Authors: R.J. Lewis
You’ll be disappointed by the answer
He drew circles around my clit, slowly stroking me. Pinned down with no control, I did nothing but ride it out. I gripped his hair as he continued to torment me, sucking and swirling until I couldn’t take it anymore. I gasped and my body went tight as the orgasm tore through me.
Fuck, would this ever get old?
His tongue continued stroking me for several more seconds before he gave me a kiss on the stomach and moved up to lay beside me.
“You still seeing stars, beauty?” he asked, pressing his lips along the base of my neck as I stared up at the ceiling in a daze.
“I don’t think I’ve stopped seeing stars with you since the moment I met you,” I let out breathlessly.
“You and me both,” he murmured in my ear as his hand trailed down the front of my body and settled between my thighs.
“You’ve ruined it. It’s not working anymore.”
His fingers roamed up and down my wet sex. “Not feeling anything?”
“I’m all numb after that. Back to back orgasms are really exhausting. That whole five orgasms in one sitting that I read about is so full of shit.”
He chuckled. “Five? That might be possible.”
“No, it’s not.”
“See, now you’re telling me it’s not possible, which means I’m taking it as a challenge. And you know how I am with challenges –”
“You always have to win, I know.”
So now that he was a man on a mission, he continued to stroke me, waiting for that lick of pleasure to come back to me. No matter how sexy he was naked, I really was dead down there.
“Did um…” Hmm, how was I going to word this? “Did you like going down on me just now?”
I turned my head to him, meeting those grey mischievous eyes.
“Have I ever not?” he asked, spreading my legs wide open for better access.
I ran a hand through my hair, splaying some over my cheeks to hide my blush, and I said, “I’ve been reading those women’s magazines –”
“I know, you’ve left some behind. Weird shit in there, little lady.”
I let out a laugh. “Yeah, well, anyway, there was this section about oral sex, and some chick was asking how to make her, um, you know, down there –”
“Her cunt?”
God, he’s vulgar.
“Her
hoo ha
,” I corrected him sharply.
Those plump lips of his curved up. “Right. Her hoo ha. Continue then.”
Where the hell was I? Oh, right
.
“So she was asking how to make her hoo
ha taste better during oral sex. And they recommended –”
“
Who
recommended?”
“The sex advice people, or whatever.”
“Right, the ‘sex advice people, or whatever’. Of course.”
I ignored the humour in his voice and continued. “And they recommended she eat a lot of yogurt.
Anyway, I thought that was interesting advice. Emily thought so too. So we’ve been eating a lot of yogurt.”
His jaw locked up. He was trying not to laugh. “Okay.”
“Which brings me to now. Has it… tasted differently?”
He licked
his lips and thought for a moment. “You know, I wasn’t paying attention. I might have to have another taste of you to know for sure.”
“What? No –”
But he was already there beneath the covers. He licked me and shot back up, a look of surprise in his eyes as he exclaimed, “Holy hell, the ‘sex advice people, or whatever’ were right. Tastes like strawberry yogurt.”
I giggled and shook my head. “I’ve only been eating mango.”
“They taste the same, don’t they?”
“No, they don’t actually. Not at all.”
He laughed and dipped his head, kissing me harshly, purposely invading my mouth with his tongue in a possessive kiss. “Well go on then,” he said huskily, “taste yourself on my tongue. Do you taste mango?”
“No.”
He rubbed his nose to mine. “Then you have your answer. Bullshit advice. I think I should ban the magazines from your life. Might do you good.”
“It’s not my fault for being curious.”
“Well, thank you for five minutes of incredibly interesting conversation with me. Yogurt tasting pussies was fun to talk about –”
I smacked him on the back. “Asshole.”
He laughed again, pressing his body against mine and stealing away my breath as he kissed me again. “Yeah, but
your
asshole, right?”
“Since the moment I kissed you on the train.”
“Absolutely. I thought about you every day after that kiss.”
My chest
tightened as I searched his face. “So why did it take you so long to reach out to me?”
“First tell me why you kissed me.”
“You’ll be disappointed by the answer.”
“Try me.”
I paused for a moment. Then I said, “It was a game Emily and I played. We’d pick dare cards every other month. My dare that day in that moment was to kiss a stranger.”
His eyebrows shot
up. “Really? So it wasn’t because I was irresistible after all.”
“But you were, and the kiss was the best I’d ever had in my life,” I told him truthfully.
He nodded vaguely and moved off of me. Settling on his back, he stared up at the ceiling with a faraway look on his face. Had I really disappointed him? Was he upset? I supposed I would be too if I realized I was some dare.
