Kissing the Countess (14 page)

Yet the dream was offered without love, the most essential element of the fantasy. She looked away, shook her head. "You would not marry me otherwise, Lord Kildonan, so you do not need to marry me now. They have forced you into this."

"No one forced me," he said sharply. "I suggested it. I owe you a rescue."

"That is no reason for marriage."

He leaned near. "What if there is a child?" he murmured.

She drew a breath. That thought had occurred to her, too, when she had let go of reason to experience rare passion last night. "Then that would be my consequence and my concern."

"I disagree," he growled.

Shaking her head, she stepped back and pushed the door shut, stopping short of mashing his fingers. "Please go," she said.

In answer, he pushed on the door so firmly that she could no longer hold it closed. As it gave way, he crossed the threshold. She stepped back into the room with the force of his entry.

* * *

Evan strode inside, kicked the door shut, and took her by the shoulders. "Listen to me, you stubborn lass. I compromised you, but I will honor my obligation. We both know a child is a possibility. Marriage seems to me to be the only reasonable solution."

"Bearing an out-of-wedlock child is not the catastrophe in the Highlands that it is in the Lowlands and elsewhere," she said. "Such offspring are often welcome in Highland homes."

"Perhaps so, but not in this Highland home, I would guess," he said in an intense tone. Leaning forward, he lowered his voice so that no one, even standing outside the door, could hear him. "You'll find no forgiveness for that here. If they send you south, you could end up doing factory work while your child grows up on the streets. I've seen such children," he went on. "Have you?"

She glanced away. "I have."

"Aye. Bowed legs, swollen bellies, wandering the streets half-naked while their parents slave for a pauper's wage. Highland children are straight and strong and beautiful, walking the hills with their families. The child of an earl would have all the advantages without the suffering. Now which should ours be, do you think?"

The images he evoked tugged at her heart, but she shook her head. "The question is pointless. There will be no child."

"How do you know? Did you use methods against it? I did not," Evan said. "I could not think—you were so..." He paused, glanced away. "The situation got away from me. And you will not know if you are with child for several weeks."

"Women know their... phases, sir. If you are so adamant about this, we need only wait a little while," Catriona said, cheeks blazing. "Then you will know there is no need for marriage."

"And if you are wrong?"

She glanced away, knew she must relent. "If so... then we would have to marry, if you are still willing."

"I am willing now. Waiting is out of the question, since I had not planned to stay in the glen for long. And I will not have a child of mine born after a six-month marriage, I assure you."

Something turned, needful and poignant, deep inside. Every instinct told her he was a good man, a man of integrity and kindness, and that they could make a marriage, even from this accursed start. Yet she privately knew that she had cajoled him into loving her and that he felt obligated. Nor could she easily forgive him for concealing his identity.

She had wanted only to be loved last night, just once. But she had fallen too deep, too far. Now she did not know what to do. Tears stung her eyes, and she shook her head in silence.

"Listen to me. That heartless raven of a woman," he ground out, "will send you away. Let me take you out of here."

"So you can pack me off somewhere far away from you once you decide I am not truly fit to be a countess? No." If she ever married, she wanted love, devotion, partnership.

"Catriona—what is it that bothers you so about this?"

She stood in silence, unable and unwilling to tell him all her doubts and fears—and she could not tell him what Grant had threatened and what he had told her about Evan's intentions in Glen Shee. She turned her head and did not answer.

"Do not make this so blasted difficult."

"We have no basis for a real marriage," she finally said.

"We had the makings of one last night," he murmured. "Shall I remind you?" He reached out and pulled her to him, dipping his head to kiss her with such tender richness that her head spun and her knees gave way. He held her up with his easy strength, and she wrapped her arms around his neck and let him kiss her again.

Dazed, she felt herself responding to the powerful desire that had overtaken her last night. When he pulled away, she stood with her eyes closed, her breath quickening.

"Well?" he asked. "Do you remember now? We have the makings of a marriage—you cannot deny it."

She looked at him then. He towered over her, the only man she knew who was taller—and stronger willed—than she was. Her heart surged, and passion tugged at her, intimately, hopefully. He possessed some sort of magic in his hands, his lips, his voice, that sank easily into her and untied the knots, weakened her resolve.

"I know," she whispered. She felt her knees trembling, felt her body, her soul, hurtle forward, when she tried to resist. "I will... marry you." She looked up. "And your debt will be paid."

His hands tightened on her arms. "Catriona, my girl," he murmured, "somehow I wonder if I can ever make it up to you."

She gazed at him in silence, suddenly wanting to be kissed again, as if that could erase the strife and doubt.

He let go of her and turned away. "Come downstairs—we'll inform your family." He opened the door.

Catriona saw her aunt standing in the hallway outside her room as if she had been eavesdropping through the oaken door.

"So," Judith said. "I see you have made your decision. A good thing—you two were alone far too long. Lord Kildonan, I came up to tell you that your sister, Lady Jean, and her husband, Lord... Lord Henry..."

"Sir Harry Gray, madam," Evan supplied tersely.

"Aye. Lady Jean and Sir Harry have arrived and are anxious to see you." She frowned. "I do not have the stamina to inform them of this awful scandal, so I will leave that to you. Come along, Catriona." She whirled away and headed for the stairs, then spoke over her shoulder. "Your father wants this deed done tonight."

Glancing frantically at Evan, Catriona pushed past him. "Tonight?" she said as her aunt trounced down the stairs.

