Knight of the Highlander (18 page)

"Stop fighting, little kitten."

"Kitten?"

"Yes. All hiss and no scratch. Arywnn, while I appreciate your concern, it is unnecessary. I know you are bound to feel… hesitant to the task at hand, but even if you did make a mess of it somehow, none of it would change my love. However…" He leaned back and studied her face. "I don't think you'll create the mess you're afraid of. You'll be fine, you will."

Somewhat mollified, Arywnn twisted her lips as she thought over Colin's assurances.

"If ye don't stop drawing my attention tae your lovely mouth, we will not make it tae the dining hall to practice."

A saucy smile teased her lips and she leaned forward, rising up on her tip-toes till she was a breath away from Colin's alluring mouth. She breathed softly against his lips, teasing him mercilessly till she watched his eyes close. Quickly she backed away and began to walk to the door.

"Minx." She heard Colin mumble under his breath a moment before she heard his heavy footsteps echo in the room as he caught up to her.

"You're a wicked one, you are," he whispered hotly in her ear as she paused by the door.

"Don't ye forget it either," she replied in a low tone as she raised an eyebrow and turned to walk into the hall.

****

As the day turned into evening, Colin stared into the fire burning in Silas' library. It had been an eventful day. Arywnn, in spite of her fears, was a quick study, and he had no doubt she'd be able to play her part brilliantly. How he loved her. Her bravery was thick like her auburn tresses, and her purity of spirit was as clear as her sparkling gaze. How many women could endure what she had and, rather than let it conquer them, emerge the victor? How many women could travel with little to no sleep through the highland thickets, and appear half as beautiful and determined as his Arywnn?

Even in all of the finery she had worn today, with the soft curls tumbling down from their pinning's on the top of her head, nothing compared to her wild beauty when he first saw her more than four years ago. She had captured his heart then. She held it captive still.

The clock chimed six in the evening, and Colin knew it was approaching the time for supper. Afterward he would need to disclose the final information to Arywnn, praying it wouldn't break that bravery she wore so perfectly.

"My lord?" Silas' butler entered the library and waited for Colin's response.

"Yes?"

"Supper is served."

Colin nodded. The butler bowed, then left.

With a heavy sigh, Colin strode out into the hall. Fear licked at his heels. It was a strange sensation for someone who wasn't accustomed to being afraid. A sensation he wished would never repeat itself.

Supper was pleasant and filled with lively conversation from Silas, who seemed to be in rare form. As a bachelor his whole life, he truly was enjoying feminine company in the form of Arywnn. He teased her in a fatherly way, chuckling to himself when she would blush at something he said, or when her musical laughter would ring out over a story he shared about his childhood. Colin watched in rapturous amusement as the two enjoyed their conversation. Occasionally he'd commented here or there, but for the most part he watched, absorbing the beauty of his two most beloved people enjoying one another.

All too soon the meal ended. His heart pounding excessively hard, Colin cleared his throat and stood.

"Arywnn? Would you care for me to show you Silas' greenhouse?"

Though Silas didn't have a large garden in his town home, he did have a rather large greenhouse for his plants. It wouldn't be safe to walk the streets, and wandering the halls of the townhome seemed odd. He could confess to her in the library or parlor, but he was restless. He needed to exhaust some of his nervous energy somehow. The greenhouse was his only option.

"Of course." Arywnn nodded. After thanking Silas for the meal, she moved with impeccable grace to where Colin waited.

His tongue felt thick in his mouth as he watched her, fear and anxiety choking out the pleasure he felt as she smiled at him. Quickly her smile changed to concern. Apparently he wasn't hiding his emotions well.

"Are… are ye well, Colin?" she asked, her keen eyes narrowing as she studied his face.

"Yes. Tired is all," he confessed, and it was enough of the truth to keep him from being a liar.

"Very well… are ye sure ye want tae walk? Perhaps ye should—"

"I'm perfectly fine, Arywnn. Thank you though, for your concern."

Arywnn's eyes regarded him, seeming to peel back his attempts at allaying her concern.

She opened her mouth then closed it, seeming to think better about what she was about to say.

"Verra well."

As if sensing the shift, Arywnn was silent as Colin led her to the greenhouse on the east wing of the town home. With each soft footstep, Colin felt his body grow tense with trepidation.

The soft glow of the greenhouse beckoned them. It reminded him of a smaller version of the orangery on his parent's estate. He held the glass door open for Arywnn and she entered, casting a wary glance in his direction.

The heavy scent of flora and fauna invited them in the warm enclosure. The air was thick and moist, cloying in its fragrance from the various flowers blooming around them. A small path meandered, offering the only unoccupied space in the enclosure. With a deep breath, Colin gestured for Arywnn to follow him.

Just as he remembered, he saw that there was indeed a bench at the end of the path. It was just large enough for two to share side by side.

"Are ye gonna tell me why ye brought me here? Or must I guess?" Arywnn sat on the bench, and smoothed her fine dress with trembling hands.

Colin bit back a groan. How he hated that he was the cause of her distress!

"Arywnn…"

"Not sweet Arywnn?" A ghost of a smile teased her lips as she looked up at him.

"Sweet Arywnn." Colin chuckled. "As you know, there is one final… explanation I must offer you before we leave Scotland. Not being one to wait till the last minute, the time has come for me to speak."

Arywnn rolled her eyes. "Aye, because you didn't wait till the last minute tae rescue me… or tell me who ye really were." She teased, but her mirthful expression was strained around her eyes.

"True. But I didn't have much choice love." Colin raised an eyebrow.

"Are ye gonna tell me, or am I doomed tae wait here far-ever."

"Honestly, I'm contemplating that very question, and I might make you if you don't stop interrupting me." Colin blew out an exasperated huff.

