Know Me (Truthful Lies Trilogy - Book One) (8 page)

“
Very good, Mr. De Luca. Tough, though.
Lots of studying, then off-season training, keeping up my grades.
But the team is good, sir. That’s really what won us the bowl this
year.”

“
Modest, but we all know PSU ain’t got a
hope in hell of takin the trophy with
out ya. But I’m glad to hear you’re pushin on the
grades. You was always the smart one, not like these losers!” He
smiles and laughs. “You entering the draft? You’re eligible this
year, aren’t ya?”

“
Yes, sir. I’m eligible. But I’m not
entering. Football was always a means to an education for me. I
don’t wanna play pro.”

“
See what I mean, the smart one. Take a
seat, fellas. I’ll send Clarissa over to get
yours
’ orders. Who’s the attractive lady here
wichyoo
?”

“
That’s Declan’s new girlfriend,” says
Skate. “Least that’s what I think...”

Girlfriend?
I can’t say I don’t like the sound of
that.

Mr.
De Luca gives an approving smile, tips an imaginary hat.
“Pleasure to meet you, Miss...”

He stretches out his hand over the
counter. “Blaze, sir. Blaze Ryleigh.”

He gives me a warm smile and looks at me
and Declan a second. “Well, you look like you’ve been at it all
night as well. I recommend a
Tom Burger Deluxe
for a large appetite.”

After sitting and checking out the
menus,
“Clarissa” comes
over—a dark haired girl that reminds me of Kat Denning, only with
bigger boobs. She chews on gum and stands with her hip cocked.
“Skate. Boys.”

Declan: “Waddup, Clariss.”

Trevor: “Yo, Clarissa.”

Skate clears his throat, looks down at his
hands. Mumbles something which I guess is a greeting.

The
boys order up a feast (Huevos Rancheros, Spicy Chicken and
Cheese Omelet, extra Pancakes, extra bacon on the side). I end up
going with a salad, because I need some sleep before I put anything
in the burner or I might get sick. Declan orders a Vanilla Egg
Cream to drink. I take straight coffee and Trev and Skate go with
virgin Cherry-Lime Rickeys (
Tom’s
serves no alcohol.)

Turns out the coffee is free, and so are the
cookies we’re served while we wait for our meals.

“
Your set was kickin, Heaven-Leigh,” says
Skate.
Again
!

I look down at my coffee. “Uhm,
thanks.”

“
So why haven’t we heard of you yet? I
mean, you should be all over town.”

I twirl my cup. Trevor picks up on my
discomfort. “Skate, what’s up with the twenty questions? Leave the
girl be.”

“
No, it’s cool. Uhm, well, it’s real tough
getting your foot in the door. Tonight—
last
night—well, it was a lucky break.”

“
You mean that Uncle shit?” says
Declan.

“
You heard about that?” I ask.

“
Yeah, Randy told me.”

“
Yeah, well, sorry to hear what happened to
those dudes. But, you reap what you sow, y’know. How do you know
Randy?”

He hesitates. Trev answers for him.
“Declan here was a wild boy once—”

“
No I wasn’t.”

Trev leans forward, eyes bulging
playfully, “Yes you
was
.”

“
Trev and I,” says Declan, “used to play
this scene a fair amount back in the day. Anyways, I did more than
him. And, well, Randy’s a man about town, you know.” He whispers
quietly. “He’ll give drugs to anyone who’s taking them, just for
some good company. I guess it’s loneliness or
something.”

Loneliness
. The story of this scene.

“
Deck’s playing it down. Because Randy took
a real liking to him. It seems Deck here has a real good ear. I
wouldn’t know, he never listens to shit I tell him!”

Declan
cocks an incredulous eyebrow, looks at Trev. “Whatever.
Randy and I just had similar, uhm,
issues.
So,
we
were a mutual ear for each other I guess.” He turns to me now. “And
you? I mean, you must know him to have gotten the gig.”

“
No, uhm, Xavier. He and I... He’s an old
friend. I know him from back in the day when”—I look at the three
guys, realize I can talk openly to them—“back when I used to
roll.”

“
You don’t roll anymore?” asks
Skate.

I shake my head.

I feel that sadness approaching in the
distance, like black ink poured into a pool and spreading. I only
hope he doesn’t ask—

“
Why?”

The coffee has mellowed me out, so I don’t
feel as vulnerable about the subject as I did when Declan asked
about my tat earlier. But I don’t tell the complete truth. “Dunno,
just...enough was enough, you know?”

I sense Deck’s crystal eyes forcefully on
me, and I get the distinct impression that he knows I’m
BSing.

Our food arrives which, thankfully,
swerves the conversation from
me toward one of full mouths groaning orgasmically over how good
the bacon and Huevos are.

“
Xavier,” says Declan, “that’s that dealer
dude, right? The one who sticks his tongue down girls’ throats in
exchange for E?”

I clear my throat uncomfortably. “Yip,
that would be him.” I spin the coffee in my hands. I wouldn’t be
surprised if he thinks I was one of those girls.

Only, I wasn’t.
Not really. He and I go
so
much deeper than that...

Deck:
“He flashed his piece at me, just before I gave you a ride
home.”

“
The
Ruger
?”

“
Oh, you’re familiar with it...”

No, but one of my exes
is
. “Uhm, yeah, a
little. I mean, I don’t know if it’s the same gun these days.
Xavier and I haven’t spoken in a year.”

“
Was it a concealed carry? The one you saw
back when you hung out together.”

“
Concealed carry? I know Xavier had a
revolver called a
Ruger
, but
that’s as far as my knowledge of weapons goes.”

“
Small. Was it a small gun?” he
asks.

“
Yeah, tiny.”