"The reverend insists," Mrs. Rennie answered, pausing on the landing to look up. "We have begun the arrangements."

Catriona gasped and stepped forward, but Evan grabbed her arm and pulled her back. "Let it go. What difference tonight, next week, next month? The sooner we are married, the sooner you are free of this so-called disgrace. And the sooner you are out of this house," he murmured.

She whirled to direct her anger toward him. "This is my home! I do not want to leave it like this, so fast."

"They will force you to leave or marry. And I owe you a rescue. Frankly, I think you need one."

"You're wrong," she snapped.

But she knew, in her heart, that he was right. Her life had begun to change in the first moment she saw him, and it would never be the same.

Chapter 10

"Your father, the previous earl, attended my parish church." Holding a dainty teacup in his tough, squarish hand, Thomas MacConn looked at Evan. "But you and Lady Jean were raised in the Lowlands, as I recall." He frowned. "Do you attend kirk, sir?"

"Of course. Regularly." Evan glanced at his sister, who sat beside Catriona. Lady Jean Gray, dark haired and beautiful in the first blush of early pregnancy, watched him, her expressive brown eyes wide. She glanced at her husband, a large, handsome fellow normally brimming with good spirits, who pressed his lips together grimly. Beside them, oblivious to the rest, Arthur Fitzgibbon took a bite out of a biscuit, crunching audibly.

Evan was glad that Jean and Harry had come to Glenachan after learning of the mountain rescue. Arriving at the manse, they had managed to hide their astonishment when Evan had taken them aside to explain about his impending marriage, to be performed that night.

Jean had kissed his cheek gently, while Harry had declared genially that Evan should stay off mountains if climbing got him into that much trouble. Jean had gone off in search of Catriona to welcome her to the family, a gesture Evan greatly appreciated.

"Our mother made sure we attended church every Sunday," Jean said with her usual calm, "no matter where we were at the time, whether in Edinburgh or at her estate in northern England."

"Did you attend services in the Established Church of Scotland or the Free Kirk?" Mrs. Rennie asked.

"Actually neither." Evan set his teacup down. He would have done anything to escape the last tense, awkward half hour, but for Catriona, who sat on the horsehair sofa beside him in relative silence. He would not desert her.

Mrs. Rennie huffed. "I knew it! You're a Mary worshiper!"

"Aunt Judith!" Catriona burst out.

"If he's a Catholic, he won't be able to marry you tonight, lass," her father said. "Not without obtaining a dispensation."

"We attend Anglican services," Evan said sharply, resenting the whole business. "When in Scotland, we attend a Scottish Episcopalian church, or an Established Church. Does that meet your standards?" He had endured enough of his soon-to-be in-laws, and his admiration for Catriona had increased tenfold. He was more than willing to marry her to get her away from this.

"Good," Thomas grunted. "The Anglicans and the Free Church recognize one another's wedding ceremonies. We'll go ahead with it tonight, as agreed."

Catriona drew a breath. "Papa, I do not want—"

"We must do this quickly," Judith Rennie said. "I apologize, Lady Jean, Sir Harry," she said, turning toward Evan's sister and brother-in-law. "This is not the best welcome for your first visit to the manse. So very awkward."

"Not at all, Mrs. Rennie," Jean answered. "I am so relieved that my brother is safe after his disappearance yesterday, and I'm grateful to your daughter for her bravery and generosity. Their dangerous adventure was quite romantic, I think."

"And I'm sure, under the circumstances, marriage is a good solution. It seems to suit everyone here." Harry smiled.

Bless them, Evan thought. Harry was a kind, if blustery soul, and Jean had a sunny nature that was irresistible to most people around her. He was glad to see Catriona brighten and relax a bit.

"Papa, I need some time to prepare for my wedding," Catriona said. "A few weeks—" She glanced at Evan, and he knew that she thought if there was no child, she could be free of the marriage. But the disgrace would always be with her.

"The wedding is not as important as the marriage," Judith said. "You cannot spend another night in a state of sin."

Aye, Evan thought. He was glad to rescue Catriona MacConn.

* * *

"Kildonan, sir! What an odd day this has been," Arthur Fitzgibbon said as he approached Evan, who was walking on the grounds of the manse.

"Aye, Fitz," Evan said grimly as Arthur fell into step beside him. "Quite a day, I agree."

He said no more as they strolled the path that cut over an expanse of neatly trimmed lawn that sloped downward toward a small loch in the distance. Modest flower gardens spread to either side of the grass, and the graveled path and a few stone steps accommodated the natural incline of the land. The gardens held few flowers this late in autumn, though chrysanthemums, holly bushes, and low evergreens lent good color to the beds.

Behind them, the manse was a stately two-story building of gray stone, its mullioned windows shuttered with heavy draperies. Off to the left, Evan saw the parish church at the edge of the grounds behind some trees, its fieldstone walls and steeple picturesque. Ahead, the smooth surface of the lochan mirrored the dusky twilight. Attracted by the glimpse of mountains on the opposite shore of the loch, Evan walked toward the near shore. Arthur accompanied him, footsteps crushing pebbles.

"Shall I offer congratulations?" Arthur asked.

Evan noted the doubtful tone. "Thank you. I hope you plan to stay for the wedding."

"Of course. Wouldn't miss it," Arthur replied. "Miss MacConn is a charming girl, and one cannot blame her family for wanting this marriage, given the, er, circumstances. But I must say I think it's a mistake for you to do this."