Kingdom of Lies (Imp Series Book 7) (22 page)

“Guess we’ll have to kill him,” I announced.

“No!” Nyalla gasped. Yeah, the girl who whacked a kitten halfway across Macy’s with a nine iron was appalled at the idea of me killing the thing.

“Then what do you suggest?” I’ll admit my tone was a bit more sarcastic than I usually used with her, but I was hungry, tired, short-tempered, and in desperate need of an alcoholic beverage.

The girl pursed her lips, tapping her cheek with a finger as she eyed the sleeping ball of fluff. “Take it with you to Hel?”

I’d carried a durft around before, and those things were vicious. Mean and sharp-toothed as they were, durfts didn’t shoot laser beams out of their eyes. “You’re fucking joking?”

“There are all sorts of stuff like this cat in Hel. He can defend himself, hunt for food. He’ll be happy there.”

Right. Maybe he’d find a liger and fall in love. It wasn’t like any other option was remotely close to optimal, though. “Give me that.” I snatched the half-empty bag of catnip from Beatrix and used a broken piece of shelving to scoop the cat into it.

I know. I had a lethal Destructo Kitty asleep in a plastic bag full of catnip. As an afterthought, I poked a few holes in the side of the bag, in case the little monster needed to breathe. Then I picked my way through the rubble that used to be Columbia Mall and walked through the gate to Hel.

I
didn’t want to carry Destructo Kitty around any longer than I had to. I was probably pushing my luck just strolling through the gate with him in the bag of catnip. Taking in my surroundings, I tried to figure out the most cat-friendly spot to dump him. Yes, he was a monster, but he was still kind of cute, and I at least wanted him to have a fighting chance. The swamps didn’t seem the ideal environment, and neither did the red sand closer to Dis. That left the grasslands and... elves.

The Western Red Forest, the borderland between Cyelle and the demon lands, was nearby. It would serve those pointy-eared bastards right to have this cat roaming their forests. Checking to make sure I wasn’t going to be accosted by juveniles with range weapons again, I found a fairly safe spot under a tree and upended the bag onto the moss. Then I ran and hid behind a tree.

The cat squawked as he thumped onto the ground. Staggering to his feet, he turned in a circle, fluffing the catnip from the bag into a layer of bedding. Then Destructo Kitty went back to sleep, snoring loudly.

Huh. So much for my passive-aggressive revenge against the elves. Scooping the cat back into the bag, I decided on another option. Hopefully the cat would come out of his drug-fueled nap, eat a bag of Doritos, then once again become a rampaging monster after I got where I was going. In the meantime, I had a demon to catch.

How I was going to accomplish that, I didn’t know. So I figured I’d start at the closest place where mover-and-shaker demons hung out—Dis. Expanding my wings, I took flight, speeding as fast as I could over grassy plains and across the rock-studded red sands. Within hours, the megaliths surrounding the city appeared black on the horizon. This part of Hel was flat, and distance was deceptive.

The sun was sinking low by the time I landed and walked down the main street of the city. My feathered wings still attracted a lot of attention, and demons stared. Some threw rocks. Some catcalled. The fact that everyone was busy following me like I was the pied piper meant the demon I’d been searching for wasn’t here or wasn’t running amok.

I strode into Gareth’s place, punching through the alarms, wincing at the sharp stab of pain each one caused. Once I breached the final rune, I walked through the metal door and slammed my hand down on the counter.

“Nice to see you, Iblis.” Gareth ignored my dramatic entrance and continued carving a border around a yew wand.

“The elf sold the gem to a demon. He’s already tested it, and I don’t expect it will be long before he uses it on himself. I need to find the demon and know what to expect if he’s used the gem.”

The sorcerer’s hands shook as he carved. “I don’t have any way of tracking the gem or who holds it. If this is beyond your abilities, then perhaps there is another way for you to repay the favors you owe me.”

I ignored him and put the plastic bag full of catnip and sleeping Destructo Kitty on his counter. “This is what the gem did. Not exactly a spell enhancer, is it? Or an enhancement to the caster? Unless any old furry mammal is able to use the gem.”

Gareth stared at the sleeping kitten. “What is that thing?”

“A baby domestic cat. They are used for rodent control, but their primary purposes is to look cute and irresistible so humans feed them and provide them with shelter and vast amounts of physical affection.”