"Verra well." her tone was slightly repentant.

"I've told you as much as I could about myself, at least that which wouldn't create danger if you were, heaven forbid, captured. All specifics about my identity, I had to keep secreted from you, for your own protection. Please know that not once did I do any of this for myself, but always, always thinking of you… wanting to protect you."

"I believe ye." Arywnn nodded. Her eyes were wide with curiosity and concern.

"You know me as Colin, which is my given name. But my full name, is Colin Blackburn Murray."

"Murray?" Her delicate brow furrowed as if deep in thought. Collin waited for the pieces to fall together. Suddenly her eyes met his in acute realization, and her soft lips parted as she gasped.

"But ye are for the English… against the Jacobite uprisin'." She stuttered. "Yet yer name is quite Scottish."

"That's because my grandfather and father feld Scotland when he was a lad. His father had chosen to side with the English's rule. He offered them information in return for safe passage to London and a title there. His information lead to the first conquering of the Scottish uprising. In his footsteps, I also served the crown. My first assignment was about five years ago." Colin glanced down, his features strained.

"I pretended to be a Highlander to glean information for the crown. Yes, not so much different than what I was doing while at Clan Chattan." He answered her unspoken question.

"So… what happened?" Arywnn asked as she toyed with the fringe of her gown where it met at her waist. Colin paused, watching her delicate fingers move. After taking a deep breath, he continued.

"I found myself in a predicament, actually. I was seized by a band of Highland warriors. The only reason I survived was because I was able to play the Scottish Highlander. It was the truth of who I was. Who I am by birth. But my loyalty, it was to the King. So I listened, and I traveled with that band till they met up with a band of Jacobites about to ambush a company of English supporters. After uncovering the necessary information, I left the band of Jacobites, and informed those they planned to attack. It was a small scrimmage, painfully short because of the knowledge I had given." He paused and searched her gaze. He took a deep breath as if fortifying himself before pain. "Your brother was one of the casualties."

"How do ye ken?" Arywnn asked breathlessly.

"I didn't till I came to your clan, and pieced the puzzle together. Arthair was one of the men who had befriended me in the Jacobite band. I was truly sorry to leave him behind, but knew I must. He was fiercely loyal to his cause. Now I understand that loyalty stemmed from a need to find your father's approval."

"Aye. So many… so many lives were lost…" Arywnn brushed a tear away from her cheek as it trailed down, leaving a glistening trail in it's wake. "Arthair… my brother." She whimpered softly.

"I know… and I bear the guilt knowing that I played a part in his death." Colin swallowed his guilt. "So you see why I was keeping this from you? Even now I wonder… Can you see past what I've done, to find me?" Colin held his breath as he waited for the answer that would define his fate.

Arywnn glanced down at her beautiful gown. Her Highlands. Her home. Even now as she planned to leave it, it was still so close and dear to her heart. Oh, but that pain was small in comparison to the ache she felt in her heart over the information that the man she loved was the reason her beloved brother was killed. The world seemed wonderful, bright, and promising not an hour ago. Now she felt as if the weight of the earth had settled on her shoulders. Though she was able to understand Colin's reason, it still hurt. She still felt the sting of loss when it came to Arthair.

War was a nasty, wretched thing. It turned her stomach just thinking of it. The men, the Jacobites, didn't even have a proper armory. She knew her brother was one of the few men that even owned a sword. It was an unmerciful battle, and she hated the idea that her love, the man who had rescued her body, mind, and soul, could have anything to do with such a wretched part of history. Yet she knew it was the way of men. To fight, kill, and dominate, only to be wretched away by another who became stronger. How she was tired of it all. A great weariness settled over her, causing her to bleed out another tear.

"I understand Colin, and I don't think less of ye for it. I do. I see past yer actions, and tae the man. It will nae change my love for ye, but I must admit to havin' an ache in my heart over knowin' ye had somethin' tae do with Arthair's death."

Tentatively, Colin reached over and gently pulled her into his strong arms. The scent of cinnamon and cloves enveloped her, bathing her in a sense of security. Immediately she felt her fear and trepidation melt away in the warmth of Colin's embrace.

"Truly I do see past it. Ye must believe me."

"I do. Do you understand why I waited, why I couldn't tell you?"

"Aye, T'was wise."

Arywnn was silent, simply listening to the solid, rhythmic beating of Colin's heart as she rested against him.

"And now… now we are to leave for London? So you can disclose the information you learned from my father, from Rian?"

"Aye. I have information that will be beneficial to end any more wars over the English Crown."

"That… that is a good thing, Colin."

"Indeed it is."

Colin's blue-black gaze regarded Arywnn. His eyes slightly narrowed as his dark lower lashes brushed against his cheekbone. His head tilted slightly as if about to begin a question, but he hesitated.

"Aye? Wh'chya thinkin'," Arywnn encouraged.

"That your brother… surely you must hold me responsible for even a small part of his death. The very thought has plagued me day and night since I discovered the truth." His dark eyebrows furrowed and pinched together in his forehead, while his full lips pulled into a thin line.

Arywnn shook her head. "'Twas many men responsible for his death. Ye weren't the one that stole his breath, Colin. I dinnae ken who was, but it 'twasn't ye. How would I hold ye responsible for what ye cannae' have ken?" Arywnn reached over and grasped Colin's hand. It was warm, rough, and calloused from his work in the forge and, more recently, his hard riding through the Highlands on their journey. His hands were strong and protective. Immediately Arywnn felt security wrap around her like a warm blanket.

"I love ye," she whispered, casting a glance up to meet his intense gaze. His eyes closed as if disbelieving her words. When his eyes opened again a moment later, they were illuminated by a fierce possession as he gazed at her, owning her soul without even a spoken word.