Knowing Me Knowing You (16 page)

‘
Joel said yes,
’
Kate repeated her announcement from earlier.

‘
Ah! Joel said yes
.
Y
es, how exciting
.
S
o what’s the strategy? What plans do you have to ensure you take the title of winners of
Knowing Me Knowing You
2011?
’
Hermione asked her.

‘
Well I haven’t actually
thought too much about that yet.
I had been working on my case to argue should he say no. But I thought that we probably need to know a bit more about each other at the very least
-
so I’ve invited him to dinner tomorrow night,
’
Kate informed.

Hermione exploded into a fit of laughter that vibrated the table and almost had Kate reaching for her ears.

‘
You can’t cook!
’
Hermione announced, laughing hard.

‘
I can.
’

‘
Microwaving things doesn’t count,
’
Hermione replied.

‘
I don’t microwave everything,
’
Kate answered offended.

‘
Well granted no, not salad. What’s on your menu for tonight then?
’

‘
I haven’t decided yet.
’

‘
Bet it comes in a little plastic tray with film to pierce.
’

‘
Those meals are quick, easy and nutritious.
’

‘
Those meals are full of hidden fats, salts and sugars.
’

‘
And they taste delicious when complemented with lots of white wine.
’

‘
Oh
Bethan
, wha
t are we going to do with your m
ummy? What are you planning to cook Joel then? I mean he isn’t going to want to go through all this for a piping hot on the outside
,
lukewarm in the middle cannelloni,
’
Hermione spoke.

‘
I don’t know, I have all day tomorrow to think about it.
’

‘
But you’ll need to go shopping to buy the ingredients
-
you need to decide on a recipe.
’

‘
Well I don’t know, may
be I shouldn’t have said dinner.
B
ut I thought it would be better to be at home, not seen in public so we don’t have to do any of the pretend kissing he does and I won’t try and shake hands with him which apparently is what I do.
’

‘
He kisses you, yum.
’

‘
Well come on, you’ve insulted my cooking abilities, what am I going to cook him for dinner? I so obviously need help.
’

‘
Toast,
’
Bethan
piped up, bouncing up and down on Kate’s knee excitedly.

Hermione let out another laugh and Kate couldn’t help but smile at her happy daughter.

‘
She might have hit the nail on the head there; toast might be your safest bet
.
W
ell done
Bethan
,
’
Hermione responded, clapping her hands.

‘
I’m not talking to you about it
any
more
,
’
Kate answered.

‘
Oh come on, let me help you. Now, I’m sure I have a really simple recipe for chicken here. That wasn’t meant to sound patronising by the way but it is foolproof,
’
Hermione insisted and she began to rifle through a pile of papers on her sideboard.

‘
I can cook, I have recipe books, I just haven’t used them for a while that’s all,
’
Kate replied grumpily.

‘
Ah, here we are, chicken in a chasseur style sauce. All you need is chicken, mushrooms, onions, a red pepper, a small amount of wine, some flour and some stock, here you go,
’
Hermione said, passing Kate a piece of paper.

‘
Thanks,
’
Kate answered, glancing at the before and after photos with little interest.

‘
And if you need any help during the cooking process you can always call me,
’
Hermione offered kindly.

‘
I’ll be fine,
’
Kate assured her with a smile.

As soon as she left Hermione’s house she rushed to the supermarket to pick up the ingredients for the chicken chasseur recipe.

Bethan
got distracted by the children’s magazines and started to scream every time Kate moved the trolley away from the section. Peace only reigned when Charlie and Lola was handed over to her. Screwed up recipe in hand Kate rushed around the shop,
Bethan
ripping the magazine to pieces
. She picked up
the ingredients as quickly as she could before it
started to
g
e
t too close to
bed time.
Then s
he got distracted by the wine section. Australian was a third off and there was a
three
for
ten pounds
offer on a selection of reds. Red wine wasn’t a favourite of hers but she didn’t know wh
at
Joel preferred. She should ask him, they might need to know for the contest and the more she knew about him the better.

She grabbed three reds and three whites, ran back to the
veg
section for an onion and headed for the checkout.
Bethan
had almost succeeded in ripping the magazine into tiny pieces and was now content poking bits of paper into her mouth.

‘
Beth! Don’t do that darling, you mustn’t eat it,
’
Kate ordered, trying to manhandle the paper from her hands and poking a finger in her daughter’s mouth to get rid of anything inside.

