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Authors: L. Divine

BOOK: Lady J
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“I like your critique of Ms. Woolf's voice,” Mrs. Malone says after class, propping herself up onto the desk in front of mine, displaying her cream and turquoise moccasins. She looks like she just stepped out of a New Mexico tourist brochure. “You just need a more solid argument,” she says, handing me a paper heavily marked in red. Damn, that means hella work on my end.
“It doesn't look like you liked much about it,” I say, flipping each of the five pages, revealing more red ink as I continue to flip. It looks like she bled all over it.
“Jayd, all of these notes aren't bad. Don't always expect the worst,” she says, leaning over and turning to the third page. “Take for example this page. I wrote a paragraph explaining how this is where your actual thesis begins, instead of on page one, which is where it belongs. This is your rough draft, Jayd. Turn in the final one to me by Friday,” she says, closing the paper and placing it on the desk in front of me. “I've seen you do much better. But you've seemed a little distracted lately. Everything okay at home?”
“Yes, everything's fine,” I say, looking at her wall clock, ready to roll. There are only five more minutes left in break and I really could use a Snickers right now. Mrs. Malone's always looking to have an after-school-special type of conversation with me. She's cool, but I'd never tell her all of my business. Mama would hang me where I stand if I ever told any of my teachers about my home life. I learned that lesson very early on when I was in elementary school: whether it's dirty or clean, we never air our laundry in public.
“Is everything okay with Jeremy?” she says, like we're a couple of old girlfriends having tea. Ah, hell nah, let me nip this one in the bud right now before she pulls out a box of tissues.
“Jeremy's no longer my concern,” I say, rising from my seat, wounded report in hand. “I'll have the paper back to you by Friday and thank you again for giving me a chance to rewrite it.” I say, marching toward the door. Damn, there's the first bell. Now I'm going to have to go to third period without my chocolate fix. I really hope everything's cool with both Jeremy and Tania. Any more irritation and I'm liable to bite someone's head off.
“Jayd, if you ever need to talk, I'm here. I know breaking up seems like the end of the world, but it's only high school,” she says, whimsically dismissing my feelings as a schoolgirl crush. Even with Rah winning the battle for my heart, I still feel for Jeremy.
“Thank you, Mrs. Malone,” I say, as I walk toward third period. Right now I just feel like my feelings are out of control, like they're marching to their own beat and I'm a passenger along for the ride.
“
The key is to be in alignment with your feelings in order to control the situation
,” my mom says, sounding more like Mama than herself, as she invades my thoughts.
“Not at school,” I say aloud to my mom as she coquettishly grins in my head. She's having too much fun with her born-again powers. But I know she's right. I have to get my mojo back, and fast.
When I walk into Mrs. Peterson's class, Tania and Jeremy aren't there yet. At least they won't be able to catch me off guard. Now I have a moment to prepare myself.
“Hey Jayd,” Jeremy says, walking into our class right as the bell rings and taking the seat next to me, as usual. I guess some things haven't changed.
“Hey,” I say, unable to muster up a different greeting. I'm still so upset with him for not claiming his and Tania's baby, because he's afraid of his dad disowning him, but I also feel guilty, because it was an easy way for me to be free to explore something new with Rah. But Jeremy doesn't have to know all that.
“Good morning, class,” Mrs. Peterson says, barely looking up from her desk. “Your assignment's on the board. Your quiz will be during the last fifteen minutes of the period. If you must talk, make it quiet, please.” Before returning to her newspaper, Mrs. Peterson looks up at the opening door, ready to attack whoever's walking into her arena late. “Thank you for joining us this morning,” she says, hella salty to a tardy Tania.
“Well, it's the least I can do, considering it's my last morning at South Bay,” Tania says, sliding an envelope across the teacher's desk, as giddy as ever. She turns around to wink at Jeremy, then gives me a sly look before walking to the back of the classroom where her followers are seated. She collects money from some classmates while Mrs. Peterson signs her release papers. I know this trick didn't place a bet on me and Jeremy.
“Jeremy,” she says, leaning across my desk, directly in striking distance. If I were a crocodile, she'd be underwater by now. “It's been real,” she says, blowing him a kiss as she cuts her eyes at me. “So sorry the two of you didn't work out,” she says, showing off her fifty dollar bill and blinged-out engagement ring before walking back to the teacher's desk. The broad's lucky she's pregnant. Otherwise, whipping her ass might be worth the automatic suspension from school.