“
I regretted not stepping off the train with you,” he suddenly said. “For a few hours I was incredibly angry at myself. I put business first when I should have followed my instincts. So when I found the wallet in my pocket, I thought I’d hit the lottery.”
He sought my hand out from beneath the covers and entwined his fingers with mine.
“I looked at your photo every day. My life was all travel and turbulent as hell. I tried my best not to get attached to a bloody photo, but I did. I remembered the way you were on that train. The fire in your green eyes, the smile on your lips, the way you screamed attention. After a while, I got too curious for my own good, and a photo wasn’t enough to appease me. I looked you up online and found your Facebook page. It was crawling with pictures and smarmy men, so at least I wasn’t the only one stalking you.”
“When was this?” I asked, stunned.
“A few weeks after.”
“You should have reached out. I was thinking about you the most around that time.”
He rubbed his face exhaustedly. “I hate what my life’s become, Claire. That’s the truth. It reached the pinnacle of shit when I was abroad. The only thing keeping me grounded was looking at your photos. Seeing you smile. I felt pathetic for being attached to a stranger, but it didn’t feel like you were one to me. I’d already decided I was going to see you again when I returned. It was just a matter of when.
“But
then one night I checked in on you again, and you were gone. The page had been taken down and you’d disappeared. Either something had happened to you, or you’d just outgrown the social scene. My guess wasn’t the latter. You’d been outgoing until the very end. So I bided my time until I got back and wanted to see for myself what had gone wrong. And, well, now I know, don’t I?”
I nodded vaguely, reminiscing about the moment I deleted my page.
“I only had it up for attention. After a childhood of moving around nonstop, never making any friends, and then having a father that was no longer around, I was practically begging for attention. It was only after what happened that I didn’t want it anymore. Because that attention was like a devil in disguise.
“I was one of those girls on there that would change her profile picture every single day. I’d get dolled up in some skimpy outfit. It’s hilarious now that I think about it.”
“I enjoyed those daily photos,” he replied happily. “But nothing was better than your pictures at the Royal Show. All sopping wet, your make-up running down your face, but you had the biggest smile –”
“You’re referring to the shit photos Emily tagged me in to be a little wench.”
“I’ll have to thank her then.”
“Don’t go near her. She’ll hump your leg, I’m sure.” Emily was infatuated with Ben. Every time they crossed paths she was all over him.
He wasn’t interested at all, so her advances were funny to watch, and I knew she was doing it in jest.
“Don’t worry about your friend,” he said. “I only have eyes for you.”
Ben was really talented with words when he wanted to be. He could make my entire day with just one simple line like that. I savoured them because while he was affectionate with his hands and mouth, he was usually reserved about his feelings.
He trailed his thumb over my scars again, something he did when he was reflecting. I learned to stop cringing when he touched that side of my face. It helped me to overcome how conscious I was of them when he was always
acknowledging their existence.
“Can I ask you a question, Claire?”
he said seriously.
“Of course.”
“When I first started getting to know you, every morning you’d rush off to the bathroom. It’s been less lately, but you still do it. I don’t like that it happens, and I know by the way you hurry that it’s not coming out intentionally. Is there something I should about with you health-wise? Because I’d hate for you to be sick when I could be doing something about it.”
I wrapped an arm around him and kissed him gently. “Well, thank you for worrying about me, but it’s not happening as often. They’re panic attacks. After I got attacked, every morning I’d wake up feeling like I was back there. That fear made my body react, and I’d throw up as a result. Sometimes I feel lightheaded instead.”
He was very concerned. “Maybe you should see someone.”
“I saw a counsellor for a while, but it wasn’t doing much. And the doctors just wanted to put me on medication. Thing is, I don’t feel it throughout the day. Just in the mornings, and it’s been happening less than before, so I think I’m getting a bit better.”
He frowned. “I just don’t want it to happen at all, period.”
“Me neither.”
We continued to lay there for a while after. He continued to run his fingers over my scars reverently, and it was when I started to fall asleep the sound of ringing tore through the silence. I jerked awake and watched him fumble out of the sheets. Naked, he bent down and took his phone out of the pocket of his pants. The screen’s light shone on his face, and I could see the frown forming deeply on it.
“I have to take this,” he said in a grim voice, disappearing into the next room.
I didn’t like when he got called. It usually happened this late at night, and it always took him to different rooms. Sometimes I wanted to eavesdrop to get an idea of what was going on, but I reminded myself that ignorance was bliss. My life was too perfect, and if I had the control to stop it from falling apart, I wasn’t about to sabotage it.
I fell asleep minutes later.
