Ladies of Deception 02 - Misleading Lord Martineau (8 page)

Felicity’s wrist was aching by the time Elliot finally slowed his pace. He had been dragging her along for what seemed like an eternity. Her cloak had come undone and was trailing behind her, the ties rubbing against her throat causing it to become irritated. She reached up to loosen the strings causing her cloak to fall to the ground before she had chance to catch it.

She reached up to rub some of the pain away from where the ties had been abrading her skin when she brushed her hand against the nick the knife had made on her neck. She gasped at the pain the contact with the injury had caused. The sound of her gasp made Elliot stop. He reached in his pocket and withdrew a handkerchief and began tenderly dabbing at the bleeding cut. He finished cleaning up the blood while neither of them uttered a single word. When he was done he bent his head and kissed the spot gently, as a mother would kiss a child’s wound to make everything all better. The tenderness of the moment took Felicity off guard. Before she had time to react he was pulling her once more down the street, though this time more gently, her cloak all but forgotten.

Elliot didn’t stop until he had reached his waiting carriage. He hefted Felicity inside effortlessly before hoisting himself up and sitting directly beside her. He reached up and tapped on the ceiling indicating his driver to take off.

Felicity turned to him, “Where are we going?”

“
Nowhere until we get some things settled between us once and for all. We can drive around London all day long for all I care, but I’m not letting you out until you’ve listened to me.”

Elliot looked down on her slender form and noticed she was shaking. “Are you cold?” he asked as he removed his jacket and placed it around her shoulders.

Truthfully, she wasn’t cold, she was frightened and anxious and shaking because she could see clearly what her fate would have been had Elliot not shown up when he had. “Why did you follow me?”

“
I didn’t know it was you, all I knew was that I saw a girl who was completely out of place walking towards the lower docks and I knew that was no place for a lady. I thank God that I had the sense to follow you.”

“
Me too, thank you.” She whispered with sincerity.

Elliot turned to her and grabbed both shoulders in his hands, trying to ignore the way his blood heated at any physical contact with her. He had been hoping that sheer will power alone combined with his attempts at blocking her from his mind would erase the effect she had on him, but apparently it wasn’t so.

“What were you thinking going down to the docks? What in heavens were you hoping to accomplish, besides getting yourself killed?”

Felicity looked away sheepishly. “It was foolish of me.”

“Of course it was,” he barked. “We’ve already established that. What I want to know is why. Why did you do it?”

Shaking her head she said, “The why’s not important,” she was much too embarrassed to admit to him why she had gone there that day. “Suffice it to say that I’ve learned my lesson and it won’t happen again.”

“No Felicity,” he urged. “It is important. I don’t think you understand the danger you so willingly put yourself in. I don’t think you understand how completely messed up I would be if something would’ve happened to you, if I hadn’t been there to help.”

His voice was thick with emotion as he spoke and she didn’t dare look into his eyes. “I said I’m sorry.”

“It’s not enough.”

That made her angry. She turned to him then, her chin tilted in defiance. “I’m a grown woman who doesn’t have to answer to anybody, not even you. I’ve admitted the foolishness of my actions and have apologized. Please instruct your driver to take me home.”

He leaned in close, his face a mere inches from hers and growled, “I’ve already told you that I’m not taking you anywhere until I get the answers I seek. I want to know what’s going on Felicity, why the façade? One day you suddenly disappear from my life and four years later return in the same abrupt matter, only this time you’re pretending to be someone you’re not. Why?”

“
You aren’t one to talk—you were pretty convincing in your little game four years ago,” she sneered.

Elliot reeled back. “What do you mean?”

“Pretending you were in love with me,” she spit out. “Pretending that you had planned to be with me forever, planned to marry me. All so you could get into my bed.”

Elliot looked as if he had been slapped. “That was not an act, none of it.”

“Sure. That’s why when my father found out about—when he found out that you had ruined me that you were so quick to make it right. So quick in fact that I never saw or heard from you again.” Her voice was dripping with anguish, her sorrow cutting him to the core.

Elliot was speechless. He had so many thoughts running through his head he could barely sort them out. He watched Felicity slide away and pull his jacket tightly around her before sliding her hands into the pockets, all the while avoiding having to look at him.