“What a bitch,” Jeremy says under his breath, but loud enough to make the students around us giggle. Well, at least Jeremy and I are in agreement about something. Too bad I can't agree with Jeremy accepting that his father will only allow his sons to bring home white babies. Lucky for Tania, her parents hooked her up with a fiancé in New York who also happens to be rich. What a life.
“Yeah, I think our breakup is worth a whole lot more. At least a c-note,” I say, breaking the iceberg that's between us. I would love it if we could still be friends. I genuinely like the cat, and love vibing with him, whether we can kiss or not.
“I agree. At least a hundred. I wish they'd let me in on the bet. I could have made a killing,” he says, taking his books out of his backpack and turning to our assignment. With Tania's grand exit over, it's back to work in Government class.
“I hear you. What would you have wagered?” I ask, copying the notes from the board into my notebook. I miss the easy exchanges with Jeremy. We seemed to lose our spark amid all of the relationship baggage. It's nice to be on the path to friendship again, even if it's slightly awkward. Like Mama says, time heals all wounds or makes you forget what you were fighting about in the first place.
“A million dollars,” he says, looking as serious as a heart attack and surprising me, much like Nigel did earlier. “I would've bet that much that we'd stay together, if the situation and timing were different.” I now realize Jeremy feels as bad as I do about us breaking up. The difference between us is that he has no one to catch his rebound. My phone vibrates with another message from Rah, making me blush. Damn, this sucks. Now I really feel uncomfortable.
“Quiet please,” Mrs. Peterson says, ending the heat for now. I hope Jeremy and I can really be friends, even if he does find out about me and Rah. But, for now, I just pray that we can all chill for a minute before crashing head on into each other.
2
Who Got Next?
“All the boys keep jocking, they chase me after school/ What you know 'bout me?”
—LIL' MAMA
 
 
I
've been thinking about Jeremy's comment since third period, and Lord knows I didn't need any more distractions to keep me from concentrating in my math class. I'm just glad that's over and I can get a break at lunch. I wish I could spend lunch alone or in Ms. Toni's office, but here comes one of my girls. Now there's no way to duck for cover.
“Hey Jayd,” Nellie says as I put my books into my locker. “How's our champion academic?” she says, putting her arm around my shoulder as I close my locker and walk with her toward the main quad. I guess we're chilling in South Central today. Otherwise we'd be headed in the opposite direction.
“Don't try and butter me up, because you know I can't save you from Mickey. Where's your boy toy?” I say, referring to Chance. I hope she's not using him out of convenience. But, just like with Mickey and Nigel, I'm going to try and stay out of their relationship as much as I possibly can. What I do on the side to influence the relationship is my own business and usually for everyone's benefit. But, other than that, I want no part of it.
“Chance is catching up with his boys. He said he'd meet us in South Central when he's done. Nigel and Mickey are already in the lunch line. Come on,” Nellie says, rushing me through the packed hall and out of the double doors. The bright sun hits my face, forcing me to squint as we make our way through the lively crowd. It seems like everyone of the nearly two thousand students decided to stay on campus for lunch today. I wonder if Jeremy's one of them. I already miss hanging off campus with him and his crew on the regular. I'm also going to miss him paying my way.
“I'm really not in the mood for a crowd right now,” I say. Nellie looks like a warrior queen as she charges through the medley of fair bodies in complete contrast to ours, focused on her goal. I wonder if she knows how powerful she really is, with or without her silly Homecoming crown.
“Jayd, cheer up. It's a nice day and Tania's last. Don't let these fools up here get you down.” Completely dismissing my wishes, she leads me to the cafeteria where half the student body is gathered.
“That's not what you were saying a few weeks ago when that picture of you was going around,” I say, reminding her of her desire to be an ostrich not too long ago. “I just want to hide right now, Nellie. You of all people should be able to understand that. And I'm not even that hungry.”
“Jayd, you have no reason to hide. And don't get salty with me, trying to bring up the past and all.” As we reach the lunch line, as usual Mickey and Nigel, the inseparable duo, are together and I notice KJ and Misty in line, too. I wonder who's paying? Noticing my gaze, KJ looks up from Misty's behind long enough to give me a sly smirk. I roll my eyes at him and his obnoxious attitude. What did I ever see in that punk?
“Hey y'all,” Mickey says, with Nigel nodding a “what's up” from the side of her neck where he's resting his head. These two make me slightly envious of having a relationship where public displays of affection are a constant requirement. KJ was too clingy, while Jeremy, wasn't affectionate enough. But Rah is right on point when it comes to making a girl feel wanted.