He likes broken things
It was a distant slam
that woke me up in the middle of the night. I stretched my arm out and reached for Ben, but I met empty air. I sat up in bed and fetched his plain tee off the ground where he’d thrown it earlier. I put it on and tip-toed out of the room.
I followed the sound of light voices and stopped at the top of the stairs.
“And this is why I don’t leave you in charge,” hissed Ben.
“I beg to differ,” retorted a male voice. “You don’t leave me in charge because you simply don’t want to. It’s an ego thing for you.”
“Bloody ridiculous, Jamie. You’re paranoid.”
“Oh, so this isn’t because you hate my guts for what I did to you?”
“I don’t care about what you did to me.”
A rueful laugh sounded out in return. “Right.”
“Why are you even here? Shouldn’t you be trying to fix your fucked-up relationship instead of bumming a bed off a man you crossed?”
“It’s not a relationship.”
“Yeah, yeah. Keep denying it. Stupid
and
paranoid.”
“Not paranoid, and you can’t use that as an excuse not to put me in charge.”
“Maybe that time’s coming, and maybe it’s not. Prove yourself first.”
I descended the staircase when their conversation died down. It was approaching the living area that I spotted Ben standing in front of the window, peering out with his arms crossed. His stiff demeanour told me he was in a shitty mood. Since the time I saw Macht, he’d never displayed that intimidating behaviour around me again. But it was in full force now.
I turned my head to the source of the other voice. On the black leather couch was a sprawled out body of a young man. I knew straightaway this was his brother. He had the same thick black hair, pale skin, and tall body. He was in a leather jacket and jeans, looking like a rougher version of Ben.
“I
have
proven myself,” he muttered tiredly with his eyes closed. “And I don’t see what the problem is. It’s perfect timing. You’ve gone AWOL for a couple months now. I could be taking care of the business while giving you all the time in the world with the half-naked girl standing at the end of the room right now.”
Ah, shit.
Ben’s body whipped around, catching me with a startled look on his face. He hurried to me.
“Sorry,” I immediately said, backing up a step. “I didn’t mean –”
“Did I wake you?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I answered. “It’s alright. I should have waited for you instead of coming down here and interrupting you.”
“It’s fine,” he reassured me. “We were just finishing up now anyway. Weren’t we, Jamie?”
Jamie chuckled sardonically before sitting up on the couch. His movements were slow, giving away how drunk he was. He looked over at me, roaming those eyes over every inch of me.
“I didn’t know you liked jailbait, brother,” he remarked.
“I’m not jailbait,” I snapped at him in shock.
“When did you graduate high school, sweetheart? Yesterday?”
“
I skipped a grade, I’ll have you know. And I’m twenty one and graduating
College
!”
Jamie chuckled for real this time. “Your body has some catching up to do, then.”
My jaw dropped in shock.
“Shut it, Jamie,” Ben snapped, glaring at him before turning to me. “My dickhead brother’s just trying to wind you up. He does that often. Don’t take it personally.”
Jamie smiled, and it lit up his entire face. Well, shit, he was actually better looking than Ben in a pretty boy kind of way, and I felt suddenly severely under dressed.
“I’m only joking. Fuck. Bunch of nuns in this apartment.” He looked me over again and said slowly, “She’s pretty. Prettier than Melinda. I’m impressed, Ben. After that dry spell, I thought you were secretly batting for the other team. What’s this one’s name?”
“This one?” I gaped at Ben in bewilderment. “Your asshole brother thinks he can talk to me like this and get away with it?”
Ben sighed, showing his brother remarkable patience and explained, “He’s not usually like this. Not until he gets on the drink.”
Jamie stood up from the couch and meandered over to us. Looking between the two brothers, it was hard to decide who I wanted to look at the most. Their similarities were startling, but there were noticeable differences. Ben carried himself confidently, whereas Jamie was arrogant all around, reminding me of a sly snake nestled in the bushes, waiting to strike.
“Did he tell you about me?” he asked, eyeing the two of us with his hazy blue eyes.
“Get back on the couch,” Ben demanded. “The only way you’re spending the night is if you’re on that couch in five seconds, or else I’m kicking you back out.”
Jamie merely blinked at this threat and said to me, “Did he tell you I’m the fuck-up brother? The one that’s incapable of simple shit like exchanging briefcases under some bridge in plain sight –”
Ben suddenly shoved him back. “On the fucking couch, Jamie, and keep your fucking mouth shut.”
He listened, albeit with a gleeful look on his face. He collapsed back onto the couch and not a moment later passed before his snores sounded out.
“I’m sorry for this,” Ben told me, staring at his brother with a look of wild bitterness. “He’s worn out his welcome with somebody. When he does this, he usually crashes here, until he’s back in their good graces.”
