered and his eyes glowing every time the light touched them. “Ah, love. I canna’ speak to the king. I canna’ get near him, nor do I wish to. I’m na’ important enough, and let’s na’ forget, I’ve been ostracized. I was sent to the colonies for punishment, although I doona’ recall why at the moment.”

“The Marchioness of Barclay. I assume you two were lovers. She wanted marriage. She must not have known you couldn’t marry anyone except your princess. You should have told her; there wouldn’t have been such a scandal.”

“Oh, hell. Doona’ tell me you remember all that?”

“And more.”

He sighed. “Could we go back to discussing the king? It’s safer, although why we’d care what trouble a few dissidents create, eludes me. We have greater problems.”

“They’re more than a few and they’re not dissidents.”

“Must we have an argument over colonial policies now? Because we’ve little time as it is. It’s probably closing in on morning, although I haven’t a clue.”

Constant’s lips twitched. Then she smiled. “Very well, Kameron. You win. We’ll speak of it when we’re together again.”

“It will take place sooner than you know, love. I’m na’ fond of being separated from my lady wife. Tonight was just a sampling. The barristers had better take that into account. Two more weeks seems an eternity.”

“There’s no guarantee after that, Kam.”

“Oh, there’s every guarantee, my love. I promise you. I may have been a detestable man. I may have been an embarrassment to my parents and my peers and the world at large, but I promise you, I’ll be the best husband and father ever. On that, you have my word.”

“Oh, Kameron.”

This time, she couldn’t halt the tears nor keep him from seeing them, since he was mere inches from her face.

He reached his hands to cup her face, using his thumbs to wipe at the moisture. “We have na’ concocted a code yet, love.”

“Code?” she repeated.

“Blue ribbon.”

“Blue ribbon?”

“When we’re apart, remember. Send me a blue ribbon. When I see it, I’ll come. I promise. Nae matter where they hide you, no matter which continent, I swear I’ll search and I’ll find you. I’ll never cease looking. Ever.”

“I love you,” she replied in a soft tone.

“And I love and adore you. It keeps me sane, when all about me is insanity.” He smiled, leaned forward to place a kiss on her forehead, and then he shrugged his legs off the side of the bed. “You’d best procure my clothing. I’d go myself, but that maid of yours has ideas.”

“Really? I don’t know about what,” she replied, and snickered.

They were waiting for him in the hallway. Constant saw at least six of the kilt-clad men as Kameron looked one way, then the other, then shut the door.

“Oh, good. There’s nae one about.” He was smiling. She didn’t return it.

“Kameron,” she replied.

“You say my name like a threat. If the woman who gave life to me had any potential to be a mother, she’d have sounded the same when I needed it the most. At least, I think she would have. I would have liked it, too. I think.”

“Kameron,” she repeated in the same level tone.

He sighed, the movement taking her with it since he held her to his side. “Oh, verra well, Constant, love. I’ll take another look.”

He opened the door again. There were probably more than six of his guards, although she didn’t count to make certain. She took a quick glance before shrinking back against Kam’s shoulder. She longed to disappear back into her chamber.

The line of men stretched along the corridor in both directions. Although the ship was wildly rocking back and forth, it didn’t seem to affect Kameron’s guards much. Each man had his feet planted apart and rolled with the movement, managing to look like a disciplined soldier. They were soaking wet. Stern-faced. Constant watched as Kameron looked at each one in turn, pulling her along with him while he did so. She wished she wore more than the dressing gown and robe as goose bumps flew over her skin. They returned to her chamber door and Kameron looked down at her again.

“See? Nae one about. Just as I said.”

“Kameron, would you be serious?”

“Good Lord, why? I’m afraid you have me at the wrong time if you wish seriousness. Tomorrow morn, maybe. Right at the moment? Definitely nae.”

“Please?” she whispered.

He rolled his eyes and sighed again. “Oh, verra well, love. You are a difficult woman to please. I wonder if you realize it. I will humor you. What should I look for this time?”

“Your guards.”

“Where?”

He was grinning now.

Constant narrowed her eyes. “Everywhere!” she hissed.

“Well, I was trying to ignore the situation, but if you insist on my noticing how many men callers you are entertaining, who am I to argue? Which man must I challenge first?”

“Kam!”

“What now?”

“They aren’t here for me and you know it.”

“They’re here for me?” His eyebrows rose as well as his voice. “You certain?”

“Kameron, please don’t do this. You’re making it worse.”

“Impossible, my love. You only need to see the humor of the situation.”

“There is nothing humorous about it.”

“I disagree. I happen to think it verra amusing. You recollect the rug-seller parable I told you of in the loft?”

“What?”

“I have to admit, you certainly put it to use, Constant, love. You make me proud.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You, of course. Look about you. What do you see?”