“Don't you two ever get tired of hanging all over each other? It's so uncouth,” Nellie says, sounding more like a proper old white lady than my homegirl from the CPT.
“Never,” Nigel says, turning Mickey's face toward his and giving her the biggest kiss I've witnessed in a long time.
“Okay, that's enough. Sorry I asked,” Nellie says, eyeing today's menu. “Jayd, want to split a veggie sandwich?”
“Sure,” I say. I can't resist Subway's veggies and cheese. It's the only thing they have that I like, except for their cookies. “No mayonnaise, and extra mustard on my side, por favor.”
“English, please,” Nellie says, sounding disgusted by my response. She's worse than Bush when it comes to hating on our Spanish-speaking homies. Maggie, my Latina homegirl who's also the queen of her crew, can't stand her, even if she did convince all of El Barrio to vote for our princess of color. But Nellie would never acknowledge the love and that's just fine with Maggie. She can't stand Nellie's bougie ass.
“Please,” I say, as salty as her comment was before. “Why are you such a tight ass? You know what I mean.”
“Yes, and you know how to speak English,” Nellie says, turning around to order our food. “We are in America now. Speak the language if you want to stay.” The Mexican lunch lady stops serving us and just stares at Nellie, ready to go off. If we were in Compton, I'm sure she would have given Nellie a mouthful of Spanish and then some. But we're in Redondo Beach, where the students have more power than the cafeteria staff. Instead, the lady cusses Nellie out with her eyes and I feel her one hundred percent.
“Nellie, sometimes you can be so rude,” I say, snatching my soda and bag of chips from her and walking away toward the lunch benches. I swear I'm embarrassed to be with Nellie and Mickey sometimes. It gets tiring being around ignorance, even if these are my girls.
“Why are you tripping now?” Nellie says, with Mickey and Nigel following right behind her. “I was just joking,” she says, taking a seat on the bench next to me and unwrapping our foot-long sub. “Besides, it's not like Spanish is your native tongue.”
“Well, neither is English,” I say, thinking back to my lessons about my great ancestor, Queen Califia. I'm not sure which West African tongue she spoke when she arrived in California, but I know it didn't sound a damn thing like what was already being spoken here. “Nellie, that argument isn't valid because none of us are originally from here. Besides, as much as you claim to be well-read, you should know that.” I miss having intellectual debates with Jeremy. Arguing isn't as frustrating when I feel like I'm learning something while getting my point across.
“What's got your panties all up in a bunch?” Nigel asks, sitting down on the bench across from us, right beside Mickey. They both have a cheeseburger meal, making my and Nellie's lunch look like rabbit's food. I look around me. It's kind of nice to see everyone outside hanging out. Some students are playing hacky sack or ballin', and others are just chilling and enjoying not being in class.
“Yeah, it sounds like you've got a chip on your shoulder, girl. I thought Rah was supposed to work that out for you,” Mickey says, kissing Nigel's neck before taking a sip of her drink. Nellie looks at them in disgust, but manages a smirk to signal her agreement with their sentiment.
“You're so nasty,” I say, reaching across and smacking her in the arm. “Everyone isn't appeased by physical stimulation.” Some couples forget about their issues when they touch, which is what Rah's hoping will happen with us. But he knows I'm not that easy.
“Well, maybe you should join our camp. It works,” Mickey says, giving her and Nigel a good chuckle. This is why I wanted to chill alone today. I'm just not in the mood. And I have to get to work on rewriting my English paper. As I plan my escape route in my head, Jeremy walks up with Chance, making me feel even more like getting away. What the hell is he doing in South Central anyway?
“What's up,” Chance says, greeting Nigel and the rest of us.
“What's up,” Jeremy says, following suit and greeting the group—but his eyes are focused on me. “How'd you do on our quiz?” he says, trying to make small talk. Before I can respond, Tania and her crew leave the cafeteria with a farewell committee of mass proportions behind them. I guess the Homecoming queen leaving the school is a pretty big deal in their world. It means that the runner-up actually gets to become queen for the rest of the year, so they perform some sort of ritual recrowning from the queen to the senior princess. But who cares? Besides the dance, there's nothing else for the queen to really do until next year.
“I'm glad the heffa's leaving,” Mickey says, loud enough for Tania and her crew to hear. But, because Mickey's of no consequence to them, they choose to ignore her.