“He’s a bit of an asshole, isn’t he?”
Ben’s smile didn’t reach his eyes. “Jamie can be the nicest person you’ve ever met, or your worst nightmare. Sometimes he’s both. Don’t take anything he says to heart. He likes to see how far he can push someone.”
Turning to face me, he took a step back and
really
looked at me. “You’re in just a shirt.”
I shrugged. “I thought it was just you down here, and then I forgot about… this.” I motioned to the shirt that was barely skimming my upper thighs.
His body tensed. He closed his eyes and breathed through his nose. “I’m feeling incredibly possessive right now, and I’m not sure that’s normal.”
I bit my bottom lip to keep from smiling. “Why are you feeling possessive?”
“Because I hate that you were half naked in front of somebody else, particularly my douchebag brother who will have without a doubt put his moves on you if I wasn’t here.”
“Then that’s normal,” I reassured him softly. “And I’d never have let him work any kind of moves on me.”
“He has a habit of being very charming.”
“Then it’s good I saw his asshole side first.”
He stepped to me and wrapped his arms around my waist. With a soft kiss he said, “I’m going to grab him a blanket. Be right back. We’ll grab some munchies before we get back to bed. I’m wide awake now.”
“Me too.”
He hurried back up the staircase and disappeared from view. I watched Jamie sleeping for a few moments before I wandered to the window. There was no life stirring below. No cars roaming the streets. It looked eerily black, even for this hour.
I pressed my forehead against the glass and was lost in thought when he said, “I’m not surprised he likes you.”
I turned around, narrowing my eyes at the brother who appeared wide awake now. Had he faked sleeping?
“Why aren’t you surprised?” I asked him, feeling incredibly distrustful of him.
Jamie stared about my face, and his lips curved up. “He likes broken things.”
My heart skipped a beat. “What do you mean?”
He didn’t answer. Just kept staring at me with an intensity that was unnerving. Then when he heard the sound of footsteps approaching, he shut his eyes and parted his lips and pretended to be asleep again. Just like I thought.
He was a snake.
A very intriguing one.
Ben threw a thin blanket over his asshole brother’s body. I thought about telling him the shady bastard was awake, but for some reason I didn’t. Ben took my hand and led me into the kitchen. I turned my head back before we disappeared just in time to see Jamie’s lips forming a cheeky, closed lip smile.
*****
The next morning I made sure to be appropriately dressed for breakfast. I had bagels with cream cheese while Ben cooked up bacon for himself. Jamie joined us after the food was done (conveniently good timing) and grabbed himself a plate.
I watched him take a seat across from me, loading his plate up with the bacon Ben had left in the centre of the island.
“How are we this morning?” Ben asked with a hard voice. “Sober, I hope?”
Jamie looked like a mess, his hair even shaggier and all over the place than Ben’s. His white plain tee was ruffled, and I spotted some heavily tattooed arms now that he wasn’t wearing his jacket.
But regardless of his messy state, he smiled apologetically and said, “I am, and I sincerely apologize for my ill conduct to you and your girlfriend, Benjamin.”
Bloody hell, these Costigan boys sure had manners. Their mother may have raised them well, but that didn’t stop me from looking at Jamie suspiciously. He could be genuine, or he could be laughing at us too. It was hard to tell with this one.
“And may I formally introduce myself.” His hand reached out over the table. “I’m James Costigan – Jamie for short.”
I glanced at Ben’s equally wary face before shaking his hand. “Claire.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Claire.”
“You too.”
I guess.
“How long have you two been seeing each other?” he then asked curiously.
“A few months,” I answered.
“That’s very nice,” he remarked, eyeing Ben carefully.
For a minute they just looked at each other, some kind of unspoken communication going on. I felt like I was interrupting something, and was about to sneak off when a cell phone erupted from the kitchen counter.
Ben stood up and retrieved his phone. He briefly glanced at the number on the screen before picking up with a snippy, “What?”
He listened for a few moments, his brows knitting together. “Got it.”
He got off and slammed the phone down on the counter heatedly and gripped the counter with one hand so hard his knuckles whitened.
“Is everything alright?” I asked him.
His head dropped, and he looked at the tile floor for a moment. “I um… have some business to get around to. I’m going to need to fly out tomorrow morning.”
I didn’t reply because I knew this had something to do with what he wanted me to be oblivious about. He infrequently went away. Sometimes it was for a night. Sometimes it was two. But never had I seen him so bothered by it until now.
“Is everything alright?” Jamie tentatively asked. It was said in a different manner to mine, sparking an equally different reaction this time.
“I don’t like the people I’m dealing with at the moment,” Ben answered, before he glanced at me and stopped himself from saying more.