Knockdown (23 page)

I sat on top of the deck with a coat and a blanket around me. It was cold. It seemed like every day was almost twice as chilly as the day before. As I did most mornings, I checked my cell. Same result. No service. We only had six days before we were supposed to meet up with our family. What if cell service was still out? What if they made it to the island, but we weren’t there. And when we did meet up, how could we tell them that Cole was gone? I imagined the look on Mom’s face and wiped my eyes.

Before long the guys returned.
I was glad for the company. I’d been wrong. Being alone wasn’t what I needed.

They were excited about
a large canister of natural gas they’d found.

“We took this off the yacht we found the dinghy on
.” Takumi patted the canister. Then he held up a large plastic barrel full of water. “Figured we’d need some this morning. But don’t drink it until it’s boiled.” He handed me the pot the mice had been floating in.

I didn’t even ask if they’d washed it out. I just
poured some of the water into the tea kettle and turned on the stove. Just when the water began to steam, the gas flame died.

I climbed up
the stairs. “Good timing, guys. The stove’s out of gas. Will you change over the canisters?”

Takumi opened the gas storage locker. “Damn.
The can we found is too big. It won’t fit.”

“What size is the top connector?
” Nick asked.

I left them to figure it out and went below where it was warmer.

Jervis followed me. “Look what I found.” He smiled and held up an enormous jacket. It was bright yellow with reflective tape, the kind road workers wear. He put it on and modeled for me. I was happy for him. He’d found a warm coat that fit.

Boots whined and I hurried to the bedroom to grab him before he woke the girls. Angelina mouthed, “Thanks.”
Makala rolled over, pulling the blanket over her head. I cradled the dog in my arms and closed the door.

Jervis
still had on his yellow coat, so I handed Boots to him. He made a face, but took the dog up top.

“Try the stove now,” Nick yelled down to me.

I turned on the burner. It flamed to life. I gave the guys a thumbs-up.

Takumi joined me in the kitchen. “There’re a couple of fishing boats on shore we plan to check out. Want to come?”

I wanted off the boat more than anything, but first I had to have something to drink. “Can you wait until I get some water boiled?”

Takumi smiled. One by one the rest of the crew woke up.
Zoë and I made cups of tea. I made mine to go. She took hers back to bed.

The dinghy was amazing. It was big, with rounded sides that rode the waves well.
Takumi, Jervis, Nick, and I had lots of room and I didn’t get wet at all.

After so many days at sea, it was strange to be back on land. I continued to feel the rocking motion of the boat. I grabbed Takumi to steady myself.

From shore, I checked
Whistler
out. The piling we tied up to had been part of a marina. The area around it seemed empty and safe. I couldn’t see the dents from so far away and the boat looked pretty good.

On the beach, m
uddy rubble lay all around. Pieces of roofs, buildings, cars, and boats were stacked together in some areas. In other places, there was nothing but mud. The cold night had started to freeze the ground and that made it all the more slippery.

“
Jervis and I will get the beach fire going and boil as much water as we can.” Nick hefted a huge crab cooking pot on his shoulder. “Yell if you need help.”

Takumi and I climbed over debris towards two big fishing charter boats. One sat perfectly
upright, the other on its side. The cabin was crushed. My foot slid on a piece of mud-covered wood and I started to fall.

Takumi caught me mid-air.

Just like Cole would have done.

I froze.
My heart raced. I couldn’t breathe. “Put me down.”

Takumi lowered me to my feet. “What’s wrong?”

I shook my head and collapsed on an upside down bathtub. After a while my breathing steadied.

“What just happened?” he
asked.

I closed my eyes. “Sometimes you remind me of Cole. And it’s…it’s hard.”

“What? Toni, look at me.”

I opened my eyes.

“I’m not your brother.”

“I kn
ow that.” I kicked a clod of mud. “But Cole was always the one who picked me up and protected me. You…”

Taku
mi scooted close to me. “You will drive yourself crazy with these kinds of thoughts. There are going to be hundreds of things every day that remind you of your brother. You can’t push away everyone who does something that Cole might have done.”

He was right, but I
couldn’t stop hurting.

Takumi studied the bay
. “Maybe we should have some kind of service for Cole. You know, a memorial where you get a chance to say goodbye.”

“I don’t want to say goodbye.” I frowned.

“I know, but maybe it would help you move on.” Takumi stood and reached out to me. His fingers hung in the air, waiting. I had to stretch to clasp his hand. When his fingers closed over mine, a tingle ran up my spine. A spark jump-started my heart. He pulled me up and into his arms. I raised my face. His lips brushed mine. He didn’t remind me of my brother at all.

We
held hands as we headed toward the fishing boats Takumi had pointed to earlier. It wasn’t an easy walk. We had to step carefully. The top layers of the mud had frozen on all the wreckage. A place that appeared solid would crack and cave in as soon as we stepped on it. After a while, I quit seeing the broken buildings, smashed cars, and scattered appliances. I focused on the next step and then the one after that.

Taku
mi and I pulled ourselves up onto the fishing boat. It was wedged in tight between a broken dock and a smashed trailer house. The windows in the port side of the cabin were gone. Mud and water had flowed through the berths, galley, and bathroom.

“Yuck.
” I scrunched my nose as I entered the kitchen area. In a drawer, I discovered sealed packages of coffee and tea bags. They’d been wet, but might be usable, at least until they molded. The spices over the stove were covered in mud. I stashed the coffee and tea into my pack.

