Kingdom Woman: Embracing Your Purpose, Power, and Possibilities (7 page)

I’ve discovered that my best days are the ones when I arise early to get myself together before the troops converge, and when I go to bed later than everyone else
to make sure that things are at a good starting place for tomorrow. Believe me, I do not prefer to wake first and sleep last. However, it seems to be the key to having a smooth day.

Today, for example, I began cooking dinner shortly after finishing breakfast. Putting a chicken in the Crock-Pot made my dinner prep all of thirty minutes at 6:00
PM
. Making gravy, roasting potatoes, cooking rice, and throwing together a salad was almost effortless. I also made a menu for the rest of the week, which allowed me to make my grocery list, which made it possible to get in and out of the grocery store in thirty minutes. Being semi-dressed (dressed but not glamorous) before my crew arose allowed me to be somewhat composed when my doorbell rang. These are small things in which I strive for excellence, and yet they are huge in return when I can sigh at the end of the day because I realize that I’ve given my all.

A day like today shines in comparison to other days when I have been down, behind, hungry, discombobulated, and stressed. Most of those times involve my indulgent self-pity about how hard things are as a woman pulled in so many directions and needed by so many people.

Deciding to take my home and family on like a kingdom woman and not cowering under the weight of the tedious and mundane make the flow of my day so much easier.

If I stare back in time too long, I’ll find things that I wish I had done better or cringe at all of the things I opted not to do at all. Looking in the rearview mirror of yesterday, I see lots of “would haves,” “could haves,” and “should haves.” But those years are spent. They are gone. How I used that time is how I used it, and I can’t go back.

But I can take a step forward into a brighter tomorrow.

Each day I am blessed to live gives me another day to press on and do the best I can with what I have. It gives me another day to live as a woman of excellence. No, most people will never know how many loads of laundry I do in a year,
how many spills I clean up, or how many homeschool lessons I prepare and grade. But God knows. He knows my every move, and He has created me to make my every move in a spirit that is nothing less than excellent. He knows the same about you, too.

Often, the life of a woman—young or old, married or single, presents opportunities to perform thankless jobs in many ways. The temptation is there to pull back or just get by. But when I start to think that way, I remember my aunt and the example she has always lived in excellence. Never married, she dedicated herself solely to the Lord and has given herself to be “Auntie” to her nieces and nephews and now her great-nieces and great-nephews in so many ways. She also dedicated herself to starting and running the children’s program at our church for decades—while simultaneously getting her PhD. She is a woman of excellence, and when asked what motivates her to be that way, she will reply, “Because of that day.”

“That day” is her reference to the day that she expects to stand before Jesus and the day He will test the quality of her work. The truth is that we all will face “that day,” and if the service we have offered Him is excellent, we will hear those blessed words, “Well done, good and faithful servant. . . . Enter into the joy of your master” (Matthew 25:23,
ESV
).

I want to hear those words. I want what I do and what I have done to make Jesus smile on that day. A life of excellence isn’t easy. There aren’t always accolades, especially when you choose to make important the things that are important to the Lord. But there will be one very meaningful accolade on “that day.”

Where does the Lord prick your heart to do more, go further, or raise the bar? While my challenge is in the grind of motherhood, it is not the only place where excellence in womanhood is required. On your job, are you content to keep the status quo or do you go the extra mile in your daily responsibilities? In your appearance, are you satisfied with the way you are, or are you aiming to be healthier? Do you do the best you can with what you have to represent your Savior when you step out the door? What about your marriage? Are you settling for a comfortable coexistence with your husband, or do you put your best foot forward in an effort to have a heavenly marriage here on earth? If you desire marriage and are waiting on God to answer the desire of your heart, what are you doing with your time? Are you using your time for His glory, or are you merely marking time or wondering how much longer your biological clock will tick? While you wait on a mate, are you seizing
every opportunity God brings to use your time, talents, and resources to further the kingdom? That question is not just for the single woman; it is for the retired woman, the content woman, or the woman who feels that she has arrived.