After a tense moment of silence she pulled her hand out of his pocket and held up a worn lavender ribbon, eyeing it curiously. “What is this?”

Elliot looked sheepish. “Remember that day we had a picnic at Kensington Gardens?”

“Yes.” She replied curtly, waiting for him to continue.

“
It fell out of your bonnet.”

She looked at him peculiarly, “This is my ribbon?” He only nodded. “Why do you have my ribbon in your pocket?”

He reached over and snagged the ribbon out of her hand and stuffed it furiously into his waistcoat pocket next to his pocket watch.

Seeing the discomfort the subject brought him she couldn’t help but pry. “Elliot, why do you have my ribbon?”

“Maybe I needed it to pull my hair back.” He said flippantly.

Felicity rolled her eyes. “Nonsense. Why do you have my ribbon?” she asked him once more.

He didn’t answer her at first, instead sitting there mulling his thoughts around in his mind. Finally he decided to be honest with her. “Because it’s the only thing I had of you. I’ve carried that ribbon around for four years because it’s all that I had left, the only thing I had to remind me that you really existed outside of my imagination.”

Felicity was oddly touched by his declaration but confused at the same time. Choking on a sob she asked, “Then why didn’t you come?”

Elliot’s heart wanted to break at the pitiful picture she made. Her face looked tormented and he realized she must feel as horrible as he did. He slid across the bench so he was sitting close enough to take her hands tentatively into his own. “Felicity I did come.”

He was staring into her face waiting for a reaction. Her eyes widened in disbelief as she shook her head back and forth, tentatively at first then more frantically as she spoke. “No, that’s not what my father told me.”

“What did he tell you?”

Felicity tugged her hands out of his and balled them into fists. “It’s irrelevant now. The past is in the past and there’s nothing we can do to change it. I guess we weren’t meant to be.”

“You don’t mean that. Is that really how you felt all those years ago? Is that how you felt that day in the cottage when we—”

Felicity flinched and held up one hand to cut him off, “Please don’t speak of that day.” Letting her hand fall limply back into her lap, she turned once more to gaze absently out the window.

Elliot watched her profile as she stared out the window avoiding his gaze. Still after all of these years apart, she was easily the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on, the only woman who had ever haunted his dreams and occupied his heart. Her delicate, fine boned features bordered on exotic. Her dark hair was in perfect contrast to her alabaster skin. Her almond shaped eyes were wide and framed with thick sooty lashes, her lips enticingly plump. The small mole under her bottom lip begged for attention and he longed to reach out and touch it, or better yet kiss it.

When she refused to look at him he slid awkwardly to the ground in front of her, clutching both of her hands intently as he maneuvered in front of her line of vision so she’d be forced to look at him. When he had her attention he said, “There’s something I’ve wanted to say to you for a long time—you are the only women I’ve ever loved. You stole my heart completely four years ago and you’ve never given it back. When you left, you took my heart with you and I’ve never been the same. I’ve waited and prayed and longed for you to be back in my life, to be by my side. Maybe we can’t change the past, but we can decide the future.”

Felicity looked long and hard into his ice blue eyes before laughing sardonically, “You’re a known womanizer, a rake. I’ve heard stories of the hundreds of women who—”

This time Elliot put up his hand to silence her, “Hundreds is being extremely liberal, I assure you.”

“Well than dozens, what does it matter?” she quipped.

“
I used them Felicity, I used every single one of them to try to dull your memory. But you know what? It didn’t work. You may not believe we are meant to be together but everything inside of me disagrees. I’ve been nothing but miserable since you left, not a day went by that I didn’t pine for you, my heart aching uncontrollably.” Felicity eyed him wearily as he continued, “What I couldn’t understand then and I still can’t comprehend now is why you left and refused to have anything to do with me, not even offering an explanation. Why didn’t you or your father ever answer my letters or accept my house calls?”

“
You wrote?” she asked in surprise.

Elliot was exasperated, “Of course I wrote, didn’t you receive any of my letters?” Before she could answer he continued, “Not only did I write but I paid multiple visits to your father’s townhouse just to be told that I was never to show my face at any of your family’s estates ever again. I believe one time Ramsey even forcefully removed me from your porch, causing quite a scene I assure you. How is it you’re completely unaware of my attempts?”

