Kissing in the Dark (16 page)

“You’re not fine.”

She swiped her fingers beneath her eyes, telling him she was struggling to hide more tears. The lantern cast a golden glow across her wet skin and the rippling water that blessedly hid her body from him. After glimpsing her breasts, he was relieved he couldn’t see through the murky bath. She needed comfort now, not a sexual proposition. And that’s what he’d want to give her if she unveiled the rest of her beautiful body. He wasn’t a cad, just a man who was fiercely attracted to her.

“Wrap that towel around you so I can come over there.” Her tears wrung his heart, but he wasn’t going near that tub until she was covered, because he’d had her on his mind all the livelong, boring, tedious week he’d been away, and to stumble upon this feast for his eyes was torture. Just knowing she was unclothed, her skin slick with water, drove him crazy.

“Go away.”

“And leave you alone in the dark, crying your heart out? I can’t, Faith. I’m coming over there, so you’d better cover yourself.”

He took one step, but she lifted the sopping towel and threw it at him. It hit him in the chest with a wet splat and landed on his boots. “That badge on your chest doesn’t give you the right to trespass on my privacy, Sheriff. Now get out.”

Her accusation stunned him. “Do you think I’d use my badge to take advantage of you?” he asked, feeling the warm water soak through his shirt.

“Men who have a badge or political title can get away with that. The law doesn’t apply to them.”

“Do you honestly believe that?”

“I don’t believe it, Sheriff. I know it.”

He stared at her, insulted to the core. But she wasn’t being vicious; she was sincere. She really believed all lawmen were cut of the same cloth, that they used their power to manipulate people. Some did, he knew, and that sickened him. But he would turn his revolver on himself before abusing his position.

She crouched in the tub with her arms crossed over her chest and her shoulders and hands peeping above the water. Her hair floated around her in long black strands. But her puffy eyes were dark pools of despair as she returned his stare. Suddenly he realized how vulnerable and scared she must feel, and that somebody from the law had put that fear in her eyes.

“For whatever happened to make you believe I’d manipulate or harm you, I’m sorry. And I’m sorry I disturbed you, but I’m truly relieved to know you’re safe.” He backed out of the room and pulled the door closed to keep her safe from any unsuspecting passerby who might jump to his same stupid conclusion that the building was on fire.

The only thing burning was Faith’s conviction that she couldn’t trust him.

Chapter 14

Faith spotted the sheriff at the back of the church, standing with his brothers and nephews. She was sitting with his mother and sisters-in-law, but he seemed oblivious to her presence.

Her accusation this morning had been unfair. She hadn’t meant to hurt him, but she had. And she felt awful about it, because she knew in her heart Duke Grayson was a man of fierce integrity. The opposite of Judge Stone.

She practiced her apology during the long service, but afterward, when she stepped outside and saw him standing in the Common talking to Wayne Archer and a stocky, bald man, her hopes fell.

She pulled Aster aside. “Will you take Cora and Adam home? I need to talk to the sheriff, and I have no idea how long I’ll have to wait.” But she would wait as long as it took, because she couldn’t let him walk away.

“Take all the time you need.” Aster chucked Cora under the chin. “Did I ever tell you how my hair got white?”

Cora shook her head, rapt.

“I’ll tell you all about it on the way home.”

Faith saw Adam cast a nervous look at the sheriff; then he followed Aster into the crowd.

Tansy, Iris, and Dahlia had joined a group of men and women near the park fountain. Two of the women were customers at the greenhouse. Iris, with her shiny black hair and ivory skin, stood out like an orchid in a field of dandelions, but she was smart and had a playful sense of humor that made people like and accept her. The way men were looking at her, Faith didn’t believe for one minute the woman had never received a marriage proposal. Iris just didn’t want marriage.

Faith didn’t blame her. Marriage was a scary business. One bad investment could ruin your whole life. Anna Levens was proof of that.

Not wanting to interrupt Duke, Faith waited on the fringe of his gathering and tried to catch his eye. His chin was down while he was listening to the bald man talk, but then he nodded and looked up—right into her eyes.

Her heart jolted, but he acted nonchalant as he clapped the short man on the shoulder. “I’ll take care of it,” he said, then stepped away from the men.