“But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord” (2 Corinthians 3:18,
KJV
). Excellence on earth is not a destination; it is a continual process of transformation into who God wants us to be. The excellence He desires from us is not a level of superiority or distinction that we can achieve on our own either. Our treasure is not in our “earthen vessels,” but it is in the excellence of His power in us (2 Corinthians 4:7,
KJV
).

Excellent is what we will be when we are made perfect in the next life. However, in the meantime, our job is to strive for the excellence the Father has revealed to us in the season of life that we are in, in the context of our lives right now. And as we commit to pursue this life, the life of an excellent woman, the Father transforms us into the likeness of His Son.

Psalm 16:11 says, “You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.” Choosing excellence now is to choose the fruit of joy and pleasure in days to come.

When we choose excellence, God gets the glory.

When we choose excellence, we benefit from walking in the fullness of His joy on earth and investing in the pleasures of eternity in heaven.

So, my friend, choose the excellent way. And do so not for the reasons that you can see but for the things which are not seen and that are eternal (2 Corinthians 4:18).

Full Destiny

To be excellent is to be more than just one of the crowd. It is to live in a way that sets you apart as special and unique. Just as Chrystal said and Phoebe lived her life, what you do and how you do it draws the attention of others to
the glory of God. Like Ruth, it positions you into the fullest manifestation of your destiny. You’ll never be excellent if you make the world your standard. A kingdom woman knows her true value and shows the reflection of how God sees her. She makes God’s standard her own in all that she does.

Think about it in terms of one of the least-thanked groups in our society: the trash collectors. It’s not what you would call a high-class job. However, in New York back in 1990 and again in 2006, the trash collectors went on strike.
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All of a sudden, these typically overlooked and unseen individuals became the most significant people in the city because the whole city realized how much it needed them.

Much of what comes in the life of a kingdom woman will not make the headlines. For much of what you do, you may never receive thanks. People may only notice when you are not there or you don’t do it. But that reality doesn’t change your significance. You are a rare find, a precious jewel. As a kingdom woman, you have the virtue of excellence, and although you may not hear it as much as you want, or even as much as you should, those around you need you.

Your family needs you.

Your church needs you.

Your community needs you.

In fact, the world needs you. As a kingdom woman, you have been uniquely designed to fulfill a life of excellence.

4

Some people have suggested that history would have been considerably different if the three wise men had actually been three wise women. Since that’s not what happened, the best we can do is conjecture what might have occurred if three wise women welcomed the baby Jesus rather than the three wise men.

If it had been the
wise women
rather than the
wise men
, some say that the wise women would have asked for directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned the stable, made a casserole, and brought practical gifts from Babies“R”Us—including diapers, wipes, bibs, and formula.

There is no doubt that women, as a gender, are greatly gifted. Multitasking to a woman often comes as easy as solo-tasking to a man. Research shows us that women are often more spiritually inclined than men as well. According to the Pew Research Center’s Forum on Religion and Public Life in its analysis of the US Religious Landscape Survey, women are

• more likely than men to be affiliated with a religion,
  
• more likely than men to pray daily,
  
• more likely than men to believe in God, and
  
• more likely than men to regularly attend worship services.
  [24]
  

Women seem to have it together, making the most of their days and the gifts God has given to them. Yet even though women are frequently skilled in the art of managing life situations and achieving results, sometimes the challenges can be too much. That’s true for anyone. Life can throw curve balls.
Or maybe it’s not a curve ball at all. Maybe it’s just that life keeps throwing fastballs—one after another. And the challenges start to pile up on top of each other, making it easy to feel that you will never be free from the stress, pain, or emptiness that can occur when you have depleted all of your natural resources while trying to manage each and every thing.

When this happens, it is easy to want to throw in the towel. But others’ lives depend on the functioning and well-being of a woman who is juggling so much. Even if you throw in the towel, life still keeps throwing challenges at you. You have to address the trials.

A Woman Who Didn’t Throw in the Towel

The next woman I want to look at was a capable woman who may have thought she had it good at one point. This woman’s saga shows up in the Old Testament. Now, I realize that the Old Testament may seem distant from the situations of today, but what was recorded in this part of the Bible is for our benefit: “Now these things happened to them as an example, but they were written down for our instruction” (1 Corinthians 10:11,
ESV
). The Old Testament is a relevant book even though the stories may seem out of date to our contemporary world. The Bible stories offer us principles that transcend time—spiritual principles to guide our lives even today.