“My father told me that you wanted nothing to do with me.” Felicity said painfully. The memory of the day her father had informed her of Elliot’s disinterest had been one of the worst days of her life.

Elliot’s nostrils flared in anger, “That’s the furthest thing from the truth, you have to believe me. I came to your house two days after the Tennyson’s rout to ask your father for your hand in marriage, but I was turned away. I wrote your father multiple times declaring my intent and inquiring after you but he never responded. The last time I attempted to visit your father’s townhouse I was told that you were dead to me. I wasn’t sure what happened but I tried everything I could think of to locate you but I never came to a single conclusion as to where you were or why you left. All these years I’ve never understood why you left me, where you went.” He paused long enough to take a quick breath, “Where did you go?”

Felicity felt hope flare in her chest at his words. Was it true? Had he really not refused to have anything to do with her after he had compromised her that night in the cottage? She felt her heart begin to thaw towards him as she stared into his eyes, hoping with everything in her that she would see sincerity. As he stared back she felt her heart leap and she realized that part of her wanted to replace the hurt and sorrow she had carried around since his rejection with something else, something stronger that was beginning to poke through the layers of heartache and pain. She wanted so badly to trust him. She wanted desperately to believe that he wanted her as badly as she wanted him.

Her hand was shaking as she reached forward uncertainly to lay her palm against his face. She could feel the faintest hint of stubble on his cheek and the slight indentation of his dimple. Elliot seemed to melt into her touch, his eyes pleading for more from her to which she readily obliged. She flung both arms around his neck and pulled his head to her chest. His hands went up to the waist of her dress and knotted into the material, clingy furiously to her as if she was his very lifeline.

His breathing was heavy as he tried to stifle the emotions he was feeling. Being in her arms this way felt so right. He had longed for her touch more than he longed for air. Her arms felt like they were the only thing sustaining him right now and he was already scared at the emptiness he knew he’d feel once she let go. He clung to her more furiously as her own arms tightened around him pulling him as close as she could. His nose was pressed against the bare skin above her neckline and he hungrily breathed in her scent. She smelled exactly as he remembered her—jasmine mixed with her own warm musk.

“
Felicity,” he finally spoke, the movement of his lips tickling her bare skin, “I was making arrangements to sail to America this morning. If you won’t have me then I’ll be leaving in a fortnight. I can’t stay here and survive without you.”

Felicity pulled back and looked at him frenetically, “Elliot, please don’t place that burden upon me. Things aren’t that simple.”

Elliot looked up into Felicity’s emerald eyes, “What do you mean?” he asked, curious as to what her aversion would be. He felt even emptier than he had imagined once he was no longer in her arms and more than anything he wanted to pull her back to him and hold her until she agreed to become his wife.

“
Please take me home.”

“
Felicity, I told you I wasn’t taking you home until I get the answers I want and so far you’ve only managed to confuse me further.”

“
I know and I’m sorry but I want you to take me home so we can talk. There’s something I need to tell you.”

“
This carriage is completely private, tell me now,” he urged.

She looked down on him, her eyes pleading for understanding. “Please Elliot.”

Elliot got up from his kneeling position and took the seat opposite her. “Very well, but if you’re only going to attempt to push me out of your life again then I insist you tell me now.”

Felicity shook her head, “I’ll let you decide for yourself.”

Once he informed his driver of their destination, the drive to Piccadilly Street didn’t take long. Elliot eyed the familiar Pemberton townhouse with curiosity. Though it looked much the same as it had four years ago, he could see small indications of neglect such as the peeling paint on the door, the tarnished brass knocker, and the shrubbery out front that was brown and withering as if the gardener had been severely neglecting his duties.

He silently followed Felicity out of the carriage, indicating to his driver to wait for him. If the outside of the townhouse had been a shock to him, the inside was even worse. The first thing he noticed was that they weren’t greeted by Ramsey, or any butler for that matter. He was oddly relieved to not have to confront Ramsey again but an alarm went off in his head at the absence of common servants.

He looked around and noticed the dust that must have been accumulating for years. If the gardener had been remiss in his duties, the housekeeper had been downright negligent. The carpets were worn beyond what was fashionably acceptable and the décor hadn’t been updated in years. Felicity didn’t seem to notice anything was amiss as she showed him to the drawing room. As soon as he was seated on a faded blue settee, Felicity excused herself, promising she’d be back momentarily.