“I see your guards, Kameron. You know I do.”

“My point exactly. You certainly came at a very high price, and I gladly pay it. I doona’ want you to think otherwise. Do you ken of any other husband that is arrested for visiting his wife’s bed? Well?”

“Kam!” She was shocked. It sounded in her voice.

“I did warn you of my bluntness, dinna’ I? If na’, consider it done. Apologies. As I was saying, most husbands have to be forced
into
their conjugal bed. See there, Constant? I’m forced from it. Verra humorous. It makes all the difference, too.”

“Kameron,” she repeated.

He sighed hugely. “Verra well, Constant, love. I will try na’ to see the humor of the situation. Is that what you want me to say?”

“Would you please be serious?”

“All right, but if you insist on looking at the world with perfect seriousness, my love, at least give me the right to complain.”

“I don’t think your guards find you amusing, either,” she answered.

“Them? They’re used to me by now. Are na’ you, lads?”

Constant flicked her glance to the row of men and glimpsed more than a few curved lips among them.

“I am embarrassingly inept,” Kam said. “Just look. I almost get hanged because I canna’ manage to avoid a bunch of provincials with pitchforks, and now I canna’ even evade Ballanclaire men in the height of a storm. I should never take it up as an occupation. Remind me of that, will you, love?”

“Take what up?” she asked.

“Escape.” He said the word with a hint of drama. “I used to think I was an ace spy. Covert was my creed. Now that I’ve demonstrated how poorly I’ve done, it’s worse than embarrassing. It’s downright criminal.”

He tipped his head down and put his nose against hers. Constant felt the flare in her heart, accompanied by the blush at having so many observers.

One of the men about them cleared his throat. Kameron lifted his head but didn’t move his gaze from hers. A look of agony pierced him before it fled, leaving such uncertainty on his features, Constant wondered why.

“Why do I feel as if this is the last time I’ll see you?” he whispered.

Constant’s eyes filled with tears, at his tone more than the words. She couldn’t help it. She shook her head.

“You deny it and yet I canna’ shake it. You will na’ leave me, will you?”

“No,” she replied.

“Promise me, love. Promise on all you hold holy.”

“I promise,” she answered. Kameron scrunched his eyes shut and she felt the shudder flow over him as he held her, his arms almost too tight to get her next breath.

“We’d best be leaving, my lord.”

One of the men stepped forward. Kameron’s arms and features relaxed, he opened his eyes, blinked away a film of moisture, and looked over her head.

“What will a few more minutes matter?” he asked in a rough tone.

“We’ve been away from our posts too long already. We’ll be missed.”

“So?” he snapped.

“We doona’ want that to happen.”

“Why na’?” he snapped again.

“Well . . .”

Constant heard the sound of the man clearing his throat again. She didn’t move her eyes off her contemplation of Kameron’s chin.

“We came to a bit of a decision after you rowed yourself to this ship, Your Lordship.”

“You watched me row myself, and consequently, almost drown? You
watched
?”

Constant could see and feel the reaction in him. Every muscle tightened and a nerve twitched in his jaw.

“We followed you.”

“To every ship?” Kam asked.

“Aye, my lord.”

“I am truly pathetic at escaping. Adjust your reminder to that, Constant. Embarrassingly inept and pathetic. That’s me.”

“You have been under observation by at least six of us every waking moment, my lord. The duke ordered it. You could na’ have evaded us.”

“If that is supposed to make me feel better, you should save your breath and go back to being silent. In fact, I think I would like you better.”

The guard who was speaking didn’t hesitate to ignore that request. “We dinna’ interfere for a reason, Your Lordship. We thought it verra brave of you, especially the third time. That sort of thing deserves some sort of reward. If we had interfered, you would na’ have gained it.”

“Gained what?”

“Your reward. We came to an agreement on what it would be. You went through so much to spend some time with your wife. We agreed to allow it and na’ interfere. We canna’ tarry much longer, though. We’ll be found out.”

“Why was it brave the third time?” Constant asked, turning her head finally to look over at the speaker.

“It was into the wind, my lady. He looked close to swamping the dinghy more than once. We almost had to mount a rescue.”

“Oh, Kameron.” She turned back to him, blinking rapidly. “Why did you do something so foolish?”

He looked down at her, and the light favored her for an instant with a glimpse of his warm, golden-brown eyes, before it moved away.

“You need ask?”

That answer got him what could only be sounds of amusement from the men lining the hall. Constant didn’t move her eyes from his.

“Begging your pardon, my lord, but we need to leave. Now.”

“Oh, verra well. I must look to my blessings, I suppose. At least I doona’ have to row myself back. That thought has merit.”