The kingdom woman I want us to look at is in 2 Kings 4. While we don’t know much about her, we do know she was wise, because when she found herself in a predicament beyond her own abilities to solve, she sought out the local prophet.

We also know that this woman had been married. To be married during biblical times was a source not only of security but also of dignity. In addition to that, she had been fruitful. Scripture tells us that this woman had children. She had been blessed by the best.

Then out of the blue, her life was turned upside down. Her husband died. She lost the steady income that he had provided, so she tried to find a way to feed and clothe her children on her own, but soon the debts began to pile up. When the debts piled up, as was the custom in her culture, the creditors then had a right to come seize her two children to have them work as slaves to pay off what she owed.

There is probably no greater pain that a woman can feel than seeing someone mess with her children and not being able to protect or shield them. I can’t imagine the grief in this woman’s heart as she thought about her precious two children soon being used, misused, and most likely abused as slaves. That will bring out the mama bear in any kingdom woman, for sure.

We are looking at a woman who was dealing with several layers of pain all at the same time. No doubt she experienced emotional pain because of the loss of her husband and the fear of losing her children. She had now become a suffering single parent.

In addition to that, she experienced financial pain. “The creditor has come to take my two children to be his slaves” (2 Kings 4:1,
ESV
). The bills kept piling up while the creditors kept calling. She had no husband or money and was about to lose her children. For anyone, that would be too much to handle.

To add insult to injury, she was also in physical pain. She was hungry. “Your servant has nothing in the house except a jar of oil” (verse 4:2). If all she had was a jar of oil, then she definitely didn’t have any food. Have you ever been hungry? It is less likely in our country to find someone who truly knows what it means to be hungry. But still today around the world, people go to bed completely hungry.

Even in this woman’s emotional, financial, and physical pain, she faced an ever-greater pain. She was in spiritual pain. She revealed something important about her deceased husband: “Your servant my husband is dead, and you know that your servant
feared the
LORD
” (verse 4:1). Nothing is worse than fearing God and yet not being able to locate Him when you need Him the most. That is true spiritual suffering.

Her husband had feared the Lord, and they had been a God-fearing family. Not only had God allowed her husband’s life to end, but now this woman was at risk of losing her children as well. I would not be surprised if doubts ran
across her mind, questioning God. If this is what living a God-fearing life gets you, then why do it?

If I took a poll right now of everyone reading this book, how many of you would say you know what it is like to be in spiritual pain? You know what it is like for life’s situations to not add up. You know what it is like to feel as though the God who says He will never leave you or forsake you doesn’t seem to be around.

You’ve been serving Him, obeying Him, seeking Him, giving to Him, worshipping Him, and helping those He loves. You’ve been doing the
do
of the Christian life. And it’s likely that you’ve been doing it from a sincere heart. Yet you can’t pay the bills. You feel alone. You are hurting. And what’s worse, you can’t seem to find God anywhere.

Maybe you can’t identify with every pain that the woman in 2 Kings 4 faced, but my guess is that you can identify with one. I’ve counseled way too many people over nearly forty years of ministry to not acknowledge that this is often a common thread in the lives of those who are hurting. The question I’ve heard a lot is “Where is God when I need Him most?”

My reply is always the same: When God is silent, He is not still. God does some of His best work in the dark. He does some of His best work when you don’t think He’s doing a thing. He’s behind the scenes, working it out. He is faithful even though you feel you cannot see Him.

He has a plan for you, and it is a good one. Your commitment in the dark is the path to your victory in the light. Commitment to keeping your faith, seeking God, and not throwing in the towel when no human solution is in sight is the secret to exchanging emptiness for abundance.

The Prophet and the Plan

A prophet in the Bible was someone who spoke on behalf of God. A prophet was God’s voice to humanity. His duty was to say what God was saying. He
was not simply a teacher. A teacher can take God’s Word and say, “This is what God means,” as he explains God’s truth. But a prophet was more than a teacher because a prophet would not only be able to say, “This is what God means,” but would also be able to apply the words of God to a specific situation. A prophet could tell you what God was saying as it related directly to you. It was not the Word of God in abstract form. Rather, it was the Word of God for a unique scenario or need. When a prophet spoke to someone specifically, it was God’s Word with that person’s name written right on it.