“That makes three of us,” Jeremy says, still eyeing me. I wonder what he's thinking. He looks extra yummy today, wearing an olive green rip sun T-shirt with some faded cargo shorts and his classic Birkenstocks. His hair is pulled back in a bandana, showcasing his bright blue eyes and rugged bone structure. He should give up surfing and become a model, for real. Even as fine as Jeremy is, he still can't hold a candle to Rah's glow. It's like comparing Chris Brown to Nas. They both may come in nice packaging, but only one has everything I'm looking for in a dude.
“For real. We've got enough rich bitches taking up space in here. Don't you agree, Jayd?” Mickey's got that right. Misty's all the broad I can take. Tania was way too extra, just like Trecee. Now with them both out of the picture, maybe I can concentrate more on myself instead of on how to stay away from crazy girls. I've wasted enough time this school year with these dudes and their high-drama bitches.
“Yes, I do,” I say, taking a bite of my sandwich before following up with a mouthful of Doritos. The food goes so well together, unlike this scene. Everyone's paired up, except for me and Jeremy, but I don't think the pressure is as intense for him. I've had about all I can take for one day. I need space to breathe.
“I don't mind them being rich,” Nellie says, picking at her food. “It's just the bitch part that bothers me.” At least she's keeping it real. If Nellie had it her way, I know she'd be over there hanging with the rest of the royalty. I feel bad for my girl—her dream of winning the Homecoming crown came true, but ended up being a nightmare instead.
“I'm going to go to drama class early and study my lines,” I say, clumsily rewrapping my sandwich and stuffing my chips in the bag alongside it. “The auditions for the Fall Festival are coming up next week and I'm trying out for Lady Macbeth,” I say, knowing no one heard me. I pick up my soda and backpack, ready to walk down the hill when Tania heads my way. Shit, sometimes I'm too slow with my escapes. I need a refresher marathon of
The Bourne Identity
if I'm going to escape trouble at this school.
“Already missing me, Jeremy?” Tania says, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him on the cheek, while everyone watches, waiting for my response. Reid and Laura, the president and first lady of the Associated Student Body or ASB as we call it, are even on the sidelines watching the show.
“No, Tania, I'm not,” he says, taking her hands in his and forcing her off of him. How can he be so cold to his baby-mama, even if they aren't claiming each other? Dudes are a trip.
“Not even a little bit?” Tania says, backing off, but still flirting with her eyes. A rich slut is the worst kind. I bet she'd fit right in with Paris Hilton and her crew. Maybe she'll run into them while she's in the Big Apple.
“Could y'all take your soap opera somewhere else? We're trying to eat over here,” Mickey says, again catching Tania's eye. I don't even know what made Tania think she could come over to where Mickey was sitting and feel safe, especially after what went down at the Halloween dance a few days ago. I thought Mickey was going to kill Tania for attempting to plant a worm-infested apple in the cauldron for Nellie to bite into. Too bad Laura took the bait instead.
“No one's talking to you. And besides, it's a free country last I checked,” Tania snaps back. Now she's done it. Mickey puts the remainder of her burger in its container and wipes her hands and mouth on a napkin before slowly rising from her spot next to Nigel, who's smiling because he knows what's about to go down. Nothing's more amusing to guys than a chick fight.
“I don't care if the bitch is pregnant,” Mickey says, looking at Jeremy, but talking to no one in particular. “She's about to get her ass whipped once and for all, talking to me like she knows me. Your last day here's going to be the most memorable day of your life,” Mickey says, tossing her drink at Tania, who unwillingly catches it as red fruit punch splashes across her pink sundress, highlighting her flat chest. I hope the baby gives her some breasts.
“You—you—hoochie!” Tania shouts, as the crowd around our table gets bigger. I wish I could leave and head to class like nothing's happening. But Mickey's my girl and she wouldn't hate Tania so much if it weren't for Nellie and me. So, the least I can do is have her back. Noticing my discomfort, Chance comes over to me and stands by my side, with Nellie right behind him. It's nice to see him taking some initiative for a change.
“Is that right?” Mickey says, walking around the lunch bench, ready to charge. “Hoochie is as hoochie does, trick!” She lunges at Tania, grabbing her hair as Jeremy blocks her full attack.
“All right, break it up,” Jeremy says. Nigel pulls Mickey back as we watch the hectic scene in astonishment. I don't think anyone even heard the bell ring. The cafeteria locking up is my only indicator that it's time for us to go. I hope this is the last time I see Tania—forever.

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