Takumi pulled up a cushion. “Look what I found.”

I peered down. Protected by the fiberglass bench, three cases of bottled water lay at the bottom. “Why would someone leave water?”

Takumi pulled out the first case.
“They probably headed to the mountains. There are lots of streams and lakes up there. These are heavy to carry and in the mountains they wouldn’t need bottled water.” Takumi smiled. “Good for us.”

I opened cupboard after cupboard, hoping for another find. But there were no cans of food. Not even one can of stew. The first aid kit was gone too.

In the bathroom I managed to find of a tube of opened toothpaste, seasick pills, and soap that had been left sealed in a plastic sandwich bag. The toilet paper was a muddy, soggy mess. I made a face.

Takumi swung
the water onto his shoulder and groaned at the weight. “This boat was picked clean before everyone left. And it was a charter boat. No one lived on it. Let’s check the deck storage and then try another boat.”

There were two large hatches up on deck. Takumi set the cases of water aside and lifted the cover on the port side. It led to a ladder that went underneath the stern. He climbed down and I followed close behind. The only source of light was from the hatch opening above us.

“Toni, wait.” Takumi struggled to pull his cell out of his pocket. He tapped the flashlight app and shined it up ahead.

“What?” I bumped into his back. We were both bent over. The ceiling was low.

“Get back.” Takumi motioned for me to stop.

I got to my knees and peered around his hunched form. A person sat huddled in the far corner of the stern.
Takumi put his finger to his lips and shined the light at the corner. The person was a man with a thick gray beard.

Ta
kumi made his way toward him. “Sir? Sir? Are you all right?”

The man with a gray beard didn’t answer
.

Takumi lowered the light and reached out his hand.

The man didn’t move.

Takumi touched the man’s shoulder. Gray Beard fell onto his side.

I screamed and covered my mouth with my hand.

Takumi placed his fingers on the man’s neck, seeking a pulse. After a few s
econds he shook his head.

I made my way to the corner. Gray Beard’s glazed
-over eyes stared back at me.

“Why didn’t he leave with the rest of the town?”
I whispered.

“We’ll never know. I’
d guess this boat was his life and he didn’t want to leave it.” Takumi pointed. “See, he’s wearing a survival suit. I bet he thought he could ride out the tsunami in here. The lack of air might be what killed him. Now, the boat’s his tomb.”

I glanced around at the cold storage locker.
“We can’t leave him here!”

“Toni, we’d have to carry him for miles to find land we could dig up. And that would be partially frozen. This is where he chose to be.”

“But…” I started to protest but couldn’t think of a better solution.

“
It’s cold. His body will be protected down here.” Takumi placed a water-proof jacket over the man’s head. Now all I could see was his dark red survival suit. “If he has family, they’ll look for him here.”

The thought of his family finding him convinced me we were doing the right thing, but I couldn’t leave the man without doing something.

I took Gray Beard’s cold hand in mine and said the only prayer that came to mind. “Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.”

“That was a little morbid, but nice
.” Takumi put his arm around me.

I
tried to shed a tear for the poor, lonely man, but none came. I guess I was finally out of tears.

We sat in silence
and then slowly moved away. The storage locker was packed with deep sea fishing poles, a huge tackle box, and giant crab pots.

“We should leave t
hese for his family.” I opened the tackle box. It contained every lure and fishing hook imaginable.

Takumi took a pole off the wall. “We don’t know for sure that he has a family, or even if they would be the next ones here. We need these. But we only need a few. An
d we can’t use the crab pots. They’re commercial. Too big for us to store or heft out of the water.”

Takumi
loaded four fishing poles in my arms. I started to say something about not taking the tackle box, but didn’t. Takumi was right. We didn’t need to be greedy, but the needs of the living were more important than the needs of the dead.

We held hands
for one last look at Gray Beard and whispered, “Thank you.”

With our arms full, we headed back to the bonfire to unload before searching the other boats. The
guys were excited to see what we’d found. We told them about the man and they agreed we’d done the right thing, leaving him.

Zoë
waved her arms on the deck of
Whistler
. “We’re ready to go ashore.”

Boots barked.

Nick took a deep breath. “I’ll go.”

“You know, one dinghy isn’t going to be enough,” I said. “We saw some kayaks scattered around. There must have been a tou
r company here somewhere. Kayaks would be great to scout ahead in and there’d be another way off the boat.”

The
guys liked my idea. We decided Takumi and I would look for kayaks next. Nick and Takumi left the fire to load the dinghy with the bottles of water and the gear we’d found. They stood for a long time involved in a serious discussion. I was too far away to hear, but hoped it wasn’t about Dylan.

Two
enormous stainless steel pans rested precariously on grates placed over the roaring fire. Water steamed from the top.

“I can’t believe how long it takes to boil water.”
Jervis threw some boards onto the fire and checked the water.

Upside
-down plastic buckets sat around the fire pit in a semi-circle. They’d been placed there the night before. I took a seat on one closest to the flames. Jervis joined me.

“This feels so good.”
I reached out to warm the palms of my hands.

Jervis
stood and checked the pot. “I planned to go off on my own when we got to land.”

“
Jervis!”

‘I’m just in the way.”
He sat back on his bucket.

“You’
re not in the way. We need you.”