“
Then it’s a concealed carry. It’s probably
the same one. Concealed Carry means it’s a real small gun so you
can hide it easily. Never mind that owning a gun legally in New
York for a dude like him would be damn near impossible—I doubt a
dealer would pass the background check. Anyway. Pushing dope’s also
illegal. Doesn’t seem to stop him either.”

“
I don’t agree with his lifestyle choices,
in case you’re wondering. We’re not even friends anymore.
Because
of those choices.”

“
Oh, I hear you. I wasn’t commenting on
your friendship. Just thinking out loud. I didn’t mean to put you
on the spot. It’s amazing how a dude can be rolling and still think
to pull out a piece. Anyway. I guess the ‘love’ is stronger for
some than others. But I saw him sniffing and wiping his nose a few
times. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was snorting up the Big C
along with the E, which would explain the aggression.”

When we’re done
eating, Trev’s eyes closing from exhaustion, he
says, “OK, peeps, Skate and I will take the train home.” Trev
smiles at me. Something tells me this hadn’t been the plan
before.

Skate says nothing. He’s down enough now
to be perceiving his real environment
again, and to realize that there’s something
sparking between Declan and me.

“
Right, Skate?” Trev gets up.

Skate bites into one more piece of bacon,
slurps down his Cherry Lime and gets up. “Right,” he says with a
full mouth. “Deck, weights tomorrow?”

“
Five o’ clock.”

Declan
and I get up to let the two boys out. Trev and he touch
fists and then bump shoulders. “Peace, homey.” Trev grabs his neck.
“Don’t forget we’re riding on Tuesday, OK? And tomorrow we’re
hitting the weights in the afternoon. Whatever you do today, that
time is ours.”

“
Never would forget, homes. You know you
could ride with me tomorrow as well. I’d prefer having my boy
lugging shit with me than some hand-for-hire off
Craigslist.”

“
Family, bro. You’re not the only one I
got,
and I gotta spend
some time with them tomorrow.” Then, he puts an arm around Declan
and turns him so their backs are to me. Trev talks softer, but I
can still hear him. “Speaking of which, when are we gonna see your
pops?” Trev’s got his hand firmly on Declan’s neck, and their
temples are almost touching.

Declan
looks directly into Trev’s eyes. Quietly, he says,
“Trev...”

“
Deck, you and me, together. We’re gonna go
see him.” Trev looks over at me, decides to drop the subject.
“We’ll talk about it tomorrow.

“
Blaze”—he bends down and hugs me with a
strong, manly hug that makes me love Declan even more because of
his friends—“it was more than a pleasure to meet you.”

I clear my throat, suddenly overwhelmed by
that chemical covered blanket
I told you about earlier. “Uhm, you too,
Trevor.”

“
Peace out.” Trev and Skate tromp
out.

Declan
sits again, says nothing. He sucks his Egg Cream clean with
a loud slurp. Maybe his mind is on this statement about his
pops
...

I feel I must mention something
here
before we go on.
Maybe you noticed I used the word
Love
earlier. Don’t misunderstand me there. Of course I love
Declan, just like I love Trev (at this stage I guess I only
like
Skate.) Doesn’t mean anything
necessarily. Deck makes me feel warm, welcomed. He makes me feel
something entirely new. Something I don’t fully understand if I’m
being honest with myself. No matter what’s happening in my life, I
try and tell myself things straight. Beating around the bush gets
you nowhere.

So, lacking a word for it, I
call this emotion love. I guess
I’m thinking,
I love him, just like I loved Savannah, like I loved
Patryk.

L
ove is an all-encompassing word in English.
“
There are
many words for love, and many nuances to those words, in
Polish
,” Mamah said to
me once. This was when I was sixteen, crying on my bed because I’d
caught Eliasz Piscor (“
The totally coolest guy in all of Greenpoint High,
Mamah!
”) kissing Zuzanna
Osik (“
A
total skank lying bitch if I ever saw one! She’s no good for
him!
”) behind a school
dumpster. At that stage, I thought his tongue in her throat and his
hand on her tit under her sweater was the worst thing a person
could ever see in her entire life.

Fast forward to today,
Tom’s
Restaurant. Is it my subconscious using this word
in a very calculated way?

Or is it, you know
, someone—
or something
—else...?

Moments of unbelievable silence go by
while
Declan and I sit
here, me playing with my empty coffee cup, him turning the straw in
his empty Egg Cream glass.

I look up at him, instantly smile at his
beauty. If I don’t know where this is going, at least I’ll
have
that
—a memory of
just how innocently bad and troubled he looks.

The heat of him pressing
against me and that wall is
gone. Not that I don’t find him sexually attractive, it’s just that
I don’t know shit about that area. I’ve been with
one
guy in my life
Like
That
. And the other, who
came close to
Like That
, was,
well, we’ll get to that later...

“
Uhm,” I say, “Just FYI, I don’t
usually...uhm...take guys home...after— I guess what I’m trying to
say is...that I’m more of a
go-out-for-coffee-and-get-to-know-each-other-first kind of
girl.”

He can’t help himself smiling. “Did you
think I was going to jump you and race you to bed?” His eyes glint
mischievously.

I like the flirty comment, and I like the
prickliness it brings to my cheeks. But it also makes me a little
nervous. “No, uhm, well, I don’t know—”

“
May I remind you, that it was
you
who kissed me—”

“
I don’t regret it.”

Pause. Then, “I’m glad you did it. I have
to confess...” He eases a hand to mine, caresses it. It sends
lightning all over my skin, makes my insides bubble like boiling
water. “...I was a little”—he chuckles—“I don’t know how to put
this—”

“
Put it any way you like.”