He peered closer. “I do have the urge to touch it. He looks very soft.”

“He is, and normally when you stroke them, they make very pleasing vibratory noises. This one, however, has been altered. Now, when you stroke him, he throws large household objects at you, sets things on fire, and shoots laser beams from his eyes.”

Gareth winced. “The gem was just supposed to enhance the abilities of the spell caster. I swear that was our original intent, but Swiftethian thought if we altered a few of the spells, non-mages could use it, or even apply it to a third party.”

“So you could make more of them and sell them.” And now I was pissed off. All the sympathy I’d felt at Gareth’s attempt to level the playing field for humans in Hel vanished. Greed, that wonderful sin, had gotten its hooks into the mage, and he’d embraced it.

“They’re difficult to make, and only one in a hundred actually work, so it’s not like there would be dozens of them all over Hel.”

Which made it even more valuable. No wonder Swiftethian had stolen it. No wonder he’d found a demon buyer. No wonder there was a kitten snoozing on the counter who could shoot laser beams out of his eyes.

I should probably back out of this whole thing, but I’d already put a lot of effort into it. Plus I was nervous about any magical item that could do
this
to a kitten. Probably more nervous about that than the prospect of drop bears and harpies having free access to the humans they loved to eat.

“How many charges does this thing have?” Gareth had been vague before, but I knew he wouldn’t create something valuable like this without putting some limitations on it. He’d not make as much money if a demon could buy one then just resell it all over the place until the end of time.

“Six.”

I looked down at the kitten. Well, that was one down, five to go.

“And there is only one in existence?”

“Yes.”

I locked my gaze on Gareth’s eyes, shifting my wings. “There will only be one. If I find that you or anyone else has made another, you will pay with your life. Do you understand?”

I liked Gareth. I hoped to continue working with him in the future. But I was the Iblis, and I couldn’t let this sort of thing pass without explaining that our prior cordial relationship wouldn’t save him if he crossed the line.

He sucked in a sharp breath. “I understand.”

“And you will not be getting it back. Something that turns a kitten into a laser-eyed Incredible Hulk shouldn’t be in existence. I’ll make sure it is destroyed, and in return you will consider all my favors paid. Got it?”

“Yes. I have got it.”

“Good. Now that we’ve covered that, I need to know more. What exactly does this thing enhance? This cat isn’t any bigger. It’s moderately more intelligent, but I don’t see it doing calculus or advanced astrophysics. What determines the skills the gem enhances?”

“It depends.” Gareth’s voice was barely a whisper. He’d set aside the wand and knife, abandoning any pretense at continuing the work. “There are four avenues the spell can take: offence/defense capabilities, physical health and strength, knowledge and power, and intuition/sensory skills.”

“So the cat got the offence and defense enhancement. What happens if the one who wields the gem doesn’t specify? I’m assuming he, or she, needs to hold the desire in mind when activating the device?”

The sorcerer nodded. “If the caster doesn’t specify, or if they’re distracted or their will is not strong enough to sway the magic one way or another, the gem’s spell takes the path of least resistance. It will enhance whatever strength the intended recipient already holds.”

“So a mid-level greed demon?” Strength and physical health were a given for demons. When you could change your physical form to just about anything, that attribute came with birth. Likewise offence and defense. A Low, maybe, but any demon above that level wouldn’t find that appealing enough to waste a costly spell. That left intuition and sensation, or knowledge and power. We all loved sensation, but I was banking on the latter.

“Knowledge to know where things were hidden, to spot frauds, and to know an item’s value probably.” Gareth said. “And the power to knock someone out of the way and take whatever he wanted.”

The kitten stirred, opening one yellow-green eye and purring.

“Is the effect permanent?” I asked, eyeing the cat.

“Yes.” Gareth’s eyes were nervous as they met mine. “Swifterian and I worked together on the gem. I always suspected he put some sort of built-in failsafe to the spell, a way to reverse it or negate it if we humans got too powerful. But when he stole it... .”

“Wouldn’t he still want a failsafe? He didn’t keep it for himself; he sold it to a demon.”

Gareth shook his head. “All I know is the gem I helped create shouldn’t have resulted in a house pet that shoots lasers out of its eyes. Sharper teeth, stronger claws, yes. Lasers, no. This cat should be able to take down a durft, maybe an animal twice his size, but not shoot lasers.”