Elliot looked around the room and noted the dank smell indicating that it probably didn’t receive much use. It seemed as if his visit to the Pemberton house was only providing him with more questions than answers.

Before long Felicity came scurrying back into the room, quickly settling herself down on the opposite settee across from him, “Tea is being prepared and should be brought in shortly.” Elliot only nodded his head.

The pair sat in silence for what felt like forever before Aunt Agatha came shuffling in carrying a tray complete with tea service. Elliot looked up at her in surprise than turned to Felicity, “Is that your Aunt Agatha?”

Felicity’s face flushed, “Yes,” then turning to her Aunt she said, “Aunt Agatha, you remember Lord Martineau don’t you?”

Aunt Agatha eyed him shrewdly; her only response was to nod curtly in agreement. She quickly served the steaming tea before retreating abnormally fast for such an old lady.

As soon as she had left the room Elliot turned to Felicity, “What is going on here?”

Felicity tried to play coy, “What do you mean?”

“I think you know what I mean. Where are the servants, why didn’t they bring tea? Where’s your butler? And,” he leaned forward and swiped his finger across the table gathering a finger full of dust, “Why hasn’t the housekeeping staff been doing their job?”

Felicity was blushing furiously but Elliot only continued as he wiped the dusty finger off on his breeches. “Why isn’t your father seeing to these details? Surely if he isn’t pleased with his staff he ought to find replacements.”

Felicity set her tea down, the cup clinking gently against the saucer. “My father is dead.”

Elliot stiffened, “My apologies, I hadn’t heard.” He was reeling from her declaration. He had heard something of her mother’s passing several years back, but not one single word had ever been spoken to him of Lord Pemberton’s death.

“Don’t be sorry, he wasn’t a pleasant man, as you may remember, and I do not mourn his death.”

Of course Elliot knew he wasn’t a pleasant man but he was surprised to hear Felicity speak of her father so. “Surely he left you ample funds in his will to cover household expenses,” he said, trying to get her to confide in him of her dilemma.

Felicity felt her face burn at his questions. She wasn’t prepared to tell him everything about her current predicament. She had brought him to her house for one reason and one reason only and before she chickened out she knew she had to tell him. She reached over and pulled the bell pull signaling Aunt Agatha to return to the room. She had warned her Aunt why she had brought Elliot home and knew that she must’ve been waiting right outside the door when she re-entered within seconds.

“
Aunt Agatha would you please go get Edith?” Aunt Agatha merely nodded then left the room once more.

Elliot tried to search Felicity’s face for answers. Who was Edith and what was this all about? Before he had a chance to assault her with questions, Aunt Agatha returned with a small child clinging to her wrinkly hand.

Elliot glanced at the child then back at Felicity before returning his focus once more to the little girl. She was a beauty of a child with her raven hair hanging in loose curls to her shoulders, and round blue eyes that were wide and inquisitive. Was this Felicity’s child?

Felicity answered that question for him when she spoke. “Darling, come to mama, I have somebody I’d like you to meet.” Aunt Agatha let go of the girls hand so she could totter over to Felicity. She climbed up into Felicity’s lap and melted into her embrace before turning her attention to Elliot.

Felicity ran her hand over her daughter’s thick curls as she spoke, “Sweetheart, this is Lord Martineau. He’s a special, uh—friend of mine.”

“
It’s a pleasure to meet you poppet.” Elliot said, not able to take his eyes off the child.

The girl giggled, “My name’s not poppet, it’s Edith Margaret.”

Elliot managed to pull his eyes away from the child to look at Felicity with question. His mother’s name had been Margaret but maybe that was a mere coincidence. Before he could decipher anything from her gaze, Felicity quickly looked back down at the child, clearly avoiding his questioning look.

Edith managed to wiggle out of her mother’s arms and gingerly walked over to stand next to Elliot. She looked up at him with large ice blue eyes and said without candor, “Are you my papa?”

Elliot wasn’t sure if it was him or Felicity that gasped. His heart felt like it had been pricked. Was he this girl’s father? He eyed her more closely this time, and decided that her eyes could be the mirror image of his, eyes that he had inherited from his own father. His breathing was labored as he turned to Felicity, “How old is she?”

“
She just turned three the end of January.”