She laced her fingers in front of her to keep from fidgeting. “Would you consider walking me home?” she asked when he came to her side.

“I think it would be a good idea.” He gestured for her to precede him through the crowd, but Faith slipped her hand into the crook of his elbow, wanting to show those gathered in the park that she and the sheriff were courting. Maybe then he wouldn’t change his mind about doing so.

He glanced at her in surprise, but escorted her through the park without comment. When they headed down Water Street, Faith slowed their pace.

“I owe you an apology Duke,” For the first time it felt right using his name, because her apology was meant for the man behind the badge. “I’m sorry I insulted your integrity this morning.”

He stopped to face her. “Faith, if you really believe what you said, then I think we should reconsider courting.”

No! Oh, Lord. “I meant it, but not for you. You’re a better man than I accused you of being.”

“So are many of the lawmen I know.”

“My comment was unfair, but not completely unfounded. Some lawmen do use their power to intimidate and manipulate others.” Judge Stone had.

“I know.” He sighed and rolled his shoulder. “And you obviously know one of those men.”

It wasn’t a question, but even if it had been, she wouldn’t answer. “I felt compromised this morning, but I know you’re not like those unscrupulous men,” she said, hoping to smooth over her earlier offense.

“How do you know?” he asked. “Who says I’m not corrupt?”

Years of guarding her virtue from the men who frequented her mother’s brothel intuitively told her that Duke Grayson wasn’t like them. He didn’t lie, cheat, or steal, and he wasn’t corrupt. He was the furthest thing from.

“Your mother told me you weren’t.” She smiled, hoping to dissolve his anger and welcome back the warmth that had been building between them before she’d insulted him.

Humor sparked in his eyes, then faded. “What upset you this morning? It drove me crazy to leave you like that.”

She turned away and resumed walking. He kept pace beside her, and she hooked her hand in the crook of his elbow again. “I was thinking about my mother.”

“I haven’t asked, but have you been without her long?”

His gentle query about her mother’s death made her eyes mist. “Seven weeks,” she said, but it seemed like she’d been without her mother all her life.

“Even after thirteen years it’s hell,” he said thoughtfully. She’d bet. Especially when your grief was all mixed up with guilt and love and hate.

“Sounds like you could use a day away from everything,” he said.

“I could use a day of uninterrupted sleep,” she answered truthfully. “My greenhouse has been swarming with women all week.”

“That’s what my mother said this morning when I went home to change.”

“She came in twice this week,” Faith remarked, feeling a sincere fondness for Nancy Grayson. “I think she was serious about being Iris’s best customer.”

“All her life she’s sacrificed for my father and us boys, and now for her grandchildren. She deserves to treat herself to a massage when she wants one. And you deserve a day-of enjoyment. I have an idea for our first official outing.” They turned left onto Mill Street, but he stopped before they reached the greenhouse. Light shadows underscored his eyes, as if he needed sleep, but his gaze was alert and sincere. “That is, if you’re certain you want me to court you.”

“I’m certain,” she said. She not only wanted him to court her, but to marry her, because she needed to be a better mother to Adam and Cora, and Duke could help her do that. He was a man she could respect and possibly learn to love. She was a woman who would spend the rest of her life trying to bring him happiness. Many marriages were built on far less.

Chapter 15

Faith had never been to a circus, so Duke was taking her and the children to see the show before Van Amburgh moved his act to Mayville in the morning. They rode the street rail from Fredonia to Dunkirk, then watched the circus animals parade down Central Avenue to attract people to the afternoon performance.

“Is it over already?” Cora asked, her voice filled with disappointment as the last caged lion passed by.

“This is only the parade, princess. We’re going to the circus now,” Duke said. As they walked to the fairgrounds, he patiently answered Cora’s endless stream of questions, then paid their admission.

Faith suspected Adam was staying away from Duke because of the incident with the hair brush, but Cora hadn’t detached herself from Duke’s side since he met them at the greenhouse.

He took them to see the sideshows first. Cora’s eyes bugged at the snake lady. The woman sat in a cage playing with an enormous snake that Faith feared would haunt her nightmares, but all of the acts were performed to music that incited everything from fear to excitement.