“So you think Swifty put more than a failsafe into the gem? Maybe turbo charged the enhancement part?”

The sorcerer nodded. “I can’t know for sure. It was bad enough when I thought he’d stolen the gem with the original powers, but this... .”

He didn’t have to say it. This was bad. This sucked big time. And all I could do was fly around and see if someone could help me identify this demon. Then locate him. Then hope I didn’t have to try to take down a demon who shot lasers out of his eyes and levitated houses.

“Let me know if you think of anything else you neglected to tell me.” I turned to leave, aware my words were harsh. They were justified, though. I’d grown to think of Gareth as a sort-of friend, or at the very least, a close and trusted business partner. This whole thing just reminded me that no matter how much of a partner someone seemed, they would always put their own interests first. That rule of selfish motive used to always be in the forefront of my mind, but the last few years I’d become soft and trusting. I couldn’t afford to make that kind of mistake. Trust was a precious gift, one not to be given lightly.

“Hey, what are you going to do about this cat thing?” Gareth called after me.

“I suggest you get a litter box and a scratching post.” Every mage needed a cat, right? Besides, his unfortunate transformation was Gareth’s problem, not mine. If the kitten burned the magical shop down, it was the sorcerer’s own damned fault.

M
aking my way through the streets to Ahriman’s house—which was now my house—I noticed less rock throwing and more following. My crowd hovered outside the bone-and-iron gates with their flame security perimeter. They were still there when I went inside.

Most of my household were at the main house in Patchine, but a few preferred to stay at the smaller house in Dis, where there was more action. A handful of Lows and a few of the demons I’d inherited when I’d killed Ahriman greeted me with exuberance.

“Business!” I told them. “We’ll party later. Right now, I need to find a greed demon.”

“Did he insult you? Should we kill him?”

“For a breeding contract? An imp and a greed demon would be an amazing combination.”

“Does he have something cool? Are we going to steal it from him?”

I could barely think with all the suggestions and guesses flying at me but seized on the last one. “Yes, he does have something cool. A big gem. It’s purple and olive green.”

“Ooh, my favorite color,” Snip proclaimed. “What does it do?”

That was a question I didn’t want to answer. “I don’t want you guys to retrieve the gem, just find the demon. A fun-filled vacation across the gates for whoever finds him first.”

That generated a lot of excitement. Lows couldn’t activate the gates themselves, and even if they paid another demon to do it, they were usually killed by a gate guardian two steps out. Having immunity and traveling under my protection meant a safe vacation, even if they did need to comply with a list of restrictions.

“There are a lot of greed demons,” Snip said. “Do you know anything else about him?”

Smart little guy. I gave him the description Beatrix had given me, along with when the demon had crossed the gate from the mall. “I don’t know what gate he used to leave Hel,” I cautioned. “Or how long he was away from here. At least two days, but probably more.”

Snip tapped a tentacle against his maw. “And he obviously has contacts with elves if he arranged to buy this gem from one.”

“Or he stole it,” I told him. “It’s just as likely he has contacts among the elves or among the demons in Eresh that let him know that someone had a valuable gem. A greed demon wouldn’t balk at tracking down an elf or another demon and taking whatever he wanted.”

I could see the little demon’s mind working. Everyone else had taken off half-cocked on a
Where’s Waldo
hunt or brushed the whole thing off to do other activities in the house. Snip’s determination gave me hope that I might actually be able to find this guy.

The Low’s cavernous mouth stretched outward, lengthening into a snout that would do an anteater proud. Sniffing, he wiggled a wet nose. It looked odd with the six tentacle arms, but I’d come to expect that from demons.

“I’m on it,” he told me, his voice hollow and nasal.

Snip headed off on his search, and I went to make some house calls on the demon elite who held residences in Dis. Ahriman hadn’t been the only powerful being who set up shack here. Dis boasted three ancients and at least four high-ranking demons among the city rolls. I was banking that whoever the demon wanted to target was here, otherwise why go through that particular gate? Still, seven demon households were a lot of targets to consider. I wouldn’t have time to visit them all today. Although, once I thought about it, I realized most probably wouldn’t give me an audience. I might hold the title of Iblis, but to the ancients of Hel, I was still a young upstart imp.