All of Elliot’s senses felt like they were reeling. His thoughts were rapidly racing through his head and he wasn’t sure he knew what to say. Her age was about right, she could easily be his. His thinking was interrupted by a tug to his coat sleeve. He looked down once more on Edith’s round face. “Are you my papa?” she asked him once more, determined to get an answer out of him.

His jaw clenched tightly before he answered. “I think you better ask your mama that.” Then both of them turned inquiring eyes on Felicity.

Felicity squirmed under Elliot’s piercing gaze, not sure how to read the look he was giving her. Did he know? Would he be mad at her for not telling him sooner? Now was the time to find out. Looking down at her daughter she said quietly, “Yes sweetheart, he is your papa.”

Though he had strong suspicions that he was looking at his child, hearing Felicity confirm it felt like a pierce to his heart. He looked from mother to child then child to mother, feeling as if his life had just been turned upside down. All of these years he had been mourning the loss of Felicity when he should’ve been mourning the loss of their daughter as well.
Their daughter.
He couldn’t quite believe it. The possibility of their producing a child the one time they had been intimate had never occurred to him, not once. He felt completely betrayed by Felicity for not telling him that he was a father, that they had a child.

His mind instantly went to all the scenarios that could’ve taken place in their absence—what if he had been able to move on and had married only to be confronted with an illegitimate child later on? What if Felicity had married and somebody else would have raised his daughter? Then he thought of her ruse as the widow of Lord Davenport and he had to know if there was any truth to it.

“Are you really Lord Davenport’s widow?”

Felicity looked confused, her eyebrows furrowing together as she answered, “No, I never married.”

Elliot was beyond relieved at that. The thought of sharing Felicity with another man had been bad enough but knowing now that he would have also been sharing his daughter was completely unacceptable to him. They were his family and the sudden surge of protectiveness for them both that welled up within him caught him off guard. In the last several minutes he had gone from being an orphan, a man without a single living relative that he was acquainted with to being a father.

Without thinking, Elliot bent over and scooped Edith into his arms. Her surprise at his actions was quickly overcome with delight as she snuggled close and began to giggle. Tears welled up in his eyes as he held onto the child, realizing how right she felt in his arms. There was so much he needed to discuss with Felicity but for right now all he wanted to do was to hold onto his precious daughter that was a result of his and Felicity’s love.

Felicity watched the two people in the world she loved the most hugging and she wanted to cry; cry for missed opportunities but also weep tears of joy at the rightness of the scene in front of her. Elliot’s strong arms were wrapped fiercely around Edith, his face snuggled into her mass of black curls. She could tell he was emotional by the way his jaw was twitching and his eyes that were blinking back unshed tears. She hadn’t been sure how he would react to the news that he was a father, but he seemed to be taking to Edith naturally and she seemed to love every minute of his attention.

Elliot reluctantly pulled back from Edith and said, “I’m glad I get to be your father, poppet,” He reached forward and tweaked her nose, “But your mother and I have some very important things we need to talk about. Can you go find Aunt Agatha so we can have some time to talk?”

Edith looked up at him in all her childlike innocence, both of her chubby hands frantically grabbing onto his. “Are you leaving me?”

Truthfully, he wasn’t sure what the future was going to hold between him and Felicity, but one thing he knew for certain was that he was never going to be absent from his child’s life again. “No, I’ll never leave you,” he promised her.

She smiled at him, “So you’re gonna live here now?”

Elliot reached up and raked one hand through his hair as he exhaled slowly. Before he had a chance to come up with an acceptable answer for her, Felicity interjected, “Sweetheart, there’s a lot of things that need discussed, I promise I’ll explain it to you later. Now please run along and see if Aunt Agatha has any of those lemon tarts left.”

The promise of a treat seemed to do the trick. Edith slid from Elliot’s lap and scampered out of the room, but not before stopping and turning to blow a kiss to her new papa before leaving.

The room felt devoid of life after Edith had gone. Though he had only known of her existence for less than a quarter hour, he found that she already occupied a tender spot in his heart. He was puzzled and intrigued by the instantaneous bond between parent and child.

His thoughts were weighing heavily on his mind as he and Felicity sat in utter silence, neither of them quite sure what to say. Finally his head wrapped around the one thought that kept prevailing in his mind. “Why didn’t you tell me we had a child?”