Have you ever been to a church service when it seemed like what the preacher was teaching could have had your name written all over it? You felt like no one else was even in the room; the message was directly aimed and spoken just for you. That is when the Holy Spirit has taken God’s Word and turned it into a prophetic word for your situation.

Why did the woman in 2 Kings 4 go to the prophet? She went to him because she was in a situation that only God could fix. Have you ever been in a situation that only God can fix? You’ve tried everything that you can think of to fix it, but nothing has worked.

If you are in or have been in a situation like that, it is most likely that God has you exactly where He wants you. Sometimes God lets you be in a situation that only He can fix, so you will discover that He is the One who can fix it.

You will never discover that God is all you need until you get to the place where God is all you have. When you’ve been reduced beyond your own abilities to make things work. When the bank won’t give you the loan. When your friends won’t answer the phone. When you’ve talked to every person you can think of, and no one is intervening on your behalf. When the doctors can’t pinpoint what is ailing you. You are in a situation that is beyond you and even beyond those who are around you. That is where this woman in the Bible was, so she went straight to the prophet.

She needed a word just for her. She didn’t need a sermon, a Bible study, or
a song. She needed a
rhema
—a word with her name on it. In Scripture, God communicates different ways. A
logos
is a general word to all believers.
[25]
Yet a
rhema
is a specific utterance with a specific situation or person in mind. This woman went to the prophet because she needed a word just for her situation, a
rhema
.
[26]

The prophet replied with a
rhema
just for her; however, when he did, he raised an interesting question. He didn’t answer the way it seemed like he should answer. Instead, he asked a question of his own, “What shall I do for you? Tell me; what have you in the house?” (2 Kings 4:2,
ESV
). It’s an odd question. In fact, it’s a question on top of a question. First, Elisha asked, “What shall I do for you?” But he didn’t give her enough time to answer before he asked, “What have you in the house?”

The first question became even more critical in its meaning once he followed it up with the second question. The prophet was making it known that in coming to him, the woman wasn’t going to get an ordinary answer. The key word in the first question is
I
. In referring to himself, he set up his next question.

His next question did not consist of polite words. By asking it, he let the widow know that by coming to him, she shouldn’t expect what everyone else would offer as solutions. He was not going to do what her friends, family, or neighbors would have tried to do.

Instead, Elisha brought up what could look like another problem in and of itself. He highlighted her insufficiency by asking what she had in her home. The woman didn’t deflect the odd question. She knew that his reply wasn’t going to consist of the expected. So she replied frankly, “Your servant has
nothing
in the house except
a jar of oil
.”

“Exactly,” Elisha responded (in a loose translation). Then he proceeded to tell her just what he wanted her to do with that “nothing” plus one “jar of oil.”

Not only did Elisha want her to experience her own nothingness, but he also specifically told her to go gather from her neighbors their “empty jars” as
well. He didn’t tell her to go collect their oil. He told her to collect their “nothing” too. In doing so, he essentially increased the volume of her emptiness by magnifying it.

I don’t know about you, but to me that sounds like a crazy bit of advice. The widow told the prophet that she had nothing in her house, and he told her to go collect everyone else’s nothingness as well. Going from bad to worse, he then told her that after she collected her neighbors’ empty pots, pans, and buckets, she was to take her one measly jar of oil and fill up their jars with her own. She was to pour what little oil she had out of her one jar and put it into someone else’s. The request was illogical at best and insane at worst.

But he was the prophet, and he had given a
rhema
from the Lord to the widow. It was up to her to decide whether she was going to commit to his instructions in faith or abandon the mission altogether. After all, he didn’t give her a solution that she could follow partially. Once she stepped out her door; walked the dirt path over to her first neighbor’s home; entered her neighbor’s dwelling; asked for pots, pans, and buckets; and stacked them all to carry them back home, word would be out about what she was doing. Either she needed to follow his instructions through to completion or she would be a laughing stock to those in her neighborhood as well as a disappointment to the prophet.