Lady Silence (19 page)

“
You may wait for me in the library,
Snow,” the earl said.

“
But I must explain—”

“
Out! Have the grace to allow my mother
to recover from the shock you have given her.”

If you had prepared her, the poor dear lady
would not be suffering so!

“
The library, Snow.”

Without a last look at the countess, whose
anguish she could not bear to see, Katy left.

The library was not empty.
The beast!
He had sent her here
quite deliberately, casting her into the den of iniquity. For Major
Foxbourne and Captain Thayne had bounded to their feet the moment
she entered, standing parade-ground stiff, faces frozen in masks of
red, as if they were being strangled by their cravats.

“
Miss Snow,” Foxbourne croaked, “I
offer my most sincere and humble apologies. Even too many years of
war are no excuse for my behavior.”

“
I offer my apologies as well,” said
Captain Thayne. “It was a moment of insanity. I pray you will be
able to put it from your mind.”

There they were, the swine—two officers
and gentlemen who had not hesitated to attempt to entice her into
the life of a high-paid whore. But
why
? Although she had just met them, Katy
suspected their behavior was out of character, for bounders would
never be numbered among close friends of Colonel Damon
Farr.

I am aware of my guilt in
this
. Damon’s words echoed in her head. If he admitted
guilt in so serious a crime as molesting her, how could he possibly
blame her for a much lesser offense?

The officers still stood, red-faced,
stiff as pokers. “Tell, me
gentlemen
”—could she help it if the word came
out a bit askew?—“did the earl use you to test me? To see if I were
susceptible to such a heinous offer?”

“
Oh, no!” the two men protested, nearly
in unison. The colonel’s officers were nothing, if not
loyal.

“
The sad result of a drunken evening,
miss,” said Captain Thayne. “Thought you was such a beauty, don’t
you know—shame to see you hidden here in the country.”

“
Just a bit of flirtation, a hint in
your ear,” said Major Foxbourne. “That’s all we intended. No sense
why a female with your–ah–qualities shouldn’t try to better
herself.”

“
Better myself? A strange way of
putting it, is it not, major?”

“
Strange indeed,” said the earl, who
had entered the library in time to hear Katy’s remark. “Let us
declare an end to this,” he continued briskly. “Our guests will
leave us now, and when we meet again, the matter will be
forgotten.”

With brief, frozen-faced nods to their
colonel and to Katy, the two military gentlemen marched out of the
room.

“
The matter was rape,” Katy pronounced
through gritted teeth.

“
Not quite.”

“
Close enough.”

“
Attempting to distract me from your
own guilt?” Damon inquired, soft and insinuating.

“
Stating a fact.”

“
They are my friends,” declared the
earl, his stance as uncompromising as Katy’s own. “Comrades through
horrors you cannot even imagine. What happened was the result of
the drunken ravings of three old soldiers who have not yet shut the
war out of their lives. As angry as Foxbourne was when you hit him,
he tells me he would not have gone through with it.”

“
Ha! The captain kept him from it . . .
until you rescued me.” Which he most certainly had. She had to give
him credit for that.

“
Then Fox must live with his guilt. As
must you, for now you know what an anomalous situation you have
created by avoiding your proper place in the world. Whatever that
place may be. By being Miss Nobody from Nowhere you invited amorous
attention, importunate suggestions—”

“
It is not my fault! Never say it is my
fault!” She had promised herself she would be accommodating,
swallow her hurt, her outrage. As always—anything to secure her
position. And now, look at her, fighting tooth and nail against her
own best interests, when she should keep her tongue between her
teeth, as she had for so long.

“
You are a deceiver, Katy Snow. You
betrayed our trust. I will not sacrifice years of friendship with
my officers for an arrogant adventuress.”

“
I was twelve years old!”

“
And could have revealed your secret
any time these past many years.”

Katy collapsed into the nearest chair, her
legs less steady than her courage. “I dared not chance it. As long
as everyone assumed I was a poor wounded creature ejected from the
nest, I was safe. No one would force me to reveal myself. But if it
were discovered I was . . . normal, I might have been sent
back.”

“
Back where?”

Katy shook her head. “I can’t go back, truly
I cannot.”

“
The Hardcastles?”

“
You must believe me!
I cannot go back
.” Katy drew a
shuddering breath. “If your mama could be prevailed upon to write a
character . . . If you would but let me stay until I find another
position . . .”

“
Recommend a liar? I think
not.”

“
Damon?” Katy stretched out a hand,
returning it abruptly to her lap as she realized what she had let
slip. Dear God, he would know she thought of him by his Christian
name.

Silence stretched, the yawning chasm between
them widening with every second. Or so she assumed.

“
I am sending you back to Farr Park,”
the earl said at last. “My mother and I will be situated here for
some time. When we have time between settling my brother’s affairs
and fixing Drucilla in her new home, we will discuss what is to be
done with you. Meanwhile, you may return home in disgrace, to make
your deception known to your doting admirers among my staff. I
fear, however, they may be as displeased by your duplicity as are
my mother and myself.”

Hands behind his back, brows lowered over his
piercing dark eyes, the earl scowled at her. And, inwardly, at
himself. Whatever her duplicity deserved, it had not been the
treatment foisted on her by his own lapse into idiocy. He led, his
officers followed.

Betrayal was a double-edged blade, slicing at
them both. With results far worse than intended and repercussions
that shamed them all.

With his luck, the little minx would turn out
to be a royal by-blow or, worse yet, the long-lost legitimate
daughter of a duke. Certainly, she was arrogant enough.

Devil a bit!
Excuses weren’t necessary. He could not very well cast her
out into the street, no matter how appalling her long masquerade.
She was, after all, Katy Snow.

His
Katy.