Kam bent to touch his lips to hers in a kiss stained with gentleness. She lost sight of every bit of reality: the storm, the plethora of guards, the damp chill of his clothing against her. She lost herself in a feeling of absolute bliss for an encapsulated instant of time. From behind closed eyes, she could swear she witnessed nirvana opening up before her, wrapping her with a glow of warmth, golden brown in color, and imbued with nothing but adoration and love.

Then, it was gone. Kameron lifted his head, filled her vision with the same dazed expression she could feel on her own face, and then he turned to the guard who had spoken.

“Lachlan, is it?”

“Yes, my lord.”

“Remind me to double your wages when I’m duke. That goes for all of you. And, Constant?” He turned to her and she was surprised to find herself on the threshold of her chamber. She hadn’t felt him move. He put his mouth to her ear and started whispering. She knew why. The guards had proved themselves to be human; they hadn’t proved themselves loyal. “Farewell for now, love. Look for me in two weeks. A fortnight. You ken? If I have to fake my own death and return to the colonies and take up farming, I will.”

“You’d give up a . . . dukedom?”

“You doona’ listen verra well, do you? I already told you life is hell without you. Trust me. It is.”

He stepped back from her into the hall, and then he shut the door. Constant didn’t move for long moments, and then she raced to her bed.

 

 

A boom woke her, shuddering through the cabin. Constant clasped both hands to her throat, holding the robe tight as the sound came again. This time, the entire bedstead resonated with it, trembling until the noise faded.

Lucilla’s door opened slowly. The maid hadn’t undressed to sleep. She tossed her hands in the air when she saw Constant. “
Madre de Dios!
I slept! I am a fool! Quickly,
señora
! Quickly! We haven’t much time. We will leave the trunk. Hurry!”

Constant frowned as Lucilla came closer, moving in awkward sliding steps, swinging her arms as she went.

“Quickly! Do not sit there looking at me like I’m stewed! Up! Grab a cloak. The ship . . . she is sinking! Hurry!”

The ship is sinking?
For the span of a heartbeat Constant considered. She wouldn’t have to toss herself into the waves after all. All she had to do was close her eyes and . . .

That’s when she knew she couldn’t do it. She should’ve known love was too strong to fight. Constant slid to the edge of the bed and stepped into ice-cold water, gasping at the shock. Lucilla held a cloak out to her and tossed it over her shoulders before she started pushing on Constant’s back. It took both of them to open the door, because a wall of water blocked it on the other side. Constant followed Lucilla into the corridor as the water reached her waist. Then they were pulling themselves straight up the steps, hand-over-hand, as the water buoyed them.

They didn’t waste time with speech. It wouldn’t be heard above the roaring sound of the rushing water. As the ship listed, the hall door now opened upward. She helped Lucilla try to open it, but no amount of pushing seemed to budge it.

“Help!”

While Lucilla pounded on the door, Constant held the door handle with both hands and straddled what had once been a stair railing underneath her. The water was now swirling about her hips.

“Help!”

“That isn’t . . . doing . . . any good,” Constant panted. Then she shrieked as the door lurched up, pulling her up with it, ripping her out of her cloak.

“Thank heavens! Hurry! You were a fool, Lucilla! Another minute and we would not have time! Quickly!”

It was Barrister MacVale. He was stronger than he looked as he yanked Constant from the door and tossed her to another man, who then raced to the ship’s side and tossed her over into a small boat.

Their skiff was bobbing and weaving, pelted with rain. Constant slammed against a seat, careened along the side, and came to rest beside the sturdy lower leg of an oarsman. He didn’t look familiar, but it didn’t matter. She clung to him with hands slickened with fear and slippery with water.

“All here now! Hurry! Get away from the ship! The suction as she sinks will take us all with it! Row!”

It was impossible to decipher who shouted the command, but the oarsman she held on to wasn’t waiting another moment. Constant felt urgency transfer through his body as he strained, first forward, then back. She didn’t see Lucilla. She was afraid to lift her head.

The onslaught of rain stole her breath, blurred her vision, and stung her flesh with icy pellets.
Kameron had rowed himself in this?
Awe stained the memory, warming her for a moment. But not for long.

The boat was awash. Constant lost feeling in her backside and lower legs. She lost feeling in her hands, then her arms, and then her fingers. And still the sleet hammered at her.

The man rowed for what seemed like hours. Constant stopped counting the times his leg shifted back and forth after she reached two thousand. Still he rowed, the sea sloshing water into the skiff, freezing Constant in place.

Finally the boat bumped against something solid. She sensed rather than heard the collective sigh of relief. Someone helped her move from the spot, although they had to wrench her arms open to free the oarsman’s leg. Constant didn’t know who helped her—it was too dark to tell, and whenever she looked up, sleet stung at her face.