Knight in Shining Suit (15 page)

He sighed. “Time,” he
whispered softly, I could swear I heard notes of longing and regret
in his dulcet tones.

“
There’s no way to fast
forward it?”

He shook his head. “You
can forget it tonight, but I can’t promise you that you won’t still
feel heartbroken in the morning.”

I smiled. “Okay. If only
for tonight, Ryder. Help me forget.”

He laughed and put an arm
around my shoulders. “Come on then, we have an engagement to
celebrate.”

8.

THE WEDDING NIGHT: The first night as husband and
wife.

If torn between the
much-needed sleep and passionate lovemaking, keep this in mind: You
only have ONE wedding night! Make it memorable. Make it
count!

E
verything was dark and hazy. I opened my eyes and the first
thing I felt was the severe pain in my head.

I opened my eyes and saw
light peeking through the curtains. I didn’t feel cold like I
usually do when I wake up in the mornings. Normally, an image of
Bryan popped up in my head when I woke up, reminding me of my
broken heart.

This time it was
different. This time, the first image that popped up in my head was
that of a much more handsome guy. His eyes were deep ocean green,
his hair raven black. He looked like a wonderful Adonis drawn out
from the pages of a historical novel. His face was perfect. His
body… his abs were perfect, his muscles well-toned, his skin
flawless.

Hey! Go back one
second!
I thought to myself. How did I
know how perfect and well-toned his muscles were? How did I know
his skin was flawless?

I closed my eyes once
again, trying to recollect the memories of last night.

I remembered that the room
he rented for us was perfect. It was twice the size of the room I
booked for Bryan and myself, which was now being occupied by Bryan
and Geena a floor below us. There were roses everywhere and we
celebrated my victorious show with a bottle of wine. Then I
remember all the crying and whining. I had a physical yearning to
forget everything, and the only way to do that was to drink and
drink, and drink some more. I don't think I've ever had so much
alcohol in my entire life!

There were flashes of …
images in my head. But they were blurry and they were coming back
to me very slowly.

I had felt as if all my
nerves had come to life. I remember feeling bolder than I've ever
felt. I remembered flirting with him, within the confines of our
room, not caring what he would say or think. I remember letting go
of everything I was holding on to, everything that I had been
afraid of.

I remember touching him…
in places I hadn’t touched Bryan. I remember letting him touch me,
in places no one has ever touched me before. Then I remember… the
ripping pain, and the pleasure that came afterward.

I opened my eyes. My heart
pounded wildly in my ribcage.

Did I just dream it
all?

Slowly, I peeked under the
sheets and I realized in horror that… everything I remembered were
not just figments of my imaginative mind. I am not that creative in
that department!

I turned my head to my
left side and found Ryder lying flat on his tummy. His eyes were
open and he was watching me carefully.

He smiled at me lazily.
“You weren’t dreaming,” he whispered, as if he read my
thoughts.

I sighed. “I was afraid of
that.”

He bit his lip. I guess he
wanted to say something, but decided against it.

He reached forward and
caressed my chin gently.

“
Do you still hurt?” he
asked very softly.

I shook my head and I knew
I turned the deepest shade of red.

“
Now you probably think
Bryan was right to cheat on me,” I muttered.

“
No,” he whispered. There
was a sense of tenderness in his voice.

I was still skeptical.
“What do you think then?”

He took a deep breath and
said, “I think he was foolish not to wait.”

I rolled my eyes. “Thanks.
That makes me feel better!”

He propped up on one elbow
and then he said, “It should make you feel better, because it’s the
truth, Astrid.”

“
Easy for you to say,
Ryder. I avoided all advances from him, but I easily threw myself
at you last night!”

He didn’t say anything. He
just kept staring at me.

It was true. I did throw
myself at him last night. I was the one who began touching him
provocatively. I remember he was trying to avoid some of my earlier
advances. He was trying to be a gentleman, but I was
persistent.

I threw my hands over my
face. I felt so ashamed of myself.

“
God, what have I done?” I
whispered.

I heard him sigh and then
I felt him take me in his arms.

“
You made love to me, and
it was amazing, Astrid! I refuse to regret it no matter what you
say or do now! I will not feel sorry about last night. There is
nothing to be ashamed of.”

I pulled away from him.
Then I turned my back on him. I didn’t have the courage to look at
him yet.

“
We better go,” I said
curtly.

I heard him sigh, but he
didn’t say anything more.

I went to the shower and
had a long bath. I wanted to cry, but the tears just wouldn’t come.
I wanted to remember my dream of giving myself to Bryan months ago.
But all I could think of was Ryder; touching me, loving me, making
love to me... I remember his fleeting, feather-light touches around
my face and neck, his eyes staring into mine, the incredulous look
on his face when he had felt the barrier of my innocence. I
remember screaming his name over and over as I reached the realms
of pleasure. He brought me to heaven twice and I clung to him with
all that I had. I didn’t even know I was capable of feeling all
those things. I didn’t know I could be sexual. I didn’t know I
could want a man the way I wanted him last night… or the way I
think I still wanted him now.

When I got out of the
shower, I was dressed in a long robe, fully covered.

Ryder came past me on his
way to the bathroom. He was wearing only a towel wrapped around his
waist, his abs in full view, and I couldn’t help the desire that
reeled through me again.

He stopped and stared at
me for a long moment. I couldn’t move as I stared back at him. He
raised a brow at me. Somehow, he looked irritated, like he was
stopping himself from saying or doing something.

Great! The first guy I
ever made love to is irritated with me already… after just one
night!
I thought glumly.