Adam was enthralled with the sword swallower, and forgot himself so completely, he blurted out that he’d sneaked into the circus in Syracuse right before they moved. “But they didn’t have a sword swallower,” he said, not realizing his mistake.

Faith’s stomach clenched. “You mean the circus in Saratoga,” she said, praying Duke was as interested in the sword swallower as he appeared. “I’d better not hear of you doing anything like that again, Adam.”

He threw a desperate glance at her, and she was sorry to see his joy melt away.

She tried to smile at Duke, but her lips were too stiff to be convincing. “This is my favorite show so far.”

“Mine too,” he said casually. Too casually. She looked away so he wouldn’t ask questions she couldn’t answer.

When the act finished, they circled the grounds. Duke bought them pork sandwiches for a late lunch, then treated them to ice cream.

“Thank you,” Adam said, but he kept his head down while he ate. Cora licked her spoon and savored her ice cream with such pleasure, Faith admitted to Duke that they’d never had the frozen treat before. “My mother couldn’t afford admission to events like the circus.” At least that’s what her mother had led them to believe. But when Faith found her mother’s guest book, she’d also found a surprising amount of money. Between her mother’s stash, her own savings, and her aunts’ combined money, they had been able to escape Syracuse. What Faith couldn’t understand was, why her mother had stayed. Why, when she had some savings, hadn’t she escaped like Faith and her aunts had after her death?

Cora stopped eating. “Grandma said we’re going to have a real home someday with a big porch and lots of roses around it.”

Faith had heard that litany all her life, but it had been an empty promise. She had accepted that years ago, but it hurt that Cora was innocent enough to believe it. And it hurt that they had gone without so much when her mother had money hidden away.

Duke pulled a white, folded handkerchief from his pocket and swiped a drip of ice cream off Cora’s chin.

“I’m going to have a pony at our house,” the little girl added.

That simple declaration made Faith want marriage more than anything. She wanted a man who could make some of their dreams come true because, God help her, she couldn’t do it on her own.

Cora stuck her tongue out to lick the ice cream bowl, but Faith took it from her. Cora’s expression fell. “I couldn’t get the rest with my spoon,” she complained.

Faith looked at the bowl, but it was empty. She tilted it so Cora could see inside. “Honey, it’s gone.”

“Here,” Adam said, offering his last bite to Cora, who snapped it up like a turtle.

“Have either of you had peanut brittle?” Duke asked.

“Yes, sir.” Adam ducked his head again, and Faith squinted at him. Why was he acting so nervous?

“Let’s go get a sack of it for you to take home.”

“Can we get some for Aunt Iris and Aunt Tansy and Aunt Aster and Aunt Dahlia too?” Cora asked.

Duke’s laugh washed over Faith. She could get used to that deep, warm sound. He slapped his thighs and got to his feet. “Come on, princess, I’ll buy some for everyone.”

Faith returned their bowls to the ice cream vendor, then hooked her arm around Adam’s shoulder, lingering behind Duke and Cora. “What’s wrong with you today?” she asked.

“Nothing.”

Which meant it was serious. “Are you feeling all right?”

“I’m fine.”

Which meant he wasn’t. “I’m getting the feeling that you don’t like Sheriff Grayson.”

“He doesn’t like me.”

She tugged him to a stop. “He’s been kind to you from the moment you met him.”

“He thinks I’m a criminal.”

She laughed. “Adam, the sheriff knows the difference between a boy who takes a hair brush without paying for it, and a man who robs a bank or kills someone.”

“He told me stealing is theft, and that theft is a crime punishable by law. That means he thinks I’m a criminal.”

Duke couldn’t be that literal. Could he? “It means he was trying to teach you a lesson and make you understand that what you did was wrong. Just like sneaking into a circus without paying.” She squeezed his shoulder. “I know why you did those things, Adam, but it’s wrong.”

“I know. And I’m sorry about taking the brush because I like Mrs. Brown.”

“From what I hear, she likes you too.”

“I paid off my bill yesterday, but she wants me to work after school a couple of days a week.”

He said it like it was unimportant, but Faith could hear the pride in his voice. “I’m not surprised, Adam. You’re a strong, smart boy who deserves a job where you can earn a little money for yourself.”