Though, damn and blast, that could not,
of course, be her real name.
Miserable
chit!

“
That is all, Snow. You may go. Begin
packing immediately. I shall order the carriage for an hour hence.
You will be back in Farr Park tonight.”

~ * ~

It was gone nine o’clock and long since
dark when Katy’s coach pulled up at the service entrance to Farr
Park. At the now infamous kitchen door by which she had first
arrived. Katy thanked the coachman—an old acquaintance who would
spend the night in his own bed above the stables before returning
to Castle Moretaine. He had not been as shocked as she’d expected
when she spoke to him. In fact, she thought she caught a sly
twinkle in his eyes, as if he rather found the trick she had played
on the family more amusing than outrageous. Katy could almost hear
him thinking,
Put one over on ’em, she
did. Clever girl.

It gave her hope. If only the others at Farr
Park might feel the same. Katy stared at the solid oak door,
flanked by windows glowing softly with light, just as they had so
long ago. She had asked the coachman to bring her to the kitchen
entrance. Why, she wasn’t certain. Easier on the servants—fewer
footsteps than the long trek to the front door?

Less pretentious? A suitably humble
homecoming for a wandering waif?

Tonight, it was snowing only in her
heart.

The Moretaine footman, who had accompanied
them, brought up her portmanteau, rapped sharply on the door. The
snick of a bolt . . . memory threatened to overwhelm her. Once
again, she had returned a beggar. But this time, she feared, she
would not find acceptance. Farr Park, no longer a refuge, was
likely to become a house of torture.

The door swung open, revealing the rotund
outline of Betty Huggins, the cook.

“
Katy! Child, it
is
you, is it not? And pray tell, what have you
done with the master and the countess? Never say they sent you
round to the kitchen while they’re waiting at the front! Well,
don’t just stand there, child, come in, come in. Mrs. Tyner! Mr.
Mapes!” Cook bawled at the top of her lungs. “Come see what’s at
the kitchen door again.”

The years flooded back, drowning Katy
in memories. Words stuck in her throat
.
Not tonight
. She could not reveal her secret tonight.
She needed a few final moments of having them fuss over her, care
for her.

Love her.

Katy stepped into the flagstone-tiled
kitchen, where warmth enveloped her. The scent of ginger and
vanilla, fresh bread, mutton, drying herbs, and exotic
spices.
Home
. Her place of
safety.

The footman plunked down her portmanteau.
Katy touched his arm, managed a smile of thanks. She did not
speak.

“
Dear child!” cried Millicent Tyner,
dashing in from her room just down the hall. “Have you come alone
then? What is wrong?” The housekeeper glanced at Cook, then turned
to Humphrey Mapes, who had entered the kitchen a few steps behind
her. “Something has happened, I know it. Else they would not have
sent her back all alone. You, boy,” she called to the potboy who
slept in an alcove off the kitchen, “fetch paper and pen from my
office. We must discover what has happened.”

“
It’s the colonel,” Cook declared
stoutly. “Must be. Was he after you, Katy girl?”

“
Earl,” Mapes corrected, but his heart
wasn’t in it, for he very much feared Cook might be
right.

“
Merciful heavens!” said Mrs. Tyner,
“can that be it? Has her ladyship sent you home to keep you out of
his clutches? The vile wretch. And such a fine little boy he was.
Fair breaks my heart.”

Vehemently, Katy shook her head.
No, no, no
, she could not allow them
to think—

“
Deny it all you want,” said Cook,
“anybody could see you had an eye for him, but protect him you’ll
not. The truth will out,” she added with a dramatic
flourish.

The potboy plunked paper, quill and
inkpot onto the long kitchen table. Katy found herself hustled
across the room and into a chair.
A few
more hours, a few more minutes
—that’s all she
asked.

But it was not to be. The long masquerade was
truly over.

Katy folded her hands on top of the paper,
bowed her head.

“
You’ll not remain mum about this,
child,” Mapes declared with a hint of sternness. “We must know why
you have been sent home.”

“
Katy, dear,” added Mrs. Tyner, “you
know we wish only to protect you. We must know the
truth.”

Worse and worse.

Slowly, Katy removed her bonnet, inched
off her gloves. Farr Park’s primary staff, sensing a drama, if not
understanding its cause, remained silent. Waiting. Katy shoved
paper, inkstand, and quill, to the center of the table. The whoosh
of three shocked breaths—Mrs. Tyner, Mapes, and Cook—echoed through
the kitchen. She was
refusing
to answer?

“
I don’t need them, you see,” Katy said
quietly and evenly, “for I can talk quite well. That is why I was
sent home. I am in disgrace.”

Chairs scraped on stone as Katy’s three
mentors, legs turned to jelly, groped for places to sit.

“’
Tis a miracle, then,” breathed a
wide-eyed Betty Huggins.

“
I am afraid not,” Katy told her sadly.
“I could always talk, you see, but everywhere I went, I was sent
away because I spoke too well. I was desperate . . . and I liked it
here. You were all so kind. I never, ever wanted to leave . . . so
I lived the lie, knowing so much as a single word would put me back
out on the street. I am sorry—truly sorry—for deceiving you . . .
but I am not sorry for all the wonderful years I had here. You may
think me a liar and a cheat, but knowing you all, being part of
this household, was worth whatever I must suffer now. Without Farr
Park, I am convinced I should be dead.”

“
Oh, my poor dear child.” Mrs. Tyner
heaved a drawn-out sigh.

Betty Huggins sobbed out loud, her mounded
bosom heaving.

“
This is serious, Snow,” Mapes intoned.
“Did the earl say what we are to do with you?”

“
No. Merely that I am to stay here
until his return.”

“
Are you confined to the house? To your
room?”