He narrowed his eyes, as
if he was trying to decipher something in my expression. Then he
shook his head slightly and went into the bathroom.

I felt frustrated. Last
night, he was the perfect knight in shining armor. He came to my
rescue graciously, and absorbed every shock, every pain for me.
Somehow all that changed this morning. Somehow, I see something in
his eyes that resembles cold fury, as if I said or did something
that offended him.

I have no way of knowing
if Ryder slept with me because he wanted me for real. If I weren’t
writing him a check, I’d probably believe he did. And Adam was
right. I didn’t know Ryder at all. He looks like a god and he knows
it. I don’t know how often he has sex with a woman who throws
herself at him. He probably made love to me because he thought it
was part of our bargain.

I quickly dressed and then
I placed his final check on the table.

I laughed humorlessly
because right now, I felt like an old, lonely matron, paying for a
younger, handsome guy to pleasure her!

Tears rolled down my
cheeks and I knew I couldn’t bear to face Ryder like that.
He’ll try to make me feel better again, and I
have had enough pretensions to last me a lifetime.
All the pretenses we put up with last night were
enough, thank you very much! I couldn’t bear to have him look at me
with sincere, admiring eyes, knowing I paid him to do that. I came
here on a mission and he helped me accomplish it. But it was over
now.

He came out of the
bathroom.

“
Here’s the rest of your
payment,” I said to him. I placed a pair of sunglasses over my
eyes. I didn’t want him to see just how painful this was all for
me. “I’ll meet you at the lobby. I’ll see Nicole and probably say
goodbye to my parents.”

He didn’t say anything. He
just stared at me. His face was cold. Other than that, I couldn’t
make out the expression on his face.

“
Will you ask the bellboy
to bring my bag downstairs?”

He nodded once. Still he
didn’t say anything.

“
Okay, I’ll see you
later.” I hesitated, but when he made no move to stop me, I left
the room.

I dialed Nicole’s number.
I hoped she didn’t go home last night. I desperately needed someone
to talk to.

“
It’s too early!” she
groaned.

“
Where are you?” I
asked.

She gave me her room
number and I rushed to it. Within a few minutes, I was banging on
her door.

“
What is wrong with you?”
she asked angrily.

“
Nothing,” I replied
coming into the room. Somehow, her room seemed small, compared to
the room I shared with Ryder.

“
Where’s Ryder?” she
asked.

“
In our room,” I
replied.

Her eyes widened. “You
spent the night in one room?”

I nodded. “He rented the
Paradise Suite,” I said.

“
That’s
expensive.”

“
I know. But I think the
ten grand should cover it.”

I made a cup of coffee and
then we sat on her balcony.

“
You guys were great last
night, Ash,” Nicole said smiling. “You really did look genuinely in
love with each other. You were every girl’s envy last
night.”

I sighed. “I envy myself
last night,” I murmured.

Nicole laughed. “I know.
You couldn’t help wishing it were true. That you really are in
that… state already. Except that you still hurt.”

I sighed. Hurt? Somehow, a
different kind of pain was bothering me now. I had not thought of
Bryan all morning. All I could think about was Ryder and the
pleasures we shared last night… and then the cold look he gave me
this morning.

“
You did go overboard on
the kissing, you know.” Nicole teased. “I don’t think you were
pretending.”

“
Maybe we’re not,” I said,
sighing.

“
Excuse me?”

“
Well… he said to me that
we weren’t pretending. That last night, we really did belong to
each other.” I sighed glumly. “Only… I got carried
away.”

Nicole stared at me for a
moment and then she asked, “Got carried away how?”

I sighed. I contemplated
on telling her what really happened, but then I decided against it.
I didn’t think she’d understand. Somehow, I couldn’t bear for
anyone to think that I paid to have my virginity taken away from
me. How pathetic could I be?

“
I forgot that my life
still sucked when I woke up today,” I said.

“
Oh God, Ash! Please!” She
rolled her eyes. “I hope you saw the beautiful girl I saw last
night. She was radiant, she was confident! Your life does not suck!
Bryan was stealing glances at you the whole time. Trust me! I was
looking at him. He couldn’t get his eyes off you and he was
throwing daggers at Ryder whenever he could. Trust me, that guy was
chewing his nails last night! He wanted you more than he wanted his
bride. And the fact that Ryder was all over you was driving him
crazy.”

I stared at Nicole. I
tried to feel sorry for Bryan, but the only thing I felt now was… I
don’t know… a sense of vindication. But a bigger part of me still
thought about all the things that happened between Ryder and me
last night. Somehow, in the middle of the charade, something
changed. Something in me. I couldn’t pinpoint what it was. And the
look he gave me before I left was still playing over and over in my
head. He looked really pissed with me.

“
Everybody was looking at
you, Ash. They admired your courage. They thought you and Ryder are
just the perfect couple. You are. You really are,” she said. “He’s
a sweet guy.”

I sighed. “Too
sweet.”

Nicole stared at me. “You
like him, don’t you?”

I stared at her and
immediately I knew my cheeks burned.

“
Oh my God, you like him!
For real! You weren’t pretending!” Nicole accused.

I rolled my eyes. “Nicole,
please! Ryder could have had his pick of any woman last night. But
he was mine. Because I paid him to be. It was a gig for him. And he
did well.”

“
Come on, Ash. You should
give yourself more credit than that! You’re beautiful, for crying
out loud! Don’t let what Geena and Bryan did to you make you feel
any less about yourself. You deserve better than that. A lot
better.”