Bethan
began to scream and kick her feet against the trolley in temper. She made a grab for what was left of the magazine and screamed again as Kate quickly moved it out of her reach.

‘
Do you want some help with your packing?
’
Kirsty
the very young looking cashier asked.

Kate was very familiar with
Kirsty
because she always seemed to be on the checkout Kate chose. She had eight earrings in her left ear, bitten fingernails and was without a doubt having some sort of relationship with Wayne who worked behind the deli and always seemed to find an excuse to come over.

‘
Oh no thanks, we’ll be fine. Stop it
Bethan
!
’
Kate ordered, looking sternly at her daughter as she put her items on the conveyor belt.

Bethan
held her breath, waited until she had turned purple and then let out the scream of all screams. It was like the cry of someone who had just had their entire body deep-fried. Everyone turned to stare. Other mothers in the queue with seemingly angelic children in their trolleys waited with bated breath to se
e what she was going to do. OAP
s with slightly more sympathy on their
faces gave her a hopeful smile and two young men carrying four-packs of lager just smirked her way, looking youthful and smug.

‘
That will be
thirty five forty eight
please,
’
Kirsty
announced as
Bethan
continued to scream and Kate bagged her shopping up.

Kate handed
Kirsty
her debit card and shook a packet of pasta up and down to calm
Bethan
.

‘
When we get home
Bethy
we’ll get you in your pyjamas, get you some lovely warm milk and watch
Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom
,
’
Kate spoke softly.

‘
Could you enter your pin number?
’

‘
And when we’ve watched
Ben and Holly
Mummy will take you and Mr Crisps up to bed and we’ll read all about Tiger,
’
Kate said, tickling
Bethan’s
tummy as the scream turned into a meek whimper.

‘
Er
, have you got another card? This one’s been refused,
’
Kirsty
piped up in the loudest voice imaginable.

She could only have said it louder if she had yelled it into a loud hailer. Or she had morphed into
Lynn
.

Kate looked at
Kirsty
. She was holding her card out to her and chewing her gum up and down flashing her tongue stud.

‘
What?
’
Kate asked
not believing what she had heard.

‘
Card’s been declined, insufficient funds
.
H
ave you got another method of payment or shall I get someone to put the stuff back?
’
Kirsty
boomed like Brian Blessed.

‘
No, no, of course not
-
um, here,
’
Kate said as she hurriedly dived into her purse and pulled out her credit card.

The humiliation! She had
two hundred pounds
in the bank last night, what had gone out since then? She thought she had got the timings of direct debits sorted out now.  She entered the pin and held her breath waiting for confirmation of the transaction and the sound of
Kirsty’s
voice clarifying that all was well.

‘
That’s fine, remove your card now,
’
Kirsty
told her in almost a whisper.

Kate swiftly took the card out of the chip and pin machine and put it back in her purse. It felt as though everyone was looking at her.
Her, the useless single mother with no money in her bank account and a kid that screams blue murder.
A few months before she would have looked and
tutted
and thought herself superior. Not
any
more
.

When she got outside it was raining. She hurriedly pushed the trolley to the car, struggled to get
Bethan’s
legs untangled from the seat and literally threw her daughter into her car seat before she got too wet.

Bethan
grinned up at her, wet faced with a happy smile, still holding the remnants of the
Charlie and Lola
magazine.

Kate felt a shiver run over her. The magazine, she hadn’t paid for it.

She undid
Bethan
, put her over her shoulder and sprinted back into the shop as heavy rain began to soak them both. She ran up to
Kirsty’s
checkout, dripping water all over the conveyor belt and butting into the queue.

‘
I’m so
sorry,
I fo
rgot to pay for the magazine.
D
on’t worry I have cash and I’ve still
got
the barcode,
’
Kate announced and she offered
Kirsty
the smallest strip of paper from the front of the magazine containing the magic numbers.

‘
D’you
want
a bag for that?
’
Kirsty
enquired
.

The next night Kate stared at her cooker. She knew how to work the hob but she wasn’t really up to speed with the oven. She obviously knew how to turn it on and set the temperature but she wasn’t at all au fait with the timer or the various other settings she was sure Hermione probably used on an hourly basis.

It didn’t matter for the chasseur but she had bought garlic bread and it was frozen and she hadn’t known whether to defrost it or not before cooking. Garlic bread she had decided went with everything and even if Joel didn’t like it she could always
polish
it off herself.

And you couldn’t go wrong with a Sarah Lee chocolate gateau for pudding
.
W
ho didn’t like stuff made by Sarah Lee?